😂 TV Se Bhi Zyada Entertaining Hain Ye Jokes – 08

1.



Santa Ko Ek Baar Talibano Ne Pakad Liya Aur Kaid Kar Liya Unka Leader Aya Aur Santa Ke Gale Pe Talwar Rakh Ke Bola Leader: “Oye, Ya To Islaam Kabool Karo, Nahi To Gala Kaat Diya Jayega” Santa Rote Hue: “Yaar, Kesa Ajeeb Dharam Hai Tumhara, Kabool Karo To Lulli Kaat Dete Ho, Na Karo To Gardan“

2.



Ek Raat Santa Station Jane Ke Liye Taxi Rukwata Hai.
Taxi Wale Ko Talwar Ke Dam Par Bahar Nikalta Hai Aur Kehta Hai Santa: “Chal Apni Pant Khol Aur Mutthh Maar” Taxi Wala Ghabra Kar Apni Muth Marne Lagta Hai Santa: “Phir Ek Baar Maar” Taxi Wala Fir Marne Lag Jata Hai Santa: “Ek Baar Aur” Santa Aise Hi 5 – 6 Baar Aur Karwata Hai Taxiwala Rote Hue: “Sardarji Itni Muth Maar Li Hai Ab To Mera Khda Bhi Nahi Ho Raha” Santa Apni Bahen Ko Andar Se Bulata Hai Aur Taxiwale Ko Bolta Hai Santa: “Jaa Ab Meri Bahen Ko Railway Station Chhod Aa“

3.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

4.



Santa Ka Juta Fat Gaya, Usne Juta Mochi Ko Diya Aur Kaha, Santa: “Jute Ko Aisa Silna, Aisa Chamkana Ke Shakal Nazar Aaye” Mochi Ne Jute Ko Sil Kar Usme Shisha Fit Kar Diya Santa Khush Ho Gaya Aur Apni Shop Par Gaya,Uski Shop Par Ek Modern Ladki Aayi Santa Ne Juta Uski Tangon Ke Niche Kiya Aur Bola Santa: “Apne Blue Panty Paheni Hai Na” Ladki Hairan, Agle Din Wo Red Panty Pahen Kar Aayi, Santa Ne Phir Use Bola, Santa: “Apne Red Panty Paheni Hai Na” Teesre Din Wo Panty Pehan Kar Hi Nahi Aayi.
Jaise Hi Santa Ne Juta Age Kiya To Bola Santa: “Oohhhh, Bhenchod Juta Fir Se Fat Gaya“

5.



Aajkal ke time mein ladkiyan bewafa kyu hoti hain, aur biwiyan apne mard ko chhod kar doosre mardon ke peeche kyu bhagti hain?
Is cheez par research karke hamare Pujniye Baba Saxidas ji ne ek slogan banaya hai:

"Rozana muth marne se parhez kijiye,
Yaad rakhein ke lund jaandar to mard shaandar."

6.



Santa Aur Banta Bethe Baat Kar Rahe Thhe Santa: “Yaar Jab Tu Paida Ho Raha Thha To Tune Sir Pahle Nikala Ya Pair”
Banta: “Maine Pair Pahle Nikale, Aur Tune?”
Santa: “Mene To Bhai Sir Nikala Thha”
Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Purane Log Kahte Hai Kisi Ki Phati Mein Tang Nahi Adani Chahiye“

7.



Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The“

8.



Banta Ek Dukaan Par Jakar Dukandaar Se Kehta Hai: “Bhaisahab Ek Condom Dena” Dukaandar: “Wo Waha Kone Mein Ek Mej Me Chaid Hai Usme Apna Lu.Nd Daal Kar Apna Size Pata Karo Phir Tumhe Tumhare Size Ka Condom Milega” Size Check Karne Ke Baad Banta: “Bhaisahab Condom Rehne Do Ye Batao Ki Ye Mej Kitne Ki Hai“

9.



Santa Ki Wife TV Dekh Rahi Hoti Hai Toh Santa Usko Kehta Hai.
Santa: “Kya Din Raat Cooking Show Dekhti Rehti Hai?” Wife: “Aap Chup Hi Raho To Achha Hoga, Aapko Kya” Santa: “Arrey, Fir Bhi Tujhe Khana Banana Toh Aata Hi Nahi Hai” Wife: “Aur Aap Bhi Toh Din Raat Blue Film Dekhte Rehte Ho, Maine Kuch Kaha?“

10.



Pappu Ke Dost Golu Ne Ek Din Us Se Puchha Golu: “Yaar Ek Baat To Bata, Ye School Male Hota Hai Ya Female?” Pappu Kuch Soch Kar Bola: “Yaar Ye To Mujhe Khud Aaj Tak Nahi Samajh Aaya, Kyunki Ismein Ghanta Bhi Hota Hai Aur Periods Bhi“

11.



Santa Ke Daddy Ji Ke Kisse Pad Ke Aapko Pata Chal Jayega Ki Hamare Bechare Santa Ka Koi Dosh Nahi Hai Jo Vo Esi Harkate Karta Hai.
Jaisa Baap Vesa Beta To Hoga Hi Na Ek Din Santa Ne Bade Dukhi Mann Se Apne Baap Ko Dukhda Sunaya.
Santa: “Papa, Mene Biwi Ko S.M.S Kiya Ke Main Aaj Raat Ko Ghar Pahunch Jaunga” Ghanta Singh: “Firr??” Santa: “Main Ghar Aaya To Wo Kisi Aur Ke Sath Bister Pe Thi” Ghanta Singh Kuch Sochte Hue: “Beta, Dil Chhota Na Kar Sms Nahi Mila Hoga“

12.



Santa Apne Tote Se Puchta Hai.
Santa: “Mitthu Bete, Jalebi Khayega?” Tota: “Apni Gaand Mein Daal Le Bhosdi Ke, Pehle Mirchi Khila-Khila Ke Bawasir Karwa Di, Ab Diabetes Bhi Lagwayega“

13.



Teacher: “Bachon Aaj Hum Grammer Padhenge, To Batao Ek Aurat Ek Khidki Se Jhank Rahi Hai, Ye Kya Hai?” Pappu: “Mam, Ye Ek Vachan Hua” Teacher: “Good, Ab Batao Ki – Bahut Si Aurtein Khidkiyon Se Jhank Rahi Hai?” Pappu Kuch Sochkar Bola: “Mam, Ye To Randi Bazar Hua“

14.



गर्ल्स हॉस्टिल की लाईट 3 दिन से बंद थी..
तंग आकर वार्डन ने डिपार्टमेंट को फोन किया और कहा..
3 दिन से लड़कियां मोमबत्ती से काम चला रही है..
आज तो आदमी भेज दो.

15.



Santa Ko Ek Din Hichki Aayi Aur Sath Mein Uska Lund Bhi Khada Ho Gaya Santa: “Arrey Wah Lagta Hai Balbir Bhai Ke Saath Babhi Bhi Yaad Kar Rahi Hai”

16.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

17.



Santa Ki Pregnent Biwi Preeto Chhat Pe Tange Khol Ke Leti Hui Thi.
Santa Ne Ye Dekha Aur Hairani Se Puchha Santa: “Yeh Kya Kar Rahi Ho?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Dr.
Ne Kaha Hai Ke Tazi Hawa Bache Ki Sehat Ke Liye Achi Hai.“

18.



Santa Apne Doodh Wale Se Ladte Hue Bola Santa: “Yaar Tum Do Din Se Doodh Dene Kyun Nahi Aa Rahe Thhe??” Doodhwala Udai Se Bola: “Sardar Ji, Aap Ki Bhabhi Ki Tabiyat Kharab Thhi, Isliye Nahi Aa Paya” Santa Kuch Soche Ke Bola: “To Koi Baat Nahi! Bhains Ka Doodh Hi Le Aate!“

19.



Sardar Ji School Mein Apne Ladke Ka Report Card Lene Jate Hai Sardar: “Madam Ji Kab Dengi Aap” Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Sardar Ji Period Khatam Hone Tak To Intezar Kar Lo Na.
Fir De Dungi“

20.



Santa Ko Bavaseer Ho Gayi, Hakim Ne Kaha Marham Lagwane Roj Aana Padega.
Hakim Ne Usko Chaar Din Marham Lagaya Aur Kaha, Hakim: “Ab Kafi Theek Ho Gayi Hai, Baqi Biwi Se Lagwa Lena” Jab Agle Din Preeto Marham Lagane Lagi To Usne Ek Haath Santa Ke Kandhe Par Rakha, Aur Dusre Se Marham Lagane Lagi To Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa: “Tera Ek Haath Kandhay Par Hai Dusra Kaha Hai?” Preeto Boli: “Us Se Marham Laga Rahi Hoon” Santa Chonk Kar Bola: “Oh, Hakim Ki Bahan Ki Choot, Uske To Dono Haath Mere Kandhe Par Hote The“

21.



डायरेक्टर: सुहागरात का सीन है,
तुम्हें हीरो को ग्लास में दूध पिलाना है।
मलिका: अगर ग्लास में ही पिलाना था
तो विद्या बालन को बुला लेते

22.



Santa Bade Pareshan Haal Mein Apne Familly Doctor Ke Pass Gaya Santa: “Dr.
Saab, Mene Hamesha Apni Biwi Se Condom Laga Ke Sex Kiya Hai Fir Bhi Uske 3 Bachhe Ho Gaye” Dr Hairan Ho Ke: “Achha?? Kamal Hai Yaar.
Vese Tum Condom Lagate Kaisi Ho” Santa: “Jitna Condom Lund Pe Chadta Hai, Utna Chada Ke Baki Ka Aage Se Kaat Deta Hun“

23.



भरी बस में एक लड़की के पीछे खड़े
लड़के का खड़ा औजार लड़की को छू रहा था।
लड़की ने उस लड़के को ज़ोर से थप्पड़ मारा और कहा,
कमीने खुद को खड़े होने की जगह नहीं,
तूने इसको भी खड़ा कर रखा है

24.



Ek Baar Santa Aur Banta Raste Par Ja Rahe The… Santa: “Yaar Main Toh Aaj Mar Gaya, Meri Patni Aur Meri Masook Dono Ek Sath Saamne Se Aa Rahi Hain” Banta: “Oye Banteya Main V Tan Ehi Kehan Wala Si…“

25.



Santa Pahli Baar Train Mein Reservation Karaane Ke Liye Gayaa Santa Ne Reservation Form Me “Ling/Sex” Wale Column Me Likh Diya “8 Inch” Aur Form Submit Kar Diya.
Booking Window Par Clerk Lady Thi, Usne Ye Dekha Aur Boli Lady Cleark: “Sir Ye Kya Hai, Isko Kaato, Ye Nahi Chalega” Santa Hairani Se: “Kitna Kaat Doon?” Lady Cleark: “Poora Hi Kaatna Padega” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye: “Madam Ji Aap Reservation Cancel Hi Kar Do, Main Bus Se Hi Chala Jaaunga.“

26.



लड़की :- मुझे बड़ी ठंड लग रही है,
मेरे दोनो हीटर को छु लो!
लड़का:- अभी भी ठंड लग रही है क्या?
लड़की:- अबे घोन्चु, नीचे प्लग तो लगा.!

27.



Banta Bhaaga-Bhaaga Santa Ke Ghar Aaya Aur Khushi Se Bola.
Banta: “Oye Santa, Aaj TV Pe Rakhi Sawant, Apne 38-Inch Ke Boobs Dikhane Wali Hai” Santa Udaas Hokar Bola: “Achha, Par Main Nahi Dekh Paunga” Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Mera TV To Sirf 21-Inch Ka Hai?“

28.



Sardar Ji, Aapko Logo Ne Kyun Maara??? Sardar: “Arey Yaar Meri Photo Bus Mein Gir Gayi Thhi, Maine Kaha Madam Zara Saari Upar Karna Maine Photo Lena Hai“

29.



Santa Ki Shadi Hui Aur Wo Bahut Dino Baad Apne Suhaagraat Waale Kamre Se Bahar Nikla, To Usske Baap Ne Us Se Pucha Baap: “Beta, Kya Baat Hai Badi Lambi Inning Khel Kar Aaya Hai?” Santa: “Maa Chuda Gayi Duniya, Pahle Ye Batao Ki Andar Tel Ki Botal Ki Jagah Fevikol Kon Rakh Kar Aaya Tha“

30.



Koi bhi kunwari ladki savecha se apni choot nahi deti, usko majbur kar diya jata hai, chahe pyar ka natak karke karo ya usko koi aur lalach dekar.
Aurto ke liye Baba Saxidas ji ka ek mahan naara:
“Tum mujhe choot do, main tumhe bacha dunga, par hairani is baat ki hai, India ki aurate fir bhi jagruk nahi hai aur bache ke liye tadpati hai.”