1.
A pastor, who shall we say was “humor impaired,” attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry.Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers.One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the enti
A pastor, who shall we say was “humor impaired,” attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry.Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers.One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the enti
2.
Little Johnny was visiting a friend of his in New York during the winter.
He and his friend went outside to play in the snow.
After about an hour, his friend’s mother called them back inside and had them remove their galoshes and gloves.
Johnny’s
Little Johnny was visiting a friend of his in New York during the winter.
He and his friend went outside to play in the snow.
After about an hour, his friend’s mother called them back inside and had them remove their galoshes and gloves.
Johnny’s
3.
This story is a hilarious example of just that.An Alabaman went to see a psychiatrist because of his drinking problem. He sat down on the couch in his office, and the psychiatrist asked him, “So, can you tell me the reason why you're drinking?”The patien
This story is a hilarious example of just that.An Alabaman went to see a psychiatrist because of his drinking problem. He sat down on the couch in his office, and the psychiatrist asked him, “So, can you tell me the reason why you're drinking?”The patien
4.
During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students…“Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroomMichael?”Michael: “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”T
During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students…“Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroomMichael?”Michael: “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”T
5.
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words.
In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winne
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words.
In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winne
6.
The famous professor of mathematics was in town for a conference.Since he had some free time, he was approached to give a seminar for the undergraduate mathematics students at the local college.After covering several blackboards with densely packed comput
The famous professor of mathematics was in town for a conference.Since he had some free time, he was approached to give a seminar for the undergraduate mathematics students at the local college.After covering several blackboards with densely packed comput
7.
A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said,“Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy,“It's not appropriate to say the word ‘pee' in church.So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee' just tell me that you have
A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said,“Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy,“It's not appropriate to say the word ‘pee' in church.So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee' just tell me that you have
8.
A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake.The owner of the farm shouted:“Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore, will receive 10 million dollars.”The silence was deaf
A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake.The owner of the farm shouted:“Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore, will receive 10 million dollars.”The silence was deaf
9.
Three old ladies – Gertrude, Maude and Tilly – were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation.Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the parkHe was holding his coat together with his hands and di
Three old ladies – Gertrude, Maude and Tilly – were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation.Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the parkHe was holding his coat together with his hands and di
10.
Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant.
One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
“What are you doing?!” he yells
“My coat fell in!” his buddy yells back
“
Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant.
One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
“What are you doing?!” he yells
“My coat fell in!” his buddy yells back
“
11.
The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.Both appear to be blind.The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and
The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.Both appear to be blind.The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and
12.
Fish goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, “Hello, sir. What brings you in today?”
The fish replies, “Everything. I hurt my back at work, I have a cold, my eyesight is going, and I have high blood pressure.”
The doctor raises his eyebrows, jots do
Fish goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, “Hello, sir. What brings you in today?”
The fish replies, “Everything. I hurt my back at work, I have a cold, my eyesight is going, and I have high blood pressure.”
The doctor raises his eyebrows, jots do
13.
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregationEveryone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calm
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregationEveryone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calm
14.
Anna and blonde are walking home from a night at the bar and have to pee,
so they stop at a cemetery.
With nothing to wipe with Anna uses her underwear and the blonde uses a nearby wreath.
The next day anna’s boyfriend calls his friend, “They are
Anna and blonde are walking home from a night at the bar and have to pee,
so they stop at a cemetery.
With nothing to wipe with Anna uses her underwear and the blonde uses a nearby wreath.
The next day anna’s boyfriend calls his friend, “They are
15.
Johnny’s dad told Johnny to take a shower.
“I’m scared, can I take a shower with you?” Johnny said.
“No, son, that would be weird,” his father replied.
“Please?” he cried.
“Okay, okay, but just don’t look down..”
Johnny, being the curious b
Johnny’s dad told Johnny to take a shower.
“I’m scared, can I take a shower with you?” Johnny said.
“No, son, that would be weird,” his father replied.
“Please?” he cried.
“Okay, okay, but just don’t look down..”
Johnny, being the curious b
16.
“I can't speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.“There's a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing,” explains the doctor
“I can't speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.“There's a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing,” explains the doctor
17.
One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.“Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!”“Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied.“She gave it to you? I k
One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.“Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!”“Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied.“She gave it to you? I k
18.
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lbweight loss program.The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round he
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lbweight loss program.The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round he
19.
Judge: Why do you want divorce?Petitioner: My wife asks me to peel off garlic, cut onions, wash utensils.Judge: What's the problem in this? Just warm up the Garlic, it will be easy to peel it.Before cutting Onions just chill them in the refrigerator and t
Judge: Why do you want divorce?Petitioner: My wife asks me to peel off garlic, cut onions, wash utensils.Judge: What's the problem in this? Just warm up the Garlic, it will be easy to peel it.Before cutting Onions just chill them in the refrigerator and t
20.
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right away.“Oh honey, I'm so happy,” he said“Who took you to the hospital?”“Yo
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right away.“Oh honey, I'm so happy,” he said“Who took you to the hospital?”“Yo
21.
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.“I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menuJust bring me a dirty fork from a previous customerI'll smell it and
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.“I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menuJust bring me a dirty fork from a previous customerI'll smell it and
22.
After a while, One guy looks at the other and says, “I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.”The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”The oth
After a while, One guy looks at the other and says, “I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.”The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”The oth
23.
He asks him what happened.His friends says, “Well I was in church and…”The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?”The friend continues, “Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while, what with all the standing, sitting
He asks him what happened.His friends says, “Well I was in church and…”The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?”The friend continues, “Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while, what with all the standing, sitting
24.
Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together.They made a decision, one day to make it,..“yesterday once more”.They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young.The next day, Grandpa go
Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together.They made a decision, one day to make it,..“yesterday once more”.They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young.The next day, Grandpa go
25.
A generous king once ruled in the land of AndhraEvery day two beggars used to come to him for alms and he always gave them food and money.On receiving the alms one of them, the older one, used to say: “God provides.” The other beggar, the younger of the t
A generous king once ruled in the land of AndhraEvery day two beggars used to come to him for alms and he always gave them food and money.On receiving the alms one of them, the older one, used to say: “God provides.” The other beggar, the younger of the t
26.
Two wives finally find some time to have a night out, just the two girls.
After a night of happy drinking, they decide to wobble home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee.
They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realize they have noth
Two wives finally find some time to have a night out, just the two girls.
After a night of happy drinking, they decide to wobble home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee.
They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realize they have noth
27.
This morning I was sitting on a bench next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.He said: “Up until last week, I still had it all!!! A cook, my clothes were washed & pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I we
This morning I was sitting on a bench next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.He said: “Up until last week, I still had it all!!! A cook, my clothes were washed & pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I we
28.
An old Italian man goes to church for confession, he starts “Father forgive me for I have sinned. During the war I hid a young Jewish girl in my cellar”.“That was a wonderful thing you did and needs no forgiveness”, Said the priest.“That's not all, we st
An old Italian man goes to church for confession, he starts “Father forgive me for I have sinned. During the war I hid a young Jewish girl in my cellar”.“That was a wonderful thing you did and needs no forgiveness”, Said the priest.“That's not all, we st
29.
Back in the old Wild West, there were two stupid scoundrels, Jeff and Dave.
One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian’s head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and sa
Back in the old Wild West, there were two stupid scoundrels, Jeff and Dave.
One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian’s head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and sa
30.
A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bedShe puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of himHe appears to be deep in thought, just stari
A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bedShe puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of himHe appears to be deep in thought, just stari
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