🤣 Pura Din Mood Fresh – Best Funny Jokes in Hinglish – 02

1.



लड़की :- मुझे बड़ी ठंड लग रही है,
मेरे दोनो हीटर को छु लो!
लड़का:- अभी भी ठंड लग रही है क्या?
लड़की:- अबे घोन्चु, नीचे प्लग तो लगा.!

2.



Santa College Ki Side Wali Sadak Ke Kinare Susu Kar Raha Thha Ek Ladki Vaha Se Gujar Rahi Thhi Usne Santa Ka Bada Lund Dekha Aur Boli Ladki: “Wow, Mujhe Bhi Chahiye” Santa Bola: “Abe To Dekh Kya Rahi Hai, Jaldi Se Ek Cup Le Aa, Susu Khatam Hone Wala Hai“

3.



Santa (B.Com) Saw A Poster At A Police Station: “Two Engineers Wanted For Rape” Santa: “Shit Man, These Engineers Always Get The Best Jobs“

4.



Santa Ek Ladki Ka Rape Kar Raha Tha Ladki Zor Zor Se Chilla Rahi Thi.
Santa Usko Bola: “Chillao, Chillao Or Chillao, Yahan Se Tumhari Awaz Bahar Nahi Jaa Sakti” Ladki Hairani Se Boli: “Mujhe Tumhari Baat Par Yakeen Nahi Hai” Santa Muskurate Hue Bola: “To Fir Theek Hai, Mein Yahan Se Chillata Hun, Tum Bahar Jaake Suno, Aawaz Aati Hai Ya Nahi“

5.



Santa: “Dr.
Sahab I Am Suffering From Loose Motions” Doctor: “Kitni Patli Aati Hai??” Santa: “Samajh Lo Ki Aap Usse Gargle Kar Sakte Ho“

6.



Ek Raat Santa Station Jane Ke Liye Taxi Rukwata Hai.
Taxi Wale Ko Talwar Ke Dam Par Bahar Nikalta Hai Aur Kehta Hai Santa: “Chal Apni Pant Khol Aur Mutthh Maar” Taxi Wala Ghabra Kar Apni Muth Marne Lagta Hai Santa: “Phir Ek Baar Maar” Taxi Wala Fir Marne Lag Jata Hai Santa: “Ek Baar Aur” Santa Aise Hi 5 – 6 Baar Aur Karwata Hai Taxiwala Rote Hue: “Sardarji Itni Muth Maar Li Hai Ab To Mera Khda Bhi Nahi Ho Raha” Santa Apni Bahen Ko Andar Se Bulata Hai Aur Taxiwale Ko Bolta Hai Santa: “Jaa Ab Meri Bahen Ko Railway Station Chhod Aa“

7.



Class Mein Ek Shararti Bache Ne Apni Teacher Se Poocha Johnny: “Miss Ye Bus Male Hai Ya Female?” Teacher Sochne Lagi Itne Mein Santa Bola: “Bus Female Hai” Johnny: “Kyun?” Santa: “Kyunki Sab Uspar Piche Se Chadte Hai” Teacher Bechari Pareshan Ho Gayi Johnny: “Agar Bus Female Hai To Uske Bache Kyu Nahi Hote?” Santa: “Kyunki Sab Uspar Piche Se Chadte Hai” Teacher Bechari Sharam Se Paani Paani Hogayi Johnny: “Mana Sab Piche Se Chadte Hai, Par Driver Aur Conductor To Aage Se Hi Chadte Hai, Fir Bache Kyu Nahi Hote” Teacher Ki Saansein Band Santa: “Kyunki Dono Topi Laga Ke Chadte Hai” Teacher Behosh

8.



Hindi Ki Madam Class Mein Bachho Ka Hindi Grammar Ka Oral Test Le Rahi Thi.
Madam: “Saamp Bhi Mar Jaye Aur Lathi Bhi Na Toote – Is Muhavare Ko Ek Shabad Mein Samjhao” Pappu Muskurate Hue Bola: “Mam, Masturbation (Muth)“

9.



Ek Baar Sharabi Santa Ka Lund Facture Hone Par Ek Admi Use Hospital Le Gaya, Waha Doctor Ne Pucha.
Doctor: “Yeh Kaise Hua?” Santa: “Main Usko Jaan Se Maar Dunga Jisne Diwaar Par Nangi Ladki Ki Tasvir Chipkai“

10.



Santa Ka Baap Santa Ko Apni Marzi Se Shaadi Karne Ke Liye Gusse Se Bolta Hai.
Santa Ka Baap: “Tune Iss Ladki Mein Kya Dekha Jo Iss Ladki Se Shaadi Kar Li.” Santa: “Daddy, Ye Bachpan Mein Angootha Bohat Achha Choosti Thi.”

11.



Santa Aur Uski Patni Bed Pe Lete Sex Se Related Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe Patni: “Aapne Mere Boobs Chus Chus Ke Bade Kar Diye Hai” Santa Hairan Hote Hue: “Abe Sali, Esa Agar Hota To Mera Lund Mere Ghutne Tak Pahunch Gaya Hota Or Mujhe Condom Ki Jagha Cycle Ki Tube Lagani Padti“

12.



Santa Enters Home From Work And Seeing Preeto Is Sitting On Sofa In Skirt Not Wearing Panty She Spreads Her Legs.
Santa Stares At The Spot.
Preeto Smiles: “Aise Kya Dekh Rahe Ho, Panty Nahi Pehni Hoon.” Santa: “Ohh Tune To Daraa Hi Diya, Mujhe Laga Sofa Phat Gaya Hai“

13.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Bachho Se Pucha Teacher: “Ladkiyo Mein Sabse Jyada Calcium Kaha Hota Hai?” Pappu: “Unke Boobs Mein” Teacher: “Explain Karo Kaisi?” Pappu: “Unko Dekh Kar Bina Calcium Wali Boneless Cheez Bhi Khadi Ho Jaati Hai“

14.



Santa Plane Mein Air Hostess Ko Dekhe Ja Raha Thha.
Air Hostess Ki Left Breast Pe
Name Plate Lagi Thhi, Aur Uspar Likha Tha, Teena.
Santa Ne Ye Dekh Kar Air Hostess Se Pucha.
Santa: “Waah Ji Bahut Badiya Naam Rakha Hai,
Dosre Wale Ka Kya Hai?“

15.



Ek Baar Santa Bike Rok Kar Helmet Khuja Raha Tha.
Ek Aadmi Ne Dekha Aur Hairan Hokar Puucha.
Aadmi: “Helmet Utaar Ke Khujao” Santa: “Chup Be, Jab Teri Gand Pe Khujli Hoti Hai To Kya Pent Utaar Ke Khujata Hai“

16.



Baba Saxidas Se Unke Ek Chele Ne Pucha
Chela: “Baba Ji, Ek Aurat Apne Jeeven Mein Apne Pati Se Kya Chathti Hai?” Baba Saxidas: “Pati Ke Zinda Rahne Tak Uska Kadak Lund Aur Marne Ke Baad Uska Kadak LIC Fund“

17.



Ek Baar Santa Kisi Beach Par Gaya.
Wahaan Use Ek Nangi Ladki Leti Hui Dikhayi Di.
Santa Ko Sharam Aa Gayi To Usne Uske Pichwade Par Apni Topi Rakh Kar Chala Gaya.
Piche Se Ghumta Hua Banta Aa Raha Tha, Usne Ye Nazara Dekha To Chilla Kar Bola Banta: “Bachao-Bachao, Hey Bhagwan Wo Admi Pura Andar Chala Gaya Sirf Topi Bahar Rah Gayi.“

18.



Santa In Kaun Banega Carorpati Amitab Bhachan: “”Sardar Ji What Is The Colour Of Your Wife’s Bra” A: White B: Black C: Red D: Pink Santa: “Can I Call A Friend?“

19.



Madam Class Mein: “SEX And SIX Mein Kya Difference Hai?” Santa: “Madam Ji Main Batau” Madam: “Yes” Santa: “Balla Utha Ke Maro To SIX Aur Skirt Utha Ke Maro To SEX“

20.



Ek Baar Pappu Plane Se U.S.A Jaa Raha Tha, Sath Mein Ek Angrej Baitha Hua Thha.
Pappu Ne Us Se Time Pucha, Angrej: “Hi Main Ek Scientist Hoon” Pappu: “Hello, Main Engineer Hoon” Angrej: “Wow Engineer, Kya Hum Kuch Topics Par Baat Kar Sakte Hai?” Pappu: “Bilkul” Angrej: “Achcha, Tum Mujhe Nuclear Power Ke Baare Mein Kuch Baatao?” Pappu Ab Ye Sun Ke Chup Rah Gaya.
Angrej: “Ohhh, To Tum Nahi Jante” Pappu: “Jaanta To Hun, Par Sir Pahle Aap Mere Ek Question Ka Answer Do” Angrej: “Hmmm, Puchho” Pappu: “Mandir Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai Aur Church Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai.
To Phir Church Ka Ghanta Mandir Ke Ghante Se Bada Kyu Hota Hai?” Angrej kuch der soch kar bola: “Pata nahi, Main Nahi Jaanta” Pappu uska majaak udate hue bola: “Abe Ja Sale, Pata Tujhe Ghante Ka Bhi Nahi Hai Aur Baatein Nuclear Power Ki Karta Hai“

21.



Santa Apne Doodh Wale Se Ladte Hue Bola Santa: “Yaar Tum Do Din Se Doodh Dene Kyun Nahi Aa Rahe Thhe??” Doodhwala Udai Se Bola: “Sardar Ji, Aap Ki Bhabhi Ki Tabiyat Kharab Thhi, Isliye Nahi Aa Paya” Santa Kuch Soche Ke Bola: “To Koi Baat Nahi! Bhains Ka Doodh Hi Le Aate!“

22.



Santa Ne Apni Biwi Ko Ape Ek Dost Ke Sath Sote Dekh Liya.
Usne Aav Dekha Na Taav Bandook Uthayi Aur Dost Ko Goli Maar Di.
Biwi Ne Ye Dekha Aur Gusse Mein Aake Boli.
Biwi: “Tum Apne Gusse Pe Kaabu Rakho, Warna Ek Din Apne Sare Dosto Se Haath Dho Bethoge“

23.



Class Mein Teacher Ne Pappu Se Pucha Teacher: “Transparent Word Ka Example Do” Pappu: “Aapki Dress Mein Se Red Bra Dikh Rahi Hai” Teacher Gusse Se: “You Bloody, Kuch To Sharam Kar” Pappu Masumiyat Se: “Mam, Tabhi To Nahi Bola Ki Panty Bhi Fati Hui Hai.“

24.



Ek Din Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha: “Oye Ek Baat Bata, Ladki Aur Bijli Ki Taar Mein Kya Farak Hai?” Banta: “Yaar Jyada Farak Nahi Hai, Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain.”

25.



Doctor Returns To His Clinic After A Day Off And Asks His Assistant Santa About His Patients.
Santa: “1st Patient Came With Headache.
I Gave Him Saridon.” Doctor: “Good Job.” Santa: “2nd With Running Nose And I Gave Him Coldarin.” Doctor: “Good Job Again!” Santa: “3rd Patient Was A Lady.
She Took-Off Her Clothes On The Bed, Opened Her Legs And Said, “help Me, I Have Not Seen A Man For Last 5 Months”.
Surprised Doctor: “What Did You Do Then?” Santa: “I Put Ciplox Eye Drops In Her Eyes”

26.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

27.



A Girl After Taking Santa’s Dick In Her Mouth: “1000 Nikal Warna Kaat Lungi” Santa: “500 Mujhe De Warna Peshaab Kar Donga“

28.



Santa Aur Banta Bethe Baat Kar Rahe Thhe Santa: “Yaar Jab Tu Paida Ho Raha Thha To Tune Sir Pahle Nikala Ya Pair”
Banta: “Maine Pair Pahle Nikale, Aur Tune?”
Santa: “Mene To Bhai Sir Nikala Thha”
Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Purane Log Kahte Hai Kisi Ki Phati Mein Tang Nahi Adani Chahiye“

29.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?” Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se” Teacher: “Wo Kaisi” Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“

30.



Santa Apni Girl Friend Ke Saath Movie Dekhne Gaya.
Par Jane Se Pahle Usne Chupp Ke Se Sharab Ke 3 4 Peg Pee Liye.
Kuch Der Movie Chali To Santa Ka Scenes Dekh Ke Mood Ban Gaya Aur Girl Friend Se Chipkane Lag Gaya Kuch Minutes Ke Baad Achanak Zor Zor Se Chillane Lag Gaya Santa: “Haye Rabba, Mera Lund Kaha Hai, Mera Lund Kidhar Gaya?” Ladki Gusse: “Abe Gandu Chup Kar, Tune Meri Panty Mein Haath Dala Hua Hai“