😍 Dosti Wale Jokes – Friends Ki Masti Hinglish Style – 09

1.



एक बार बहू सास की टाँगे दबा रही थी.
सास का घागरा उँचा हो गया.
बहू बोली : प्रणाम! सास बोली : किसको? बहू बोली : ससुर की रणभूमि और पति की जन्मभूमि को.

2.



Santa Banta Se: “Muje Shak Hai Meri Biwi Ki Panty Tere Bedroom Mein Hai?” Banta: “Par Gadhe, Bhabhi Panty Kaha Pehnti Hai?” Santa: “Are Haan, Sorry Yaar Maine Tujhpe Vese Hi Shak Kiya“

3.



Santa Ko Ek Baar Talibano Ne Pakad Liya Aur Kaid Kar Liya Unka Leader Aya Aur Santa Ke Gale Pe Talwar Rakh Ke Bola Leader: “Oye, Ya To Islaam Kabool Karo, Nahi To Gala Kaat Diya Jayega” Santa Rote Hue: “Yaar, Kesa Ajeeb Dharam Hai Tumhara, Kabool Karo To Lulli Kaat Dete Ho, Na Karo To Gardan“

4.



Ek Bar Santa Cycle Pe Gaanv (Village) Jaa Raha Tha.
Raste Mein Ek Sunder Si Ladki Ne Santa Se Lift Maangi Santa Ne Usko Cycle Ke Aage Bitha Liya Thodi Door Jane Par Ladki Ne Santa Se Pucha Ladki: “Maine Suna Hai Ki Punjabi Logo Ka Lund Bahut Bada Hota Hai, Kya Ye Sach Hai?” Santa Bola: “Oye Kudiye, Is Baat Par Yakeen Kar Le Kyunki Ye Cycle Ladies Hai“

5.



Banta Ko Har Baat Mein Gaaliyaan Dene Ki Aadat Thi.
Ek Din Bhaaga-Bhaaga Kahi Jaa Raha Tha To Santa Ne Puchha Santa: “Abe Kidhar Ja Raha Hai?” Banta: “Bahan Ki Chut, Photostate Karane Jaa Raha Hoon” Santa: “Achha, Fir Chut Ki Ek Copy Mujhe Bhi De Diyo.“

6.



Pappu Santa Se: “Daddy Aap To Chutiya Ho” Santa Hairani Se: “Kyu Be?” Pappu: “Aaj Jab Aap Bahar Gaye Thhe To Mummy Uncle Se Kah Rahi Thhi Ki Jaldi Karo Wo Chutiya Aane Wala Hai“

7.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

8.



Santa Ne Pakistan Mein Exam Diya Aur Use Fansi Ki Saza Suna Di Gayi.
Kyu? Kyuki Uske Exam Mein Sawal Tha Ki Musharaf Kab Paida Hua? Santa Ne Answer Diya Tha “Jab Uski Maan Chudi“

9.



Golu Asks Pappu Golu: “What Is Common Between A Girl’s Legs And Amul Butter?” Pappu: “Simple, Both Are Delicious When Spread“

10.



Pappu Aur Uski Girl-Friend Ghar Mein Bethe Hue The To Pappu Ne Us Se Puchha Pappu: “Do You Know Sperms Are Made Of Glucose and Sugar” Girl-Friend Hairani Se: “Sach? Yaar Yeh Baat To Mujhe Pata Hi Nahi Thi, Thanks.” Pappu: “Chalo Ab Isi Baat Par Muh To Mitha Kar Lo“

11.



Santa Khana Khaate-Khaate Apni Biwi (Preeto) Pe Chillata Hai.
Santa: “Arey, Ye Sabzi Mein Baal Ka Guchha Kya Kar Raha Hai?” Preeto: “Arrey, Wo Mere Neeche Ke Baal Hain.” Santa: “Hadd Hai, Ye Sabzi Mein Kyu Daalein Hain?” Preeto: “Aap Hi To Roz Kehte Ho Ki Khane Mein Jhaant Bhar Ka Bhi Swaad Nahi Aata, To Isliye Aaj Maine Daal Diye.“

12.



Santa Galti Se Ladies Toilet Mein Guss Jata Hai Ek Ladies Jo Ander Hoti Hai Chilla Ke Kahti Hai: “Arey Ye Ladies Ke Liye Hai” Santa Apni Zip Khol Ke Kahta Hai: “Ji Ye Bhi Sirf Ladie Ke Liye Hai“

13.



Teacher Class Mein: ” Bachho Koi Batayega Ki New and Old Mariage Mein Kya Farak Hota Hai?” Pappu: “Madam Ji, New Marriage Main Log Lips Mila Ke Sotay Hai Aur Old Marriage Main Hips“

14.



Ek Sardar Ne Raat Mein Sadak Par Chalti Ladki Ko Utha Liya Aur Kisi Sunsaan Jagha Par Jaakar Uska Rape Karne Laga Abhi Vo Rape Karne Hi Wala Thha Ki Ladko Boli: “Ek Kadam Bhi Aage Badhaya To Mein Apne Aap Ko Maar Dalungi” Sardar Bola: “Wah Kudiye, Tenu Mar Jana Kabool Hai Kisi De Kamm Aana Nahi“

15.



Santa Ek Din Apne Gaanv Se Door Shahar Mein Mela Dekhne Aaya Hua Tha.
Wahaan Uski Cycle Chori Ho Gayi, Bechara Zor-Zor Se Rone Lag Gaya.
Santa: “Main Ghar Kaise Jaunga – Main Ghar Kaise Jaunga” Ek Aadmi Ne Ye Dekha To Us Se Raha Na Gaya Aur Santa Se Bola.
Aadmi: “Bhai Ro Mat Aaj Raat Mere Ghar Ruk Kar Subha Gaanv Laut Jana, Par Ek Chhoti Si Problem Hai Mere Paas Sirf Ek Hi Khaat Hai Tumhe Khaat Ke Niche Sona Padega” Santa Maan Gaya, Raat Ko Aadmi Apni Biwi Ke Sath Daru Peekar Sex Karne Laga Aur Masti Mein Bola Aadmi: “Aaj To Teri Chut Mein Saari Duniya Dikh Rahi Hai” Niche Leta Santa Ye Sab Sun Raha Tha, Ek Dam Se Bola Santa: “Bhai Sahab, Please Meri Cycle Bhi Dekh Lena Kahaan Par Hai“

16.



Teacher Class Mein: “Bachho, Jimmedari Pe Ek Sentance Banao” Santa: “Madam Ji, Agar Apke Blause Ke 4 Me Se 3 Batan Tut Jaye To Sari Jimmedari Sirf Ek Batan Par Hogi.“

17.



Dosto Aapne Ye Gaana “Dost Dost Na Raha, Pyar Pyar Na Raha” Bahut Suna Hoga, Par Aaj Mein Aap Logo Ko Iske Piche Ki Story Batata Hun Santa Apni Biwi Ko Sex Mein Santushti Dene Mein Asmarth Tha.
Ek Din Tang Aakar Usne Apne Dost Banta Se Salaah Li.
Usi Raat Santa Ne Apni Biwi Se Sex Karte Hue Puchha Santa: “Darling, Aaj Tumhe Kuch Fark Lag Raha Hai?” Biwi Khush Hote Hue: “Haan Janu, Aaj Tum Bilkul Banta Ki Tarah Kar Rahe Ho“

18.



Santa Aur Banta Bethe Baat Kar Rahe Thhe Santa: “Yaar Jab Tu Paida Ho Raha Thha To Tune Sir Pahle Nikala Ya Pair” Banta: “Maine Pair Pahle Nikale, Aur Tune?” Santa: “Mene To Bhai Sir Nikala Thha” Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Purane Log Kahte Hai Kisi Ki Phati Mein Tang Nahi Adani Chahiye“

19.



Santa Ek Bar Apna Blood Test Karvane Hospital Gaya.
Nurse Ne Uski Finger Mein Se Blood Leke Finger Ko Muh Mein Dal Liya Do Min Baad Santa Khada Hoke Dance Karne Lag Gaya Nurse Ne Muh Mein Se Ungli Nikal Ke Pucha: “Dance Kyu Kar Rahe Ho?” Santa: “Oye Kudiye, Agla Test Urine Ka Hai“

20.



Santa Ka Juta Fat Gaya, Usne Juta Mochi Ko Diya Aur Kaha, Santa: “Jute Ko Aisa Silna, Aisa Chamkana Ke Shakal Nazar Aaye” Mochi Ne Jute Ko Sil Kar Usme Shisha Fit Kar Diya Santa Khush Ho Gaya Aur Apni Shop Par Gaya,Uski Shop Par Ek Modern Ladki Aayi Santa Ne Juta Uski Tangon Ke Niche Kiya Aur Bola Santa: “Apne Blue Panty Paheni Hai Na” Ladki Hairan, Agle Din Wo Red Panty Pahen Kar Aayi, Santa Ne Phir Use Bola, Santa: “Apne Red Panty Paheni Hai Na” Teesre Din Wo Panty Pehan Kar Hi Nahi Aayi.
Jaise Hi Santa Ne Juta Age Kiya To Bola Santa: “Oohhhh, Bhenchod Juta Fir Se Fat Gaya“

21.



Pappu Jab Chota Tha To Madam Ne Ek Din Usko Bade Pyar Se Puchha Madam: “Pappu Beta, Tumhe Sabse Jyada Maza Kab Aata Hai?” Pappu Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aap Mujhe Susu Karane Ke Liye Meri Nunni Hath Se Bahar Nikalti Ho”

22.



Santa Ki Biwi Pregnant Thi Aur Vo Uske Saath Sex Nahi Kar Sakta Tha Ek Din Santa Ghar Aa Kar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Mujhe Tharak Bahut Chadd Rahi Thhi, Banta Ki Biwi Ko 100 Rs.
Diye Aur Chod Kar Aa Raha Hoon” Santa Ki Biwi Boli: “Tum Na Bikul Bevkoof Ho, Lutt Ke Aa Gaye… Banta To Yaha 50 Rs.
Mein Karke Jata Hai.
“

23.



Apne Santa Singh Ji Kayi Dino Se Apni Biwi Se Door Thhe.
Ek Din Ghumne Nikle To Kadam Behak Gaye Aur Red Line Area Mein Pahoonch Gaye.
Ek Dalal Ne Santa Ko Dekha Toh Woh Uske Peeche Pad Gaya.
Santa Se Bola Yahan Ek Bahut Hasin Cheez Hai Tabiyat Khush Ho Jayegi.
Santa: “Paisi Kitni Legi?” Dalal: “Palang Ke 500, Khat Par Karoge To 200 Aur 100 Mein Chatai” Santa Ne Socha Kabhi Chatai Par Nahi Kiya Aur Phir Paise Bhi To Kam Lag Rahe Hain, Usne Chatai Ke Liye Haami Bhar Di.
Dalal Use Ek Makaan Mein Legaya, Aur Bola Tum Intezaar Karo Main Abhi Ladki Ko Bhejta Hoon.
Thodi Der Baad Ek Khubsoorat Ladki Aayi Aur Santa Ke Samne Saare Kapde Utaar Kar Khadi Ho Gayi.
Santa: “Yeh Kya Hai?” Ladki: “100 Rs Mein Tumne Chatai Tay Ki Thi, Abb Chato Aur Jaao“

24.



Madam Claas Mein Bachho Ko Pada Rahi Thhi I For Ink J For Jug K For Kite L For Lund Ohh! Sorry Baccho Galti Se Muh Se Nikal Gaya.
Pappu: “Koi Baat Nahi Madam Wapas Muh Mein Le Lijiye“

25.



Sardar Ji, Aapko Logo Ne Kyun Maara??? Sardar: “Arey Yaar Meri Photo Bus Mein Gir Gayi Thhi, Maine Kaha Madam Zara Saari Upar Karna Maine Photo Lena Hai“

26.



Santa To Doctor: “Main Susu Subha 6 Baje Karta Hu Aur Potty 7 Baje Karta Hu.” Doctor: “Phir Isme Problem Kya Hai?” Santa: “Doctor Saab, Par Meri Aankh Subha 8 Baje Khulti Hai.“

27.



A Girl After Taking Santa’s Dick In Her Mouth: “1000 Nikal Warna Kaat Lungi” Santa: “500 Mujhe De Warna Peshaab Kar Donga“

28.



Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U? Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do..

29.



Class Mein Ek Nayi Ladki Aayi To Pappu Ka Tharki Mann Mein Usko Patane Ka Khayal Aya Vo Us Ladki Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola Pappu: “Agar Tum 1 Minute Mein Apna Weight 500grams Kam Kar Do To, Tum Bahut Hi Jyada Sunder Aur Sexy Lagogi, Aur Main Tumhe Pyar Bhi Karunga” Ladki Khush Hoke Boli: “Achha, Iske Liye Mujhe Kya Karna Hoga?” Pappu: “Bas Apne Kapde Utaar Do“

30.



Santa Apni Biwi Preeto Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Thha, Par Usko Thoda Sa Tight Feel Hua.
To Usne Dimag Lagaya Aur Sath Mein Pade Glass Mein Se Doodh Liya Aur Lund Pe Laga Ke Chodna Shuru Kar Diya.
Aisa Karne Se Usko Itna Maja Aaya Ki Vo Roj Roj Yahi Karne Lag Gaya.
9 Mahine Bad Biwi Jab Pregnant Hui To Hospital Mein Admit Karvaya.
Jaisi Hi Doctor Operation Theater Se Bahar Nikla To Santa Ne Us Se Pucha.
Santa: “Dr Saab, Kya Hua Baby Ya Baba?” Doctor Huste Hue: “No Baby Or No Baba, Only 1kg Paneer Nikla Hai, Yahi Khana Hai Ya Pack Kar Du“