😁 Mobile Aur Internet Wale Jokes – Gen Z Edition – 05

1.



Santa Apni Ek College Friend Ke Sath Shopping Mall Mein Ghumne Gaya, Vahan Ladki Ko Washroom Jana Hota Hai, To Santa Ko Apna Purse Dete Hue Bolti Hai Girlfriend: “Yeh Purse Pakdo Mein Abhi Aayi” Ab Santa Hai To Akal Se Sayana Hi, Socha Ki Dekhu Ladkiya Bag Mein Kya Rakhti Hai Jaisi Hi Usne Purse Ko Khola Usmein Se Rubber Ka Lund Nikla.
Santa Ke Ye Dekh Ke Tote Udd Gaye Aur Usne Fatafatt Purse Band Kar Diya.
Ladki Washroom Se Aayi Aur Majak Majak Mein Usne Santa Ko Puchha.
Girlfriend: “Khola To Nahi?” Santa: “Na Ji Na, Purse Khol Ke Mene Apni Gaand Thodi Fadwani Hai“

2.



लड़की दूकानदार से:- CONDOM देना.
दूकानदार(मस्ती मैं):- किस लिए! लड़की (गुस्से से):- तेरे बाप को गिफ्ट करूँगी, ताकि तेरे जैसा दूसरा चुतिया पैदा ना करे

3.



Santa Banta Ek Sath Sadak Ke Ja Rahe Thhe To Santa Ne Sunder Si Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Kaha: “Wah!! What A Breast” Banta Bola: “Yaar Breast To Yaad Aya Babhi Da Ki Haai Hai?“

4.



Santa Apne Tote Se Puchta Hai.
Santa: “Mitthu Bete, Jalebi Khayega?” Tota: “Apni Gaand Mein Daal Le Bhosdi Ke, Pehle Mirchi Khila-Khila Ke Bawasir Karwa Di, Ab Diabetes Bhi Lagwayega“

5.



Santa Banta Se: “Muje Shak Hai Meri Biwi Ki Panty Tere Bedroom Mein Hai?” Banta: “Par Gadhe, Bhabhi Panty Kaha Pehnti Hai?” Santa: “Are Haan, Sorry Yaar Maine Tujhpe Vese Hi Shak Kiya“

6.



Pappu Se Uski Girlfriend Ne Masti Ke Mood Mein Puchha.
Ladki: “Sex Ke Pehle Chut Kaisi Dikhti Hai?” Pappu: “Jaise Gulaab” Ladki: “Aur Sex Ke Baad?” Pappu: “Sardar Ji Ke Muh Ki Tarha Jisne Thodi Der Pehle Lassi Pi Ho“

7.



Ek Baar Santa Or Uski Wife Mein Jhagda Ho Gaya.
Santa Apni Wife Se Jhagda Karte Hue Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Mera Dil Chahta Hai, Ke Mein Tera Khoon Pee Jao.” Wife: “Toh Pehle Batana Tha Na, Ab To Periods Bhi Khatam Ho Gaye Hai.“

8.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

9.



वासना, प्यार और शादी में क्या फ़र्क है ? संता : वासना मे पेंटी को फाड़ते हैं, प्यार मे उतारते हैं, और शादी मे धोकर सुखाकर अलमारी मे रखते हैं.

10.



Santa Enters Home From Work And Seeing Preeto Is Sitting On Sofa In Skirt Not Wearing Panty She Spreads Her Legs.
Santa Stares At The Spot.
Preeto Smiles: “Aise Kya Dekh Rahe Ho, Panty Nahi Pehni Hoon.” Santa: “Ohh Tune To Daraa Hi Diya, Mujhe Laga Sofa Phat Gaya Hai“

11.



Santa Wife Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Thha Sex Ke Baad Wife Ko Geela Geela Sa Laga To Patni Ne Pucha Patni: “Oye, Condom Kyu Nahi Lagaya?” Santa: “Yaar Condoms Ke Pack Pe Likha Thha, Don’t Use If Seal Is Broken“

12.



Santa Chemist Shop Pe Gaya Aur Bola: “Bhai Sahib Ek Condom Dena Mujhe Meri Girlfriend Ko Gift Dena Hai” Shopkeeper: “Ispar Cover Chada Doon Kya?” Santa: “Oye Nahi Gadhe Ye Hi To Cover Hai Gift To Mere Pass Hai“

13.



Santa Ko Ek Din Hichki Aayi Aur Sath Mein Uska Lund Bhi Khada Ho Gaya Santa: “Arrey Wah Lagta Hai Balbir Bhai Ke Saath Babhi Bhi Yaad Kar Rahi Hai”

14.



Santa Fixed His Marriage On 2nd March.
He Sent Invitation To His Friends: “Marriage Is On March 2nd But Please Come On 1st Night We All Will Enjoy.“

15.



Santa Banta Park Mein Sair Kar Rahe The, Ek Premi Jode Ko Pyar Karte Dekh Banta Ne Santa Se Puchha.
Banta: “Vasna, Pyar Aur Shadi In Teenon Mein Kya Antar Hai?” Santa: “Sirf Panty Ka Antar Hai” Banta: “Wo Kaise?” Santa: “Vasna Mein Panty Ko Fadte Hai, Pyar Mein Utarte Hai Aur Shadi Mein Dhote Hai“

16.



Santa Ko Uske Ek Dost Ne Bataya Ki Sex Karne Ke Baad 72 Gante Ke Ander Ipill Kha Li Jaye To Bachha Nahi Hota.
Santa Ne Yahi Tarika Apnaya Aur Uski Biwi Pregnant Ho Gayi.
Santa Rota Hua Apne Dsot Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola Santa: “Sale Kutte Kameene Mujhe Marva Diya, Tune To Kaha Tha Ki Bachha Nahi Hoga” Dost Hairan Hua: “Yaar Impossible Hai, Esa Nahi Ho Sakta” Santa: “Abe Ho Gaya Na, Tune To 72 Gante Kaha Thha, Mene To Sax Ke 3 Gante Ke Baad Hi Ipill Kha Li Thhi, Fir Bhi Pata Nahi Kaisi Ho Gaya“

17.



Santa Subah Subha Doctor Ke Paas Jata Hai Aur Rote Hue Bolta Hai.
Santa: “Dr, Saab Badi Tension Hai, Kal Raat Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kiya Thha Aur Aaj Peshab Hi Nahi Aa Raha Hai” Doctor Ne Check Kiya Aur Gusse Se Bola Doctor: “Bhosdi Ke Pehle Lund Pe Se Condom To Utar Le“

18.



Santa Ko Apne Achhe Kam Ki Vajah Se Company Mein Pramotion Mili Aur Vo Manager Ban Gaya.
Usne Apni Patni Ko Ye Good News Is Tarike Se Sunayi Santa: “Darling, Sunti Ho Aaj Raat Ko Tum Company Ke Manager Ke Saath Soyegi” Biwi Khushi Ke Mare Uchhal Padi Aur Boli Biwi: “Sachiiiii, Ye To Batao, Sharma Sir Ke Saath Ya Patel Sir Ke Saath“

19.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

20.



एक आदमी लेडिस टॉयलेट मैं घुसा गया तो एक औरत बोली -ये महिलाओं के लिए है तब वो आदमी हँसा और अपनी पेंट की ज़िप खोलकर बोला -ये कोनसा गरम मसाला कूटने के लिए है ये भी तो महिलाओ के लिए ही है

21.



Kutta Kutti Ko Sadak Par Chod Raha Tha Ek Sardarni Ne Dekha To Uska Bhi Mann Karne Laga Sardarni Ne Sardar Ko Bade Romantic Mood Mein Kaha: “Aji Suno, Aap Bhi Aisi Karo Na” Sardar Bola: “Main To Tyaar Hun Tum Kutti Se Pooch Lo Kahi Use Na Koi Aitraz Ho“

22.



Ek Ladki Ke T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha Amul – The Taste Of India.
Use Dekh Kar Santa Bahut Khush Hua, Aur Apni Pent Pe Likhva Liya Kurkure – Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai.

23.



Doctor Returns To His Clinic After A Day Off And Asks His Assistant Santa About His Patients.
Santa: “1st Patient Came With Headache.
I Gave Him Saridon.” Doctor: “Good Job.” Santa: “2nd With Running Nose And I Gave Him Coldarin.” Doctor: “Good Job Again!” Santa: “3rd Patient Was A Lady.
She Took-Off Her Clothes On The Bed, Opened Her Legs And Said, “help Me, I Have Not Seen A Man For Last 5 Months”.
Surprised Doctor: “What Did You Do Then?” Santa: “I Put Ciplox Eye Drops In Her Eyes”

24.



Santa Apne Padosi Ke Ghar Mithayi Ka Dibba Lekkar Jata Hai.
Santa: “Le Mithayi Kha, Meri Biwi Ko Call-Center Mein Promotion Mil Gayi Hai” Padosi: “Arrey Wah, To Ab Vo Kya Ban Gayi Hai?” Santa: “Wahan Ki Best Call-Girl“

25.



Ek Raat Santa Station Jane Ke Liye Taxi Rukwata Hai.
Taxi Wale Ko Talwar Ke Dam Par Bahar Nikalta Hai Aur Kehta Hai Santa: “Chal Apni Pant Khol Aur Mutthh Maar” Taxi Wala Ghabra Kar Apni Muth Marne Lagta Hai Santa: “Phir Ek Baar Maar” Taxi Wala Fir Marne Lag Jata Hai Santa: “Ek Baar Aur” Santa Aise Hi 5 – 6 Baar Aur Karwata Hai Taxiwala Rote Hue: “Sardarji Itni Muth Maar Li Hai Ab To Mera Khda Bhi Nahi Ho Raha” Santa Apni Bahen Ko Andar Se Bulata Hai Aur Taxiwale Ko Bolta Hai Santa: “Jaa Ab Meri Bahen Ko Railway Station Chhod Aa“

26.



Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“

27.



Preeto Ne Apni Gand Pe Tattoo Banvaya, Shera Di Gaddi.
Santa Ne Jab Ye Dekha To Gusse Mein Aakar Us Tattoo Wale Ke Paas Gaya, Aur Apna Lund Nikal Ke Usko Bola Santa: “Bhenchod Ab Ispe Likh Shera“

28.



Santa Ek Din Bada Confuse Sa Thha Aur Usne Banta Se Pucha Santa: “Yaar Teri Biwi Chalu Hai, Mujhe Hamesha Dekh Ke Muskurati Rahti Hai?” Banta: “Oye Nahi Yaar Esa Kuch Nahi Hai, Usne Mujhse Suhagraat Pe Puchha Tha, Kya Mene Kabhi Kisi Ki Gaand Mari Hai, To Maine Tera Naam Le Diya Tha“

29.



Santa Apni Biwi Preeto Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Thha, Par Usko Thoda Sa Tight Feel Hua.
To Usne Dimag Lagaya Aur Sath Mein Pade Glass Mein Se Doodh Liya Aur Lund Pe Laga Ke Chodna Shuru Kar Diya.
Aisa Karne Se Usko Itna Maja Aaya Ki Vo Roj Roj Yahi Karne Lag Gaya.
9 Mahine Bad Biwi Jab Pregnant Hui To Hospital Mein Admit Karvaya.
Jaisi Hi Doctor Operation Theater Se Bahar Nikla To Santa Ne Us Se Pucha.
Santa: “Dr Saab, Kya Hua Baby Ya Baba?” Doctor Huste Hue: “No Baby Or No Baba, Only 1kg Paneer Nikla Hai, Yahi Khana Hai Ya Pack Kar Du“

30.



Pappu Ne Collage Mein Aayi Ek Nayi Ladki Se Puchha Pappu: “Kya Mein Apke Boobs Ka Doodh Pee Sakta Hoon” Ladki Hairan Hokar: “Arrey, Main To Aapko Janti Bhi Nahi?” Pappu: “Bilkul, Par Meri Maa Hamesha Kehti Hai Ke Shubh Kaam Karne Se Pehle Ladki Ka Doodh Pee Lena Chahiye” Ladki Ne Taras Kha Ke Bola: “Ye Lo Pee Lo, Vese Kya Shubh Kaam Karne Jaa Rahe The” Pappu: “Mein Aapko Chodne Ki Soch Raha Thha“