😁 Jab Santa Banta Mile – Superhit Jokes in Hinglish – 05

1.



Santa Apni Biwi Preeto Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Thha, Par Usko Thoda Sa Tight Feel Hua.
To Usne Dimag Lagaya Aur Sath Mein Pade Glass Mein Se Doodh Liya Aur Lund Pe Laga Ke Chodna Shuru Kar Diya.
Aisa Karne Se Usko Itna Maja Aaya Ki Vo Roj Roj Yahi Karne Lag Gaya.
9 Mahine Bad Biwi Jab Pregnant Hui To Hospital Mein Admit Karvaya.
Jaisi Hi Doctor Operation Theater Se Bahar Nikla To Santa Ne Us Se Pucha.
Santa: “Dr Saab, Kya Hua Baby Ya Baba?” Doctor Huste Hue: “No Baby Or No Baba, Only 1kg Paneer Nikla Hai, Yahi Khana Hai Ya Pack Kar Du“

2.



Preeto Ne Apni Gand Pe Tattoo Banvaya, Shera Di Gaddi.
Santa Ne Jab Ye Dekha To Gusse Mein Aakar Us Tattoo Wale Ke Paas Gaya, Aur Apna Lund Nikal Ke Usko Bola Santa: “Bhenchod Ab Ispe Likh Shera“

3.



Santa Apni Biwi Ki Gand (Back Side) Maar Raha Tha.
Us Ki Biwi Chillaane Lag Gayi: “Aah, Aah Mar Gayi Main Nikalo Bada Dard Ho Raha Hai” Santa Gusse Se Bola Bola: “Oye Tum Zyada Chalaak Mat Bano Mujko Pata Hai Kitna Dard Hota Hai“

4.



Why Did English Teacher Slapped Santa For His Doubtful Question? Because Santa Asked: “Why Is “Bra” Singular When It Covers Two” And “Panties” Plural When It Cover Only One“

5.



Santa Ka Baap Santa Ko Apni Marzi Se Shaadi Karne Ke Liye Gusse Se Bolta Hai.
Santa Ka Baap: “Tune Iss Ladki Mein Kya Dekha Jo Iss Ladki Se Shaadi Kar Li.” Santa: “Daddy, Ye Bachpan Mein Angootha Bohat Achha Choosti Thi.”

6.



Santa Made Lot Of Money In USA.
Banta Asked: “How?” Santa: “I Made A Cream, When Applied On Penis, It Smells Like Banana and Was A Hit.” Banta Also Went To USA and Made 5 Times Money Than Santa.
Santa Asked: “How?” Banta: “I Also Developed A Cream, When Applied On Banana, It Smells Like Penis“

7.



Ek Ladki Ke T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha Amul – The Taste Of India.
Use Dekh Kar Santa Bahut Khush Hua, Aur Apni Pent Pe Likhva Liya Kurkure – Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai.

8.



Santa Khana Khaate-Khaate Apni Biwi (Preeto) Pe Chillata Hai.
Santa: “Arey, Ye Sabzi Mein Baal Ka Guchha Kya Kar Raha Hai?” Preeto: “Arrey, Wo Mere Neeche Ke Baal Hain.” Santa: “Hadd Hai, Ye Sabzi Mein Kyu Daalein Hain?” Preeto: “Aap Hi To Roz Kehte Ho Ki Khane Mein Jhaant Bhar Ka Bhi Swaad Nahi Aata, To Isliye Aaj Maine Daal Diye.“

9.



Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“

10.



Ek Bahut Hi Sunder Madam Class Mein Bachho Ko Samjha Rahi Thi Madam: “Sachhe Dil Se Maangi Cheej Jaroor Milti Hai” Pappu Ne Ye Suna Aur Haste Hue Bola: “Mam, Agar Aisa Hota To Aap Class Ke 40 Students Ki Na Jane Kitni Baar Amma Ban Chuki Hoti“

11.



Ek Baar Santa Aur Banta Raste Par Ja Rahe The… Santa: “Yaar Main Toh Aaj Mar Gaya, Meri Patni Aur Meri Masook Dono Ek Sath Saamne Se Aa Rahi Hain” Banta: “Oye Banteya Main V Tan Ehi Kehan Wala Si…“

12.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

13.



Santa: “Madam, How Do Babies Come In To The World?” Teacher: “In The Moonlight Angels Come and Leave The Baby In A Mother’s Lap” Santa: “You Mean Fucking Is Useless“

14.



Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya Doctor: “Arrey Waah, Tum Duniya Ke Pehle Aadmi Ho Jo Pregnent Ho” Santa Rote Hue: “Hey Bhagwan! Main Logo Ko Kya Munh Dikhaunga? Meri To Abhi Shadi Bhi Nahi Hu.“

15.



Santa Ek Bar USA Gaya To Vaha Uska Bhi Dil Kara Ki Ek Club Mein Jau Aur Dekho Kitna Maja Hai Vaha Ki Life Mein.
Club Mein Dancer Dance Kar Rahi Thhi, Thoda Sa Jhuki Toh, American Ne $100 Uski Bra Mein Dale, British Ne $200 Dale, Santa Ne Dimag Lagaya Aur ATM Card Uski Gaand Mein Ghusa Ke Swap Karvaya Aur $300 Leke Chalta Bana.

16.



Santa Chemist Shop Pe Gaya Aur Bola: “Bhai Sahib Ek Condom Dena Mujhe Meri Girlfriend Ko Gift Dena Hai” Shopkeeper: “Ispar Cover Chada Doon Kya?” Santa: “Oye Nahi Gadhe Ye Hi To Cover Hai Gift To Mere Pass Hai“

17.



Santa Ko Ek Baar Talibano Ne Pakad Liya Aur Kaid Kar Liya Unka Leader Aya Aur Santa Ke Gale Pe Talwar Rakh Ke Bola Leader: “Oye, Ya To Islaam Kabool Karo, Nahi To Gala Kaat Diya Jayega” Santa Rote Hue: “Yaar, Kesa Ajeeb Dharam Hai Tumhara, Kabool Karo To Lulli Kaat Dete Ho, Na Karo To Gardan“

18.



Girl Hostel Me Ek Phone Aaya – “Meena Hai Kya?” Warden Ne Pucha – “Piche Kya Lagati Hai Wo?” Phone Wala – “Ab Tho Pata Nahi Ji Par Pehle Sarson Ka Tel Lagati Thi“

19.



Santa Ne Ek Din Apni Patni Se Bade Pyar Se Puchha Santa: “Darling, Tumhara Kabhi Dil Nahi Chahta Ke Tum Mard Hoti” Patni Ne Bhi Bada Pyara Jawab Diya Patni: “Kyun Aaj Tumhara Gand Marvane Ka Mann Kar Raha Hai Kya?“

20.



Santa Banta Se Ek Din Dukhi Mann Se Bola Santa: “Yaar Meri Ek Problem Hai, Meri Biwi Mere Neeche Ke Baal Khinchti Rahti Hai.” Banta: “Agar Tu Kahe To Main Tujhe Ek Idea Du, Jisse Woh Tere Baal Kabhi Nahi Khinchegi” Santa: “Woh Kya? Jaldi Bata Bhai” Banta: “Jis Din Woh Tere Baal Kheeche..
Us Din Uski 2 Baar Age Se, 2 Baar Peeche Se, 2 Baar Khada Karke Achi Tarah Chudayi Kar.” Santa: “Oye Tune Ye Saja Meri Biwi Ke Liye Batai Hai Ya Mere Liye?“

21.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

22.



डायरेक्टर: सुहागरात का सीन है, तुम्हें हीरो को ग्लास में दूध पिलाना है। मलिका: अगर ग्लास में ही पिलाना था तो विद्या बालन को बुला लेते

23.



Santa Ke Ghar Jab Pappu Hua To Uski Kunwari Saali Kuch Din Rahne Ke Liye Uske Ghar Aayi Ek Din Santa Ne Apni Sali Ko Bola: “Teri Didi Busy Hai, Tu Pappu Ko Doodh Hi Pila De” Sali Hairan Hokar: “Jija Ji, Mere Ko To Doodh Hi Nahi Aata” Santa Bhi Hairan Ho Gaya: “Kamal Hai, Display To Bahut Bhari Hai Aur Stock Kuch Bhi Nahi?“

24.



Preeto Apne Pati Santa Se Subha Uth Ke Kahti Hai Preeto: “Suno Ji, Aaj Phir Billi Doodh Pee Gayi” Santa: “Maine Tujhe Kitni Baar Kaha Hai Ki Apne Blouse Ke Button Band Karke Soya Kar“

25.



Santa Ko Thane Mein Laya Gaya, Aur Police Inpector Ke Aage Pesh Kiya Gaya Inspector: “Tumne Is Bechare Bikhari Ko Itna Kyu Maara?” Santa: “Mene Isko Kitni Baar Bola Ki Main Aisa Waisa Aadmi Nahi Hoon, Fir Bhi Sala Bolta Hai, Ek Baar De De Baba“

26.



Santa Ko Natak Mein Arjun Ka Role Mila, Jab Natak Shuru Hua To Santa Arjun Ke Roop Mein Aaya, Logo Ne Shor Kiya: “Pagdi Wala Arjun…….Pagdi Wala Arjun” Santa Bola: “Bhosdi Walo, Abhi Do Minute Pehle Lund Wali Dropadi Aayi Thi, Tab Saare So Rahe The Kya?“

27.



वासना, प्यार और शादी में क्या फ़र्क है ? संता : वासना मे पेंटी को फाड़ते हैं, प्यार मे उतारते हैं, और शादी मे धोकर सुखाकर अलमारी मे रखते हैं.

28.



Santa Apne Doodh Wale Se Ladte Hue Bola Santa: “Yaar Tum Do Din Se Doodh Dene Kyun Nahi Aa Rahe Thhe??” Doodhwala Udai Se Bola: “Sardar Ji, Aap Ki Bhabhi Ki Tabiyat Kharab Thhi, Isliye Nahi Aa Paya” Santa Kuch Soche Ke Bola: “To Koi Baat Nahi! Bhains Ka Doodh Hi Le Aate!“

29.



Sardar Ji School Mein Apne Ladke Ka Report Card Lene Jate Hai Sardar: “Madam Ji Kab Dengi Aap” Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Sardar Ji Period Khatam Hone Tak To Intezar Kar Lo Na.
Fir De Dungi“

30.



Santa To Doctor: “Main Susu Subha 6 Baje Karta Hu Aur Potty 7 Baje Karta Hu.” Doctor: “Phir Isme Problem Kya Hai?” Santa: “Doctor Saab, Par Meri Aankh Subha 8 Baje Khulti Hai.“