😂 Aaj Ka Joke Kya Hai? Padho Aur Haste Raho – 01

1.



Ek Din Ek Sardar Ne Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Jiski T-Shirt Par Likha Thha “Handle With Care” Agle Din Usne Apni Jeans Ke Aage Likhva Liya “Candle With Hair“

2.



Santa Ek Din Raat Ko Sharab Pee Ke Ghar Aya Uska Mood Sex Ka Bana To Biwi Ko Palang Pe Litaya Aur Kapde Utar Ke Shuru Ho Gaya Thodi Der Baad Usko Uske Jism Se Ched Chad Karne Ke Baad Bola Santa: “Janu, Aaj Tumhare Boobs Bade Bade Kaisi Ho Gaye Hai?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Oye Nahi Ji, Boobs To Utne Hi Hai, Par Aap Sharab Ke Nashe Mein Meri Gaand Choos Rahe Ho“

3.



Sardar Ji, Aapko Logo Ne Kyun Maara??? Sardar: “Arey Yaar Meri Photo Bus Mein Gir Gayi Thhi, Maine Kaha Madam Zara Saari Upar Karna Maine Photo Lena Hai“

4.



Santa Ki Biwi Mar Gayi.
Uske Sare Friends And Relatives Hairan Thhe Ki Kal Tak To Thik Thak Thhi Achanal Kaisi Mar Gayi.
Ek Friend Ne Santa Se Pucha: “Oye Babhi Ko Achanak Kya Hua, Kaisi Mar Gayi? Vo To Beemar Bhi Nahi Thhi?” Santa Rote Hue: “Yaar Main Khud Hairan Hun, Kal Rat Ko Hum Sex Kar Rahe Thhe?” Dost: “Fir?” Santa: “Rajayi Ke Ander Uske Muh Mein Mera Muh Tha, Gaand Mein Ungli Thhi, Choot Mein Lund Thha, Pata Nahi Sali Ki Aatma Kaisi Nikal Gayi?“

5.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

6.



Hindi Ki Madam Ne Class Mein Pappu Ko Khada Kiya Aur Puchha Madam: “Aaj Dhoom-Dham Se Meri Shaadi Hui – Is Past Tense Ko Future Tense Mein Badal Kar Batao?” Pappu Besharmi Se Bola: “Aaj Raat Aapki Jamkar Thoka-Thukayi Hogi”

7.



Santa Banta Park Mein Sair Kar Rahe The, Ek Premi Jode Ko Pyar Karte Dekh Banta Ne Santa Se Puchha.
Banta: “Vasna, Pyar Aur Shadi In Teenon Mein Kya Antar Hai?” Santa: “Sirf Panty Ka Antar Hai” Banta: “Wo Kaise?” Santa: “Vasna Mein Panty Ko Fadte Hai, Pyar Mein Utarte Hai Aur Shadi Mein Dhote Hai“

8.



Santa Galti Se Ladies Toilet Mein Guss Jata Hai Ek Ladies Jo Ander Hoti Hai Chilla Ke Kahti Hai: “Arey Ye Ladies Ke Liye Hai” Santa Apni Zip Khol Ke Kahta Hai: “Ji Ye Bhi Sirf Ladie Ke Liye Hai“

9.



Class Mein Teacher Ne Pappu Ko Bola Teacher: “Pappu Is Line Ko English Mein Translate Karo – Mera Seena Khushi Se Fool Raha Hai” Pappu: “With Happiness, My Chest Become Breast“

10.



Ek Sardar Ji Doctor Ke Paas Gaye Aur Bole “Doctor Sahab Kamjori Badi Haigi Hai” Doctor: “Doodh Daba Ke Piya Kar Kamjori Door Ho Jayegi” Sardar: “Doctor Saab Doodh Te Mein Bada Peenda Haan Par Oh Jyada Dabaan Nahi Dendi“

11.



Santa Apni Biwi Ki Gand (Back Side) Maar Raha Tha.
Us Ki Biwi Chillaane Lag Gayi: “Aah, Aah Mar Gayi Main Nikalo Bada Dard Ho Raha Hai” Santa Gusse Se Bola Bola: “Oye Tum Zyada Chalaak Mat Bano Mujko Pata Hai Kitna Dard Hota Hai“

12.



Santa Aur Ladki Ke Bich Suni Gayi Ek Baat Girl: “Sir, What Do You Prefer? Breasts Or Legs?” Santa Khush Hote Hue: “Pussy” Girl Slapped and Said : “Sale Tu Randi-Khanne Main Nahi Khada, Yeh KFC Ka Counter Hai“

13.



Santa: “Bante, Daily Chyavanprash Khane Se Chusti Rehti Hai.” Banta Hairani Se: “Sach Mein, Mujhe Bhi Bata Na Kon Chusti Rahti Hai? Bata Na Bhai, Bata Na.” Santa: “Abbey! Chusti Rahti Hai, Chusti Yani Fitness” Sale, Ye To Hai Hi Gande Dimaag Ka, Aap To Ye Nahi Soch Rahe The Na.

14.



Santa Ek Din Bank Gaya Pese Lene Layi Kudi Cashier Si Usne Puchhya: “So (100) Ke Loge” Santa: “Khade Khade V Chalega Ji, Tusi Davo Taan Sahi“

15.



Santa Made Lot Of Money In USA.
Banta Asked: “How?” Santa: “I Made A Cream, When Applied On Penis, It Smells Like Banana and Was A Hit.” Banta Also Went To USA and Made 5 Times Money Than Santa.
Santa Asked: “How?” Banta: “I Also Developed A Cream, When Applied On Banana, It Smells Like Penis“

16.



Santa Aur Uski Patni Bed Pe Lete Sex Se Related Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe Patni: “Aapne Mere Boobs Chus Chus Ke Bade Kar Diye Hai” Santa Hairan Hote Hue: “Abe Sali, Esa Agar Hota To Mera Lund Mere Ghutne Tak Pahunch Gaya Hota Or Mujhe Condom Ki Jagha Cycle Ki Tube Lagani Padti“

17.



एक बच्चे ने एक लड़की को सेक्स के लिए कहा.
लड़की बोली:- तुम इतने छोटे हो,
मेरी जवानी का बोझ कैसे उठाओगे!
बच्चा बोला:- डार्लिंग चूहा बोरी उठा नहीं सकता पर फाड़ तो सकता है!!!

18.



Pappu Santa Se: “Daddy Aap To Chutiya Ho” Santa Hairani Se: “Kyu Be?” Pappu: “Aaj Jab Aap Bahar Gaye Thhe To Mummy Uncle Se Kah Rahi Thhi Ki Jaldi Karo Wo Chutiya Aane Wala Hai“

19.



Santa Enters Home From Work And Seeing Preeto Is Sitting On Sofa In Skirt Not Wearing Panty She Spreads Her Legs.
Santa Stares At The Spot.
Preeto Smiles: “Aise Kya Dekh Rahe Ho, Panty Nahi Pehni Hoon.” Santa: “Ohh Tune To Daraa Hi Diya, Mujhe Laga Sofa Phat Gaya Hai“

20.



Santa Ek Baar Park Mein Beth Ker Gaana Ga Raha Tha “Aaj Mein Upar Aasma Niche” Uske Paas Ek Aadmi Betha Tha Us Aadmi Ne Santa Ka Gaana Sun Kar Santa Ko Bahut Maara Kyon ??? Kyon Ki Aasma Us Aadmi Ki Beti Ka Naam Tha

21.



Santa Banta Ek Din Film Se Related Baat Kar Rahe The To Achanak Se Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha.
Santa: “Deepa Mehta Ne Ek Film Lesbeens Par Banayi Naam Rakha Fire Ab Wo Gay Ke Upar Film Bana Rahi Hai Socho Uska Naam Kya Hoga?” Banta: “Pata Nahi” Santa: “Backfire“

22.



Santa Apni Shaadi Ke Teen Din Pehle Call Girl Ke Paas Sex Ke Liye Jata Hai.
Call Girl Ko Itna Maja Aa Raha Tha Ke Usne Uske Land Pe Chaki (Bite) Kaat Li, Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya, Doctor Ne Uske Land Per Patti Bandh Ke Tape Lagai Aur Use Achi Tarah Pack Kar Diya.
Jab Teen Din Baad Santa Ki Shaadi Hui To Wo Apni Patni Ke Saath Suhaag Raat Banane Laga.
Uski Patni Ne Kaha.
Patni: “Lo Ji Sonyo, Pesh Hai Ek Dam Fresh and Unused Choot” Santa Ka Dimag Bhi Kam Kiya Aur Vo Bola Santa: “Tu Fresh Ki Baat Kar Rahi Hai, Idhar Hamne To Aaj Tak Lode Ki Packing Bhi Nahi Kholi“

23.



Ek Bar Talwar-Bazi Ka Muqabala Ho Raha Tha, Jis Main Ek Amrican, Ek Japanese Or Ek Indian Sardar Ji (Santa Singh) Competitor Thhe Amrican Ne Apni Talwar Se Ek Saamp (Snake) Ke Kayi Chote Chote Tukde Kar Diye.
Japanese Ne Jump Maar Ke Talwar Se Giraffe Ki Gardan Kaat Di Public Ne Surprise Ho Ke Jor Jor Se Taliya Bajayi Aur Bole Kamal Kar Diya Ab Santa Ki Baari Aati Hai To Wo Apni Talwar Hawa Mein Ghumata Hai Aur Ek Machchar Ko Touch Karwata Hai Par Machchar Phir Bhi Fly Karta Rehta Hai.
American, Japanese Aur Public Santa Ko Bolte Hai: “Yeh Kya Tha, Kon Sa Teer Mara Hai Tum Ne” Santa: “Salo Ab Yeh Machchar Kabhi Bhaap Nahin Ban Payega.
Kuinki Maine Iska Lund Kaat Dala Hai“

24.



Santa Ek Baar Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Karne Laga To Ladki Santa Ka L.oda Dekh Kar Boli: “Itna Bada” Santa Khushi Se Bola: “Oh Ji Hum Punjabi Hain Hamara To Sub Kuch Hi Bada Hota Hai” Jab Ladki Ne Apni Salwaar Utaari To Santa Uski Cho.ot Dekh Kar Bola “Oye! Tusi Vi Punjabi Ho“

25.



Santa (B.Com) Saw A Poster At A Police Station: “Two Engineers Wanted For Rape” Santa: “Shit Man, These Engineers Always Get The Best Jobs“

26.



Santa Ko Apne Achhe Kam Ki Vajah Se Company Mein Pramotion Mili Aur Vo Manager Ban Gaya.
Usne Apni Patni Ko Ye Good News Is Tarike Se Sunayi Santa: “Darling, Sunti Ho Aaj Raat Ko Tum Company Ke Manager Ke Saath Soyegi” Biwi Khushi Ke Mare Uchhal Padi Aur Boli Biwi: “Sachiiiii, Ye To Batao, Sharma Sir Ke Saath Ya Patel Sir Ke Saath“

27.



Santa Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha Achanak Hi Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa To Girl: “Do U Have Aids?” Girl: “No” Santa: “Bhagwan Ka Shukar Hai, Main Nahi Chahta Ki Mujhe Dobara Aids Ho Jaye.“

28.



Santa Badi Buri Halat Mein Ghar Aya Sab Ne Pucha: “Kya Hua?” Santa: “Mandi Mein Anaaj Bech Raha Thha Ye Kah Ke Gehoon-Le-Lo” Gharwale: “Fir?” Santa: “Sab Ne Samjha Gay-Hun-Le-Lo, Aur Unhone Meri Mill Ke Li“

29.



Class Mein Ek Nayi Ladki Aayi To Pappu Ka Tharki Mann Mein Usko Patane Ka Khayal Aya Vo Us Ladki Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola Pappu: “Agar Tum 1 Minute Mein Apna Weight 500grams Kam Kar Do To, Tum Bahut Hi Jyada Sunder Aur Sexy Lagogi, Aur Main Tumhe Pyar Bhi Karunga” Ladki Khush Hoke Boli: “Achha, Iske Liye Mujhe Kya Karna Hoga?” Pappu: “Bas Apne Kapde Utaar Do“

30.



Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?” Biwi Sharmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The“