😍 Dil Jeet Lene Wale Romantic + Funny Jokes – 09

1.



Santa Sochte Hue Banta Se Bolta Hai: “Yaar Ye Ladkiyan Kitni Chalak Hoti Hain” Banta Puchta Hai: “Kyun??” Santa: “Yaar Ladkiyan Apna 18 Rupye Litre Wala Doodh Dikha Kar, Humara 180 Rupye Litre Wala Ghee Nikal Leti Hai.

2.



Ek Baar Santa Bike Rok Kar Helmet Khuja Raha Tha.
Ek Aadmi Ne Dekha Aur Hairan Hokar Puucha.
Aadmi: “Helmet Utaar Ke Khujao” Santa: “Chup Be, Jab Teri Gand Pe Khujli Hoti Hai To Kya Pent Utaar Ke Khujata Hai“

3.



Santa Wife Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Thha Sex Ke Baad Wife Ko Geela Geela Sa Laga To Patni Ne Pucha Patni: “Oye, Condom Kyu Nahi Lagaya?” Santa: “Yaar Condoms Ke Pack Pe Likha Thha, Don’t Use If Seal Is Broken“

4.



Banta Ek Baar Beemar Hua To Santa Uska Pata Lene Gaya Dekha Banta Bed Pe Leta Hua Thha Aur Halat Thik Nahi Thhi Santa: “Yaar Sharam Ki Baat Hai, Tera Daddy Dr.
Hai Fir Bhi Tu Beemar Ho Gaya” Banta Ye Baat Sunkar Gusse Mein Aa Gaya Aur Bola Banta: “Bhonsdi Ke, Tere Baap Ki Bhi Condom Ki Factory Hai, Aur Tu Phir Bhi Paida Ho Gaya“

5.



Santa Apni Suhaag Raat Mein Apni Biwi Preeto Ki Chut Mein Ungli Daalta Hai.
Preeto Gusse Se Bhadakti Hue Boli “Abe Oye, Mere Paas Khud Ki 10 Ungliyan Hai, Maine Ungli Dalwaane Ke Liye Shaadi Nahi Ki Hai.”

6.



भरी बस में एक लड़की के पीछे खड़े
लड़के का खड़ा औजार लड़की को छू रहा था।
लड़की ने उस लड़के को ज़ोर से थप्पड़ मारा और कहा,
कमीने खुद को खड़े होने की जगह नहीं,
तूने इसको भी खड़ा कर रखा है

7.



Koi bhi kunwari ladki savecha se apni choot nahi deti, usko majbur kar diya jata hai, chahe pyar ka natak karke karo ya usko koi aur lalach dekar.
Aurto ke liye Baba Saxidas ji ka ek mahan naara:
“Tum mujhe choot do, main tumhe bacha dunga, par hairani is baat ki hai, India ki aurate fir bhi jagruk nahi hai aur bache ke liye tadpati hai.”

8.



Pappu Jab Chota Thha To, Kisi Baat Pe Ghar Se Maar Khakar Gusse Mein School Ja Raha Tha Raste Mein Ek Aadmi Ne Pucha: “Beta Padhne Ja Rahe Ho?” Pappu Gusse Se: “Jab Aap Chhote Thhe To School Dress Mein Kya Gaand Marvane Jaate The?“

9.



Santa Office Se Ghar Aya To Dekha Ki Uski Biwi Ek Bikhari Ke Saath Sex Kar Rahi Hai Santa Gusse Mein Aake Bola: “Badchalan Ye Kya Ka Rahi Hai?” Biwi Masumiyat Se: “Main Kya Karti Ji, Is Bechare Fakeer Ne Kaha, Bibi Ji Koi Esi Cheez De Do Jo Sahab Istemaal (Use) Nahi Karte“

10.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

11.



Pappu Se Uski Girlfriend Ne Masti Ke Mood Mein Puchha.
Ladki: “Sex Ke Pehle Chut Kaisi Dikhti Hai?” Pappu: “Jaise Gulaab” Ladki: “Aur Sex Ke Baad?” Pappu: “Sardar Ji Ke Muh Ki Tarha Jisne Thodi Der Pehle Lassi Pi Ho“

12.



Santa Ne Apna Underwear Dhoya Aur Chatt Pe Gaya Sath Wali Padosan Ki Panty Sukh Rahi Thhi Usne Uske Saath Apna Underwear Taanga Uspar Ek Note Likh Diya Aur Khud Chala Gaya “Babhi Please Mera Underwear Bhi Utar Lena Jab Aap Apni Panty Utaaro“

13.



Pappu = Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi.
Jeeto = Ye to achchi baat hai.
Pappu = Papa to chup the, unki secretary chilla rahi thi ‘O God…O God’…

14.



Ek Baar Pappu Ki Kisi Baat Pe Apni Girlfriend Se Ladayi Ho Gayi.
Dono Mein Ladayi Karte Karte Baat Yaha Tak Aa Gayi Ki Breakup Ki naubat Aa Gayi.
Ladki Ne Gusse Mein Aake Pappu Ko Bhadva Kah Diya Tab Pappu Ko Gussa Aya Aur Vo Apni Girlfriend Ko Bola Pappu: “Sali Kuttiya Randi, Apne Lund Pe Ghungroo Bandh Ke Tujko Aise Chodunga Ki Tere Baap Aur Mohalle Walo Ko Lagega Ki Kirtan Ho Raha Hai“

15.



Santa Fixed His Marriage On 2nd March.
He Sent Invitation To His Friends: “Marriage Is On March 2nd But Please Come On 1st Night We All Will Enjoy.“

16.



Santa Ko Natak Mein Arjun Ka Role Mila, Jab Natak Shuru Hua To Santa Arjun Ke Roop Mein Aaya, Logo Ne Shor Kiya: “Pagdi Wala Arjun…….Pagdi Wala Arjun” Santa Bola: “Bhosdi Walo, Abhi Do Minute Pehle Lund Wali Dropadi Aayi Thi, Tab Saare So Rahe The Kya?“

17.



Santa Lucknow Ke Kothe Pe Gaya Aur Aunty Se Bola Santa: “Mujhe Rita Se Milna Hai.” Aunty: “Woh 1 Baar Ka 1000 Rs Leti Hai” Santa: “Koi Baat Nahi Ji, Main De Dunga” Santa Rita Ko Chod Ke 1000 De Deta Hai.
Next Day Fir Rita Ko Chod Ke 1000 De Deta Hai.
3rd Day Fir Rita Ko Chod Ke 1000 De Deta Hai.
Jab Vo Jaane Lagta Hai To Rita Puchti Hai Rite: “Tum Mujhe Bahut Achhe Lage, Paisi Ke Liye Koi Mol Bhav Nahi Kiya, Kaha Se Aaye Ho?” Santa: “Ji, Punjab Ludhiana Se” Rita: “Ohh Waha To Meri Cousin (Bhua Ki Ladki) Bhi Rahti Hai” Santa: “Haan, Usi Ne To Mujhe 3000 Rs Diye Thhe Aur Kaha Tha Ki Tumhe De Du, Tumhe Chahiye Honge“

18.



Santa Apne Dost Se: “Aaj Ghar Jate Hi Biwi Ki Chaddi Utarunga.” Dost: “Aaj Bade Mood Mein Lagte Ho?” Santa : “Ghanta Bhenchod, Bahut Tight Hai Yaar, Subah Galti Se Biwi Ki Pehan Li Thi.”

19.



Santa Ek Din Raat Ko Sharab Pee Ke Ghar Aya Uska Mood Sex Ka Bana To Biwi Ko Palang Pe Litaya Aur Kapde Utar Ke Shuru Ho Gaya Thodi Der Baad Usko Uske Jism Se Ched Chad Karne Ke Baad Bola Santa: “Janu, Aaj Tumhare Boobs Bade Bade Kaisi Ho Gaye Hai?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Oye Nahi Ji, Boobs To Utne Hi Hai, Par Aap Sharab Ke Nashe Mein Meri Gaand Choos Rahe Ho“

20.



Santa Bechare Ko Loose Motions Lage Hue Thhe, Aur Vo Bada Pareshan Thha Jaisi Taise Karke Vo Ek Doctor Ke Pass Gaya.
Ab Problem Ye Thhi Ki Vo Doctor Ko Bataye Kaisi, Itne Mein Uski Baari Aa Gayi Doctor: “What Is Your Problem?” Santa Kuch Sochte Hue: “Free Outgoing With Variety Of Ring Tones“

21.



Ek Bar Rat Ko Santa Apni Biwi Ke Sath Sex Karne Laga To Biwi Boli: “Please Aaj Rehne Do, Mera Upwas Hai..” Santa Gusse Mein Aakar Bola: “Bhenchod Mere Lund Pe Kyaa Aata Laga Hai, Jo Tera Upwas Toot Jayegaa”

22.



Pappu Ne Gali Mein Jati Hui Ladki Ko Ungli Kardi.
Ladki: “Andha Hai Kya, Dikhta Nahi Hai” Pappu: “Kyu Kya Hua, Sahi Jagah Nahi Gusi Kya?“

23.



Pappu: “Mom, Aap Blouse Mein Paise Kyun Rakhti Ho?” Mom: “Taaki Tere Papa Ko Pata Na Chale” Pappu: “Mom Aap Bhi Na, Bechare Papa Roz Kaamwali Ke Blouse Mein Dhoondte Rahte Hai“

24.



After Sex Girl Apne Boyfriend Pappu Se Puchti Hai.
Girl: “Jaanu Tum Mujhse Shaadi Kab Karoge?” Pappu: “Darling, Do Idli Aur Ek Medu Wada Ke Liye, Koi Pura Hotel Kharidta Hai Kya?“

25.



Kutta Kutti Ko Sadak Par Chod Raha Tha Ek Sardarni Ne Dekha To Uska Bhi Mann Karne Laga Sardarni Ne Sardar Ko Bade Romantic Mood Mein Kaha: “Aji Suno, Aap Bhi Aisi Karo Na” Sardar Bola: “Main To Tyaar Hun Tum Kutti Se Pooch Lo Kahi Use Na Koi Aitraz Ho“

26.



Santa Ne Ek Din Apni Patni Se Bade Pyar Se Puchha Santa: “Darling, Tumhara Kabhi Dil Nahi Chahta Ke Tum Mard Hoti” Patni Ne Bhi Bada Pyara Jawab Diya Patni: “Kyun Aaj Tumhara Gand Marvane Ka Mann Kar Raha Hai Kya?“

27.



Santa Murga Kharidne Gaya Santa: “Murge Kitne Rs Ke Hai?” Murgewala: “70, 50 Aur 10 Rs Ka” Santa: “10 Rs Ka Itna Sasta Kyu?” Murgewala: “Isko Aids Hai” Santa: “Yehi De De, Maine Khana Hi Hai Kaunsa Gaand Maarni Hai“

28.



Santa Ki Biwi Pregnant Thi Aur Vo Uske Saath Sex Nahi Kar Sakta Tha Ek Din Santa Ghar Aa Kar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Mujhe Tharak Bahut Chadd Rahi Thhi, Banta Ki Biwi Ko 100 Rs.
Diye Aur Chod Kar Aa Raha Hoon” Santa Ki Biwi Boli: “Tum Na Bikul Bevkoof Ho, Lutt Ke Aa Gaye… Banta To Yaha 50 Rs.
Mein Karke Jata Hai.
“

29.



Define A Ture Harami? A Harami Is Someone Who Visits A Medical Store, Instead Of An Ice Cream Parlour When His Girlfriend Says: “I Love Strawberry Flavor“

30.



Santa Suhag Raat Ko Sex Karte Hue Biwi Se Bola: “Teri Choot Badi Loose Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Jaldi Apna Lund Bahar Nikal, Aur Mera Cash, Car, LCD, AC and Jewellery Vapis Kar” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye Bola: “Janu Main To Majak Kar Raha Thha, Mera Lund Hi Patla Aur Chota Hai“