1.
Santa Apni Suhaag Raat Mein Apni Biwi Preeto Ki Chut Mein Ungli Daalta Hai.
Preeto Gusse Se Bhadakti Hue Boli “Abe Oye, Mere Paas Khud Ki 10 Ungliyan Hai, Maine Ungli Dalwaane Ke Liye Shaadi Nahi Ki Hai.”
Santa Apni Suhaag Raat Mein Apni Biwi Preeto Ki Chut Mein Ungli Daalta Hai.
Preeto Gusse Se Bhadakti Hue Boli “Abe Oye, Mere Paas Khud Ki 10 Ungliyan Hai, Maine Ungli Dalwaane Ke Liye Shaadi Nahi Ki Hai.”
2.
Ladki Ki Jeans Ki Pant Khulli Thhi Aur Usne Panty Nahi Pahan Rakhi Thhi Pappu Dekh Ke Bola: “Aapke Lower Lips Dikh Rahe Hai” Ladki: “Mujhe Pata Hai Beta, Ye To Ciggerate Peena Chahte Hai“
Ladki Ki Jeans Ki Pant Khulli Thhi Aur Usne Panty Nahi Pahan Rakhi Thhi Pappu Dekh Ke Bola: “Aapke Lower Lips Dikh Rahe Hai” Ladki: “Mujhe Pata Hai Beta, Ye To Ciggerate Peena Chahte Hai“
3.
Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“
Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“
4.
Teacher Class Mein Nayi Nayi Aayi Aur Bachho Ko Pucha Teacher: “Chalo Bacho Jaldi Batao, Jo Sun Nahi Sakta Use Kya Kahenge?” Santa: “Madam Ji, Usse Madarchod, Maa Ke Laude, Bhenchod, Bhen Ke Lund Kuchh Bhi Keh Do Kya Farak Padta Hai, Vo Kaunsa Sun Lega“
Teacher Class Mein Nayi Nayi Aayi Aur Bachho Ko Pucha Teacher: “Chalo Bacho Jaldi Batao, Jo Sun Nahi Sakta Use Kya Kahenge?” Santa: “Madam Ji, Usse Madarchod, Maa Ke Laude, Bhenchod, Bhen Ke Lund Kuchh Bhi Keh Do Kya Farak Padta Hai, Vo Kaunsa Sun Lega“
5.
Ek Baar Sharabi Santa Ka Lund Facture Hone Par Ek Admi Use Hospital Le Gaya, Waha Doctor Ne Pucha.
Doctor: “Yeh Kaise Hua?” Santa: “Main Usko Jaan Se Maar Dunga Jisne Diwaar Par Nangi Ladki Ki Tasvir Chipkai“
Ek Baar Sharabi Santa Ka Lund Facture Hone Par Ek Admi Use Hospital Le Gaya, Waha Doctor Ne Pucha.
Doctor: “Yeh Kaise Hua?” Santa: “Main Usko Jaan Se Maar Dunga Jisne Diwaar Par Nangi Ladki Ki Tasvir Chipkai“
6.
Ek Baar Santa Kisi Beach Par Gaya.
Wahaan Use Ek Nangi Ladki Leti Hui Dikhayi Di.
Santa Ko Sharam Aa Gayi To Usne Uske Pichwade Par Apni Topi Rakh Kar Chala Gaya.
Piche Se Ghumta Hua Banta Aa Raha Tha, Usne Ye Nazara Dekha To Chilla Kar Bola Banta: “Bachao-Bachao, Hey Bhagwan Wo Admi Pura Andar Chala Gaya Sirf Topi Bahar Rah Gayi.“
Ek Baar Santa Kisi Beach Par Gaya.
Wahaan Use Ek Nangi Ladki Leti Hui Dikhayi Di.
Santa Ko Sharam Aa Gayi To Usne Uske Pichwade Par Apni Topi Rakh Kar Chala Gaya.
Piche Se Ghumta Hua Banta Aa Raha Tha, Usne Ye Nazara Dekha To Chilla Kar Bola Banta: “Bachao-Bachao, Hey Bhagwan Wo Admi Pura Andar Chala Gaya Sirf Topi Bahar Rah Gayi.“
7.
Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“
Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“
8.
Ek Bar Talwar-Bazi Ka Muqabala Ho Raha Tha, Jis Main Ek Amrican, Ek Japanese Or Ek Indian Sardar Ji (Santa Singh) Competitor Thhe Amrican Ne Apni Talwar Se Ek Saamp (Snake) Ke Kayi Chote Chote Tukde Kar Diye.
Japanese Ne Jump Maar Ke Talwar Se Giraffe Ki Gardan Kaat Di Public Ne Surprise Ho Ke Jor Jor Se Taliya Bajayi Aur Bole Kamal Kar Diya Ab Santa Ki Baari Aati Hai To Wo Apni Talwar Hawa Mein Ghumata Hai Aur Ek Machchar Ko Touch Karwata Hai Par Machchar Phir Bhi Fly Karta Rehta Hai.
American, Japanese Aur Public Santa Ko Bolte Hai: “Yeh Kya Tha, Kon Sa Teer Mara Hai Tum Ne” Santa: “Salo Ab Yeh Machchar Kabhi Bhaap Nahin Ban Payega.
Kuinki Maine Iska Lund Kaat Dala Hai“
Ek Bar Talwar-Bazi Ka Muqabala Ho Raha Tha, Jis Main Ek Amrican, Ek Japanese Or Ek Indian Sardar Ji (Santa Singh) Competitor Thhe Amrican Ne Apni Talwar Se Ek Saamp (Snake) Ke Kayi Chote Chote Tukde Kar Diye.
Japanese Ne Jump Maar Ke Talwar Se Giraffe Ki Gardan Kaat Di Public Ne Surprise Ho Ke Jor Jor Se Taliya Bajayi Aur Bole Kamal Kar Diya Ab Santa Ki Baari Aati Hai To Wo Apni Talwar Hawa Mein Ghumata Hai Aur Ek Machchar Ko Touch Karwata Hai Par Machchar Phir Bhi Fly Karta Rehta Hai.
American, Japanese Aur Public Santa Ko Bolte Hai: “Yeh Kya Tha, Kon Sa Teer Mara Hai Tum Ne” Santa: “Salo Ab Yeh Machchar Kabhi Bhaap Nahin Ban Payega.
Kuinki Maine Iska Lund Kaat Dala Hai“
9.
Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai, Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?” Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“
Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai, Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?” Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“
10.
Santa Sochte Hue Banta Se Bolta Hai: “Yaar Ye Ladkiyan Kitni Chalak Hoti Hain” Banta Puchta Hai: “Kyun??” Santa: “Yaar Ladkiyan Apna 18 Rupye Litre Wala Doodh Dikha Kar, Humara 180 Rupye Litre Wala Ghee Nikal Leti Hai.
Santa Sochte Hue Banta Se Bolta Hai: “Yaar Ye Ladkiyan Kitni Chalak Hoti Hain” Banta Puchta Hai: “Kyun??” Santa: “Yaar Ladkiyan Apna 18 Rupye Litre Wala Doodh Dikha Kar, Humara 180 Rupye Litre Wala Ghee Nikal Leti Hai.
11.
Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“
Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“
12.
Santa Plane Mein Air Hostess Ko Dekhe Ja Raha Thha.
Air Hostess Ki Left Breast Pe Name Plate Lagi Thhi, Aur Uspar Likha Tha, Teena.
Santa Ne Ye Dekh Kar Air Hostess Se Pucha.
Santa: “Waah Ji Bahut Badiya Naam Rakha Hai, Dosre Wale Ka Kya Hai?“
Santa Plane Mein Air Hostess Ko Dekhe Ja Raha Thha.
Air Hostess Ki Left Breast Pe Name Plate Lagi Thhi, Aur Uspar Likha Tha, Teena.
Santa Ne Ye Dekh Kar Air Hostess Se Pucha.
Santa: “Waah Ji Bahut Badiya Naam Rakha Hai, Dosre Wale Ka Kya Hai?“
13.
Ek Baar Ek Aaurat Apni Dono Taangey Khol Kar Sante Ke Samne Late Gai Or Sante Se Boli: “Kya Tum Jante Ho Ke Iska Matlab Kya Hai?” Santa Ne Kaha: “Haan Janta Hu Iska Matlab, Tu Saali Poorey Bed Par Akeli Sona Chahti Hai“.
Ek Baar Ek Aaurat Apni Dono Taangey Khol Kar Sante Ke Samne Late Gai Or Sante Se Boli: “Kya Tum Jante Ho Ke Iska Matlab Kya Hai?” Santa Ne Kaha: “Haan Janta Hu Iska Matlab, Tu Saali Poorey Bed Par Akeli Sona Chahti Hai“.
14.
Class Mein Teacher Bachho Se Puchti Hai Teacher: “Agar Sincerely Ki Jaye To Is Duniya Mein Sabse Mushkil Job Kiski Hai?” Pappu: “Madam Ji, Blue Film Ke Cameraman Ki“
Class Mein Teacher Bachho Se Puchti Hai Teacher: “Agar Sincerely Ki Jaye To Is Duniya Mein Sabse Mushkil Job Kiski Hai?” Pappu: “Madam Ji, Blue Film Ke Cameraman Ki“
15.
Santa In Kaun Banega Carorpati Amitab Bhachan: “”Sardar Ji What Is The Colour Of Your Wife’s Bra” A: White B: Black C: Red D: Pink Santa: “Can I Call A Friend?“
Santa In Kaun Banega Carorpati Amitab Bhachan: “”Sardar Ji What Is The Colour Of Your Wife’s Bra” A: White B: Black C: Red D: Pink Santa: “Can I Call A Friend?“
16.
Pappu Vella Betha Kuch Na Kuch Schemes Hi Sohta Rahta Thha Ese Hi Ek Din Usne Phone Uthaya Aur Ek Ladki Ka Number Dial Kiya Ladki Ne Jaisi Hi Phone Uthaya, Pappu Bola Pappu: “Munna Hai?” Ladki Boli: “Nahi Hai” Pappu: “Mujh Se Chudva Le Ho Jayega“
Pappu Vella Betha Kuch Na Kuch Schemes Hi Sohta Rahta Thha Ese Hi Ek Din Usne Phone Uthaya Aur Ek Ladki Ka Number Dial Kiya Ladki Ne Jaisi Hi Phone Uthaya, Pappu Bola Pappu: “Munna Hai?” Ladki Boli: “Nahi Hai” Pappu: “Mujh Se Chudva Le Ho Jayega“
17.
Santa Biwi Ke Saath Sex Karne Ka Mood Bana Raha Tha To Light Chali Gayi Santa: “Uff, Aaj Ye Condom Itna Tight Aur Chota Kaisi Ho Gaya Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Arrey Ye Condom Nahi Hai, Bache Ki Doodh Ki Bottle Ka Nipple Hai“
Santa Biwi Ke Saath Sex Karne Ka Mood Bana Raha Tha To Light Chali Gayi Santa: “Uff, Aaj Ye Condom Itna Tight Aur Chota Kaisi Ho Gaya Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Arrey Ye Condom Nahi Hai, Bache Ki Doodh Ki Bottle Ka Nipple Hai“
18.
3rd Class Mein Teacher Ne Pappu Ko Bola Teacher: “ABCD Likho” Pappu Ne Likh Di A E G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Teacher Ne Pada Aur Hairani Se Boli: “Arey Isme BFCD Kaha Hai?” Pappu Muskurate Hue Bola: “Mam Mere Bag Mein Hai, Aapko Dekhni Hai To Bata Dena.“
3rd Class Mein Teacher Ne Pappu Ko Bola Teacher: “ABCD Likho” Pappu Ne Likh Di A E G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Teacher Ne Pada Aur Hairani Se Boli: “Arey Isme BFCD Kaha Hai?” Pappu Muskurate Hue Bola: “Mam Mere Bag Mein Hai, Aapko Dekhni Hai To Bata Dena.“
19.
Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya Doctor: “Arrey Waah, Tum Duniya Ke Pehle Aadmi Ho Jo Pregnent Ho” Santa Rote Hue: “Hey Bhagwan! Main Logo Ko Kya Munh Dikhaunga? Meri To Abhi Shadi Bhi Nahi Hu.“
Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya Doctor: “Arrey Waah, Tum Duniya Ke Pehle Aadmi Ho Jo Pregnent Ho” Santa Rote Hue: “Hey Bhagwan! Main Logo Ko Kya Munh Dikhaunga? Meri To Abhi Shadi Bhi Nahi Hu.“
20.
भरी बस में एक लड़की के पीछे खड़े लड़के का खड़ा औजार लड़की को छू रहा था। लड़की ने उस लड़के को ज़ोर से थप्पड़ मारा और कहा, कमीने खुद को खड़े होने की जगह नहीं, तूने इसको भी खड़ा कर रखा है
भरी बस में एक लड़की के पीछे खड़े लड़के का खड़ा औजार लड़की को छू रहा था। लड़की ने उस लड़के को ज़ोर से थप्पड़ मारा और कहा, कमीने खुद को खड़े होने की जगह नहीं, तूने इसको भी खड़ा कर रखा है
21.
Ek Baar Santa Or Uski Wife Mein Jhagda Ho Gaya.
Santa Apni Wife Se Jhagda Karte Hue Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Mera Dil Chahta Hai, Ke Mein Tera Khoon Pee Jao.” Wife: “Toh Pehle Batana Tha Na, Ab To Periods Bhi Khatam Ho Gaye Hai.“
Ek Baar Santa Or Uski Wife Mein Jhagda Ho Gaya.
Santa Apni Wife Se Jhagda Karte Hue Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Mera Dil Chahta Hai, Ke Mein Tera Khoon Pee Jao.” Wife: “Toh Pehle Batana Tha Na, Ab To Periods Bhi Khatam Ho Gaye Hai.“
22.
Santa Ki Shadi Hui Par Suhagrat Mein Kya Krna Hote Hai Ye Usko Pata Nahi Thha.
Vo Apne Daddy Ke Pass Jaata Aur Puchta Hai Ki Kya Karu Daddy: “Rat Ko Mujhe Phone Kriyo Aur Jaise Main Kahoon Vaise Hi Kriyo.” Raat Ke 1.30 Baje Daddy Ko Phone Ata Hai.
Santa: “Daddy Batao Kya Karna Hai?” Daddy: “Dulhan Ke Aur Apne Kapde Utar.” Santa: “Fir?” Daddy: “Dulhan Ki Taango K Beech Me Ched (Hole) Dikh Raha Hoga Tujhe?” Santa: “Hanji Daddy Dikh Raha Hai” Daddy: “Ab Jo Mere Paas Bhi Hai Aur Tere Paas Bhi Hai Vo Us Ched Mein Daal De” Santa Ne Apna Mobile Hi Patni Ki Choot Mein Daal Diya
Santa Ki Shadi Hui Par Suhagrat Mein Kya Krna Hote Hai Ye Usko Pata Nahi Thha.
Vo Apne Daddy Ke Pass Jaata Aur Puchta Hai Ki Kya Karu Daddy: “Rat Ko Mujhe Phone Kriyo Aur Jaise Main Kahoon Vaise Hi Kriyo.” Raat Ke 1.30 Baje Daddy Ko Phone Ata Hai.
Santa: “Daddy Batao Kya Karna Hai?” Daddy: “Dulhan Ke Aur Apne Kapde Utar.” Santa: “Fir?” Daddy: “Dulhan Ki Taango K Beech Me Ched (Hole) Dikh Raha Hoga Tujhe?” Santa: “Hanji Daddy Dikh Raha Hai” Daddy: “Ab Jo Mere Paas Bhi Hai Aur Tere Paas Bhi Hai Vo Us Ched Mein Daal De” Santa Ne Apna Mobile Hi Patni Ki Choot Mein Daal Diya
23.
Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The“
Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The“
24.
Class Me Baithi Ladki Ki Bra Ka Hook “Tak” Ki Awaj Ke Sath Tut Gaya.
Teacher Ne Pucha: “Arey Kya Hua?, Ye Awaaj Kaisi Thi?” Ladki Ke Piche Baitha Pappu Ek Dum Se Bola “Madam, Do Panchi Pinjra Todkar Azad Ho Gaye, Pakad Lu Kya?”
Class Me Baithi Ladki Ki Bra Ka Hook “Tak” Ki Awaj Ke Sath Tut Gaya.
Teacher Ne Pucha: “Arey Kya Hua?, Ye Awaaj Kaisi Thi?” Ladki Ke Piche Baitha Pappu Ek Dum Se Bola “Madam, Do Panchi Pinjra Todkar Azad Ho Gaye, Pakad Lu Kya?”
25.
Ek Sardar Ji Doctor Ke Paas Gaye Aur Bole “Doctor Sahab Kamjori Badi Haigi Hai” Doctor: “Doodh Daba Ke Piya Kar Kamjori Door Ho Jayegi” Sardar: “Doctor Saab Doodh Te Mein Bada Peenda Haan Par Oh Jyada Dabaan Nahi Dendi“
Ek Sardar Ji Doctor Ke Paas Gaye Aur Bole “Doctor Sahab Kamjori Badi Haigi Hai” Doctor: “Doodh Daba Ke Piya Kar Kamjori Door Ho Jayegi” Sardar: “Doctor Saab Doodh Te Mein Bada Peenda Haan Par Oh Jyada Dabaan Nahi Dendi“
26.
Santa Bechare Ko Loose Motions Lage Hue Thhe, Aur Vo Bada Pareshan Thha Jaisi Taise Karke Vo Ek Doctor Ke Pass Gaya.
Ab Problem Ye Thhi Ki Vo Doctor Ko Bataye Kaisi, Itne Mein Uski Baari Aa Gayi Doctor: “What Is Your Problem?” Santa Kuch Sochte Hue: “Free Outgoing With Variety Of Ring Tones“
Santa Bechare Ko Loose Motions Lage Hue Thhe, Aur Vo Bada Pareshan Thha Jaisi Taise Karke Vo Ek Doctor Ke Pass Gaya.
Ab Problem Ye Thhi Ki Vo Doctor Ko Bataye Kaisi, Itne Mein Uski Baari Aa Gayi Doctor: “What Is Your Problem?” Santa Kuch Sochte Hue: “Free Outgoing With Variety Of Ring Tones“
27.
सरदार का प्रमोशन इनस्पेक्टर से DSP हो गया.
जिससे वो बड़ा खुश था। उसने अपनी ख़ुशी को घर आकर वाइफ को ऐसे अंदाज़ में बताया..
कि वाइफ बेहोश हो गई..? सरदार बोला : आज से तू DSP के साथ सोएगी…
सरदार का प्रमोशन इनस्पेक्टर से DSP हो गया.
जिससे वो बड़ा खुश था। उसने अपनी ख़ुशी को घर आकर वाइफ को ऐसे अंदाज़ में बताया..
कि वाइफ बेहोश हो गई..? सरदार बोला : आज से तू DSP के साथ सोएगी…
28.
Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai, Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?” Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“
Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai, Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?” Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“
29.
Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun” Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“
Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun” Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“
30.
Santa Ek Bar Interview Dene Gaya Boss: “What’s Your Wife Name?” Santa: “Sir, Preeto” Boss: “What’s Her Whole Name?” Santa Sochte Hue: “Sir, Hole Ka Naam To Rakha Nahi, Par Main Pyar Se Fuddi Kehta Hoon“
Santa Ek Bar Interview Dene Gaya Boss: “What’s Your Wife Name?” Santa: “Sir, Preeto” Boss: “What’s Her Whole Name?” Santa Sochte Hue: “Sir, Hole Ka Naam To Rakha Nahi, Par Main Pyar Se Fuddi Kehta Hoon“
Tags:
Daily Hindi Jokes