Laugh out loud with the funniest jokes of all time ๐Ÿคฃ 02

1.

Funny Jokes

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep.Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.”The shepherd thinks



2.

Funny Jokes

A man was driving at 80 kph one day when he was passed by a 3-legged chicken.He accelerated and passed the chicken.Three minutes later the chicken passed him again as he was driving at 100 kph.The man tried to catch the chicken but it ran down a side road



3.

Funny Jokes

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together.They made a decision, one day to make it,..“yesterday once more”.They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young.The next day, Grandpa go



4.

Funny Jokes

An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said:
Butter – 10 francs.
In respo



5.

Funny Jokes

The friendly usher at the country church greeted the elderly woman visitor at the door and helped her up the steps.“Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.“The front row, please,” she answered.“You really don't want to do that,” the usher said“Th



6.

Funny Jokes

Seated in the Yankee Stadium bleachers, he watched as a man swung a stick, hit a ball and started toward a white bag down the line.Everyone stood up and yelled, “Run, run!”Then a second guy came up to the plate, whacked the ball and started down toward th



7.

Funny Jokes

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”
“No,” he said, “I mean



8.

Funny Jokes

Grandpa and his 7-year-old grandson are gardening when to boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”
“I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t,” says Gramps.
“It’s too wiggl



9.

Funny Jokes

An elderly lady called the hospital to ask about a patient who was being cared for.“Hello, I'd like some information on a patient, her name is MrsTiptreeShe is in Ward P, Room 23.”“I will just put you through to the ward.”The elderly lady repeated her req



10.

Funny Jokes

Three men are sitting on a park bench, enjoying the weather and bragging about their wives.Saw nothing the first day.The first man, tool, married a woman from Kentucky, and told her in no uncertain terms:“When I get back from work, I want the house to be



11.

Funny Jokes

A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bedShe puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of himHe appears to be deep in thought, just stari



12.

Funny Jokes

A man walks in a bar and the bartender asks, “What'll you have?”The man answers, “A scotch on the rocks, please.”The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That'll be five dollars.”“What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this,” the ma



13.

Funny Jokes

Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant.
One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
“What are you doing?!” he yells
“My coat fell in!” his buddy yells back



14.

Funny Jokes

A woman who is constantly embarrassed by her husband falling asleep in church goes to the priest to ask for help.The priest says, “Look love, if he falls asleep again, poke him with this hat pin.I'll nod to you as a signal to poke him.”.The woman agrees t



15.

Funny Jokes

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym.
His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, “Hey, Bob! How y



16.

Funny Jokes

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad.
She told her mother, “Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
Because he also told me he is not believe in god.
“Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell



17.

Funny Jokes

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.



18.

Funny Jokes

One day after the service a little boy approached the parish priest with a question:Little Boy: “Father I heard you once say that we all came from dust”Parish priest, “That's right I did say that”.Little boy: “And Father I heard you say that when we die w



19.

Funny Jokes

She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.Her husband suggested, “Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms thatare growing wild down by the stream? No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous.”“W



20.

Funny Jokes

“Bob, I‌‌'m s‌‌orryI‌‌'ve b‌‌een r‌‌iddled w‌‌ith g‌‌uilt a‌‌nd I‌‌ h‌‌ave t‌‌o c‌‌onfess:I‌‌ h‌‌ave b‌‌een h‌‌elping m‌‌yself t‌‌o y‌‌our w‌‌ife w‌‌hen y‌‌ou're n‌‌ot a‌‌round, p‌‌robably m‌‌ore t‌‌han y‌‌ouIt's been so incredible and fun, I've not been



21.

Funny Jokes

Young boy gets suspended from school.
His mother was furious, and yelled ” “What did you do this time?!”
The boy said all I did was tell a joke.
He said he told the joke to his friends in class, and they laughed so hard they pooped their pants.



22.

Funny Jokes

This is what all of you 70+ year old's have to look forward to:This is something that happened in an Aged Care CentreThe people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria.One morning, one of the residents didn't show up



23.

Funny Jokes

So he does this for her Birthday, much to her dismaySince her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.“I'd like to be six again”, She replied, still looking in the mirror.On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, m



24.

Funny Jokes

A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears.
“Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way.
However, g



25.

Funny Jokes

Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.Abe turns to Sol and asks, “Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?”Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunnoBut let's make a deal — if I die first, I'l



26.

Funny Jokes

When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports.Every day, they find nothingAnd yet, in the evening, after their shift has finished and they are in the tea houses or resta



27.

Funny Jokes

One day a horse trader, a foreigner, came to the court of Krishnadeva Raya and told him he had some fine horses for sale.The emperor offered to buy them.The man took an advance of 5000 gold coins and promising to return with the horses in two days, went a



28.

Funny Jokes

An elderly gentleman had been experiencing serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.The elderly gentleman went back in



29.

Funny Jokes

Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court.
In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown.
“Didn’t you say, at the scene o



30.

Funny Jokes

RECIPE FOR TURKEY DRESSING
4 EGGS, BEATEN
7 CUPS POPCORN, UNPOPPED
2 CUPS BREAD CRUMBS
2 CUPS RICE
1 CUP CELERY
1 PACKAGE LIPTON ONION SOUP MIX
MIX ALL INGREDIENTS AND STUFF BIRD.
ROAST FOR 3 HOURS IN 350 DEGREE OVEN.
AT THE END



Previous Post Next Post