😁 Padosi Ki Taang Khichai – Funny Mohalle Wale Jokes – 05

1.



Santa Roz-Roz Office Ki Canteen Ka Khana Kha Kar Bore Ho Chuka Tha, Aaj Uska Man Ghar Ja Kar Apni Biwi Ke Hath Ka Khana Khane Ko Kar Raha Tha, Santa Bin Bataye Ghar Aaya To Usne Dekha Ki Biwi Palang Par Nangi Leti Hui Hai, Pasina Nikal Raha Hai Aur Saans Fool Rahi Hai.
Santa Ne Apni Patni Se Pucha: “Kya Hua?“ Biwi: “Dil Gabra Raha Hai, Jaldi Se Doctor Ko Bulao“ Santa Doctor Ko Bulane Bhaga To Pappu Ne Darwaje Par Santa Ko Roka Aur Bola.
Pappu: “Papa, Chachu Bed Ke Niche Nange Chupe Hai“ Santa Wapis Aaya, Bed Ke Niche Dekha Aur Apne Bhai Ko Nikal Kar Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Bhosdi Ke, Teri Bhabhi Ko Heart Attack Aaya Hai Aur Tu Nanga Ho Ke Bed Ke Niche Chupa Hai Saale“

2.



During Sex Jeeto Asks To Santa Repeatedly: “Do You Love Me, Do You Really Love Me?” Irritated Santa Shouted: “What The Hell Do You Think, I Am Doing Pushups?“

3.



Pappu Ne Apne Baap Santa Ki Tambaku Ki Dibbiya Pe “Chut” Likh Diya.
Santa: “Abbe Sale Yeh Kya Likh Diya Hai” Pappu: “Arey Papa, Yeh Toh Mene Aapki Suvidha Ke Liye Likha Hai, Jidhar ‘Chu’ Hai Udhar Chuna Hai Aur Jidhar ‘T’ Hai Udhar Tambaku“

4.



Teacher: Machchhar k Katne Se Maleria hota hai Aids kyu Nahi ? Student: Qki Machchhar Dunk Marta hai Gaand nahi.
Aage se Bakchodi Wale Sawal mat Puchhna.

5.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

6.



Banta Bhaaga-Bhaaga Santa Ke Ghar Aaya Aur Khushi Se Bola.
Banta: “Oye Santa, Aaj TV Pe Rakhi Sawant, Apne 38-Inch Ke Boobs Dikhane Wali Hai” Santa Udaas Hokar Bola: “Achha, Par Main Nahi Dekh Paunga” Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Mera TV To Sirf 21-Inch Ka Hai?“

7.



Define A Ture Harami? A Harami Is Someone Who Visits A Medical Store, Instead Of An Ice Cream Parlour When His Girlfriend Says: “I Love Strawberry Flavor“

8.



Santa Mobile Shop Ke Bahar Khada Mobile Dekh Raha Tha.
Andar Se Salesman Ne Smile Dete Hue Awaj Lagayi Salesman: “Please Come Inside and Choose” Santa Gusse Se: “Bhosadi Ke Tu Bahar Aa Aur Mera Choos…!!!!!”

9.



Biwi Ke Kuch Dino Se Mayake Mein Hone Ki Wajah Se Santa Ko Badi Tharki Chadi Hui Thi.
To Tang Aake Kothe Pe Gaya.
Waha Dalal Ne Sabhi Cgs Ke Nam Car Ke Namo Pe Rakhe Hue The.
Dalal: “Kon Si Chahiye” “Honda Civic Rs 10000, Ford Figo Rs 8000, Hundai i10 Rs 6000, Maruti Alto Rs 4000, Tata Nano Rs 500.” Santa Ne Kaam Hi Chalana Tha To Paise Bachane Ke Liye Bola Santa: “Nano Hi Laa Do” Dalal Thodi Der Baad Ek Hijde Ko Lekar Aa Gaya Ye Dekhte Hi Santa Gusse Se Laal Peela Hote Hue Bola.
Santa: “Abe Sale Ye Kya Hai?” Dalal Muskurate Hue: “Sir Nano Ka Engine Pichhe Hota Hai“

10.



Santa Apni Girl Friend Ke Saath Movie Dekhne Gaya.
Par Jane Se Pahle Usne Chupp Ke Se Sharab Ke 3 4 Peg Pee Liye.
Kuch Der Movie Chali To Santa Ka Scenes Dekh Ke Mood Ban Gaya Aur Girl Friend Se Chipkane Lag Gaya Kuch Minutes Ke Baad Achanak Zor Zor Se Chillane Lag Gaya Santa: “Haye Rabba, Mera Lund Kaha Hai, Mera Lund Kidhar Gaya?” Ladki Gusse: “Abe Gandu Chup Kar, Tune Meri Panty Mein Haath Dala Hua Hai“

11.



Ek Baar Pappu Plane Se U.S.A Jaa Raha Tha, Sath Mein Ek Angrej Baitha Hua Thha.
Pappu Ne Us Se Time Pucha, Angrej: “Hi Main Ek Scientist Hoon” Pappu: “Hello, Main Engineer Hoon” Angrej: “Wow Engineer, Kya Hum Kuch Topics Par Baat Kar Sakte Hai?” Pappu: “Bilkul” Angrej: “Achcha, Tum Mujhe Nuclear Power Ke Baare Mein Kuch Baatao?” Pappu Ab Ye Sun Ke Chup Rah Gaya.
Angrej: “Ohhh, To Tum Nahi Jante” Pappu: “Jaanta To Hun, Par Sir Pahle Aap Mere Ek Question Ka Answer Do” Angrej: “Hmmm, Puchho” Pappu: “Mandir Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai Aur Church Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai.
To Phir Church Ka Ghanta Mandir Ke Ghante Se Bada Kyu Hota Hai?” Angrej kuch der soch kar bola: “Pata nahi, Main Nahi Jaanta” Pappu uska majaak udate hue bola: “Abe Ja Sale, Pata Tujhe Ghante Ka Bhi Nahi Hai Aur Baatein Nuclear Power Ki Karta Hai“

12.



Santa Apni Biwi Ki Gand (Back Side) Maar Raha Tha.
Us Ki Biwi Chillaane Lag Gayi: “Aah, Aah Mar Gayi Main Nikalo Bada Dard Ho Raha Hai” Santa Gusse Se Bola Bola: “Oye Tum Zyada Chalaak Mat Bano Mujko Pata Hai Kitna Dard Hota Hai“

13.



Santa Ki Biwi Pregnant Thi Aur Vo Uske Saath Sex Nahi Kar Sakta Tha Ek Din Santa Ghar Aa Kar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Mujhe Tharak Bahut Chadd Rahi Thhi, Banta Ki Biwi Ko 100 Rs.
Diye Aur Chod Kar Aa Raha Hoon” Santa Ki Biwi Boli: “Tum Na Bikul Bevkoof Ho, Lutt Ke Aa Gaye… Banta To Yaha 50 Rs.
Mein Karke Jata Hai.
“

14.



Madam Class Mein: “SEX And SIX Mein Kya Difference Hai?” Santa: “Madam Ji Main Batau” Madam: “Yes” Santa: “Balla Utha Ke Maro To SIX Aur Skirt Utha Ke Maro To SEX“

15.



एक मोची की शादी हुई.
और सुहागरात रात में वो कुछ किये बेगर ही सो गया। बीवी ने उसका हाथ अपने नीचे लगाया तो वो चौककर बोला, इसकी सिलाई के 50 रूपये लूँगा.

16.



Santa Roz Biwi Ko Sex Ke Waqt Bolta Tha.
Santa: “Aur Tight Kar – Aur Tight Kar, Achhe Se Tight Kar” Biwi Tang Aakar Ek Din Gusse Se Boli: “Bhosdi Ke Bahar Jaa Ke Ganne Ke Juice Ki Machine Main Dal Le, Tight Bhi Pura Hoga Aur Juice Bhi Jyada Niklega“

17.



Pappu Aur Uski Girl-Friend Ghar Mein Bethe Hue The To Pappu Ne Us Se Puchha Pappu: “Do You Know Sperms Are Made Of Glucose and Sugar” Girl-Friend Hairani Se: “Sach? Yaar Yeh Baat To Mujhe Pata Hi Nahi Thi, Thanks.” Pappu: “Chalo Ab Isi Baat Par Muh To Mitha Kar Lo“

18.



Santa Ko Ek Baar Talibano Ne Pakad Liya Aur Kaid Kar Liya Unka Leader Aya Aur Santa Ke Gale Pe Talwar Rakh Ke Bola Leader: “Oye, Ya To Islaam Kabool Karo, Nahi To Gala Kaat Diya Jayega” Santa Rote Hue: “Yaar, Kesa Ajeeb Dharam Hai Tumhara, Kabool Karo To Lulli Kaat Dete Ho, Na Karo To Gardan“

19.



Next Day Santa Ki Choti Beti Ne Santa Se Kaha: “Papa, Main Ma Ban Ne Wali Hu” Santa Aag Baboola Ho Gaya Aur Gusse Se Bola: “Sali Kutti, Kahan Chudva Ke Aayi Ho, Kon Hai Vo Bhen Ka Loda, Tune To Pure Khandan Ki Ma Chudva Di.” Ladki Fatafatt Boli: “Papa Pahle Puri Baat To Suno Lo, Main School Ke Natak Main Maa Ban Ne Wali Hu.“

20.



Class Me Baithi Ladki Ki Bra Ka Hook “Tak” Ki Awaj Ke Sath Tut Gaya.
Teacher Ne Pucha: “Arey Kya Hua?, Ye Awaaj Kaisi Thi?” Ladki Ke Piche Baitha Pappu Ek Dum Se Bola “Madam, Do Panchi Pinjra Todkar Azad Ho Gaye, Pakad Lu Kya?”

21.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Bachho Ki Knowledge Check Karne Ke Liye Ek Sawal Puchha Teacher: “Wo Koun Sa Department Hai? Jis Mein Ladkiya Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?” Pappu Ne Haath Khada Kiya Aur Muskurate Hue Jawab Diya Pappu: “Fire Brigade, Kyunki Ladkiyo Ka Kaam Aag Bujhana Nahi Aag Lagana Hai.“ ,Master Class Mein Bachho Ko Samajha Raha Tha, Master: “Agar Koi Apni Baat Doosre Ko Na Samjha Sake To Wo Chutiya Hota Hai” Pappu: “Sir Ji, Kya Matlab Main Samjha Nahi“

22.



Ek Din Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha: “Oye Ek Baat Bata, Ladki Aur Bijli Ki Taar Mein Kya Farak Hai?” Banta: “Yaar Jyada Farak Nahi Hai, Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain.”

23.



Teacher: Prove That AB/AG + 2MP + 4WD + 9MC = ABC? Pappu: “A Boy Over A Girl + 2 Minute Pain + 4 White Drops + 9 Months Course = A Beautiful Child.

24.



Baba Saxidas Shehar Mein Kuch Kam Se Aaye Hue Thhe, Aur Media Wale Unke Piche Vaha Bhi Pahunch Gaye.
Ek Tharki Reporter Ne Pucha: “Baba, What Is The Similarity Between Bra, Panty and Isnurance?” Baba Saxidas Bole: “Kya Yaar, Tum Log Itna Bhi Nahi Jante, They All Provide Minimum Cover To Maximum Risky Areas“

25.



Santa To Doctor: “Main Susu Subha 6 Baje Karta Hu Aur Potty 7 Baje Karta Hu.” Doctor: “Phir Isme Problem Kya Hai?” Santa: “Doctor Saab, Par Meri Aankh Subha 8 Baje Khulti Hai.“

26.



Santa Ek Bar USA Gaya To Vaha Uska Bhi Dil Kara Ki Ek Club Mein Jau Aur Dekho Kitna Maja Hai Vaha Ki Life Mein.
Club Mein Dancer Dance Kar Rahi Thhi, Thoda Sa Jhuki Toh, American Ne $100 Uski Bra Mein Dale, British Ne $200 Dale, Santa Ne Dimag Lagaya Aur ATM Card Uski Gaand Mein Ghusa Ke Swap Karvaya Aur $300 Leke Chalta Bana.

27.



वासना, प्यार और शादी में क्या फ़र्क है ? संता : वासना मे पेंटी को फाड़ते हैं, प्यार मे उतारते हैं, और शादी मे धोकर सुखाकर अलमारी मे रखते हैं.

28.



Ek Baar Ek Aaurat Apni Dono Taangey Khol Kar Sante Ke Samne Late Gai Or Sante Se Boli: “Kya Tum Jante Ho Ke Iska Matlab Kya Hai?” Santa Ne Kaha: “Haan Janta Hu Iska Matlab, Tu Saali Poorey Bed Par Akeli Sona Chahti Hai“.

29.



Ajakal Ke Time Mein Ladkiya Bewafa Kyu Hoti Hai, Aur Biwiya Apne Mard Ko Chhod Kar Dusre Mardo Ke Piche Kyu Bhagti Hai.
Is Cheez Par Research Karke Hamare Pujniye Baba Saxidas Ji Ne Ek Slogan Banaya Hai.
Rozana Muth Marne Se Parhez Kariye, Yaad Rakhein Ke Lund Jaandar To Mard Shaandar,

30.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“