😁 Shaadi Wale Ghar Se Aayi Hansi Ki Wave – 05

1.



Santa: “Madam, How Do Babies Come In To The World?” Teacher: “In The Moonlight Angels Come and Leave The Baby In A Mother’s Lap” Santa: “You Mean Fucking Is Useless“

2.



Ek Bar Bahut Bade Hotel Mein Shadi Ho Rahi Thi, Udhar Apne Santa Ji Bhi Masti Maar Rahe The.
Achanak Se Sath Mein Khadi Ek Ladki Ko Toilet Jana Thha Usne Santa Se Puchha.
Ladki: “Sardar Ji, Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do” Santa Ne Sharamte Hue Jawab Diya: “You Naughty Girl Pahle Tum Dikhao Fir Mein Dikhaunga“

3.



Pappu Jab Chota Tha To Madam Ne Ek Din Usko Bade Pyar Se Puchha Madam: “Pappu Beta, Tumhe Sabse Jyada Maza Kab Aata Hai?” Pappu Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aap Mujhe Susu Karane Ke Liye Meri Nunni Hath Se Bahar Nikalti Ho”

4.



Ek Din Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha: “Oye Ek Baat Bata, Ladki Aur Bijli Ki Taar Mein Kya Farak Hai?” Banta: “Yaar Jyada Farak Nahi Hai, Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain.”

5.



Hindi Ki Madam Ne Class Mein Pappu Ko Khada Kiya Aur Puchha Madam: “Aaj Dhoom-Dham Se Meri Shaadi Hui – Is Past Tense Ko Future Tense Mein Badal Kar Batao?” Pappu Besharmi Se Bola: “Aaj Raat Aapki Jamkar Thoka-Thukayi Hogi”

6.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Bachho Se Pucha Teacher: “Ladkiyo Mein Sabse Jyada Calcium Kaha Hota Hai?” Pappu: “Unke Boobs Mein” Teacher: “Explain Karo Kaisi?” Pappu: “Unko Dekh Kar Bina Calcium Wali Boneless Cheez Bhi Khadi Ho Jaati Hai“

7.



Sardar Ji Ne Ek Din Apne Bete Ko Muth Marte Dekh To Kuch Dino Baad Uski Shadi Ker Di.
Kuch Din Baad Bete Se Pucha: “Beta Ab To Sab Theek Hai Na?” Bete Ne Gusse Se Kaha: “Kya Ghanta Theek Hai Uska Haath To 5 Minute Mein Hi Thak Jata Hai“

8.



Santa Apne Doodh Wale Se Ladte Hue Bola Santa: “Yaar Tum Do Din Se Doodh Dene Kyun Nahi Aa Rahe Thhe??” Doodhwala Udai Se Bola: “Sardar Ji, Aap Ki Bhabhi Ki Tabiyat Kharab Thhi, Isliye Nahi Aa Paya” Santa Kuch Soche Ke Bola: “To Koi Baat Nahi! Bhains Ka Doodh Hi Le Aate!“

9.



Santa Ek Bar USA Gaya To Vaha Uska Bhi Dil Kara Ki Ek Club Mein Jau Aur Dekho Kitna Maja Hai Vaha Ki Life Mein.
Club Mein Dancer Dance Kar Rahi Thhi, Thoda Sa Jhuki Toh, American Ne $100 Uski Bra Mein Dale, British Ne $200 Dale, Santa Ne Dimag Lagaya Aur ATM Card Uski Gaand Mein Ghusa Ke Swap Karvaya Aur $300 Leke Chalta Bana.

10.



Santa Ki Shadi Hui Aur Wo Bahut Dino Baad Apne Suhaagraat Waale Kamre Se Bahar Nikla, To Usske Baap Ne Us Se Pucha Baap: “Beta, Kya Baat Hai Badi Lambi Inning Khel Kar Aaya Hai?” Santa: “Maa Chuda Gayi Duniya, Pahle Ye Batao Ki Andar Tel Ki Botal Ki Jagah Fevikol Kon Rakh Kar Aaya Tha“

11.



Ek Baar Pappu Ki Kisi Baat Pe Apni Girlfriend Se Ladayi Ho Gayi.
Dono Mein Ladayi Karte Karte Baat Yaha Tak Aa Gayi Ki Breakup Ki naubat Aa Gayi.
Ladki Ne Gusse Mein Aake Pappu Ko Bhadva Kah Diya Tab Pappu Ko Gussa Aya Aur Vo Apni Girlfriend Ko Bola Pappu: “Sali Kuttiya Randi, Apne Lund Pe Ghungroo Bandh Ke Tujko Aise Chodunga Ki Tere Baap Aur Mohalle Walo Ko Lagega Ki Kirtan Ho Raha Hai“

12.



लड़का : मैं प्यार की ऊंचाई औरइश्क़ की
गहराई को देखना औरछूना चाहता हूँ.
लड़की : सीधी तरह क्यों नहीं कहतेकि
अंडरवियर और ब्रा उतार दो

13.



Ek Baar Santa Train Mein Ja Raha Tha.
Uske Samne Ek Ladki Mini-Skirt Dale Bethi Thi Aur Ussne Panty Bhi Nahin Pehni Thi.
Santa Maje Se Usski Choot Ko Dekh Raha Tha, Achanak Ladki Santa Ko Boli.
Ladki: “Kya Tum Meri Choot Dekh Rahe Ho?” Santa Chonk Gaya.
Ladki Boli: “Koi Baat Nahin Dekho Dekho Badi Special Hai” Santa Hairan Hoke Bola: “Achha, Kya Special Hai?” Ladki Boli: “Meri Choot Aankh Bhi Marti Hai” Aur Ussne Choot Se Aankh Marwa Di.
Santa Hairan Ho Kar Dekhta Raha.
Ladki Boli: “Meri Choot Smile Bhi Pass Karti Hai” Aur Ladki Ne Apni Choot Hila Kar Smile Bhi Pass Karwa Di.
Santa Phir Hairan Ho Kar Dekhta Raha.
Ladki Ko Ab Tharak Chadd Gayi Thi, Vo Bade Pyar Se Santa Ko Boli, Ladki: “Idhar Aaao Aur Iss Mein Apni Do Ungaliyaa Daalo” Santa Hairan Hoke Seat Se Uchalta Hua Bola: “Oh Teri, Kya Yeh Seeti Bhi Maarti Hai?“

14.



Teacher: “Explain Sex Without Any Bad Word?” Santa: “It Is An Entry Of “Polland” Into “Holland” In Between “Thailand” When Man and Woman Both Are In “Nagaland“.

15.



Santa Ne Apni Biwi Ko Ape Ek Dost Ke Sath Sote Dekh Liya.
Usne Aav Dekha Na Taav Bandook Uthayi Aur Dost Ko Goli Maar Di.
Biwi Ne Ye Dekha Aur Gusse Mein Aake Boli.
Biwi: “Tum Apne Gusse Pe Kaabu Rakho, Warna Ek Din Apne Sare Dosto Se Haath Dho Bethoge“

16.



Santa Mobile Shop Ke Bahar Khada Mobile Dekh Raha Tha.
Andar Se Salesman Ne Smile Dete Hue Awaj Lagayi Salesman: “Please Come Inside and Choose” Santa Gusse Se: “Bhosadi Ke Tu Bahar Aa Aur Mera Choos…!!!!!”

17.



Kahin Kaale-Gore lad rahe hai to
kahin Hindu-Musalman..
Kahin Israel-Gaza to
kahin India-Pakistan..
Pyaar to Bhenchod sirf
Blue Flims me hi reh gaya hai..

18.



Ek Din Ek Sardar Ne Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Jiski T-Shirt Par Likha Thha “Handle With Care” Agle Din Usne Apni Jeans Ke Aage Likhva Liya “Candle With Hair“

19.



Santa Ki Biwi Ka Rape Ho Gaya Aur Court Mein Case Chal Raha Thha Judge: “Kya Tum Mujhe Vo Jagha Bata Sakte Ho Jahan Tumhari Biwi Ka Rape Hua?” Santa Ne Apni Biwi Ki Salwar Kholi Aur Panty Utar Ke Bola Santa: “Judge Sahab Yahan Hua Thha Rape, Yahan“

20.



Santa Apni Shaadi Ke Teen Din Pehle Call Girl Ke Paas Sex Ke Liye Jata Hai.
Call Girl Ko Itna Maja Aa Raha Tha Ke Usne Uske Land Pe Chaki (Bite) Kaat Li, Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya, Doctor Ne Uske Land Per Patti Bandh Ke Tape Lagai Aur Use Achi Tarah Pack Kar Diya.
Jab Teen Din Baad Santa Ki Shaadi Hui To Wo Apni Patni Ke Saath Suhaag Raat Banane Laga.
Uski Patni Ne Kaha.
Patni: “Lo Ji Sonyo, Pesh Hai Ek Dam Fresh and Unused Choot” Santa Ka Dimag Bhi Kam Kiya Aur Vo Bola Santa: “Tu Fresh Ki Baat Kar Rahi Hai, Idhar Hamne To Aaj Tak Lode Ki Packing Bhi Nahi Kholi“

21.



Teacher In Class Mein Bacho Ko Bolti Hai Teacher: “Write A Sentence Ending With Hand.” Santa: “My Penis In Ur Hand” Teacher Santa Ko Chanta Maarti Hai Santa: “Sorry Mam, Main Pen Aur Is Ke Bich Mein Space Dena Bhul Gaya Thha“

22.



Santa Apni Girl Friend Ke Saath Movie Dekhne Gaya.
Par Jane Se Pahle Usne Chupp Ke Se Sharab Ke 3 4 Peg Pee Liye.
Kuch Der Movie Chali To Santa Ka Scenes Dekh Ke Mood Ban Gaya Aur Girl Friend Se Chipkane Lag Gaya Kuch Minutes Ke Baad Achanak Zor Zor Se Chillane Lag Gaya Santa: “Haye Rabba, Mera Lund Kaha Hai, Mera Lund Kidhar Gaya?” Ladki Gusse: “Abe Gandu Chup Kar, Tune Meri Panty Mein Haath Dala Hua Hai“

23.



Sardar Ji School Mein Apne Ladke Ka Report Card Lene Jate Hai Sardar: “Madam Ji Kab Dengi Aap” Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Sardar Ji Period Khatam Hone Tak To Intezar Kar Lo Na.
Fir De Dungi“

24.



Santa Ki Biwi Pregnant Thi Aur Vo Uske Saath Sex Nahi Kar Sakta Tha Ek Din Santa Ghar Aa Kar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Mujhe Tharak Bahut Chadd Rahi Thhi, Banta Ki Biwi Ko 100 Rs.
Diye Aur Chod Kar Aa Raha Hoon” Santa Ki Biwi Boli: “Tum Na Bikul Bevkoof Ho, Lutt Ke Aa Gaye… Banta To Yaha 50 Rs.
Mein Karke Jata Hai.
“

25.



Santa Apne Padosi Ke Ghar Mithayi Ka Dibba Lekkar Jata Hai.
Santa: “Le Mithayi Kha, Meri Biwi Ko Call-Center Mein Promotion Mil Gayi Hai” Padosi: “Arrey Wah, To Ab Vo Kya Ban Gayi Hai?” Santa: “Wahan Ki Best Call-Girl“

26.



Santa Ek Din Apne Gaanv Se Door Shahar Mein Mela Dekhne Aaya Hua Tha.
Wahaan Uski Cycle Chori Ho Gayi, Bechara Zor-Zor Se Rone Lag Gaya.
Santa: “Main Ghar Kaise Jaunga – Main Ghar Kaise Jaunga” Ek Aadmi Ne Ye Dekha To Us Se Raha Na Gaya Aur Santa Se Bola.
Aadmi: “Bhai Ro Mat Aaj Raat Mere Ghar Ruk Kar Subha Gaanv Laut Jana, Par Ek Chhoti Si Problem Hai Mere Paas Sirf Ek Hi Khaat Hai Tumhe Khaat Ke Niche Sona Padega” Santa Maan Gaya, Raat Ko Aadmi Apni Biwi Ke Sath Daru Peekar Sex Karne Laga Aur Masti Mein Bola Aadmi: “Aaj To Teri Chut Mein Saari Duniya Dikh Rahi Hai” Niche Leta Santa Ye Sab Sun Raha Tha, Ek Dam Se Bola Santa: “Bhai Sahab, Please Meri Cycle Bhi Dekh Lena Kahaan Par Hai“

27.



Santa Pahli Baar Train Mein Reservation Karaane Ke Liye Gayaa Santa Ne Reservation Form Me “Ling/Sex” Wale Column Me Likh Diya “8 Inch” Aur Form Submit Kar Diya.
Booking Window Par Clerk Lady Thi, Usne Ye Dekha Aur Boli Lady Cleark: “Sir Ye Kya Hai, Isko Kaato, Ye Nahi Chalega” Santa Hairani Se: “Kitna Kaat Doon?” Lady Cleark: “Poora Hi Kaatna Padega” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye: “Madam Ji Aap Reservation Cancel Hi Kar Do, Main Bus Se Hi Chala Jaaunga.“

28.



Raat Ko Andhere Ka Fayda Utha Kar Sasur Ne Soyi Bahu Ke Boobs Dabaye To Bahu Chilla Kar Boli Bahu: “Ye Aap Kya Kar Rahe Hai, Sharam Nahi Aati” Sasu Gabra Ke: “Maaf Karna Bahu, Andhere Mein Mujhe Laga Tumhari Saas Hai” Bahu Gusse Se: “Bhonsdi Ke, Tujhe Uble Hue Ande (Egg) Or Omlet Mein Faraq Nahi Pata Chalta Kya?“

29.



Santa Ko Uske Ek Dost Ne Bataya Ki Sex Karne Ke Baad 72 Gante Ke Ander Ipill Kha Li Jaye To Bachha Nahi Hota.
Santa Ne Yahi Tarika Apnaya Aur Uski Biwi Pregnant Ho Gayi.
Santa Rota Hua Apne Dsot Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola Santa: “Sale Kutte Kameene Mujhe Marva Diya, Tune To Kaha Tha Ki Bachha Nahi Hoga” Dost Hairan Hua: “Yaar Impossible Hai, Esa Nahi Ho Sakta” Santa: “Abe Ho Gaya Na, Tune To 72 Gante Kaha Thha, Mene To Sax Ke 3 Gante Ke Baad Hi Ipill Kha Li Thhi, Fir Bhi Pata Nahi Kaisi Ho Gaya“

30.



College Mein Ek Professor Bhooto Ke Baare Mein Bachhon Ko Lecture De Raha Tha, Aur Hall Mein Keval Ladke Hi Aaye Hue The.
Lecture Ke Beech Mein Professor Ne Puchha: “Kitne Bachhe Bhoot Mein Yakeen Karte Hai?” Kareeb 50 Bachho Ke Haath Khade Ho Gaye.
Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Ab Ye Batao Ki Kitne Logo Ne Bhoot Ko Dekha Hai?” Lagbag 20 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.
Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Achha Ab Ye Baatao Ki Bhoot Ko Kitne Logo Ne Bahut Kareeb Se Dekha Hai?” Lagbhag 5 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.
Professor: “Shabash, Achha Ab Ye Batao Kitne Logon Ne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai?” Keval Ek Ladke Ka Haath Khada Hua Aur Wo Apna Pappu Tha.
Professor: “Maine Aaj Tak Khud Nahi Suna Ki Kisi Ne Aisa Kiya Ho, Aap Idhar Mere Paas Stage Par Aa Jaao” Pappu Uth Kar Professor Ke Paas Chala Gaya.
Professor: “To Aapka Kahna Hai Ki Aapne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai, Jara Baat Puri Detail Mein Batao” Pappu: “Ohh Sorry Sir, Maine Choot Suna Tha“