😆 Hansi Ka Blast – Best Husband Wife Jokes in Hinglish – 03

1.



Sunny Leone: “Meri Next Hindi Movie Mein Main Sab Ko Dara Ke Rakh Dungi” Pappu: “Darr To Aapki Pehle Ki Movies Mein Bhi Lagta Tha, Kahi Peechhe Se Mummy Papa Na Aa Jaayen”

2.



डायरेक्टर: सुहागरात का सीन है, तुम्हें हीरो को ग्लास में दूध पिलाना है। मलिका: अगर ग्लास में ही पिलाना था तो विद्या बालन को बुला लेते

3.



Santa Ke College Time Mein Uski Ek Premika Santa Ko Bade Pyar Se Boli.
Premika: “Darling, Shaadi Ke Baad Tum Mujhe Subha Se Lekar Shaam Tak, Shaam Se Lekar Subha Tak Pyaar Karna” Santa Hairani Se: “Abe Sali, To Fir Main Tatti Kab Karunga?“

4.



Santa Ka USA Ka Visa Laga To Vo First Class Flight Se USA Jaa Raha Thha Plane Mein Ek Badi Hi Hot And Sexy Air Hostess Aayi Aur Santa Se Boli Air Hostess: “Sir, What Would You Like?” Santa: “I Would Like To Hug And Kiss You, Wanna Play With Your Boobs And Squeez Your Nipples And Run My Hands In Your Skirt, Put My Fingers In Your Pussy And Take You To Bed And Then Fuck You For Full Day” But What I Need Now Is Only A Pizza.
Bechari Air Hostesss Uska Muh Khulla Ka Khulla Hi Rah Gaya..

5.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Bachho Ki Knowledge Check Karne Ke Liye Ek Sawal Puchha Teacher: “Wo Koun Sa Department Hai? Jis Mein Ladkiya Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?” Pappu Ne Haath Khada Kiya Aur Muskurate Hue Jawab Diya Pappu: “Fire Brigade, Kyunki Ladkiyo Ka Kaam Aag Bujhana Nahi Aag Lagana Hai.“ ,Master Class Mein Bachho Ko Samajha Raha Tha, Master: “Agar Koi Apni Baat Doosre Ko Na Samjha Sake To Wo Chutiya Hota Hai” Pappu: “Sir Ji, Kya Matlab Main Samjha Nahi“

6.



Santa Ko Apne Achhe Kam Ki Vajah Se Company Mein Pramotion Mili Aur Vo Manager Ban Gaya.
Usne Apni Patni Ko Ye Good News Is Tarike Se Sunayi Santa: “Darling, Sunti Ho Aaj Raat Ko Tum Company Ke Manager Ke Saath Soyegi” Biwi Khushi Ke Mare Uchhal Padi Aur Boli Biwi: “Sachiiiii, Ye To Batao, Sharma Sir Ke Saath Ya Patel Sir Ke Saath“

7.



Ek Ladki Ka Mangetar Mar Gaya, Laash Ko Dekh Vo Us Se Lipat Kar Rone Lagi Aur Boli.
Ladki: “Hey Bhagwan, Abhi To Mene Kuch Dekha Bhi Nahi Tha” Pass Mein Santa Khada Tha Ye Sun Us Se Raha Na Gaya Aur Bola.
Santa: “Koi Baat Nahi Beta, Abhi Thodi Der Mein Nehlayenge, Tab Dekh Lena“

8.



Santa Ko Natak Mein Arjun Ka Role Mila, Jab Natak Shuru Hua To Santa Arjun Ke Roop Mein Aaya, Logo Ne Shor Kiya: “Pagdi Wala Arjun…….Pagdi Wala Arjun” Santa Bola: “Bhosdi Walo, Abhi Do Minute Pehle Lund Wali Dropadi Aayi Thi, Tab Saare So Rahe The Kya?“

9.



Santa Ko Uske Ek Dost Ne Bataya Ki Sex Karne Ke Baad 72 Gante Ke Ander Ipill Kha Li Jaye To Bachha Nahi Hota.
Santa Ne Yahi Tarika Apnaya Aur Uski Biwi Pregnant Ho Gayi.
Santa Rota Hua Apne Dsot Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola Santa: “Sale Kutte Kameene Mujhe Marva Diya, Tune To Kaha Tha Ki Bachha Nahi Hoga” Dost Hairan Hua: “Yaar Impossible Hai, Esa Nahi Ho Sakta” Santa: “Abe Ho Gaya Na, Tune To 72 Gante Kaha Thha, Mene To Sax Ke 3 Gante Ke Baad Hi Ipill Kha Li Thhi, Fir Bhi Pata Nahi Kaisi Ho Gaya“

10.



Pappu Asked His Girl-Friend Pappu: “Between Me And The Toilet, Who Do You Love Most?” Girl-Friend: “Obviously Its You, Why Do You Ask Such A Stupid Question?” Pappu: “Because You Drop Your Pants So Fast For The Toilet, But For Me, I Have To Really Struggle“

11.



Ek Raat Ko Santa Fashion Tv Dekh Raha Tha To Achank Uska Ladka Aa Jata Hai To Banta Fatafat Bola: “Gareeb Ladkiyan Hain Bechari Kapde Kharidne Ke Liye Bhi Pese Nahi Hain” Ladka: “Daddy ! Jab Inse Bhi Gareeb Ladkiyan Aaye To Mujhe Bhi Awaj Laga Dena“

12.



Santa Was Sitting In His House Without Pagdi On Head And Banta Comes To Meet Him Banta Shocked: “Oye Santa Tune Baal Katwa Diye?” Santa With Shame: “Haan Yaar, Bahut Hairfall Ho Raha Tha.” Banta Shouts: “Hair Fall Ho Raha Tha To Baal Katwa Diye, Phir To Acha Hua Tujhe Nightfall Nahi Hua Warna Tu To Pata Nahi Kya-Kya Katwa Deta.“

13.



Ek Raat Santa Station Jane Ke Liye Taxi Rukwata Hai.
Taxi Wale Ko Talwar Ke Dam Par Bahar Nikalta Hai Aur Kehta Hai Santa: “Chal Apni Pant Khol Aur Mutthh Maar” Taxi Wala Ghabra Kar Apni Muth Marne Lagta Hai Santa: “Phir Ek Baar Maar” Taxi Wala Fir Marne Lag Jata Hai Santa: “Ek Baar Aur” Santa Aise Hi 5 – 6 Baar Aur Karwata Hai Taxiwala Rote Hue: “Sardarji Itni Muth Maar Li Hai Ab To Mera Khda Bhi Nahi Ho Raha” Santa Apni Bahen Ko Andar Se Bulata Hai Aur Taxiwale Ko Bolta Hai Santa: “Jaa Ab Meri Bahen Ko Railway Station Chhod Aa“

14.



Ek Baar Santa Train Mein Ja Raha Tha.
Uske Samne Ek Ladki Mini-Skirt Dale Bethi Thi Aur Ussne Panty Bhi Nahin Pehni Thi.
Santa Maje Se Usski Choot Ko Dekh Raha Tha, Achanak Ladki Santa Ko Boli.
Ladki: “Kya Tum Meri Choot Dekh Rahe Ho?” Santa Chonk Gaya.
Ladki Boli: “Koi Baat Nahin Dekho Dekho Badi Special Hai” Santa Hairan Hoke Bola: “Achha, Kya Special Hai?” Ladki Boli: “Meri Choot Aankh Bhi Marti Hai” Aur Ussne Choot Se Aankh Marwa Di.
Santa Hairan Ho Kar Dekhta Raha.
Ladki Boli: “Meri Choot Smile Bhi Pass Karti Hai” Aur Ladki Ne Apni Choot Hila Kar Smile Bhi Pass Karwa Di.
Santa Phir Hairan Ho Kar Dekhta Raha.
Ladki Ko Ab Tharak Chadd Gayi Thi, Vo Bade Pyar Se Santa Ko Boli, Ladki: “Idhar Aaao Aur Iss Mein Apni Do Ungaliyaa Daalo” Santa Hairan Hoke Seat Se Uchalta Hua Bola: “Oh Teri, Kya Yeh Seeti Bhi Maarti Hai?“

15.



Santa Subah Subha Doctor Ke Paas Jata Hai Aur Rote Hue Bolta Hai.
Santa: “Dr, Saab Badi Tension Hai, Kal Raat Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kiya Thha Aur Aaj Peshab Hi Nahi Aa Raha Hai” Doctor Ne Check Kiya Aur Gusse Se Bola Doctor: “Bhosdi Ke Pehle Lund Pe Se Condom To Utar Le“

16.



Santa Bade Pareshan Haal Mein Apne Familly Doctor Ke Pass Gaya Santa: “Dr.
Saab, Mene Hamesha Apni Biwi Se Condom Laga Ke Sex Kiya Hai Fir Bhi Uske 3 Bachhe Ho Gaye” Dr Hairan Ho Ke: “Achha?? Kamal Hai Yaar.
Vese Tum Condom Lagate Kaisi Ho” Santa: “Jitna Condom Lund Pe Chadta Hai, Utna Chada Ke Baki Ka Aage Se Kaat Deta Hun“

17.



Santa Chemist Shop Pe Gaya Aur Bola: “Bhai Sahib Ek Condom Dena Mujhe Meri Girlfriend Ko Gift Dena Hai” Shopkeeper: “Ispar Cover Chada Doon Kya?” Santa: “Oye Nahi Gadhe Ye Hi To Cover Hai Gift To Mere Pass Hai“

18.



Santa Aur Banta Bethe Baat Kar Rahe Thhe Santa: “Yaar Jab Tu Paida Ho Raha Thha To Tune Sir Pahle Nikala Ya Pair” Banta: “Maine Pair Pahle Nikale, Aur Tune?” Santa: “Mene To Bhai Sir Nikala Thha” Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Purane Log Kahte Hai Kisi Ki Phati Mein Tang Nahi Adani Chahiye“

19.



Santa Mobile Shop Ke Bahar Khada Mobile Dekh Raha Tha.
Andar Se Salesman Ne Smile Dete Hue Awaj Lagayi Salesman: “Please Come Inside and Choose” Santa Gusse Se: “Bhosadi Ke Tu Bahar Aa Aur Mera Choos…!!!!!”

20.



Ek Baar Santa Kisi Beach Par Gaya.
Wahaan Use Ek Nangi Ladki Leti Hui Dikhayi Di.
Santa Ko Sharam Aa Gayi To Usne Uske Pichwade Par Apni Topi Rakh Kar Chala Gaya.
Piche Se Ghumta Hua Banta Aa Raha Tha, Usne Ye Nazara Dekha To Chilla Kar Bola Banta: “Bachao-Bachao, Hey Bhagwan Wo Admi Pura Andar Chala Gaya Sirf Topi Bahar Rah Gayi.“

21.



Teacher In Class Mein Bacho Ko Bolti Hai Teacher: “Write A Sentence Ending With Hand.” Santa: “My Penis In Ur Hand” Teacher Santa Ko Chanta Maarti Hai Santa: “Sorry Mam, Main Pen Aur Is Ke Bich Mein Space Dena Bhul Gaya Thha“

22.



Santa Aur Uski Patni Bed Pe Lete Sex Se Related Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe Patni: “Aapne Mere Boobs Chus Chus Ke Bade Kar Diye Hai” Santa Hairan Hote Hue: “Abe Sali, Esa Agar Hota To Mera Lund Mere Ghutne Tak Pahunch Gaya Hota Or Mujhe Condom Ki Jagha Cycle Ki Tube Lagani Padti“

23.



Santa: “Bante, Daily Chyavanprash Khane Se Chusti Rehti Hai.” Banta Hairani Se: “Sach Mein, Mujhe Bhi Bata Na Kon Chusti Rahti Hai? Bata Na Bhai, Bata Na.” Santa: “Abbey! Chusti Rahti Hai, Chusti Yani Fitness” Sale, Ye To Hai Hi Gande Dimaag Ka, Aap To Ye Nahi Soch Rahe The Na.

24.



Santa: “Dr.
Sahab I Am Suffering From Loose Motions” Doctor: “Kitni Patli Aati Hai??” Santa: “Samajh Lo Ki Aap Usse Gargle Kar Sakte Ho“

25.



During Sex Jeeto Asks To Santa Repeatedly: “Do You Love Me, Do You Really Love Me?” Irritated Santa Shouted: “What The Hell Do You Think, I Am Doing Pushups?“

26.



Teacher Class Mein: ” Bachho Koi Batayega Ki New and Old Mariage Mein Kya Farak Hota Hai?” Pappu: “Madam Ji, New Marriage Main Log Lips Mila Ke Sotay Hai Aur Old Marriage Main Hips“

27.



लड़का : मैं प्यार की ऊंचाई औरइश्क़ की गहराई को देखना औरछूना चाहता हूँ.
लड़की : सीधी तरह क्यों नहीं कहतेकि अंडरवियर और ब्रा उतार दो

28.



Next Day Santa Ki Biwi Use Fir Reservation Karvane Jabardasti Bhejti Hai, Kyunki Vo Bus Mein Suffer Nahi Kar Sakti Thhi.
Santa Bechara Majboor Hota Hai, Par Aaj Vo Jent Clerk Ke Pass Jata Hai.
Clerk: “Aapka Shubh Naam?” Santa: “Ji Santa” Clerk: “Age?” Santa: “22” Clerk: “Sex?” Santa : “Hafte Mein 3 Baar” Clerk Gabra Ke: “Nahi Nahi, Mera Matlab Male Ya Female?” Santa: “Ji, Jo Bhi Fass Jaye, Kabhi Kabhi To Gali Ki Kutti Se Bhi“

29.



Pappu: “Papa Teacher Ne Ek Question Pucha Hai, Aur Kaha Hai Ghar Se Puch Ke Aana” Papa: “Kya Question Hai?” Pappu: “Bollywood Aur Hollywood Mein Kya Faraq Hota Hai?” Papa: “Dekh Beta Jahan Ladki “BOL” Se Khelne De, Wo Bollywood Aur Jahan Ladki “HOL” Se Khelne De Wo Hollywood“

30.



Ek Baar Pappu Ki Kisi Baat Pe Apni Girlfriend Se Ladayi Ho Gayi.
Dono Mein Ladayi Karte Karte Baat Yaha Tak Aa Gayi Ki Breakup Ki naubat Aa Gayi.
Ladki Ne Gusse Mein Aake Pappu Ko Bhadva Kah Diya Tab Pappu Ko Gussa Aya Aur Vo Apni Girlfriend Ko Bola Pappu: “Sali Kuttiya Randi, Apne Lund Pe Ghungroo Bandh Ke Tujko Aise Chodunga Ki Tere Baap Aur Mohalle Walo Ko Lagega Ki Kirtan Ho Raha Hai“