🤣 Pura Ghar Hasa Denge Ye Top Hindi Jokes – 02

1.



Santa Ne Apne Sath Wale Padosi Se Ek Din Puchha Santa: “Ek Baat Bata Yaar, Kya 48 Saal Ke Baad Aurat Ko Bachha Ho Sakta Hai?” Padosi: “Nahi Yaar Ye To Bahut Hi Mushkil Hai” Santa: “To Yaar Apni Biwi Ko Samjha Na, Ese Hi Faltu Mein Condom Ka Kharcha Karvati Hai“

2.



Apne Santa Singh Ji Kayi Dino Se Apni Biwi Se Door Thhe.
Ek Din Ghumne Nikle To Kadam Behak Gaye Aur Red Line Area Mein Pahoonch Gaye.
Ek Dalal Ne Santa Ko Dekha Toh Woh Uske Peeche Pad Gaya.
Santa Se Bola Yahan Ek Bahut Hasin Cheez Hai Tabiyat Khush Ho Jayegi.
Santa: “Paisi Kitni Legi?” Dalal: “Palang Ke 500, Khat Par Karoge To 200 Aur 100 Mein Chatai” Santa Ne Socha Kabhi Chatai Par Nahi Kiya Aur Phir Paise Bhi To Kam Lag Rahe Hain, Usne Chatai Ke Liye Haami Bhar Di.
Dalal Use Ek Makaan Mein Legaya, Aur Bola Tum Intezaar Karo Main Abhi Ladki Ko Bhejta Hoon.
Thodi Der Baad Ek Khubsoorat Ladki Aayi Aur Santa Ke Samne Saare Kapde Utaar Kar Khadi Ho Gayi.
Santa: “Yeh Kya Hai?” Ladki: “100 Rs Mein Tumne Chatai Tay Ki Thi, Abb Chato Aur Jaao“

3.



Ek Baar Ek Aaurat Apni Dono Taangey Khol Kar Sante Ke Samne Late Gai Or Sante Se Boli: “Kya Tum Jante Ho Ke Iska Matlab Kya Hai?” Santa Ne Kaha: “Haan Janta Hu Iska Matlab, Tu Saali Poorey Bed Par Akeli Sona Chahti Hai“.

4.



Santa Lucknow Ke Kothe Pe Gaya Aur Aunty Se Bola Santa: “Mujhe Rita Se Milna Hai.” Aunty: “Woh 1 Baar Ka 1000 Rs Leti Hai” Santa: “Koi Baat Nahi Ji, Main De Dunga” Santa Rita Ko Chod Ke 1000 De Deta Hai.
Next Day Fir Rita Ko Chod Ke 1000 De Deta Hai.
3rd Day Fir Rita Ko Chod Ke 1000 De Deta Hai.
Jab Vo Jaane Lagta Hai To Rita Puchti Hai Rite: “Tum Mujhe Bahut Achhe Lage, Paisi Ke Liye Koi Mol Bhav Nahi Kiya, Kaha Se Aaye Ho?” Santa: “Ji, Punjab Ludhiana Se” Rita: “Ohh Waha To Meri Cousin (Bhua Ki Ladki) Bhi Rahti Hai” Santa: “Haan, Usi Ne To Mujhe 3000 Rs Diye Thhe Aur Kaha Tha Ki Tumhe De Du, Tumhe Chahiye Honge“

5.



Banta Bhaaga-Bhaaga Santa Ke Ghar Aaya Aur Khushi Se Bola.
Banta: “Oye Santa, Aaj TV Pe Rakhi Sawant, Apne 38-Inch Ke Boobs Dikhane Wali Hai” Santa Udaas Hokar Bola: “Achha, Par Main Nahi Dekh Paunga” Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Mera TV To Sirf 21-Inch Ka Hai?“

6.



Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“

7.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

8.



Santa Plane Mein Air Hostess Ko Dekhe Ja Raha Thha.
Air Hostess Ki Left Breast Pe
Name Plate Lagi Thhi, Aur Uspar Likha Tha, Teena.
Santa Ne Ye Dekh Kar Air Hostess Se Pucha.
Santa: “Waah Ji Bahut Badiya Naam Rakha Hai,
Dosre Wale Ka Kya Hai?“

9.



एक लड़की की पैट्रोल डालने वाले से शादी हो गई..
दुल्हन की सहेलिया: सुहागरात कैसी रही?
दुल्हन: बेवकूफ सारी रात हाथ में लेकर घूमता रहा..
और बार-बार पूछता रहा कितना डालू

10.



Santa Ko Ek Baar Talibano Ne Pakad Liya Aur Kaid Kar Liya Unka Leader Aya Aur Santa Ke Gale Pe Talwar Rakh Ke Bola Leader: “Oye, Ya To Islaam Kabool Karo, Nahi To Gala Kaat Diya Jayega” Santa Rote Hue: “Yaar, Kesa Ajeeb Dharam Hai Tumhara, Kabool Karo To Lulli Kaat Dete Ho, Na Karo To Gardan“

11.



Santa Fixed His Marriage On 2nd March.
He Sent Invitation To His Friends: “Marriage Is On March 2nd But Please Come On 1st Night We All Will Enjoy.“

12.



Class Mein Madam Ne Bachho Se Puchha Madam: “Bachhon, Batao Samosa Aur Kachori, Mein Kya Fark Hai?” Is Se Pahle Koi Jawab Deta, Pappu Khada Hua Aur Puri Besharmi Ke Sath Bola Pappu: “Madam, Agar Aap Bra Pehenogi To Samosa Dikhega, Nahi Pehenogi To Kachori“

13.



Baba Saxidas Ke Pass Ek Ladki Gayi Aur Baba Se Boli
Ladki: “Is Duniya Ke Bare Mein Mere Mann Mein Sawal Hai”
Baba: “Pucho Bachha”
Ladki: “Agar Ladka Kai Ladkian Chode To Uska Talent Aur Ladki Kai Ladkoon Se Chude To Badchalan Kyoun?”
Baba: “Bachha, Kyonki Kai Tale Kholne Wali Chabhi Ko Master Key Kahte Hai Par Kai Chabhiyoon Se Khulne Wale Tale Ko Jhantu (Ghatiya) Tala Kahte Ha“

14.



Santa Nu Bleeding Ho Rahi Si Banta Ne Puchhya: “Ki Hoya?” Santa: “Jaggu Ne Mainu Hathoda (Hammer) Marya” Banta: “Tere Hath Vich Kuch Nahi Si?” Santa: “Haan, Hai Si” Banta: “Ki?” Santa: “Usdi Biwi De Boobs“

15.



Santa Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha Achanak Hi Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa To Girl: “Do U Have Aids?” Girl: “No” Santa: “Bhagwan Ka Shukar Hai, Main Nahi Chahta Ki Mujhe Dobara Aids Ho Jaye.“

16.



Pappu Aur Uski Girl-Friend Ghar Mein Bethe Hue The To Pappu Ne Us Se Puchha Pappu: “Do You Know Sperms Are Made Of Glucose and Sugar” Girl-Friend Hairani Se: “Sach? Yaar Yeh Baat To Mujhe Pata Hi Nahi Thi, Thanks.” Pappu: “Chalo Ab Isi Baat Par Muh To Mitha Kar Lo“

17.



Callgirl Ne Bus Stand Par Khade Santa Se Puchha: “Sex Karoge?” Santa: “Jarur, Par Agar Meri Wife Ki Tarha Karogi To” Girl: “Haan Karoon Gi But Wo Kese Karti Hai?” Santa: “Muft Mein“

18.



Teacher Class Mein: ” Bachho Koi Batayega Ki New and Old Mariage Mein Kya Farak Hota Hai?” Pappu: “Madam Ji, New Marriage Main Log Lips Mila Ke Sotay Hai Aur Old Marriage Main Hips“

19.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Bachho Ki Knowledge Check Karne Ke Liye Ek Sawal Puchha Teacher: “Wo Koun Sa Department Hai? Jis Mein Ladkiya Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?” Pappu Ne Haath Khada Kiya Aur Muskurate Hue Jawab Diya Pappu: “Fire Brigade, Kyunki Ladkiyo Ka Kaam Aag Bujhana Nahi Aag Lagana Hai.“ ,Master Class Mein Bachho Ko Samajha Raha Tha, Master: “Agar Koi Apni Baat Doosre Ko Na Samjha Sake To Wo Chutiya Hota Hai” Pappu: “Sir Ji, Kya Matlab Main Samjha Nahi“

20.



Santa Ki Shaadi Ke 3 month Baad Hi Beta Ho Gaya.
Santa: “Ye Hamara Bachha 3 month Baad Kaise Ho Gaya? Aur Logo Ka To 9 month Baad Hota Hai?” Biwi: “Aaap Bhi Na..
Ye Batao Aapki Shaadi Ko Kitna Time Hua Hai?” Santa: “3 month” Biwi: “Aur Meri Shaadi Ko?” Santa: “3 month” Biwi: “Aur Hamara Bachcha Kitne Time Baad Hua?” Santa: “3 month Baad” Biwi: “Total Kitne Months Ho Gaye?” Santa Khushi Se: “Oh Shit Yaar, Samay Ka Pata Hi Nhi Chala..
Sorry Janu Mene Tumpar Shak Kiya“

21.



Santa Ne Apna Underwear Dhoya Aur Chatt Pe Gaya Sath Wali Padosan Ki Panty Sukh Rahi Thhi Usne Uske Saath Apna Underwear Taanga Uspar Ek Note Likh Diya Aur Khud Chala Gaya “Babhi Please Mera Underwear Bhi Utar Lena Jab Aap Apni Panty Utaaro“

22.



Baba Saxidas Ki Kitab Anmol Gottiya Vol.
1 Mein Se Unka Ek Vachan Apni Biwi Ko Apni 100%1$ Kamayi Dene Se 10%2$ Sukh Milta Hai Aur Girlfrnd Ko Apni Kamayi Ka 10%3$ Dene Se 100%4$ Sukh Milta Hai.
Paisa Apka, Faisla Apka Jago Grahak Jago

23.



Santa Ek Bar Interview Dene Gaya Boss: “What’s Your Wife Name?” Santa: “Sir, Preeto” Boss: “What’s Her Whole Name?” Santa Sochte Hue: “Sir, Hole Ka Naam To Rakha Nahi, Par Main Pyar Se Fuddi Kehta Hoon“

24.



Golu Asks Pappu Golu: “What Is Common Between A Girl’s Legs And Amul Butter?” Pappu: “Simple, Both Are Delicious When Spread“

25.



In A Grammar Class Madam Asks To Students.
Madam: “He Does Not Like Girls, What Is ‘He’ In This Sentence?” Pappu: “Gay“

26.



Santa Bechare Ko Loose Motions Lage Hue Thhe, Aur Vo Bada Pareshan Thha Jaisi Taise Karke Vo Ek Doctor Ke Pass Gaya.
Ab Problem Ye Thhi Ki Vo Doctor Ko Bataye Kaisi, Itne Mein Uski Baari Aa Gayi Doctor: “What Is Your Problem?” Santa Kuch Sochte Hue: “Free Outgoing With Variety Of Ring Tones“

27.



Santa Ko Judwa Bachhe Chahiye Thhe Socho Usne Kya Kiya Sochho Sochho Sochho Sochho Yaar Dimag Lagao Its Very Simple Abe Vo Santa Hai Uski Tarha Soch Na Nahi Samjh Aa Raha, Chalo Mein Bata Deta Hun Usne Condom Ke Ander 2 Hole Kar Diye

28.



Banta Ek Baar Beemar Hua To Santa Uska Pata Lene Gaya Dekha Banta Bed Pe Leta Hua Thha Aur Halat Thik Nahi Thhi Santa: “Yaar Sharam Ki Baat Hai, Tera Daddy Dr.
Hai Fir Bhi Tu Beemar Ho Gaya” Banta Ye Baat Sunkar Gusse Mein Aa Gaya Aur Bola Banta: “Bhonsdi Ke, Tere Baap Ki Bhi Condom Ki Factory Hai, Aur Tu Phir Bhi Paida Ho Gaya“

29.



Santa Ki Biwi Pregnant Thi Aur Vo Uske Saath Sex Nahi Kar Sakta Tha Ek Din Santa Ghar Aa Kar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Mujhe Tharak Bahut Chadd Rahi Thhi, Banta Ki Biwi Ko 100 Rs.
Diye Aur Chod Kar Aa Raha Hoon” Santa Ki Biwi Boli: “Tum Na Bikul Bevkoof Ho, Lutt Ke Aa Gaye… Banta To Yaha 50 Rs.
Mein Karke Jata Hai.
“

30.



Santa Ko Uske Ek Dost Ne Bataya Ki Sex Karne Ke Baad 72 Gante Ke Ander Ipill Kha Li Jaye To Bachha Nahi Hota.
Santa Ne Yahi Tarika Apnaya Aur Uski Biwi Pregnant Ho Gayi.
Santa Rota Hua Apne Dsot Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola Santa: “Sale Kutte Kameene Mujhe Marva Diya, Tune To Kaha Tha Ki Bachha Nahi Hoga” Dost Hairan Hua: “Yaar Impossible Hai, Esa Nahi Ho Sakta” Santa: “Abe Ho Gaya Na, Tune To 72 Gante Kaha Thha, Mene To Sax Ke 3 Gante Ke Baad Hi Ipill Kha Li Thhi, Fir Bhi Pata Nahi Kaisi Ho Gaya“