1.
Ek Baar Sharabi Santa Ka Lund Facture Hone Par Ek Admi Use Hospital Le Gaya, Waha Doctor Ne Pucha.
Doctor: “Yeh Kaise Hua?” Santa: “Main Usko Jaan Se Maar Dunga Jisne Diwaar Par Nangi Ladki Ki Tasvir Chipkai“
Ek Baar Sharabi Santa Ka Lund Facture Hone Par Ek Admi Use Hospital Le Gaya, Waha Doctor Ne Pucha.
Doctor: “Yeh Kaise Hua?” Santa: “Main Usko Jaan Se Maar Dunga Jisne Diwaar Par Nangi Ladki Ki Tasvir Chipkai“
2.
Class Me Baithi Ladki Ki Bra Ka Hook “Tak” Ki Awaj Ke Sath Tut Gaya.
Teacher Ne Pucha: “Arey Kya Hua?, Ye Awaaj Kaisi Thi?” Ladki Ke Piche Baitha Pappu Ek Dum Se Bola “Madam, Do Panchi Pinjra Todkar Azad Ho Gaye, Pakad Lu Kya?”
Class Me Baithi Ladki Ki Bra Ka Hook “Tak” Ki Awaj Ke Sath Tut Gaya.
Teacher Ne Pucha: “Arey Kya Hua?, Ye Awaaj Kaisi Thi?” Ladki Ke Piche Baitha Pappu Ek Dum Se Bola “Madam, Do Panchi Pinjra Todkar Azad Ho Gaye, Pakad Lu Kya?”
3.
Santa Badi Buri Halat Mein Ghar Aya Sab Ne Pucha: “Kya Hua?” Santa: “Mandi Mein Anaaj Bech Raha Thha Ye Kah Ke Gehoon-Le-Lo” Gharwale: “Fir?” Santa: “Sab Ne Samjha Gay-Hun-Le-Lo, Aur Unhone Meri Mill Ke Li“
Santa Badi Buri Halat Mein Ghar Aya Sab Ne Pucha: “Kya Hua?” Santa: “Mandi Mein Anaaj Bech Raha Thha Ye Kah Ke Gehoon-Le-Lo” Gharwale: “Fir?” Santa: “Sab Ne Samjha Gay-Hun-Le-Lo, Aur Unhone Meri Mill Ke Li“
4.
भरी बस में एक लड़की के पीछे खड़े लड़के का खड़ा औजार लड़की को छू रहा था। लड़की ने उस लड़के को ज़ोर से थप्पड़ मारा और कहा, कमीने खुद को खड़े होने की जगह नहीं, तूने इसको भी खड़ा कर रखा है
भरी बस में एक लड़की के पीछे खड़े लड़के का खड़ा औजार लड़की को छू रहा था। लड़की ने उस लड़के को ज़ोर से थप्पड़ मारा और कहा, कमीने खुद को खड़े होने की जगह नहीं, तूने इसको भी खड़ा कर रखा है
5.
Santa Ki Wife TV Dekh Rahi Hoti Hai Toh Santa Usko Kehta Hai.
Santa: “Kya Din Raat Cooking Show Dekhti Rehti Hai?” Wife: “Aap Chup Hi Raho To Achha Hoga, Aapko Kya” Santa: “Arrey, Fir Bhi Tujhe Khana Banana Toh Aata Hi Nahi Hai” Wife: “Aur Aap Bhi Toh Din Raat Blue Film Dekhte Rehte Ho, Maine Kuch Kaha?“
Santa Ki Wife TV Dekh Rahi Hoti Hai Toh Santa Usko Kehta Hai.
Santa: “Kya Din Raat Cooking Show Dekhti Rehti Hai?” Wife: “Aap Chup Hi Raho To Achha Hoga, Aapko Kya” Santa: “Arrey, Fir Bhi Tujhe Khana Banana Toh Aata Hi Nahi Hai” Wife: “Aur Aap Bhi Toh Din Raat Blue Film Dekhte Rehte Ho, Maine Kuch Kaha?“
6.
Pappu Jab Chota Tha To Madam Ne Ek Din Usko Bade Pyar Se Puchha Madam: “Pappu Beta, Tumhe Sabse Jyada Maza Kab Aata Hai?” Pappu Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aap Mujhe Susu Karane Ke Liye Meri Nunni Hath Se Bahar Nikalti Ho”
Pappu Jab Chota Tha To Madam Ne Ek Din Usko Bade Pyar Se Puchha Madam: “Pappu Beta, Tumhe Sabse Jyada Maza Kab Aata Hai?” Pappu Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aap Mujhe Susu Karane Ke Liye Meri Nunni Hath Se Bahar Nikalti Ho”
7.
Hindi Ki Madam Class Mein Bachho Ka Hindi Grammar Ka Oral Test Le Rahi Thi.
Madam: “Saamp Bhi Mar Jaye Aur Lathi Bhi Na Toote – Is Muhavare Ko Ek Shabad Mein Samjhao” Pappu Muskurate Hue Bola: “Mam, Masturbation (Muth)“
Hindi Ki Madam Class Mein Bachho Ka Hindi Grammar Ka Oral Test Le Rahi Thi.
Madam: “Saamp Bhi Mar Jaye Aur Lathi Bhi Na Toote – Is Muhavare Ko Ek Shabad Mein Samjhao” Pappu Muskurate Hue Bola: “Mam, Masturbation (Muth)“
8.
Class Mein New Teacher Aayi, Jiske Blouse Pe Phool Laga Hua Thha.
Kuch Der Baad Usne Samne Bethe Pappu Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Batao Beta, Phool Kya Peete Hai?” Pappu: “Ji Mam, Doodh” Teacher Ne Pyar Se Samjhate Hue Kaha: “Nahi Beta, Paani Peete Hai” Pappu Sochte Hue: “Ji Mam Sorry, Mujhe Pata Nahi Thha Iski Dandi Itni Niche Tak Hai“
Class Mein New Teacher Aayi, Jiske Blouse Pe Phool Laga Hua Thha.
Kuch Der Baad Usne Samne Bethe Pappu Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Batao Beta, Phool Kya Peete Hai?” Pappu: “Ji Mam, Doodh” Teacher Ne Pyar Se Samjhate Hue Kaha: “Nahi Beta, Paani Peete Hai” Pappu Sochte Hue: “Ji Mam Sorry, Mujhe Pata Nahi Thha Iski Dandi Itni Niche Tak Hai“
9.
Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“
Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“
10.
Ek Din Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha: “Oye Ek Baat Bata, Ladki Aur Bijli Ki Taar Mein Kya Farak Hai?” Banta: “Yaar Jyada Farak Nahi Hai, Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain.”
Ek Din Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha: “Oye Ek Baat Bata, Ladki Aur Bijli Ki Taar Mein Kya Farak Hai?” Banta: “Yaar Jyada Farak Nahi Hai, Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain.”
11.
Santa Mobile Shop Ke Bahar Khada Mobile Dekh Raha Tha.
Andar Se Salesman Ne Smile Dete Hue Awaj Lagayi Salesman: “Please Come Inside and Choose” Santa Gusse Se: “Bhosadi Ke Tu Bahar Aa Aur Mera Choos…!!!!!”
Santa Mobile Shop Ke Bahar Khada Mobile Dekh Raha Tha.
Andar Se Salesman Ne Smile Dete Hue Awaj Lagayi Salesman: “Please Come Inside and Choose” Santa Gusse Se: “Bhosadi Ke Tu Bahar Aa Aur Mera Choos…!!!!!”
12.
Santa (B.Com) Saw A Poster At A Police Station: “Two Engineers Wanted For Rape” Santa: “Shit Man, These Engineers Always Get The Best Jobs“
Santa (B.Com) Saw A Poster At A Police Station: “Two Engineers Wanted For Rape” Santa: “Shit Man, These Engineers Always Get The Best Jobs“
13.
Koi Bhi Kunwari Ladki Savecha Se Apni Choot Nahi Deti, Usko Majbur Kar Diya Jata Hai, Chahe Pyar Ka Natak Karke Karo Ya Usko Koi Aur Lalach Dekar.
Aurto Ke Liye Baba Saxidas Ji Ka Ek Mahan Naara, Tum Mujhe Choot Do Main Tumhe Bacha Dunga, Par Hairani Is Bat Ki Hai India Ki Aurte Fir Bhi Jagruk Nahi Hai Aur Bache Ke Liye Tadpati Hai.
Koi Bhi Kunwari Ladki Savecha Se Apni Choot Nahi Deti, Usko Majbur Kar Diya Jata Hai, Chahe Pyar Ka Natak Karke Karo Ya Usko Koi Aur Lalach Dekar.
Aurto Ke Liye Baba Saxidas Ji Ka Ek Mahan Naara, Tum Mujhe Choot Do Main Tumhe Bacha Dunga, Par Hairani Is Bat Ki Hai India Ki Aurte Fir Bhi Jagruk Nahi Hai Aur Bache Ke Liye Tadpati Hai.
14.
Santa Enters Home From Work And Seeing Preeto Is Sitting On Sofa In Skirt Not Wearing Panty She Spreads Her Legs.
Santa Stares At The Spot.
Preeto Smiles: “Aise Kya Dekh Rahe Ho, Panty Nahi Pehni Hoon.” Santa: “Ohh Tune To Daraa Hi Diya, Mujhe Laga Sofa Phat Gaya Hai“
Santa Enters Home From Work And Seeing Preeto Is Sitting On Sofa In Skirt Not Wearing Panty She Spreads Her Legs.
Santa Stares At The Spot.
Preeto Smiles: “Aise Kya Dekh Rahe Ho, Panty Nahi Pehni Hoon.” Santa: “Ohh Tune To Daraa Hi Diya, Mujhe Laga Sofa Phat Gaya Hai“
15.
Santa: “Dr.
Sahab I Am Suffering From Loose Motions” Doctor: “Kitni Patli Aati Hai??” Santa: “Samajh Lo Ki Aap Usse Gargle Kar Sakte Ho“
Santa: “Dr.
Sahab I Am Suffering From Loose Motions” Doctor: “Kitni Patli Aati Hai??” Santa: “Samajh Lo Ki Aap Usse Gargle Kar Sakte Ho“
16.
Banta Ne Santa Aur Uski Biwi Ko Market Jaate Dekha To Shaam Ko Santa Ko Akela Dekh Puchha.
Banta: “Aaj Kal Bhabhi Ji Ka Left Boob Kaafi Chhota Dikh Raha Hai, Kyun?” Santa: “Ye Saale R.T.O Waalo Ne Seat Belt Lagwa-Lagwa Ke Left Boob Ki Maan Chod Di Hai“
Banta Ne Santa Aur Uski Biwi Ko Market Jaate Dekha To Shaam Ko Santa Ko Akela Dekh Puchha.
Banta: “Aaj Kal Bhabhi Ji Ka Left Boob Kaafi Chhota Dikh Raha Hai, Kyun?” Santa: “Ye Saale R.T.O Waalo Ne Seat Belt Lagwa-Lagwa Ke Left Boob Ki Maan Chod Di Hai“
17.
Santa Ek Bar Apna Blood Test Karvane Hospital Gaya.
Nurse Ne Uski Finger Mein Se Blood Leke Finger Ko Muh Mein Dal Liya Do Min Baad Santa Khada Hoke Dance Karne Lag Gaya Nurse Ne Muh Mein Se Ungli Nikal Ke Pucha: “Dance Kyu Kar Rahe Ho?” Santa: “Oye Kudiye, Agla Test Urine Ka Hai“
Santa Ek Bar Apna Blood Test Karvane Hospital Gaya.
Nurse Ne Uski Finger Mein Se Blood Leke Finger Ko Muh Mein Dal Liya Do Min Baad Santa Khada Hoke Dance Karne Lag Gaya Nurse Ne Muh Mein Se Ungli Nikal Ke Pucha: “Dance Kyu Kar Rahe Ho?” Santa: “Oye Kudiye, Agla Test Urine Ka Hai“
18.
Ek Baar Pappu Plane Se U.S.A Jaa Raha Tha, Sath Mein Ek Angrej Baitha Hua Thha.
Pappu Ne Us Se Time Pucha, Angrej: “Hi Main Ek Scientist Hoon” Pappu: “Hello, Main Engineer Hoon” Angrej: “Wow Engineer, Kya Hum Kuch Topics Par Baat Kar Sakte Hai?” Pappu: “Bilkul” Angrej: “Achcha, Tum Mujhe Nuclear Power Ke Baare Mein Kuch Baatao?” Pappu Ab Ye Sun Ke Chup Rah Gaya.
Angrej: “Ohhh, To Tum Nahi Jante” Pappu: “Jaanta To Hun, Par Sir Pahle Aap Mere Ek Question Ka Answer Do” Angrej: “Hmmm, Puchho” Pappu: “Mandir Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai Aur Church Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai.
To Phir Church Ka Ghanta Mandir Ke Ghante Se Bada Kyu Hota Hai?” Angrej kuch der soch kar bola: “Pata nahi, Main Nahi Jaanta” Pappu uska majaak udate hue bola: “Abe Ja Sale, Pata Tujhe Ghante Ka Bhi Nahi Hai Aur Baatein Nuclear Power Ki Karta Hai“
Ek Baar Pappu Plane Se U.S.A Jaa Raha Tha, Sath Mein Ek Angrej Baitha Hua Thha.
Pappu Ne Us Se Time Pucha, Angrej: “Hi Main Ek Scientist Hoon” Pappu: “Hello, Main Engineer Hoon” Angrej: “Wow Engineer, Kya Hum Kuch Topics Par Baat Kar Sakte Hai?” Pappu: “Bilkul” Angrej: “Achcha, Tum Mujhe Nuclear Power Ke Baare Mein Kuch Baatao?” Pappu Ab Ye Sun Ke Chup Rah Gaya.
Angrej: “Ohhh, To Tum Nahi Jante” Pappu: “Jaanta To Hun, Par Sir Pahle Aap Mere Ek Question Ka Answer Do” Angrej: “Hmmm, Puchho” Pappu: “Mandir Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai Aur Church Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai.
To Phir Church Ka Ghanta Mandir Ke Ghante Se Bada Kyu Hota Hai?” Angrej kuch der soch kar bola: “Pata nahi, Main Nahi Jaanta” Pappu uska majaak udate hue bola: “Abe Ja Sale, Pata Tujhe Ghante Ka Bhi Nahi Hai Aur Baatein Nuclear Power Ki Karta Hai“
19.
लड़की :- मुझे बड़ी ठंड लग रही है, मेरे दोनो हीटर को छु लो! लड़का:- अभी भी ठंड लग रही है क्या? लड़की:- अबे घोन्चु, नीचे प्लग तो लगा.!
लड़की :- मुझे बड़ी ठंड लग रही है, मेरे दोनो हीटर को छु लो! लड़का:- अभी भी ठंड लग रही है क्या? लड़की:- अबे घोन्चु, नीचे प्लग तो लगा.!
20.
Santa Aur Uski Patni Bed Pe Lete Sex Se Related Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe Patni: “Aapne Mere Boobs Chus Chus Ke Bade Kar Diye Hai” Santa Hairan Hote Hue: “Abe Sali, Esa Agar Hota To Mera Lund Mere Ghutne Tak Pahunch Gaya Hota Or Mujhe Condom Ki Jagha Cycle Ki Tube Lagani Padti“
Santa Aur Uski Patni Bed Pe Lete Sex Se Related Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe Patni: “Aapne Mere Boobs Chus Chus Ke Bade Kar Diye Hai” Santa Hairan Hote Hue: “Abe Sali, Esa Agar Hota To Mera Lund Mere Ghutne Tak Pahunch Gaya Hota Or Mujhe Condom Ki Jagha Cycle Ki Tube Lagani Padti“
21.
Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“
Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“
22.
शोहार:- तुम मेरी किस चीज़ से ज़्यादा इम्प्रेस हो लाइफ स्टाइल,कार,ड्रेसिंग या बॅंक बॅलेन्स? बीवी:- आप के सेक्स से, आप जैसा सेक्स मोहल्ले में किसी को करना नही आता !
शोहार:- तुम मेरी किस चीज़ से ज़्यादा इम्प्रेस हो लाइफ स्टाइल,कार,ड्रेसिंग या बॅंक बॅलेन्स? बीवी:- आप के सेक्स से, आप जैसा सेक्स मोहल्ले में किसी को करना नही आता !
23.
Ek Baar Santa Aur Banta Raste Par Ja Rahe The… Santa: “Yaar Main Toh Aaj Mar Gaya, Meri Patni Aur Meri Masook Dono Ek Sath Saamne Se Aa Rahi Hain” Banta: “Oye Banteya Main V Tan Ehi Kehan Wala Si…“
Ek Baar Santa Aur Banta Raste Par Ja Rahe The… Santa: “Yaar Main Toh Aaj Mar Gaya, Meri Patni Aur Meri Masook Dono Ek Sath Saamne Se Aa Rahi Hain” Banta: “Oye Banteya Main V Tan Ehi Kehan Wala Si…“
24.
Santa Ko Natak Mein Arjun Ka Role Mila, Jab Natak Shuru Hua To Santa Arjun Ke Roop Mein Aaya, Logo Ne Shor Kiya: “Pagdi Wala Arjun…….Pagdi Wala Arjun” Santa Bola: “Bhosdi Walo, Abhi Do Minute Pehle Lund Wali Dropadi Aayi Thi, Tab Saare So Rahe The Kya?“
Santa Ko Natak Mein Arjun Ka Role Mila, Jab Natak Shuru Hua To Santa Arjun Ke Roop Mein Aaya, Logo Ne Shor Kiya: “Pagdi Wala Arjun…….Pagdi Wala Arjun” Santa Bola: “Bhosdi Walo, Abhi Do Minute Pehle Lund Wali Dropadi Aayi Thi, Tab Saare So Rahe The Kya?“
25.
During Sex Jeeto Asks To Santa Repeatedly: “Do You Love Me, Do You Really Love Me?” Irritated Santa Shouted: “What The Hell Do You Think, I Am Doing Pushups?“
During Sex Jeeto Asks To Santa Repeatedly: “Do You Love Me, Do You Really Love Me?” Irritated Santa Shouted: “What The Hell Do You Think, I Am Doing Pushups?“
26.
Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“
Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“
27.
Pati: Sex ho jaye? Wife:Nahi Pati: Zewar la dunga W:Nahi Pati: Car launga W:Nahi Beta so raha tha..beech me bola: Papa meri gand mar lo par CYCLE la do...
Pati: Sex ho jaye? Wife:Nahi Pati: Zewar la dunga W:Nahi Pati: Car launga W:Nahi Beta so raha tha..beech me bola: Papa meri gand mar lo par CYCLE la do...
28.
Ajakal Ke Time Mein Ladkiya Bewafa Kyu Hoti Hai, Aur Biwiya Apne Mard Ko Chhod Kar Dusre Mardo Ke Piche Kyu Bhagti Hai.
Is Cheez Par Research Karke Hamare Pujniye Baba Saxidas Ji Ne Ek Slogan Banaya Hai.
Rozana Muth Marne Se Parhez Kariye, Yaad Rakhein Ke Lund Jaandar To Mard Shaandar,
Ajakal Ke Time Mein Ladkiya Bewafa Kyu Hoti Hai, Aur Biwiya Apne Mard Ko Chhod Kar Dusre Mardo Ke Piche Kyu Bhagti Hai.
Is Cheez Par Research Karke Hamare Pujniye Baba Saxidas Ji Ne Ek Slogan Banaya Hai.
Rozana Muth Marne Se Parhez Kariye, Yaad Rakhein Ke Lund Jaandar To Mard Shaandar,
29.
Santa Pahli Baar Train Mein Reservation Karaane Ke Liye Gayaa Santa Ne Reservation Form Me “Ling/Sex” Wale Column Me Likh Diya “8 Inch” Aur Form Submit Kar Diya.
Booking Window Par Clerk Lady Thi, Usne Ye Dekha Aur Boli Lady Cleark: “Sir Ye Kya Hai, Isko Kaato, Ye Nahi Chalega” Santa Hairani Se: “Kitna Kaat Doon?” Lady Cleark: “Poora Hi Kaatna Padega” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye: “Madam Ji Aap Reservation Cancel Hi Kar Do, Main Bus Se Hi Chala Jaaunga.“
Santa Pahli Baar Train Mein Reservation Karaane Ke Liye Gayaa Santa Ne Reservation Form Me “Ling/Sex” Wale Column Me Likh Diya “8 Inch” Aur Form Submit Kar Diya.
Booking Window Par Clerk Lady Thi, Usne Ye Dekha Aur Boli Lady Cleark: “Sir Ye Kya Hai, Isko Kaato, Ye Nahi Chalega” Santa Hairani Se: “Kitna Kaat Doon?” Lady Cleark: “Poora Hi Kaatna Padega” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye: “Madam Ji Aap Reservation Cancel Hi Kar Do, Main Bus Se Hi Chala Jaaunga.“
30.
Santa Fixed His Marriage On 2nd March.
He Sent Invitation To His Friends: “Marriage Is On March 2nd But Please Come On 1st Night We All Will Enjoy.“
Santa Fixed His Marriage On 2nd March.
He Sent Invitation To His Friends: “Marriage Is On March 2nd But Please Come On 1st Night We All Will Enjoy.“
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Daily Hindi Jokes