🥳 Weekend Ki Shuruaat Hasi Se – Top Hindi Jokes – 10

1.



डायरेक्टर: सुहागरात का सीन है, तुम्हें हीरो को ग्लास में दूध पिलाना है। मलिका: अगर ग्लास में ही पिलाना था तो विद्या बालन को बुला लेते

2.



Teacher In Class Mein Bacho Ko Bolti Hai Teacher: “Write A Sentence Ending With Hand.” Santa: “My Penis In Ur Hand” Teacher Santa Ko Chanta Maarti Hai Santa: “Sorry Mam, Main Pen Aur Is Ke Bich Mein Space Dena Bhul Gaya Thha“

3.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

4.



Santa Ki Shaadi Hui Aur Wo Suhagraat Ko Apni Biwi Preeto Ki Chut Mein Apna Lund Ghusane Ki Koshish Kar Raha Tha, Magar Lund Tha Ki Ghus Hi Nahi Raha Tha, To Santa Ne Preeto Se Puchha.
Santa: “Iss Se Pahle Kisi Ne Tumhari Li Nahi Kya?” Preeto: “Li Bahuto Ne Li, Lekin Jab Bhi Li Sabne Chaddi Utaar Ke Li“

5.



Class Mein Ek Shararti Bache Ne Apni Teacher Se Poocha Johnny: “Miss Ye Bus Male Hai Ya Female?” Teacher Sochne Lagi Itne Mein Santa Bola: “Bus Female Hai” Johnny: “Kyun?” Santa: “Kyunki Sab Uspar Piche Se Chadte Hai” Teacher Bechari Pareshan Ho Gayi Johnny: “Agar Bus Female Hai To Uske Bache Kyu Nahi Hote?” Santa: “Kyunki Sab Uspar Piche Se Chadte Hai” Teacher Bechari Sharam Se Paani Paani Hogayi Johnny: “Mana Sab Piche Se Chadte Hai, Par Driver Aur Conductor To Aage Se Hi Chadte Hai, Fir Bache Kyu Nahi Hote” Teacher Ki Saansein Band Santa: “Kyunki Dono Topi Laga Ke Chadte Hai” Teacher Behosh

6.



Santa Biwi Ke Saath Sex Karne Ka Mood Bana Raha Tha To Light Chali Gayi Santa: “Uff, Aaj Ye Condom Itna Tight Aur Chota Kaisi Ho Gaya Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Arrey Ye Condom Nahi Hai, Bache Ki Doodh Ki Bottle Ka Nipple Hai“

7.



Ek Bar Rat Ko Santa Apni Biwi Ke Sath Sex Karne Laga To Biwi Boli: “Please Aaj Rehne Do, Mera Upwas Hai..” Santa Gusse Mein Aakar Bola: “Bhenchod Mere Lund Pe Kyaa Aata Laga Hai, Jo Tera Upwas Toot Jayegaa”

8.



Ek Baar Santa Kisi Beach Par Gaya.
Wahaan Use Ek Nangi Ladki Leti Hui Dikhayi Di.
Santa Ko Sharam Aa Gayi To Usne Uske Pichwade Par Apni Topi Rakh Kar Chala Gaya.
Piche Se Ghumta Hua Banta Aa Raha Tha, Usne Ye Nazara Dekha To Chilla Kar Bola Banta: “Bachao-Bachao, Hey Bhagwan Wo Admi Pura Andar Chala Gaya Sirf Topi Bahar Rah Gayi.“

9.



Santa Ka Baap Santa Ko Apni Marzi Se Shaadi Karne Ke Liye Gusse Se Bolta Hai.
Santa Ka Baap: “Tune Iss Ladki Mein Kya Dekha Jo Iss Ladki Se Shaadi Kar Li.” Santa: “Daddy, Ye Bachpan Mein Angootha Bohat Achha Choosti Thi.”

10.



Santa Ki Biwi Pregnant Thi Aur Vo Uske Saath Sex Nahi Kar Sakta Tha Ek Din Santa Ghar Aa Kar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Mujhe Tharak Bahut Chadd Rahi Thhi, Banta Ki Biwi Ko 100 Rs.
Diye Aur Chod Kar Aa Raha Hoon” Santa Ki Biwi Boli: “Tum Na Bikul Bevkoof Ho, Lutt Ke Aa Gaye… Banta To Yaha 50 Rs.
Mein Karke Jata Hai.
“

11.



Ek Sardarji Film Dekh Ke Ghar Aate Hai Aur Biwi Ko Bolte Hai “Jaldi Se Palang Par Aa Mujhe Sex Karna Hai” Biwi Apne Kapde Utar Ke Palang Par Aa Jaati Hai, Par Sardarji Ab Bhi Ghum Sum Se Betha Rahte Hai Biwi Puchti Hai: “Kya Hua?” Sardar Ji: “Lund Khada Nahi Ho Raha” Tab Biwi Badi Koshish Karti Hai Usko Khada Karne Ki Aur Aakhir Mein Tang Aa Kar Toilet Mein Jaakar Ek Dibbe Mein Paani Bhar Kar Le Aati Hai Aur Uske Lund Ko Paani Mein Dubati Hai Sardar Ji: “Kya Kar Rahi Ho?” Biwi: “Dekh Rahi Hun Ki Kahi Puncture To Nahi Hua“

12.



Class Me Baithi Ladki Ki Bra Ka Hook “Tak” Ki Awaj Ke Sath Tut Gaya.
Teacher Ne Pucha: “Arey Kya Hua?, Ye Awaaj Kaisi Thi?” Ladki Ke Piche Baitha Pappu Ek Dum Se Bola “Madam, Do Panchi Pinjra Todkar Azad Ho Gaye, Pakad Lu Kya?”

13.



Santa Ek Din Bank Gaya Pese Lene Layi Kudi Cashier Si Usne Puchhya: “So (100) Ke Loge” Santa: “Khade Khade V Chalega Ji, Tusi Davo Taan Sahi“

14.



Santa Ne Life Mein Pahli Baar Sex Karne Ki Sochi Aur Ja Pahuncha Ek Callgirl Ke Pass Call Girl Ne Uske Kapde Utar Ke Sex Karna Shuru Kar Diya Sex Ke Baad Santa Jor Jor Se Rone Lag Gaya Call Girl Gabra Gayi Aur Pucha: “Kya Hua Tum Rone Kyu Lag Gaye?” Santa: “Jab Andar Gaya Tab Ye 6 Inch Ka Tha, Bahar 3 Inch Ka Aya, Baki Kahan Hai?“

15.



Ladki Ki Jeans Ki Pant Khulli Thhi Aur Usne Panty Nahi Pahan Rakhi Thhi Pappu Dekh Ke Bola: “Aapke Lower Lips Dikh Rahe Hai” Ladki: “Mujhe Pata Hai Beta, Ye To Ciggerate Peena Chahte Hai“

16.



Teacher: “Explain Sex Without Any Bad Word?” Santa: “It Is An Entry Of “Polland” Into “Holland” In Between “Thailand” When Man and Woman Both Are In “Nagaland“.

17.



Teacher Class Mein Nayi Nayi Aayi Aur Bachho Ko Pucha Teacher: “Chalo Bacho Jaldi Batao, Jo Sun Nahi Sakta Use Kya Kahenge?” Santa: “Madam Ji, Usse Madarchod, Maa Ke Laude, Bhenchod, Bhen Ke Lund Kuchh Bhi Keh Do Kya Farak Padta Hai, Vo Kaunsa Sun Lega“

18.



Santa Ek Baar Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Karne Laga To Ladki Santa Ka L.oda Dekh Kar Boli: “Itna Bada” Santa Khushi Se Bola: “Oh Ji Hum Punjabi Hain Hamara To Sub Kuch Hi Bada Hota Hai” Jab Ladki Ne Apni Salwaar Utaari To Santa Uski Cho.ot Dekh Kar Bola “Oye! Tusi Vi Punjabi Ho“

19.



Santa Ko Natak Mein Arjun Ka Role Mila, Jab Natak Shuru Hua To Santa Arjun Ke Roop Mein Aaya, Logo Ne Shor Kiya: “Pagdi Wala Arjun…….Pagdi Wala Arjun” Santa Bola: “Bhosdi Walo, Abhi Do Minute Pehle Lund Wali Dropadi Aayi Thi, Tab Saare So Rahe The Kya?“

20.



Santa Ko Ek Din Hichki Aayi Aur Sath Mein Uska Lund Bhi Khada Ho Gaya Santa: “Arrey Wah Lagta Hai Balbir Bhai Ke Saath Babhi Bhi Yaad Kar Rahi Hai”

21.



Pappu Ka Ek Dost Thhe Golu Ek Din Dono Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe To Golu Ne Pappu Se Pucha Golu: “Jab Girls Car Me Seat Belt Bandhti Hain To Kaisa Dikhta Hai?” Pappu: “Percentage Ke Symbol Jaisa %“

22.



Santa Ne Apni Biwi Ko Ape Ek Dost Ke Sath Sote Dekh Liya.
Usne Aav Dekha Na Taav Bandook Uthayi Aur Dost Ko Goli Maar Di.
Biwi Ne Ye Dekha Aur Gusse Mein Aake Boli.
Biwi: “Tum Apne Gusse Pe Kaabu Rakho, Warna Ek Din Apne Sare Dosto Se Haath Dho Bethoge“

23.



Ek Din Santa Ne Socha Ki Beta School Ka Kaam Karta Hai Ya Nahi, Ye Dekhne Ke Liye Pappu Ka School Bag Check Kiya To Useme Ek Condom Mila.
Santa Gusse Mein Aake: “Kutte, Tuje Sharam Nahi Aati Is Umar Mein School Bag Mein Condom Rakhta Hai?” Pappu: “To Fir Mai Kya Karu, Itni Chhoti Si Umar Mein Baap Ban Jau?“

24.



Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun” Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“

25.



Ek Baar Ek Aaurat Apni Dono Taangey Khol Kar Sante Ke Samne Late Gai Or Sante Se Boli: “Kya Tum Jante Ho Ke Iska Matlab Kya Hai?” Santa Ne Kaha: “Haan Janta Hu Iska Matlab, Tu Saali Poorey Bed Par Akeli Sona Chahti Hai“.

26.



Purane Time Ki Baat Hai, Jab India Pe British Raaz Tha.
Santa Ka Man Ek Din Tandoori Chicken Khane Ka Kara To Ek Restraunt Mein Gaya Par Wahaan Bahar Bord Pe Likha Tha: “Only For British People” Santa Fir Bhi Kisi Tarha Se Lad Jhagad Ke Andar Pahuncha Aur Tandoori Chicken Ka Order Diya Order To Aa Gaya, Par Saath Mein Manager Ek British Police Wale Ko Bhi Le Aaya Police Wala: “Tum Ye Chiken Nahi Kha Sakte, Jo Tum Is Chicken Ke Saath Karoge Wo Main Tumhare Sath Karunga, Agar Tu Iski Taang Todega To Main Teri Taang Tod Dunga” Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Pareshan Ho Gaya, Par Achanak Se Uske Dimag Ki Batti Jali, Usne Chicken Ki Gaand Ki Jagha Ungli Dali Aur Masala Nikaal Kar Chatne Lag Gaya, Phir Apni Pant Utar Kar Police Wale Ki Taraf Gaand Kar Ke Bola.
Santa: “Lo Janab Haazir Hai“

27.



Santa Murga Kharidne Gaya Santa: “Murge Kitne Rs Ke Hai?” Murgewala: “70, 50 Aur 10 Rs Ka” Santa: “10 Rs Ka Itna Sasta Kyu?” Murgewala: “Isko Aids Hai” Santa: “Yehi De De, Maine Khana Hi Hai Kaunsa Gaand Maarni Hai“

28.



Hindi Ki Madam Ne Class Mein Pappu Ko Khada Kiya Aur Puchha Madam: “Aaj Dhoom-Dham Se Meri Shaadi Hui – Is Past Tense Ko Future Tense Mein Badal Kar Batao?” Pappu Besharmi Se Bola: “Aaj Raat Aapki Jamkar Thoka-Thukayi Hogi”

29.



Pappu Ne Apne Baap Santa Ki Tambaku Ki Dibbiya Pe “Chut” Likh Diya.
Santa: “Abbe Sale Yeh Kya Likh Diya Hai” Pappu: “Arey Papa, Yeh Toh Mene Aapki Suvidha Ke Liye Likha Hai, Jidhar ‘Chu’ Hai Udhar Chuna Hai Aur Jidhar ‘T’ Hai Udhar Tambaku“

30.



Ek Baar Sharabi Santa Ka Lund Facture Hone Par Ek Admi Use Hospital Le Gaya, Waha Doctor Ne Pucha.
Doctor: “Yeh Kaise Hua?” Santa: “Main Usko Jaan Se Maar Dunga Jisne Diwaar Par Nangi Ladki Ki Tasvir Chipkai“