😜 Sasur Ji Aur Jamai Raja Ki Nok-Jhok – Hasi Unlimited – 04

1.



Ek Baar Ek Aaurat Apni Dono Taangey Khol Kar Sante Ke Samne Late Gai Or Sante Se Boli: “Kya Tum Jante Ho Ke Iska Matlab Kya Hai?” Santa Ne Kaha: “Haan Janta Hu Iska Matlab, Tu Saali Poorey Bed Par Akeli Sona Chahti Hai“.

2.



Class Mein New Teacher Aayi, Jiske Blouse Pe Phool Laga Hua Thha.
Kuch Der Baad Usne Samne Bethe Pappu Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Batao Beta, Phool Kya Peete Hai?” Pappu: “Ji Mam, Doodh” Teacher Ne Pyar Se Samjhate Hue Kaha: “Nahi Beta, Paani Peete Hai” Pappu Sochte Hue: “Ji Mam Sorry, Mujhe Pata Nahi Thha Iski Dandi Itni Niche Tak Hai“

3.



Santa Abhi Usa Mein Hi Thha Aur Soch Raha Tha Ki Vapis Jane Se Pahle Kisi Gori Ko Choda Jaye.
Pahunch Gaya Ek Gori Ke Pass, Jo Paisi Leke Uske Sath Sex Karne Ko Tyar Ho Gayi.
Dono Jab Sex Kar Rahe Thhe To Santa Bich Mein Ek Dum Se Rukk Gaya Aur Motionless Ho Gaya.
Gori Ne Ye Dekha Aur Hairani Hui, Santa Se Boli.
Girl: “Hey Asshole What Are You Doing?” Santa: “This Is A New Sex Style In India” Girl: “Whattt?” Santa: “Yes, I’ve Seen This On Porn Sites And Its Called Buffering“

4.



Ek Baar Ek Sardaar Apni Patni Ke Boobs Pakad Kar Bola: “Darling Je Tere Boobs Thodhe Hor Sakhat Hunde Ta Tainu Bra Paaun Di Zarurat Nahi Si” Patni Ne V Sardaar Da Lund Fadd Ke Keya: “Je Tera V Lund Thoda Aur Vada Hunda Te Mainu Kisi Or Da Lund Lain Di Zarurat Nahi Si“

5.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

6.



Santa Apni Biwi Se: “Aaj Tumhari Choti Behan Ko Apne Ghar Mein Dekh Ke Bahut Khushi Ho Rahi Hai” Biwi: “Haanji, Aapki Khushi Pajame Mein Se Jhalak Rahi Hai“

7.



Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun” Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“

8.



बड़ी बहन हनीमून पर गई। छोटी ने मैसेज किया,
दीदी जो जीन्स दी थी,
उसे जरूर पहनना। दीदी ने जवाब दिया,
इस हरामखोर ने 4 दिन से चड्ढी नहीं पहनने दी है..
और तुझे जीन्स की पड़ी है?

9.



Teacher Class Mein: ” Bachho Koi Batayega Ki New and Old Mariage Mein Kya Farak Hota Hai?” Pappu: “Madam Ji, New Marriage Main Log Lips Mila Ke Sotay Hai Aur Old Marriage Main Hips“

10.



कंडक्टर:- बच्चे का फुल टिकेट लगेगा.
औरत:- यह तो अभी निपल्स चूसता है.
कंडक्टर:- ,वो तो इसका बाप भी चूसता है, तो क्या उसका भी आधा लेगी?

11.



सूहागरात का सबसे बड़ा झटका : सुहागरात की तैयारी हो चुकी हो और
पत्नी पति से बोली :कंडोम सिर्फ़ कोहिनूर ही लेना,
बाकी से मुझे एलर्जी हो जाती हे.

12.



Santa Ek Baar Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Karne Laga To Ladki Santa Ka L.oda Dekh Kar Boli: “Itna Bada” Santa Khushi Se Bola: “Oh Ji Hum Punjabi Hain Hamara To Sub Kuch Hi Bada Hota Hai” Jab Ladki Ne Apni Salwaar Utaari To Santa Uski Cho.ot Dekh Kar Bola “Oye! Tusi Vi Punjabi Ho“

13.



Santa Khana Khaate-Khaate Apni Biwi (Preeto) Pe Chillata Hai.
Santa: “Arey, Ye Sabzi Mein Baal Ka Guchha Kya Kar Raha Hai?” Preeto: “Arrey, Wo Mere Neeche Ke Baal Hain.” Santa: “Hadd Hai, Ye Sabzi Mein Kyu Daalein Hain?” Preeto: “Aap Hi To Roz Kehte Ho Ki Khane Mein Jhaant Bhar Ka Bhi Swaad Nahi Aata, To Isliye Aaj Maine Daal Diye.“

14.



Santa Banta Ek Din Film Se Related Baat Kar Rahe The To Achanak Se Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha.
Santa: “Deepa Mehta Ne Ek Film Lesbeens Par Banayi Naam Rakha Fire Ab Wo Gay Ke Upar Film Bana Rahi Hai Socho Uska Naam Kya Hoga?” Banta: “Pata Nahi” Santa: “Backfire“

15.



Santa To Doctor: “Main Susu Subha 6 Baje Karta Hu Aur Potty 7 Baje Karta Hu.” Doctor: “Phir Isme Problem Kya Hai?” Santa: “Doctor Saab, Par Meri Aankh Subha 8 Baje Khulti Hai.“

16.



Class Mein Teacher Ne Pappu Ko Bola Teacher: “Pappu Is Line Ko English Mein Translate Karo – Mera Seena Khushi Se Fool Raha Hai” Pappu: “With Happiness, My Chest Become Breast“

17.



Ek Baar Santa Bike Rok Kar Helmet Khuja Raha Tha.
Ek Aadmi Ne Dekha Aur Hairan Hokar Puucha.
Aadmi: “Helmet Utaar Ke Khujao” Santa: “Chup Be, Jab Teri Gand Pe Khujli Hoti Hai To Kya Pent Utaar Ke Khujata Hai“

18.



Callgirl Ne Bus Stand Par Khade Santa Se Puchha: “Sex Karoge?” Santa: “Jarur, Par Agar Meri Wife Ki Tarha Karogi To” Girl: “Haan Karoon Gi But Wo Kese Karti Hai?” Santa: “Muft Mein“

19.



Ek Bar Talwar-Bazi Ka Muqabala Ho Raha Tha, Jis Main Ek Amrican, Ek Japanese Or Ek Indian Sardar Ji (Santa Singh) Competitor Thhe Amrican Ne Apni Talwar Se Ek Saamp (Snake) Ke Kayi Chote Chote Tukde Kar Diye.
Japanese Ne Jump Maar Ke Talwar Se Giraffe Ki Gardan Kaat Di Public Ne Surprise Ho Ke Jor Jor Se Taliya Bajayi Aur Bole Kamal Kar Diya Ab Santa Ki Baari Aati Hai To Wo Apni Talwar Hawa Mein Ghumata Hai Aur Ek Machchar Ko Touch Karwata Hai Par Machchar Phir Bhi Fly Karta Rehta Hai.
American, Japanese Aur Public Santa Ko Bolte Hai: “Yeh Kya Tha, Kon Sa Teer Mara Hai Tum Ne” Santa: “Salo Ab Yeh Machchar Kabhi Bhaap Nahin Ban Payega.
Kuinki Maine Iska Lund Kaat Dala Hai“

20.



Teacher: “Explain Sex Without Any Bad Word?” Santa: “It Is An Entry Of “Polland” Into “Holland” In Between “Thailand” When Man and Woman Both Are In “Nagaland“.

21.



Pappu Aur Uski Girl-Friend Ghar Mein Bethe Hue The To Pappu Ne Us Se Puchha Pappu: “Do You Know Sperms Are Made Of Glucose and Sugar” Girl-Friend Hairani Se: “Sach? Yaar Yeh Baat To Mujhe Pata Hi Nahi Thi, Thanks.” Pappu: “Chalo Ab Isi Baat Par Muh To Mitha Kar Lo“

22.



लड़की :- मुझे बड़ी ठंड लग रही है,
मेरे दोनो हीटर को छु लो!
लड़का:- अभी भी ठंड लग रही है क्या?
लड़की:- अबे घोन्चु, नीचे प्लग तो लगा.!

23.



Santa Ke Ghar Jab Pappu Hua To Uski Kunwari Saali Kuch Din Rahne Ke Liye Uske Ghar Aayi Ek Din Santa Ne Apni Sali Ko Bola: “Teri Didi Busy Hai, Tu Pappu Ko Doodh Hi Pila De” Sali Hairan Hokar: “Jija Ji, Mere Ko To Doodh Hi Nahi Aata” Santa Bhi Hairan Ho Gaya: “Kamal Hai, Display To Bahut Bhari Hai Aur Stock Kuch Bhi Nahi?“

24.



Sardar Ji School Mein Apne Ladke Ka Report Card Lene Jate Hai Sardar: “Madam Ji Kab Dengi Aap” Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Sardar Ji Period Khatam Hone Tak To Intezar Kar Lo Na.
Fir De Dungi“

25.



Ek Baar Santa Kisi Beach Par Gaya.
Wahaan Use Ek Nangi Ladki Leti Hui Dikhayi Di.
Santa Ko Sharam Aa Gayi To Usne Uske Pichwade Par Apni Topi Rakh Kar Chala Gaya.
Piche Se Ghumta Hua Banta Aa Raha Tha, Usne Ye Nazara Dekha To Chilla Kar Bola Banta: “Bachao-Bachao, Hey Bhagwan Wo Admi Pura Andar Chala Gaya Sirf Topi Bahar Rah Gayi.“

26.



Pappu Ne Gali Mein Jati Hui Ladki Ko Ungli Kardi.
Ladki: “Andha Hai Kya, Dikhta Nahi Hai” Pappu: “Kyu Kya Hua, Sahi Jagah Nahi Gusi Kya?“

27.



Class Mein Teacher Ne Pappu Se Pucha Teacher: “Transparent Word Ka Example Do” Pappu: “Aapki Dress Mein Se Red Bra Dikh Rahi Hai” Teacher Gusse Se: “You Bloody, Kuch To Sharam Kar” Pappu Masumiyat Se: “Mam, Tabhi To Nahi Bola Ki Panty Bhi Fati Hui Hai.“

28.



Santa Ne Ek Din Apni Patni Se Bade Pyar Se Puchha Santa: “Darling, Tumhara Kabhi Dil Nahi Chahta Ke Tum Mard Hoti” Patni Ne Bhi Bada Pyara Jawab Diya Patni: “Kyun Aaj Tumhara Gand Marvane Ka Mann Kar Raha Hai Kya?“

29.



Santa Was Asked To Explain “Rape” He Said: “It Is A Very-Very Difficult Job, It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole“

30.



In A Period Of Sex Education, Teacher Asks.
Teacher: “Why Sperrm Donation Is More Expensive Than Blood Donation?” Pappu: “Mam Simple, Because Hand-Made Things Are Always Costly“