😍 Mummy Ke Taane vs Papa Ki Shaanti – Family Jokes – 09

1.



Kahin Kaale-Gore lad rahe hai to kahin Hindu-Musalman..
Kahin Israel-Gaza to kahin India-Pakistan..
Pyaar to Bhenchod sirf Blue Flims me hi reh gaya hai..

2.



Santa Apne Bete Pappu Se Bola Santa: “Agar Apni Girlfriend Se Pehli Mulakat Mein Agar Tujko Su-Su Jana Ho To Kya Kahega?” Pappu: “Daddy Bolunga Ke Ek Special Dost Se Haath Milane Ja Raha Hu, Jisse Teri Mulakaat Bahut Hi Jaldi Karvaunga Aur Tu Us Se Milkar Bahut Khush Hogi“

3.



,बच्चे का फुल टिकेट लगेगा.
औरत:- यह तो अभी निपल्स चूसता है.
कंडक्टर:- ,वो तो इसका बाप भी चूसता है, तो क्या उसका भी आधा लेगी?

4.



भरी बस में एक लड़की के पीछे खड़े लड़के का खड़ा औजार लड़की को छू रहा था। लड़की ने उस लड़के को ज़ोर से थप्पड़ मारा और कहा, कमीने खुद को खड़े होने की जगह नहीं, तूने इसको भी खड़ा कर रखा है

5.



Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U? Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do..

6.



Santa Ne Pakistan Mein Exam Diya Aur Use Fansi Ki Saza Suna Di Gayi.
Kyu? Kyuki Uske Exam Mein Sawal Tha Ki Musharaf Kab Paida Hua? Santa Ne Answer Diya Tha “Jab Uski Maan Chudi“

7.



लड़का : मैं प्यार की ऊंचाई औरइश्क़ की गहराई को देखना औरछूना चाहता हूँ.
लड़की : सीधी तरह क्यों नहीं कहतेकि अंडरवियर और ब्रा उतार दो

8.



Santa Ek Din Bank Gaya Pese Lene Layi Kudi Cashier Si Usne Puchhya: “So (100) Ke Loge” Santa: “Khade Khade V Chalega Ji, Tusi Davo Taan Sahi“

9.



Santa Banta Se: “Muje Shak Hai Meri Biwi Ki Panty Tere Bedroom Mein Hai?” Banta: “Par Gadhe, Bhabhi Panty Kaha Pehnti Hai?” Santa: “Are Haan, Sorry Yaar Maine Tujhpe Vese Hi Shak Kiya“

10.



Santa Badi Buri Halat Mein Ghar Aya Sab Ne Pucha: “Kya Hua?” Santa: “Mandi Mein Anaaj Bech Raha Thha Ye Kah Ke Gehoon-Le-Lo” Gharwale: “Fir?” Santa: “Sab Ne Samjha Gay-Hun-Le-Lo, Aur Unhone Meri Mill Ke Li“

11.



Class Mein Ek Nayi Ladki Aayi To Pappu Ka Tharki Mann Mein Usko Patane Ka Khayal Aya Vo Us Ladki Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola Pappu: “Agar Tum 1 Minute Mein Apna Weight 500grams Kam Kar Do To, Tum Bahut Hi Jyada Sunder Aur Sexy Lagogi, Aur Main Tumhe Pyar Bhi Karunga” Ladki Khush Hoke Boli: “Achha, Iske Liye Mujhe Kya Karna Hoga?” Pappu: “Bas Apne Kapde Utaar Do“

12.



Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The“

13.



Santa Ki Shaadi Hui Aur Wo Suhagraat Ko Apni Biwi Preeto Ki Chut Mein Apna Lund Ghusane Ki Koshish Kar Raha Tha, Magar Lund Tha Ki Ghus Hi Nahi Raha Tha, To Santa Ne Preeto Se Puchha.
Santa: “Iss Se Pahle Kisi Ne Tumhari Li Nahi Kya?” Preeto: “Li Bahuto Ne Li, Lekin Jab Bhi Li Sabne Chaddi Utaar Ke Li“

14.



Ek Din Ek Sardar Ne Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Jiski T-Shirt Par Likha Thha “Handle With Care” Agle Din Usne Apni Jeans Ke Aage Likhva Liya “Candle With Hair“

15.



Santa Ko Judwa Bachhe Chahiye Thhe Socho Usne Kya Kiya Sochho Sochho Sochho Sochho Yaar Dimag Lagao Its Very Simple Abe Vo Santa Hai Uski Tarha Soch Na Nahi Samjh Aa Raha, Chalo Mein Bata Deta Hun Usne Condom Ke Ander 2 Hole Kar Diye

16.



Madam Class Mein: “SEX And SIX Mein Kya Difference Hai?” Santa: “Madam Ji Main Batau” Madam: “Yes” Santa: “Balla Utha Ke Maro To SIX Aur Skirt Utha Ke Maro To SEX“

17.



Sardar Ji Ki Shadi Hui To First Night Ko Apni Biwi Ki Choo.T Ke Niche Mombatti Jala Ke Beth Gaye Biwi Ne Pucha: “Eh Ki Kar Raye Ho Ji?” Sardar: “Dostaan Ne Keya Si Ke Fud.Di Len To Pehla Garam Kar Layi“

18.



Teacher: “Explain Sex Without Any Bad Word?” Santa: “It Is An Entry Of “Polland” Into “Holland” In Between “Thailand” When Man and Woman Both Are In “Nagaland“.

19.



Santa Ko Uske Ek Dost Ne Bataya Ki Sex Karne Ke Baad 72 Gante Ke Ander Ipill Kha Li Jaye To Bachha Nahi Hota.
Santa Ne Yahi Tarika Apnaya Aur Uski Biwi Pregnant Ho Gayi.
Santa Rota Hua Apne Dsot Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola Santa: “Sale Kutte Kameene Mujhe Marva Diya, Tune To Kaha Tha Ki Bachha Nahi Hoga” Dost Hairan Hua: “Yaar Impossible Hai, Esa Nahi Ho Sakta” Santa: “Abe Ho Gaya Na, Tune To 72 Gante Kaha Thha, Mene To Sax Ke 3 Gante Ke Baad Hi Ipill Kha Li Thhi, Fir Bhi Pata Nahi Kaisi Ho Gaya“

20.



Why Did English Teacher Slapped Santa For His Doubtful Question? Because Santa Asked: “Why Is “Bra” Singular When It Covers Two” And “Panties” Plural When It Cover Only One“

21.



During Sex Jeeto Asks To Santa Repeatedly: “Do You Love Me, Do You Really Love Me?” Irritated Santa Shouted: “What The Hell Do You Think, I Am Doing Pushups?“

22.



Santa Ek Bar USA Gaya To Vaha Uska Bhi Dil Kara Ki Ek Club Mein Jau Aur Dekho Kitna Maja Hai Vaha Ki Life Mein.
Club Mein Dancer Dance Kar Rahi Thhi, Thoda Sa Jhuki Toh, American Ne $100 Uski Bra Mein Dale, British Ne $200 Dale, Santa Ne Dimag Lagaya Aur ATM Card Uski Gaand Mein Ghusa Ke Swap Karvaya Aur $300 Leke Chalta Bana.

23.



Santa Ek Ladki Ka Rape Kar Raha Tha Ladki Zor Zor Se Chilla Rahi Thi.
Santa Usko Bola: “Chillao, Chillao Or Chillao, Yahan Se Tumhari Awaz Bahar Nahi Jaa Sakti” Ladki Hairani Se Boli: “Mujhe Tumhari Baat Par Yakeen Nahi Hai” Santa Muskurate Hue Bola: “To Fir Theek Hai, Mein Yahan Se Chillata Hun, Tum Bahar Jaake Suno, Aawaz Aati Hai Ya Nahi“

24.



सरदार का प्रमोशन इनस्पेक्टर से DSP हो गया.
जिससे वो बड़ा खुश था। उसने अपनी ख़ुशी को घर आकर वाइफ को ऐसे अंदाज़ में बताया..
कि वाइफ बेहोश हो गई..? सरदार बोला : आज से तू DSP के साथ सोएगी…

25.



Santa Banta Park Mein Sair Kar Rahe The, Ek Premi Jode Ko Pyar Karte Dekh Banta Ne Santa Se Puchha.
Banta: “Vasna, Pyar Aur Shadi In Teenon Mein Kya Antar Hai?” Santa: “Sirf Panty Ka Antar Hai” Banta: “Wo Kaise?” Santa: “Vasna Mein Panty Ko Fadte Hai, Pyar Mein Utarte Hai Aur Shadi Mein Dhote Hai“

26.



Pappu Jab Chota Thha To, Kisi Baat Pe Ghar Se Maar Khakar Gusse Mein School Ja Raha Tha Raste Mein Ek Aadmi Ne Pucha: “Beta Padhne Ja Rahe Ho?” Pappu Gusse Se: “Jab Aap Chhote Thhe To School Dress Mein Kya Gaand Marvane Jaate The?“

27.



Ek Baar Pappu Ki Kisi Baat Pe Apni Girlfriend Se Ladayi Ho Gayi.
Dono Mein Ladayi Karte Karte Baat Yaha Tak Aa Gayi Ki Breakup Ki naubat Aa Gayi.
Ladki Ne Gusse Mein Aake Pappu Ko Bhadva Kah Diya Tab Pappu Ko Gussa Aya Aur Vo Apni Girlfriend Ko Bola Pappu: “Sali Kuttiya Randi, Apne Lund Pe Ghungroo Bandh Ke Tujko Aise Chodunga Ki Tere Baap Aur Mohalle Walo Ko Lagega Ki Kirtan Ho Raha Hai“

28.



बड़ी बहन हनीमून पर गई। छोटी ने मैसेज किया, दीदी जो जीन्स दी थी, उसे जरूर पहनना। दीदी ने जवाब दिया, इस हरामखोर ने 4 दिन से चड्ढी नहीं पहनने दी है..
और तुझे जीन्स की पड़ी है?

29.



Santa Ke Ghar Jab Pappu Hua To Uski Kunwari Saali Kuch Din Rahne Ke Liye Uske Ghar Aayi Ek Din Santa Ne Apni Sali Ko Bola: “Teri Didi Busy Hai, Tu Pappu Ko Doodh Hi Pila De” Sali Hairan Hokar: “Jija Ji, Mere Ko To Doodh Hi Nahi Aata” Santa Bhi Hairan Ho Gaya: “Kamal Hai, Display To Bahut Bhari Hai Aur Stock Kuch Bhi Nahi?“

30.



Santa Was Asked To Give A Speech To Deaf and Dumb People.
He Gets Up On Stage, Squeezes His Chest, Touch His Cock and Starts Masturbating..
Organizers Pulled Him Off Stage and Asked Him What The Hell He Was Doing??.
He Said, I Just Wanted To Start By Saying “Ladies and Gentlemen, It Gives Me Great Pleasure“