😂 Mummy Ka Gussa + Beta Ki Chalaki = Killer Comedy – 08

1.



Santa Suhag Raat Ko Sex Karte Hue Biwi Se Bola: “Teri Choot Badi Loose Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Jaldi Apna Lund Bahar Nikal, Aur Mera Cash, Car, LCD, AC and Jewellery Vapis Kar” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye Bola: “Janu Main To Majak Kar Raha Thha, Mera Lund Hi Patla Aur Chota Hai“

2.



A Nigro Man Attended A Night Party Without Dress.
Santa Thought He Was In Black Suit.
He Told Him: “Your Dress Is Nice But Tie Is In Wrong Place“

3.



Sardar Ji School Mein Apne Ladke Ka Report Card Lene Jate Hai Sardar: “Madam Ji Kab Dengi Aap” Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Sardar Ji Period Khatam Hone Tak To Intezar Kar Lo Na.
Fir De Dungi“

4.



Santa Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha Achanak Hi Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa To Girl: “Do U Have Aids?” Girl: “No” Santa: “Bhagwan Ka Shukar Hai, Main Nahi Chahta Ki Mujhe Dobara Aids Ho Jaye.“

5.



Ek Sardar Ne Raat Mein Sadak Par Chalti Ladki Ko Utha Liya Aur Kisi Sunsaan Jagha Par Jaakar Uska Rape Karne Laga Abhi Vo Rape Karne Hi Wala Thha Ki Ladko Boli: “Ek Kadam Bhi Aage Badhaya To Mein Apne Aap Ko Maar Dalungi” Sardar Bola: “Wah Kudiye, Tenu Mar Jana Kabool Hai Kisi De Kamm Aana Nahi“

6.



Santa Ki Wife TV Dekh Rahi Hoti Hai Toh Santa Usko Kehta Hai.
Santa: “Kya Din Raat Cooking Show Dekhti Rehti Hai?” Wife: “Aap Chup Hi Raho To Achha Hoga, Aapko Kya” Santa: “Arrey, Fir Bhi Tujhe Khana Banana Toh Aata Hi Nahi Hai” Wife: “Aur Aap Bhi Toh Din Raat Blue Film Dekhte Rehte Ho, Maine Kuch Kaha?“

7.



Class Mein Ek Shararti Bache Ne Apni Teacher Se Poocha Johnny: “Miss Ye Bus Male Hai Ya Female?” Teacher Sochne Lagi Itne Mein Santa Bola: “Bus Female Hai” Johnny: “Kyun?” Santa: “Kyunki Sab Uspar Piche Se Chadte Hai” Teacher Bechari Pareshan Ho Gayi Johnny: “Agar Bus Female Hai To Uske Bache Kyu Nahi Hote?” Santa: “Kyunki Sab Uspar Piche Se Chadte Hai” Teacher Bechari Sharam Se Paani Paani Hogayi Johnny: “Mana Sab Piche Se Chadte Hai, Par Driver Aur Conductor To Aage Se Hi Chadte Hai, Fir Bache Kyu Nahi Hote” Teacher Ki Saansein Band Santa: “Kyunki Dono Topi Laga Ke Chadte Hai” Teacher Behosh

8.



Pappu Ne Ladki Se Jhagda Karte-Karte Chut Mein Ungli Kar Di.
Ladki To Pappu: “Kamine Teri Yeh Himmat” Pappu: “Tu Ne Hi Toh Kaha Tha Ungli Neeche Kar Ke Baat Kar“

9.



Pati: Sex ho jaye?
Wife: Nahi Pati: Zewar la dunga
W:Nahi Pati: Car launga
W:Nahi Beta so raha tha..
beech me bola: Papa meri gand mar lo par CYCLE la do...

10.



Ek Admi Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hone Wali Thi To Vo Furniture Wale Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola.
Aadmi: “Mistri Ji, Bed Zara Majbut Banana, Mere Ladke Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai” Ab Mistri Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bola: “Ji Chinta Na Kijiye, Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye To Bhi Nahi Tutega.“

11.



Teacher Santa Se: “Jab Main Padati Hun To Tum Apne Sir Mein Tel (Oil) Kyu Lagane Lag Jaate Ho?” Santa: “Kal Raat Mummy Daddy Ko Kah Rahi Thhi Ki Agar Andar Nahi Jaa Raha To Tel Laga Lo“

12.



Santa Truck Driver Thha Ek Din Sharab Pee Ke Ghar Aya Aur Apni Biwi Ki Panty Mein Hath Dalkar Pucha Santa: “Ye Rasta Kidhar Jata Hai?“ Biwi Ne Uska Lund Pakadkar Kaha: “Is Se Pucho Isko Pata Hoga, Ye Roj Up Down Karta Hai.“

13.



Santa College Ki Side Wali Sadak Ke Kinare Susu Kar Raha Thha Ek Ladki Vaha Se Gujar Rahi Thhi Usne Santa Ka Bada Lund Dekha Aur Boli Ladki: “Wow, Mujhe Bhi Chahiye” Santa Bola: “Abe To Dekh Kya Rahi Hai, Jaldi Se Ek Cup Le Aa, Susu Khatam Hone Wala Hai“

14.



Pappu Ne Apni Girlfriend Se Puchha Pappu: “Ek 6 Inch Ki Cheez Hai Jisko Hath Mein Pakadte Hi Ajeeb Sa Ehsas Hone Lagta Hai Us Cheez Ka Naam Batao?” Ladki Sharam Ke maare: “Chhiii, Kitne Besharam Ho Tum.” Pappu: “Are Main To 500 Rupye Ke Note Ki Baat Kar Raha Tha, Tumhara To Dimaag Hi Ganda Hai.”

15.



Purane Time Ki Baat Hai, Jab India Pe British Raaz Tha.
Santa Ka Man Ek Din Tandoori Chicken Khane Ka Kara To Ek Restraunt Mein Gaya Par Wahaan Bahar Bord Pe Likha Tha: “Only For British People” Santa Fir Bhi Kisi Tarha Se Lad Jhagad Ke Andar Pahuncha Aur Tandoori Chicken Ka Order Diya Order To Aa Gaya, Par Saath Mein Manager Ek British Police Wale Ko Bhi Le Aaya Police Wala: “Tum Ye Chiken Nahi Kha Sakte, Jo Tum Is Chicken Ke Saath Karoge Wo Main Tumhare Sath Karunga, Agar Tu Iski Taang Todega To Main Teri Taang Tod Dunga” Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Pareshan Ho Gaya, Par Achanak Se Uske Dimag Ki Batti Jali, Usne Chicken Ki Gaand Ki Jagha Ungli Dali Aur Masala Nikaal Kar Chatne Lag Gaya, Phir Apni Pant Utar Kar Police Wale Ki Taraf Gaand Kar Ke Bola.
Santa: “Lo Janab Haazir Hai“

16.



School Se Aake Pappu Santa Ko Bola Pappu: “Papa Papa, Hamare School Mein Ek Nayi Teacher Aayi Hai Kya Mast Maal Hai” Santa: “Sale Kutte, Teacher Maa Ke Samaan Hoti Hai” Pappu Gusse Se: “Haan Haan Bhonsdi Ke, Hamesha Apne Bare Mein Hi Socha Kar“

17.



Madam Claas Mein Bachho Ko Pada Rahi Thhi I For Ink J For Jug K For Kite L For Lund Ohh! Sorry Baccho Galti Se Muh Se Nikal Gaya.
Pappu: “Koi Baat Nahi Madam Wapas Muh Mein Le Lijiye“

18.



Pappu Vella Betha Kuch Na Kuch Schemes Hi Sohta Rahta Thha Ese Hi Ek Din Usne Phone Uthaya Aur Ek Ladki Ka Number Dial Kiya Ladki Ne Jaisi Hi Phone Uthaya, Pappu Bola Pappu: “Munna Hai?” Ladki Boli: “Nahi Hai” Pappu: “Mujh Se Chudva Le Ho Jayega“

19.



Teacher Pappu Se: “Tum Bade Ho Ya Tumhare Papa?” Pappu: “Main Bada Huun” Teacher: “Wo Kese?” Pappu: “Dekhiye Mam, Maine Mummy Ka Doodh Peena Chod Diya Hai Lekin Papa Abhi Tak Peete Hai“

20.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Santa Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Aisi Konsi Jagha Hai Jise Banaya To Aadmi Ne Hai, Par Phir Bhi Vo Wahan Nahi Ja Sakta?” Santa Kuch Soch Ke: “Madam Ji, Ladies Toilet“

21.



Santa Ne Shehar Jaake Jockey Ki Chaddi Kharidi Aur Socha Gaanv Jake Sabko Dikhaunga Agle Din Gaanv Mein Sabko Usne Dhoti Utha Utha Ke Chaddi Dikhayi Jab Ghar Vapis Aa Kar Usne Aalmari Kholi To Behosh Ho Gaya Kyunki “Jockey Ki Chaddi To Almari Mein Hi Thi.“

22.



Santa: “Bante, Daily Chyavanprash Khane Se Chusti Rehti Hai.” Banta Hairani Se: “Sach Mein, Mujhe Bhi Bata Na Kon Chusti Rahti Hai? Bata Na Bhai, Bata Na.” Santa: “Abbey! Chusti Rahti Hai, Chusti Yani Fitness” Sale, Ye To Hai Hi Gande Dimaag Ka, Aap To Ye Nahi Soch Rahe The Na.

23.



Callgirl Ne Bus Stand Par Khade Santa Se Puchha: “Sex Karoge?” Santa: “Jarur, Par Agar Meri Wife Ki Tarha Karogi To” Girl: “Haan Karoon Gi But Wo Kese Karti Hai?” Santa: “Muft Mein“

24.



Santa Ek Baar Park Mein Beth Ker Gaana Ga Raha Tha “Aaj Mein Upar Aasma Niche” Uske Paas Ek Aadmi Betha Tha Us Aadmi Ne Santa Ka Gaana Sun Kar Santa Ko Bahut Maara Kyon ??? Kyon Ki Aasma Us Aadmi Ki Beti Ka Naam Tha

25.



Santa Ne Apna Underwear Dhoya Aur Chatt Pe Gaya Sath Wali Padosan Ki Panty Sukh Rahi Thhi Usne Uske Saath Apna Underwear Taanga Uspar Ek Note Likh Diya Aur Khud Chala Gaya “Babhi Please Mera Underwear Bhi Utar Lena Jab Aap Apni Panty Utaaro“

26.



Santa: “Meri Biwi Itna Majak Karti Hai Ke Main Tumhe Kya Bataun” Banta: “Kaisa Majak?” Santa: “Kal Mene Pichhe Se Chupke Se Uski Aankhon Pe Haath Rakh Ke Awaaj Badal Kar Usko Puchha Main Kaun Hoon? To Pahale Wo Boli “Doodh Wala?” Maine Kaha “Nahi” To Wo Boli “Paper Wala” Maine Kaha “Nahi” Phir Wo Boli “Makan Malik Hona?” Dekha Kitna Mazak Karti Hai Na“

27.



Ek Sardar Ji Doctor Ke Paas Gaye Aur Bole “Doctor Sahab Kamjori Badi Haigi Hai” Doctor: “Doodh Daba Ke Piya Kar Kamjori Door Ho Jayegi” Sardar: “Doctor Saab Doodh Te Mein Bada Peenda Haan Par Oh Jyada Dabaan Nahi Dendi“

28.



Ek Ladki Ke T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha Amul – The Taste Of India.
Use Dekh Kar Santa Bahut Khush Hua, Aur Apni Pent Pe Likhva Liya Kurkure – Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai.

29.



Ek Bar Talwar-Bazi Ka Muqabala Ho Raha Tha, Jis Main Ek Amrican, Ek Japanese Or Ek Indian Sardar Ji (Santa Singh) Competitor Thhe Amrican Ne Apni Talwar Se Ek Saamp (Snake) Ke Kayi Chote Chote Tukde Kar Diye.
Japanese Ne Jump Maar Ke Talwar Se Giraffe Ki Gardan Kaat Di Public Ne Surprise Ho Ke Jor Jor Se Taliya Bajayi Aur Bole Kamal Kar Diya Ab Santa Ki Baari Aati Hai To Wo Apni Talwar Hawa Mein Ghumata Hai Aur Ek Machchar Ko Touch Karwata Hai Par Machchar Phir Bhi Fly Karta Rehta Hai.
American, Japanese Aur Public Santa Ko Bolte Hai: “Yeh Kya Tha, Kon Sa Teer Mara Hai Tum Ne” Santa: “Salo Ab Yeh Machchar Kabhi Bhaap Nahin Ban Payega.
Kuinki Maine Iska Lund Kaat Dala Hai“

30.



Santa Ka Beta Pappu Daru Pee Raha Tha Achanak Santa Ne Usko Peete Dekh liya Aur Gusse Se Bola Santa: “Ruk Bhonsdi Ke, Aaj To Mein Teri Maa Chod Dunga” Pappu Nashe Mein: “To Aur Roj Kya Mohalle Wale Chodte Hain“