😍 Shaadi.com Wale Rishtedar – Rishta Wale Jokes – 09

1.



Ek Raat Ko Santa Fashion Tv Dekh Raha Tha To Achank Uska Ladka Aa Jata Hai To Banta Fatafat Bola: “Gareeb Ladkiyan Hain Bechari Kapde Kharidne Ke Liye Bhi Pese Nahi Hain” Ladka: “Daddy ! Jab Inse Bhi Gareeb Ladkiyan Aaye To Mujhe Bhi Awaj Laga Dena“

2.



Sardar Ji School Mein Apne Ladke Ka Report Card Lene Jate Hai Sardar: “Madam Ji Kab Dengi Aap” Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Sardar Ji Period Khatam Hone Tak To Intezar Kar Lo Na.
Fir De Dungi“

3.



Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya Doctor: “Arrey Waah, Tum Duniya Ke Pehle Aadmi Ho Jo Pregnent Ho” Santa Rote Hue: “Hey Bhagwan! Main Logo Ko Kya Munh Dikhaunga? Meri To Abhi Shadi Bhi Nahi Hu.“

4.



Ajakal Ke Time Mein Ladkiya Bewafa Kyu Hoti Hai, Aur Biwiya Apne Mard Ko Chhod Kar Dusre Mardo Ke Piche Kyu Bhagti Hai.
Is Cheez Par Research Karke Hamare Pujniye Baba Saxidas Ji Ne Ek Slogan Banaya Hai.
Rozana Muth Marne Se Parhez Kariye, Yaad Rakhein Ke Lund Jaandar To Mard Shaandar,

5.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Santa Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Aisi Konsi Jagha Hai Jise Banaya To Aadmi Ne Hai, Par Phir Bhi Vo Wahan Nahi Ja Sakta?” Santa Kuch Soch Ke: “Madam Ji, Ladies Toilet“

6.



Ek Raat Santa Station Jane Ke Liye Taxi Rukwata Hai.
Taxi Wale Ko Talwar Ke Dam Par Bahar Nikalta Hai Aur Kehta Hai Santa: “Chal Apni Pant Khol Aur Mutthh Maar” Taxi Wala Ghabra Kar Apni Muth Marne Lagta Hai Santa: “Phir Ek Baar Maar” Taxi Wala Fir Marne Lag Jata Hai Santa: “Ek Baar Aur” Santa Aise Hi 5 – 6 Baar Aur Karwata Hai Taxiwala Rote Hue: “Sardarji Itni Muth Maar Li Hai Ab To Mera Khda Bhi Nahi Ho Raha” Santa Apni Bahen Ko Andar Se Bulata Hai Aur Taxiwale Ko Bolta Hai Santa: “Jaa Ab Meri Bahen Ko Railway Station Chhod Aa“

7.



Santa Wife Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Thha Sex Ke Baad Wife Ko Geela Geela Sa Laga To Patni Ne Pucha Patni: “Oye, Condom Kyu Nahi Lagaya?” Santa: “Yaar Condoms Ke Pack Pe Likha Thha, Don’t Use If Seal Is Broken“

8.



Ek Din Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha: “Oye Ek Baat Bata, Ladki Aur Bijli Ki Taar Mein Kya Farak Hai?” Banta: “Yaar Jyada Farak Nahi Hai, Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain.”

9.



Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai, Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?” Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“

10.



Santa: “Madam, How Do Babies Come In To The World?” Teacher: “In The Moonlight Angels Come and Leave The Baby In A Mother’s Lap” Santa: “You Mean Fucking Is Useless“

11.



Banta Ko Har Baat Mein Gaaliyaan Dene Ki Aadat Thi.
Ek Din Bhaaga-Bhaaga Kahi Jaa Raha Tha To Santa Ne Puchha Santa: “Abe Kidhar Ja Raha Hai?” Banta: “Bahan Ki Chut, Photostate Karane Jaa Raha Hoon” Santa: “Achha, Fir Chut Ki Ek Copy Mujhe Bhi De Diyo.“

12.



Pappu Jab 4 Month Ka Ho Gaya Tha To Ek Din Santa Ne Apni Biwi Preeto Se Puchha Santa: “Tum Pappu Ko Kya Pilati Ho?” Preeto: “Doodh Aur Orange Juice” Santa Ye Sun Kar Hawa Mein Uchhla Aur Biwi Se Bola Santa: “Oye, Tune Kabhi Bataya Nahi Ki Orange Juice Kis Side Se Aata Hai?“

13.



Santa Ki Wife TV Dekh Rahi Hoti Hai Toh Santa Usko Kehta Hai.
Santa: “Kya Din Raat Cooking Show Dekhti Rehti Hai?” Wife: “Aap Chup Hi Raho To Achha Hoga, Aapko Kya” Santa: “Arrey, Fir Bhi Tujhe Khana Banana Toh Aata Hi Nahi Hai” Wife: “Aur Aap Bhi Toh Din Raat Blue Film Dekhte Rehte Ho, Maine Kuch Kaha?“

14.



Santa Ko Ek Baar Talibano Ne Pakad Liya Aur Kaid Kar Liya Unka Leader Aya Aur Santa Ke Gale Pe Talwar Rakh Ke Bola Leader: “Oye, Ya To Islaam Kabool Karo, Nahi To Gala Kaat Diya Jayega” Santa Rote Hue: “Yaar, Kesa Ajeeb Dharam Hai Tumhara, Kabool Karo To Lulli Kaat Dete Ho, Na Karo To Gardan“

15.



Ek Baar Ek Sardaar Apni Patni Ke Boobs Pakad Kar Bola: “Darling Je Tere Boobs Thodhe Hor Sakhat Hunde Ta Tainu Bra Paaun Di Zarurat Nahi Si” Patni Ne V Sardaar Da Lund Fadd Ke Keya: “Je Tera V Lund Thoda Aur Vada Hunda Te Mainu Kisi Or Da Lund Lain Di Zarurat Nahi Si“

16.



डायरेक्टर: सुहागरात का सीन है, तुम्हें हीरो को ग्लास में दूध पिलाना है। मलिका: अगर ग्लास में ही पिलाना था तो विद्या बालन को बुला लेते

17.



Class Mein Ek Shararti Bache Ne Apni Teacher Se Poocha Johnny: “Miss Ye Bus Male Hai Ya Female?” Teacher Sochne Lagi Itne Mein Santa Bola: “Bus Female Hai” Johnny: “Kyun?” Santa: “Kyunki Sab Uspar Piche Se Chadte Hai” Teacher Bechari Pareshan Ho Gayi Johnny: “Agar Bus Female Hai To Uske Bache Kyu Nahi Hote?” Santa: “Kyunki Sab Uspar Piche Se Chadte Hai” Teacher Bechari Sharam Se Paani Paani Hogayi Johnny: “Mana Sab Piche Se Chadte Hai, Par Driver Aur Conductor To Aage Se Hi Chadte Hai, Fir Bache Kyu Nahi Hote” Teacher Ki Saansein Band Santa: “Kyunki Dono Topi Laga Ke Chadte Hai” Teacher Behosh

18.



Pappu Jab Chhota Tha Vo Tabhi Se Kameena Tha.
Ek Din Vo Apne Padosi Uncle Sharma Ji Ko Bola Pappu: “Uncle, Ek Baat Batao, Aunty Raat Ko Kabutron Ko Dana Deti Hai Kya?” Uncle Hairani Se: “Nahi Beta, Kyun?” Papppu: “Phir Unki Awaaz Kyun Aati Hai, Ah Ahh Ahh Aah Aah Aah Aah“

19.



Santa Ki Wife TV Dekh Rahi Hoti Hai Toh Santa Usko Kehta Hai.
Santa: “Kya Din Raat Cooking Show Dekhti Rehti Hai?” Wife: “Aap Chup Hi Raho To Achha Hoga, Aapko Kya” Santa: “Arrey, Fir Bhi Tujhe Khana Banana Toh Aata Hi Nahi Hai” Wife: “Aur Aap Bhi Toh Din Raat Blue Film Dekhte Rehte Ho, Maine Kuch Kaha?“

20.



Santa Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha Achanak Hi Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa To Girl: “Do U Have Aids?” Girl: “No” Santa: “Bhagwan Ka Shukar Hai, Main Nahi Chahta Ki Mujhe Dobara Aids Ho Jaye.“

21.



Math Ke Master Ne Ek Din Class Mein Pappu Se Puchha Master: “Agar Main Tumhe 2 Billi Du, Fir 2 Billi Du Aur Fir 2 Billi Aur Du To Tumhare Pas Kitni Billiya Ho Jayengi?” Pappu: “Ji, 7” Master: “Nahi, Mera Sawal Dobara Dhayan Se Suno, Agar Main Tumhe 2 Billi Du, Fir 2 Billi Du Aur Fir 2 Billi Aur Du To Tumhare Pas Kitni Billiya Ho Jayengi?” Pappu: “Master Ji 7” Master: “Hmm, Main Tumhe Alag Tarike Se Samjhata Hun, Agar Main Tumhe 2 Seb Du, Fir 2 Seb Du Aur Fir 2 Seb Aur Du To Tumhare Paas Kitne Seb Ho Jayenge?” Pappu: “Ji 6” Master Khush Hote Hue: “Bahut Achhe, Ab Agar Main Tumhe 2 Billi Du, Fir 2 Billi Du Aur Fir 2 Billi Aur Du To Tumhare Pas Kitni Billiya Ho Jayengi?” Pappu: “7” Master Ko Ab Gussa Aa Gaya Aur Vo Pappu Ko Gaaliya Dete Hue Bola Master: “Abe Sale Tere Pas 7 Kidhar Se Ho Jayengi?” Pappu Bhi Gali Dete Hue Bola: “Bhonsdi Ke Kyunki Mere Pas Ghar Par 1 Billi Pahle Se Hi Hai“

22.



Pappu Santa Se: “Daddy Aap To Chutiya Ho” Santa Hairani Se: “Kyu Be?” Pappu: “Aaj Jab Aap Bahar Gaye Thhe To Mummy Uncle Se Kah Rahi Thhi Ki Jaldi Karo Wo Chutiya Aane Wala Hai“

23.



Santa Chemist Shop Pe Gaya Aur Bola: “Bhai Sahib Ek Condom Dena Mujhe Meri Girlfriend Ko Gift Dena Hai” Shopkeeper: “Ispar Cover Chada Doon Kya?” Santa: “Oye Nahi Gadhe Ye Hi To Cover Hai Gift To Mere Pass Hai“

24.



Santa Was Sitting In His House Without Pagdi On Head And Banta Comes To Meet Him Banta Shocked: “Oye Santa Tune Baal Katwa Diye?” Santa With Shame: “Haan Yaar, Bahut Hairfall Ho Raha Tha.” Banta Shouts: “Hair Fall Ho Raha Tha To Baal Katwa Diye, Phir To Acha Hua Tujhe Nightfall Nahi Hua Warna Tu To Pata Nahi Kya-Kya Katwa Deta.“

25.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

26.



Santa Fixed His Marriage On 2nd March.
He Sent Invitation To His Friends: “Marriage Is On March 2nd But Please Come On 1st Night We All Will Enjoy.“

27.



Pappu Jab Chota Tha To Ek Din Ghar Par Badi Late Aya Maa Ne Dante Hue Usko Bola: “Tu Itni Raat Ko Kidhar Tha?” Pappu: “Mummy, Vo Main Sath Wale Sharma Ji Ke Ghar Tv Dekh Raha Tha” Maa: “Oye Juth Mat Bol, Unke Ghar Ka Man Gate To Rat Ko 8 Baje Hi Band Ho Jaata Hai” Pappu: “Par Mummy Mene To Unki Khidki Mein Se Sari Movie Dekhi” “Film Mein Ek Ladki Thi Jo Apne Kamre Mein Bethi Hui Thi, Tabhi Hero Aata Hai Aur Uska Hath Pakad Leta Hai Aur Fir Usko Puppy Karta Hua Bed Pe Lita Leta Hai” Itne Mein Santa Kamre Mein Gussa Aur Ek Zor Ka Thappar Pappu Ko Maara Maa: “O Ji, Kyu Maarte Ho Bachhe Ko, Film Ki Story Hi To Bata Raha Tha” Santa: “Haramzada, Pata Nahi Kya Kya Dekhta Rahta Hai, Sharma Ji Ke Ghar Mein To Tv Hi Nahi Hai“

28.



Santa Banta Ek Din Park Mein Bethe The To Achanak Se Santa Ek Ladko Ko Dekh Ke Bola.
Santa: “Yaar Bantya, Wo Ladki Kitni Sundar Hai” Banta: “Mujhe Uska Naam Pata Hai” Santa Hairani Se: “Achha Kya Naam Hai Uska?” Banta: “Wo Bank Mein Kaam Karti Hai, Uske Counter Ke Upar Uska Naam Likha Tha… Chaalu Khaata“

29.



Santa Aur Banta Bethe Baat Kar Rahe Thhe Santa: “Yaar Jab Tu Paida Ho Raha Thha To Tune Sir Pahle Nikala Ya Pair” Banta: “Maine Pair Pahle Nikale, Aur Tune?” Santa: “Mene To Bhai Sir Nikala Thha” Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Purane Log Kahte Hai Kisi Ki Phati Mein Tang Nahi Adani Chahiye“

30.



Santa Wife Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Thha Sex Ke Baad Wife Ko Geela Geela Sa Laga To Patni Ne Pucha Patni: “Oye, Condom Kyu Nahi Lagaya?” Santa: “Yaar Condoms Ke Pack Pe Likha Thha, Don’t Use If Seal Is Broken“