🤣 Desi Comedy Reloaded – Hindi Chutkule Collection – 02

1.



Ek Baar Santa Aur Banta Raste Par Ja Rahe The… Santa: “Yaar Main Toh Aaj Mar Gaya, Meri Patni Aur Meri Masook Dono Ek Sath Saamne Se Aa Rahi Hain” Banta: “Oye Banteya Main V Tan Ehi Kehan Wala Si…“

2.



Ek Baar Santa Kisi Beach Par Gaya.
Wahaan Use Ek Nangi Ladki Leti Hui Dikhayi Di.
Santa Ko Sharam Aa Gayi To Usne Uske Pichwade Par Apni Topi Rakh Kar Chala Gaya.
Piche Se Ghumta Hua Banta Aa Raha Tha, Usne Ye Nazara Dekha To Chilla Kar Bola Banta: “Bachao-Bachao, Hey Bhagwan Wo Admi Pura Andar Chala Gaya Sirf Topi Bahar Rah Gayi.“

3.



Ek Bar Ek Sardar Ka Interview Thhe Naukri Ke Liye.
Interview Lene Wala Bola: “Sardar Ji Ye Batao Ki Kaunsi Cheez Hai Jo Bahut Tez Chalti Hai, Or Jiske Chaar Tires Hote Hai??” Sardar: “Car” Interviewer: “Galat, Maruti Car….
Next Question..
Vo Kaunsi Cheez Hai Jiske Do Tires Hai Aur Vo Bahut Tej Chalti Hai?” Sardar: “Motorcycle” Interviewer: “Bilkul Galat, Honda Motorcycle” Sardar Ko Ab Gussa Aa Gaya Usne Interviewer Ko Gaali Dete Hue Kaha “Interview Gaya Maa De Gusse Vich… Tu Mainu Ek Gal Dhass Idhar Vi Baal, Udhar Vi Baal, Vich Ek Mori (Hole) Dass Ki Hai Oh” Interviewer: “Fuddi” Sardar: “Galat Jawab Pen Deya Lodya… Teri Maa Di Fuddi“

4.



Sardar Ji Ki Shadi Hui To First Night Ko Apni Biwi Ki Choo.T Ke Niche Mombatti Jala Ke Beth Gaye Biwi Ne Pucha: “Eh Ki Kar Raye Ho Ji?” Sardar: “Dostaan Ne Keya Si Ke Fud.Di Len To Pehla Garam Kar Layi“

5.



Ladki to Dr: Bachcha 2 din se doodh nhi pi raha Dr ne Bra me hath daala aur kafi der taK bobbs ko masal ke bola Doodh hi nai hai Ladki:,Main to iski Mausi hoon,

6.



Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The“

7.



Ajakal Ke Time Mein Ladkiya Bewafa Kyu Hoti Hai, Aur Biwiya Apne Mard Ko Chhod Kar Dusre Mardo Ke Piche Kyu Bhagti Hai.
Is Cheez Par Research Karke Hamare Pujniye Baba Saxidas Ji Ne Ek Slogan Banaya Hai.
Rozana Muth Marne Se Parhez Kariye, Yaad Rakhein Ke Lund Jaandar To Mard Shaandar,

8.



Santa Apni Girl-Friend Ke Boobs Choos Raha Tha.
Ladki Ko Tharak Chadd Gayi Aur Wo Boli: “Tumhe Kuch Aur Nahi Chahiye?” Santa: “Dudh Ke Sath Do-Teen Biscuit Mil Jate, To Maja Hi Aa Jata“

9.



Ek Bar Santa Cycle Pe Gaanv (Village) Jaa Raha Tha.
Raste Mein Ek Sunder Si Ladki Ne Santa Se Lift Maangi Santa Ne Usko Cycle Ke Aage Bitha Liya Thodi Door Jane Par Ladki Ne Santa Se Pucha Ladki: “Maine Suna Hai Ki Punjabi Logo Ka Lund Bahut Bada Hota Hai, Kya Ye Sach Hai?” Santa Bola: “Oye Kudiye, Is Baat Par Yakeen Kar Le Kyunki Ye Cycle Ladies Hai“

10.



A Nigro Man Attended A Night Party Without Dress.
Santa Thought He Was In Black Suit.
He Told Him: “Your Dress Is Nice But Tie Is In Wrong Place“

11.



Ek Bar Talwar-Bazi Ka Muqabala Ho Raha Tha, Jis Main Ek Amrican, Ek Japanese Or Ek Indian Sardar Ji (Santa Singh) Competitor Thhe Amrican Ne Apni Talwar Se Ek Saamp (Snake) Ke Kayi Chote Chote Tukde Kar Diye.
Japanese Ne Jump Maar Ke Talwar Se Giraffe Ki Gardan Kaat Di Public Ne Surprise Ho Ke Jor Jor Se Taliya Bajayi Aur Bole Kamal Kar Diya Ab Santa Ki Baari Aati Hai To Wo Apni Talwar Hawa Mein Ghumata Hai Aur Ek Machchar Ko Touch Karwata Hai Par Machchar Phir Bhi Fly Karta Rehta Hai.
American, Japanese Aur Public Santa Ko Bolte Hai: “Yeh Kya Tha, Kon Sa Teer Mara Hai Tum Ne” Santa: “Salo Ab Yeh Machchar Kabhi Bhaap Nahin Ban Payega.
Kuinki Maine Iska Lund Kaat Dala Hai“

12.



Santa Badi Buri Halat Mein Ghar Aya Sab Ne Pucha: “Kya Hua?” Santa: “Mandi Mein Anaaj Bech Raha Thha Ye Kah Ke Gehoon-Le-Lo” Gharwale: “Fir?” Santa: “Sab Ne Samjha Gay-Hun-Le-Lo, Aur Unhone Meri Mill Ke Li“

13.



Ek Ladki Ka Mangetar Mar Gaya, Laash Ko Dekh Vo Us Se Lipat Kar Rone Lagi Aur Boli.
Ladki: “Hey Bhagwan, Abhi To Mene Kuch Dekha Bhi Nahi Tha” Pass Mein Santa Khada Tha Ye Sun Us Se Raha Na Gaya Aur Bola.
Santa: “Koi Baat Nahi Beta, Abhi Thodi Der Mein Nehlayenge, Tab Dekh Lena“

14.



Baba Saxidas Se Unke Ek Chele Ne Pucha Chela: “Baba Ji, Ek Aurat Apne Jeeven Mein Apne Pati Se Kya Chathti Hai?” Baba Saxidas: “Pati Ke Zinda Rahne Tak Uska Kadak Lund Aur Marne Ke Baad Uska Kadak LIC Fund“

15.



Pappu Ke Pados Mein Ek Nayi Familly Rahne Aayi, Ek Din Uski Ladki Ne T–Shirt Pahni Hui Thhi Jispe Car Bani Hui Thi.
Papu Lagatar Usko Dekhe Ja Raha Thha, Ladki Ne Us Se Pucha.
Ladki: “Oye, Kabhi Car Nahi Dekhi Kya?” Papu: “Ji, Car To Dekhi Hai, Par Itne Bade-Bade Speed Breaker Kabhi Nahi Dekhe“

16.



Santa (B.Com) Saw A Poster At A Police Station: “Two Engineers Wanted For Rape” Santa: “Shit Man, These Engineers Always Get The Best Jobs“

17.



Ek Raat Ko Santa Fashion Tv Dekh Raha Tha To Achank Uska Ladka Aa Jata Hai To Banta Fatafat Bola: “Gareeb Ladkiyan Hain Bechari Kapde Kharidne Ke Liye Bhi Pese Nahi Hain” Ladka: “Daddy ! Jab Inse Bhi Gareeb Ladkiyan Aaye To Mujhe Bhi Awaj Laga Dena“

18.



Santa Apni Ek College Friend Ke Sath Shopping Mall Mein Ghumne Gaya, Vahan Ladki Ko Washroom Jana Hota Hai, To Santa Ko Apna Purse Dete Hue Bolti Hai Girlfriend: “Yeh Purse Pakdo Mein Abhi Aayi” Ab Santa Hai To Akal Se Sayana Hi, Socha Ki Dekhu Ladkiya Bag Mein Kya Rakhti Hai Jaisi Hi Usne Purse Ko Khola Usmein Se Rubber Ka Lund Nikla.
Santa Ke Ye Dekh Ke Tote Udd Gaye Aur Usne Fatafatt Purse Band Kar Diya.
Ladki Washroom Se Aayi Aur Majak Majak Mein Usne Santa Ko Puchha.
Girlfriend: “Khola To Nahi?” Santa: “Na Ji Na, Purse Khol Ke Mene Apni Gaand Thodi Fadwani Hai“

19.



Apne Santa Singh Ji Kayi Dino Se Apni Biwi Se Door Thhe.
Ek Din Ghumne Nikle To Kadam Behak Gaye Aur Red Line Area Mein Pahoonch Gaye.
Ek Dalal Ne Santa Ko Dekha Toh Woh Uske Peeche Pad Gaya.
Santa Se Bola Yahan Ek Bahut Hasin Cheez Hai Tabiyat Khush Ho Jayegi.
Santa: “Paisi Kitni Legi?” Dalal: “Palang Ke 500, Khat Par Karoge To 200 Aur 100 Mein Chatai” Santa Ne Socha Kabhi Chatai Par Nahi Kiya Aur Phir Paise Bhi To Kam Lag Rahe Hain, Usne Chatai Ke Liye Haami Bhar Di.
Dalal Use Ek Makaan Mein Legaya, Aur Bola Tum Intezaar Karo Main Abhi Ladki Ko Bhejta Hoon.
Thodi Der Baad Ek Khubsoorat Ladki Aayi Aur Santa Ke Samne Saare Kapde Utaar Kar Khadi Ho Gayi.
Santa: “Yeh Kya Hai?” Ladki: “100 Rs Mein Tumne Chatai Tay Ki Thi, Abb Chato Aur Jaao“

20.



Santa: “Madam, How Do Babies Come In To The World?” Teacher: “In The Moonlight Angels Come and Leave The Baby In A Mother’s Lap” Santa: “You Mean Fucking Is Useless“

21.



Santa Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha Achanak Hi Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa To Girl: “Do U Have Aids?” Girl: “No” Santa: “Bhagwan Ka Shukar Hai, Main Nahi Chahta Ki Mujhe Dobara Aids Ho Jaye.“

22.



Pappu Jab 4 Month Ka Ho Gaya Tha To Ek Din Santa Ne Apni Biwi Preeto Se Puchha Santa: “Tum Pappu Ko Kya Pilati Ho?” Preeto: “Doodh Aur Orange Juice” Santa Ye Sun Kar Hawa Mein Uchhla Aur Biwi Se Bola Santa: “Oye, Tune Kabhi Bataya Nahi Ki Orange Juice Kis Side Se Aata Hai?“

23.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

24.



Santa Roz-Roz Office Ki Canteen Ka Khana Kha Kar Bore Ho Chuka Tha, Aaj Uska Man Ghar Ja Kar Apni Biwi Ke Hath Ka Khana Khane Ko Kar Raha Tha, Santa Bin Bataye Ghar Aaya To Usne Dekha Ki Biwi Palang Par Nangi Leti Hui Hai, Pasina Nikal Raha Hai Aur Saans Fool Rahi Hai.
Santa Ne Apni Patni Se Pucha: “Kya Hua?“ Biwi: “Dil Gabra Raha Hai, Jaldi Se Doctor Ko Bulao“ Santa Doctor Ko Bulane Bhaga To Pappu Ne Darwaje Par Santa Ko Roka Aur Bola.
Pappu: “Papa, Chachu Bed Ke Niche Nange Chupe Hai“ Santa Wapis Aaya, Bed Ke Niche Dekha Aur Apne Bhai Ko Nikal Kar Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Bhosdi Ke, Teri Bhabhi Ko Heart Attack Aaya Hai Aur Tu Nanga Ho Ke Bed Ke Niche Chupa Hai Saale“

25.



Ek Sardar Ji Doctor Ke Paas Gaye Aur Bole “Doctor Sahab Kamjori Badi Haigi Hai” Doctor: “Doodh Daba Ke Piya Kar Kamjori Door Ho Jayegi” Sardar: “Doctor Saab Doodh Te Mein Bada Peenda Haan Par Oh Jyada Dabaan Nahi Dendi“

26.



Pappu Ke Dost Golu Ne Ek Din Us Se Puchha Golu: “Yaar Ek Baat To Bata, Ye School Male Hota Hai Ya Female?” Pappu Kuch Soch Kar Bola: “Yaar Ye To Mujhe Khud Aaj Tak Nahi Samajh Aaya, Kyunki Ismein Ghanta Bhi Hota Hai Aur Periods Bhi“

27.



,बच्चे का फुल टिकेट लगेगा.
औरत:- यह तो अभी निपल्स चूसता है.
कंडक्टर:- ,वो तो इसका बाप भी चूसता है, तो क्या उसका भी आधा लेगी?

28.



Preeto Apne Pati Santa Se Subha Uth Ke Kahti Hai Preeto: “Suno Ji, Aaj Phir Billi Doodh Pee Gayi” Santa: “Maine Tujhe Kitni Baar Kaha Hai Ki Apne Blouse Ke Button Band Karke Soya Kar“

29.



Koi Bhi Kunwari Ladki Savecha Se Apni Choot Nahi Deti, Usko Majbur Kar Diya Jata Hai, Chahe Pyar Ka Natak Karke Karo Ya Usko Koi Aur Lalach Dekar.
Aurto Ke Liye Baba Saxidas Ji Ka Ek Mahan Naara, Tum Mujhe Choot Do Main Tumhe Bacha Dunga, Par Hairani Is Bat Ki Hai India Ki Aurte Fir Bhi Jagruk Nahi Hai Aur Bache Ke Liye Tadpati Hai.

30.



Santa Pahli Baar Train Mein Reservation Karaane Ke Liye Gayaa Santa Ne Reservation Form Me “Ling/Sex” Wale Column Me Likh Diya “8 Inch” Aur Form Submit Kar Diya.
Booking Window Par Clerk Lady Thi, Usne Ye Dekha Aur Boli Lady Cleark: “Sir Ye Kya Hai, Isko Kaato, Ye Nahi Chalega” Santa Hairani Se: “Kitna Kaat Doon?” Lady Cleark: “Poora Hi Kaatna Padega” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye: “Madam Ji Aap Reservation Cancel Hi Kar Do, Main Bus Se Hi Chala Jaaunga.“