🤣 Pati Patni Ki Comedy – Desi Style Jokes Collection – 03

1.



Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“

2.



Santa Enters Home From Work And Seeing Preeto Is Sitting On Sofa In Skirt Not Wearing Panty She Spreads Her Legs.
Santa Stares At The Spot.
Preeto Smiles: “Aise Kya Dekh Rahe Ho, Panty Nahi Pehni Hoon.” Santa: “Ohh Tune To Daraa Hi Diya, Mujhe Laga Sofa Phat Gaya Hai“

3.



Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The“

4.



Santa Aur Uska Freind Apas Mein Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe Santa: “Oye, Tujhe Pata Hai Kal Raat Mene Party Mein Ek Ladki Ko Rape Hone Se Bachaya.” Dost Hairani Se: “Sachh Mein, Wah Bhai Wah Par Kaise?” Santa: “Self Control, Yaar Self Control“

5.



Santa Pahli Baar Train Mein Reservation Karaane Ke Liye Gayaa Santa Ne Reservation Form Me “Ling/Sex” Wale Column Me Likh Diya “8 Inch” Aur Form Submit Kar Diya.
Booking Window Par Clerk Lady Thi, Usne Ye Dekha Aur Boli Lady Cleark: “Sir Ye Kya Hai, Isko Kaato, Ye Nahi Chalega” Santa Hairani Se: “Kitna Kaat Doon?” Lady Cleark: “Poora Hi Kaatna Padega” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye: “Madam Ji Aap Reservation Cancel Hi Kar Do, Main Bus Se Hi Chala Jaaunga.“

6.



Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun” Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“

7.



Santa Ne Apne Sath Wale Padosi Se Ek Din Puchha Santa: “Ek Baat Bata Yaar, Kya 48 Saal Ke Baad Aurat Ko Bachha Ho Sakta Hai?” Padosi: “Nahi Yaar Ye To Bahut Hi Mushkil Hai” Santa: “To Yaar Apni Biwi Ko Samjha Na, Ese Hi Faltu Mein Condom Ka Kharcha Karvati Hai“

8.



Madam Class Mein: “SEX And SIX Mein Kya Difference Hai?” Santa: “Madam Ji Main Batau” Madam: “Yes” Santa: “Balla Utha Ke Maro To SIX Aur Skirt Utha Ke Maro To SEX“

9.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Santa Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Aisi Konsi Jagha Hai Jise Banaya To Aadmi Ne Hai, Par Phir Bhi Vo Wahan Nahi Ja Sakta?” Santa Kuch Soch Ke: “Madam Ji, Ladies Toilet“

10.



Santa Sochte Hue Banta Se Bolta Hai: “Yaar Ye Ladkiyan Kitni Chalak Hoti Hain” Banta Puchta Hai: “Kyun??” Santa: “Yaar Ladkiyan Apna 18 Rupye Litre Wala Doodh Dikha Kar, Humara 180 Rupye Litre Wala Ghee Nikal Leti Hai.

11.



Suhaag Raat Me Wife : Muje Gabhrahat ho rahi Hai..
Husband : Tumhari PehLi Raat hai na IsLiye ? Wife : Nahi Ji Raat me Pehli Baar hai IsLiye.

12.



Class Me Baithi Ladki Ki Bra Ka Hook “Tak” Ki Awaj Ke Sath Tut Gaya.
Teacher Ne Pucha: “Arey Kya Hua?, Ye Awaaj Kaisi Thi?” Ladki Ke Piche Baitha Pappu Ek Dum Se Bola “Madam, Do Panchi Pinjra Todkar Azad Ho Gaye, Pakad Lu Kya?”

13.



Baba Saxidas Ka Zindagi Ko Ache Tarike Se Jeene Ka Formula Agar Aap Apni Ungliyon Ka Upyog Apni Hi Galtiyon Ko Ginne Ke Liye Karoge, To Dusro Ki Gaand Me Ungli Karne Ka Waqt Hi Nahi Milega..

14.



Santa Roz Biwi Ko Sex Ke Waqt Bolta Tha.
Santa: “Aur Tight Kar – Aur Tight Kar, Achhe Se Tight Kar” Biwi Tang Aakar Ek Din Gusse Se Boli: “Bhosdi Ke Bahar Jaa Ke Ganne Ke Juice Ki Machine Main Dal Le, Tight Bhi Pura Hoga Aur Juice Bhi Jyada Niklega“

15.



Ek Din Ek Sardar Ne Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Jiski T-Shirt Par Likha Thha “Handle With Care” Agle Din Usne Apni Jeans Ke Aage Likhva Liya “Candle With Hair“

16.



Pappu Vella Betha Kuch Na Kuch Schemes Hi Sohta Rahta Thha Ese Hi Ek Din Usne Phone Uthaya Aur Ek Ladki Ka Number Dial Kiya Ladki Ne Jaisi Hi Phone Uthaya, Pappu Bola Pappu: “Munna Hai?” Ladki Boli: “Nahi Hai” Pappu: “Mujh Se Chudva Le Ho Jayega“

17.



Santa Badi Buri Halat Mein Ghar Aya Sab Ne Pucha: “Kya Hua?” Santa: “Mandi Mein Anaaj Bech Raha Thha Ye Kah Ke Gehoon-Le-Lo” Gharwale: “Fir?” Santa: “Sab Ne Samjha Gay-Hun-Le-Lo, Aur Unhone Meri Mill Ke Li“

18.



Santa Nu Bleeding Ho Rahi Si Banta Ne Puchhya: “Ki Hoya?” Santa: “Jaggu Ne Mainu Hathoda (Hammer) Marya” Banta: “Tere Hath Vich Kuch Nahi Si?” Santa: “Haan, Hai Si” Banta: “Ki?” Santa: “Usdi Biwi De Boobs“

19.



लड़की दूकानदार से:- CONDOM देना.
दूकानदार(मस्ती मैं):- किस लिए! लड़की (गुस्से से):- तेरे बाप को गिफ्ट करूँगी, ताकि तेरे जैसा दूसरा चुतिया पैदा ना करे

20.



Santa Ki Shadi Hui Par Suhagrat Mein Kya Krna Hote Hai Ye Usko Pata Nahi Thha.
Vo Apne Daddy Ke Pass Jaata Aur Puchta Hai Ki Kya Karu Daddy: “Rat Ko Mujhe Phone Kriyo Aur Jaise Main Kahoon Vaise Hi Kriyo.” Raat Ke 1.30 Baje Daddy Ko Phone Ata Hai.
Santa: “Daddy Batao Kya Karna Hai?” Daddy: “Dulhan Ke Aur Apne Kapde Utar.” Santa: “Fir?” Daddy: “Dulhan Ki Taango K Beech Me Ched (Hole) Dikh Raha Hoga Tujhe?” Santa: “Hanji Daddy Dikh Raha Hai” Daddy: “Ab Jo Mere Paas Bhi Hai Aur Tere Paas Bhi Hai Vo Us Ched Mein Daal De” Santa Ne Apna Mobile Hi Patni Ki Choot Mein Daal Diya

21.



Bade Dino Baad Mall Mein Ex Girlfriend Pappu Ko Mili To Usne Pucha “Bahut Dino Baad Mile Ho, Kaisa Hai Aajkal?” Pappu: “Jeans Utar Ke Dekh Le Kaisa Hai Aajkal Pata Lag Jayega”

22.



Pappu Ka Sex Karne Ka Mood Bana To Girlfriend Ko Fon Kiya Aur Bola Pappu: “Chalo Gulli Danda Khelte Hai?” Ladki: “Nahi Teen Din Baad” Pappu: “Kyuu?” Ladki: “Pitch Geeli Hai Tum Chaho To Volley Ball Khel Sakte Ho.“

23.



Ek Baar Santa Or Uski Wife Mein Jhagda Ho Gaya.
Santa Apni Wife Se Jhagda Karte Hue Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Mera Dil Chahta Hai, Ke Mein Tera Khoon Pee Jao.” Wife: “Toh Pehle Batana Tha Na, Ab To Periods Bhi Khatam Ho Gaye Hai.“

24.



Kahin Kaale-Gore lad rahe hai to kahin Hindu-Musalman..
Kahin Israel-Gaza to kahin India-Pakistan..
Pyaar to Bhenchod sirf Blue Flims me hi reh gaya hai..

25.



Santa Ko Natak Mein Arjun Ka Role Mila, Jab Natak Shuru Hua To Santa Arjun Ke Roop Mein Aaya, Logo Ne Shor Kiya: “Pagdi Wala Arjun…….Pagdi Wala Arjun” Santa Bola: “Bhosdi Walo, Abhi Do Minute Pehle Lund Wali Dropadi Aayi Thi, Tab Saare So Rahe The Kya?“

26.



Santa Ek Din Apne Gaanv Se Door Shahar Mein Mela Dekhne Aaya Hua Tha.
Wahaan Uski Cycle Chori Ho Gayi, Bechara Zor-Zor Se Rone Lag Gaya.
Santa: “Main Ghar Kaise Jaunga – Main Ghar Kaise Jaunga” Ek Aadmi Ne Ye Dekha To Us Se Raha Na Gaya Aur Santa Se Bola.
Aadmi: “Bhai Ro Mat Aaj Raat Mere Ghar Ruk Kar Subha Gaanv Laut Jana, Par Ek Chhoti Si Problem Hai Mere Paas Sirf Ek Hi Khaat Hai Tumhe Khaat Ke Niche Sona Padega” Santa Maan Gaya, Raat Ko Aadmi Apni Biwi Ke Sath Daru Peekar Sex Karne Laga Aur Masti Mein Bola Aadmi: “Aaj To Teri Chut Mein Saari Duniya Dikh Rahi Hai” Niche Leta Santa Ye Sab Sun Raha Tha, Ek Dam Se Bola Santa: “Bhai Sahab, Please Meri Cycle Bhi Dekh Lena Kahaan Par Hai“

27.



Pappu Se Uski Girlfriend Ne Masti Ke Mood Mein Puchha.
Ladki: “Sex Ke Pehle Chut Kaisi Dikhti Hai?” Pappu: “Jaise Gulaab” Ladki: “Aur Sex Ke Baad?” Pappu: “Sardar Ji Ke Muh Ki Tarha Jisne Thodi Der Pehle Lassi Pi Ho“

28.



Santa Ko Bavaseer Ho Gayi, Hakim Ne Kaha Marham Lagwane Roj Aana Padega.
Hakim Ne Usko Chaar Din Marham Lagaya Aur Kaha, Hakim: “Ab Kafi Theek Ho Gayi Hai, Baqi Biwi Se Lagwa Lena” Jab Agle Din Preeto Marham Lagane Lagi To Usne Ek Haath Santa Ke Kandhe Par Rakha, Aur Dusre Se Marham Lagane Lagi To Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa: “Tera Ek Haath Kandhay Par Hai Dusra Kaha Hai?” Preeto Boli: “Us Se Marham Laga Rahi Hoon” Santa Chonk Kar Bola: “Oh, Hakim Ki Bahan Ki Choot, Uske To Dono Haath Mere Kandhe Par Hote The“

29.



Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya Doctor: “Arrey Waah, Tum Duniya Ke Pehle Aadmi Ho Jo Pregnent Ho” Santa Rote Hue: “Hey Bhagwan! Main Logo Ko Kya Munh Dikhaunga? Meri To Abhi Shadi Bhi Nahi Hu.“

30.



Santa Banta Se: “Muje Shak Hai Meri Biwi Ki Panty Tere Bedroom Mein Hai?” Banta: “Par Gadhe, Bhabhi Panty Kaha Pehnti Hai?” Santa: “Are Haan, Sorry Yaar Maine Tujhpe Vese Hi Shak Kiya“