1.
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night.“My grandfather lived to be 96.”“Ninety-six? What finally got him?”“Liquor and women.”“Well, that just goes to show ya,” snickered the one guy, “both will get you in the end.”“Well actually, n
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night.“My grandfather lived to be 96.”“Ninety-six? What finally got him?”“Liquor and women.”“Well, that just goes to show ya,” snickered the one guy, “both will get you in the end.”“Well actually, n
2.
Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3. Marriage is grand and divorce i
Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3. Marriage is grand and divorce i
3.
The detective walks around the scene and writes in his little bookThey turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush.They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked.They call the police and as they wait, they dec
The detective walks around the scene and writes in his little bookThey turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush.They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked.They call the police and as they wait, they dec
4.
A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.’
The Rabbi asked, ‘What’s wrong?’ The man replied, ‘I’m pretty sure my wife is poisoning me.’
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, ‘How can
A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.’
The Rabbi asked, ‘What’s wrong?’ The man replied, ‘I’m pretty sure my wife is poisoning me.’
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, ‘How can
5.
Nasreddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart.Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal's head between the horns, but never dared try it.One day the animal came and sat down very near him.Hodja threw caution to the winds and seizing th
Nasreddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart.Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal's head between the horns, but never dared try it.One day the animal came and sat down very near him.Hodja threw caution to the winds and seizing th
6.
He asks him what happened.His friends says, “Well I was in church and…”The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?”The friend continues, “Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while, what with all the standing, sitting
He asks him what happened.His friends says, “Well I was in church and…”The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?”The friend continues, “Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while, what with all the standing, sitting
7.
This is the letter that the man wrote to his wife:Dear Wife,I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you foreverI've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for itThese last 2 weeks have been hell…Your boss called to
This is the letter that the man wrote to his wife:Dear Wife,I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you foreverI've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for itThese last 2 weeks have been hell…Your boss called to
8.
Once there were three men, Charlie, Mason and Buck, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.
As they stood at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your
Once there were three men, Charlie, Mason and Buck, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.
As they stood at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your
9.
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and forcefully drags him into his office. The zookeeper then explains to the m
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and forcefully drags him into his office. The zookeeper then explains to the m
10.
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner.
A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner.
A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on
11.
They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they had spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of their hectic schedules, the husband flew down to Florida one day ahead of his wife.After he had checked in to the hotel, he noticed that there was
They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they had spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of their hectic schedules, the husband flew down to Florida one day ahead of his wife.After he had checked in to the hotel, he noticed that there was
12.
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law schoolHe decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.He really wanted to impress everyoneHe opened his new law office, but business was very
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law schoolHe decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.He really wanted to impress everyoneHe opened his new law office, but business was very
13.
The teacher asks her class
“What is s*x?”
Little Jonny stands up
says “s*x is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl’s destination.
Did you get my explanation
or do you need a demonstration?”
an
The teacher asks her class
“What is s*x?”
Little Jonny stands up
says “s*x is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl’s destination.
Did you get my explanation
or do you need a demonstration?”
an
14.
A deeply religious Rabbi lived happily with his family, an admirable woman and two dear sons.One time, he had to be away from home for several days due to workWhen he was away, a serious car accident killed his two boys.Alone, the mother suffered in silen
A deeply religious Rabbi lived happily with his family, an admirable woman and two dear sons.One time, he had to be away from home for several days due to workWhen he was away, a serious car accident killed his two boys.Alone, the mother suffered in silen
15.
The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs, “You've been a naughty boy haven't you? Extortion, gambling, prostitutes and even murder!”The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder.“I'm a fair guy, what I'm go
The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs, “You've been a naughty boy haven't you? Extortion, gambling, prostitutes and even murder!”The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder.“I'm a fair guy, what I'm go
16.
His friends to him at coffee: “We adore your family life, you’ve got a great life with your wife and kids.
Tell us the secret of this happiness or we’ll consider you as a diffident”
“Well, i can shortly explain. After our wedding, she started riding
His friends to him at coffee: “We adore your family life, you’ve got a great life with your wife and kids.
Tell us the secret of this happiness or we’ll consider you as a diffident”
“Well, i can shortly explain. After our wedding, she started riding
17.
A man was walking down the beach when he found a bottle.
He picks up the bottle, and a genie comes out.
The genie says that he will grant him one wish.
“Well, I’d like to go to Hawaii.
But, I’m afraid of flying and I don’t like the idea of goi
A man was walking down the beach when he found a bottle.
He picks up the bottle, and a genie comes out.
The genie says that he will grant him one wish.
“Well, I’d like to go to Hawaii.
But, I’m afraid of flying and I don’t like the idea of goi
18.
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Many years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they wer
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Many years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they wer
19.
Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years.
Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment.
“I’ve got a wife and three kids an
Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years.
Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment.
“I’ve got a wife and three kids an
20.
The King knew his gorgeous Queen was going to be unfaithful with everyone through the court and county, so he turned to his court magistrate for help.The court magistrate showed the King a pair of metal panties, with a hole in the middle.“Why, doesn't tha
The King knew his gorgeous Queen was going to be unfaithful with everyone through the court and county, so he turned to his court magistrate for help.The court magistrate showed the King a pair of metal panties, with a hole in the middle.“Why, doesn't tha
21.
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turnWhen he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turnWhen he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint
22.
Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.“Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer.”“Then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish
Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.“Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer.”“Then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish
23.
A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.Man: “Hello?”Woman: “Honey, its me. Are you at the club?”Man: “Yes.”Woman: “I'm at the mall n
A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.Man: “Hello?”Woman: “Honey, its me. Are you at the club?”Man: “Yes.”Woman: “I'm at the mall n
24.
A poor boy was in love with a rich man’s daughter. Overcome with his love for the girl, the boy proposed to her.
However, the rich girl derisively rejected him and said, “Your monthly salary is equivalent to my daily expenses. How do you expect me to m
A poor boy was in love with a rich man’s daughter. Overcome with his love for the girl, the boy proposed to her.
However, the rich girl derisively rejected him and said, “Your monthly salary is equivalent to my daily expenses. How do you expect me to m
25.
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse.The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudl
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse.The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudl
26.
But after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California.They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.“Where you wanna go?”“Hooters.”“W
But after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California.They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.“Where you wanna go?”“Hooters.”“W
27.
Most people know me, but don't know my story.At the age of 3, I watched my father leave.I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most.Eventually I left high school without earn
Most people know me, but don't know my story.At the age of 3, I watched my father leave.I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most.Eventually I left high school without earn
28.
So a man walks up to the department store counter.“Two pairs of underwear please.”The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief.“Only two pairs of underwear?”“YupI wear one while the other is in the wash.”The man behind the counter looks at him in
So a man walks up to the department store counter.“Two pairs of underwear please.”The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief.“Only two pairs of underwear?”“YupI wear one while the other is in the wash.”The man behind the counter looks at him in
29.
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?!”The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”The terrifie
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?!”The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”The terrifie
30.
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
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