1.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.“That's it! No butte
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.“That's it! No butte
2.
A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon.When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages.One extremely hot day some of the pupils fell asleep in the afternoon.When the school-teacher chided
A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon.When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages.One extremely hot day some of the pupils fell asleep in the afternoon.When the school-teacher chided
3.
In Mexico City, the 200 meter final was runAmerican (black) athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos came first and third, while Australian (white) Peter Norman won the second.While they were waiting for the medal ceremony, Carlos came to Peter Norman and as
In Mexico City, the 200 meter final was runAmerican (black) athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos came first and third, while Australian (white) Peter Norman won the second.While they were waiting for the medal ceremony, Carlos came to Peter Norman and as
4.
The old man placed an order for one hamburger , French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half , placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries , dividing them into two
The old man placed an order for one hamburger , French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half , placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries , dividing them into two
5.
They stop at a gun shop to get all the gear they will need. The clerk helping them out decided to have a little fun with the newbies.CLERK: Best way to hunt a moose is in one of these female moose costumes. You both get in it, make a moose mating call,
They stop at a gun shop to get all the gear they will need. The clerk helping them out decided to have a little fun with the newbies.CLERK: Best way to hunt a moose is in one of these female moose costumes. You both get in it, make a moose mating call,
6.
Late in the night, Jim, a Marine, finally regained consciousness.He was in hospital, in agonizing pain.He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a gorge
Late in the night, Jim, a Marine, finally regained consciousness.He was in hospital, in agonizing pain.He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a gorge
7.
A husband and wife have four sons.
The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be tot
A husband and wife have four sons.
The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be tot
8.
So he does this for her Birthday, much to her dismaySince her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.“I'd like to be six again”, She replied, still looking in the mirror.On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, m
So he does this for her Birthday, much to her dismaySince her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.“I'd like to be six again”, She replied, still looking in the mirror.On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, m
9.
Paddy bought a camel from a farmer for $100.The farmer agreed to deliver the camel the next day.In the morning he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news.The camel's died.'Paddy replied, ‘Well just give me my money back then.'The farmer sa
Paddy bought a camel from a farmer for $100.The farmer agreed to deliver the camel the next day.In the morning he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news.The camel's died.'Paddy replied, ‘Well just give me my money back then.'The farmer sa
10.
A man and his mother-in-law went to Jerusalem and while they were there the mother-in-law passes away.The priest says to the man, “for $150 we can bury your mother-in-law here or for $5000 we can ship her back home to be buried.The man replies, “Oh I will
A man and his mother-in-law went to Jerusalem and while they were there the mother-in-law passes away.The priest says to the man, “for $150 we can bury your mother-in-law here or for $5000 we can ship her back home to be buried.The man replies, “Oh I will
11.
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his.The neighbour happened to be a lawyer.Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said:Hey,
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his.The neighbour happened to be a lawyer.Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said:Hey,
12.
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to town in search of one in her size.
She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie,
“Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?”
The clerk haughtily re
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to town in search of one in her size.
She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie,
“Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?”
The clerk haughtily re
13.
A man was talking to one of his friends named Jim when another friend walked up to them.
The friend showed them that his head had become a giant pumpkin.
The two friends were awestruck as they watched their friend with the giant pumpkin head move st
A man was talking to one of his friends named Jim when another friend walked up to them.
The friend showed them that his head had become a giant pumpkin.
The two friends were awestruck as they watched their friend with the giant pumpkin head move st
14.
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other.
The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong.
“Well,” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without t
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other.
The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong.
“Well,” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without t
15.
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party…After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest roomThose who remained talked about their kids.The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joyHe started working at a succe
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party…After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest roomThose who remained talked about their kids.The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joyHe started working at a succe
16.
“Mum, am I adopted?”“No, of course not”, replied his motherWhy would you think such a thing?Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test resultsNo match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of the city.Perturbed, hi
“Mum, am I adopted?”“No, of course not”, replied his motherWhy would you think such a thing?Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test resultsNo match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of the city.Perturbed, hi
17.
A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live.
He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad news she said to him, “Honey, if there’s anything I can do to make you happy, tell me.”
The preacher answered
A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live.
He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad news she said to him, “Honey, if there’s anything I can do to make you happy, tell me.”
The preacher answered
18.
A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over.The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”The man replies, “Yes, I amI'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you t
A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over.The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”The man replies, “Yes, I amI'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you t
19.
Reaching the end of a job interview the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,“And what starting salary are you looking for?”The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending
Reaching the end of a job interview the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,“And what starting salary are you looking for?”The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending
20.
An elderly gentleman had been experiencing serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.The elderly gentleman went back in
An elderly gentleman had been experiencing serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.The elderly gentleman went back in
21.
… he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsThe man buys a round of drinks as his wife just gave birth to typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsCongratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamation
… he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsThe man buys a round of drinks as his wife just gave birth to typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsCongratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamation
22.
Two well-dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during anendless wait in the Brisbane Airport Terminal.The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man.The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Quee
Two well-dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during anendless wait in the Brisbane Airport Terminal.The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man.The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Quee
23.
A new general was allotted to a new army base.
After some time in the base he realized how there were two army men guarding an empty bench in shifts.
He asked his colleagues and his juniors what it was all about. A colleague said “I don’t know but i
A new general was allotted to a new army base.
After some time in the base he realized how there were two army men guarding an empty bench in shifts.
He asked his colleagues and his juniors what it was all about. A colleague said “I don’t know but i
24.
All three sit down at the barThe bartender looks at the man and says, “What'll ya have?”The man says, “Gimme a beer.” The ostrich says, “I'll have one too.” The cat says, “I want two beers, but I'm only gonna pay half price.”The bartender serves up four b
All three sit down at the barThe bartender looks at the man and says, “What'll ya have?”The man says, “Gimme a beer.” The ostrich says, “I'll have one too.” The cat says, “I want two beers, but I'm only gonna pay half price.”The bartender serves up four b
25.
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.”There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by.He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.He th
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.”There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by.He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.He th
26.
Most people know me, but don't know my story.At the age of 3, I watched my father leave.I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most.Eventually I left high school without earn
Most people know me, but don't know my story.At the age of 3, I watched my father leave.I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most.Eventually I left high school without earn
27.
An elderly lady called the hospital to ask about a patient who was being cared for.“Hello, I'd like some information on a patient, her name is MrsTiptreeShe is in Ward P, Room 23.”“I will just put you through to the ward.”The elderly lady repeated her req
An elderly lady called the hospital to ask about a patient who was being cared for.“Hello, I'd like some information on a patient, her name is MrsTiptreeShe is in Ward P, Room 23.”“I will just put you through to the ward.”The elderly lady repeated her req
28.
Three nuns died in a car accident. They reached to the gates of heaven but the person who let’s people in said “so I know you are people of the cloth but I decided that I am not going to just let people in, I’m going to give you a test”.
So he goes to
Three nuns died in a car accident. They reached to the gates of heaven but the person who let’s people in said “so I know you are people of the cloth but I decided that I am not going to just let people in, I’m going to give you a test”.
So he goes to
29.
I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said, “You just had breakfast?”“Yes.” she replied.“Well, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummyOur body takes all the good stuff it needs from out of the food then what's l
I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said, “You just had breakfast?”“Yes.” she replied.“Well, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummyOur body takes all the good stuff it needs from out of the food then what's l
30.
A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.At the first house a woman complains, “I've be
A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.At the first house a woman complains, “I've be
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