1.
एक लड़की की पैट्रोल डालने वाले से शादी हो गई..
दुल्हन की सहेलिया: सुहागरात कैसी रही?
दुल्हन: बेवकूफ सारी रात हाथ में लेकर घूमता रहा..
और बार-बार पूछता रहा कितना डालू
एक लड़की की पैट्रोल डालने वाले से शादी हो गई..
दुल्हन की सहेलिया: सुहागरात कैसी रही?
दुल्हन: बेवकूफ सारी रात हाथ में लेकर घूमता रहा..
और बार-बार पूछता रहा कितना डालू
2.
Santa Apni Biwi Se: “Aaj Tumhari Choti Behan Ko Apne Ghar Mein Dekh Ke Bahut Khushi Ho Rahi Hai” Biwi: “Haanji, Aapki Khushi Pajame Mein Se Jhalak Rahi Hai“
Santa Apni Biwi Se: “Aaj Tumhari Choti Behan Ko Apne Ghar Mein Dekh Ke Bahut Khushi Ho Rahi Hai” Biwi: “Haanji, Aapki Khushi Pajame Mein Se Jhalak Rahi Hai“
3.
Hindi Ki Madam Ne Class Mein Pappu Ko Khada Kiya Aur Puchha Madam: “Aaj Dhoom-Dham Se Meri Shaadi Hui – Is Past Tense Ko Future Tense Mein Badal Kar Batao?” Pappu Besharmi Se Bola: “Aaj Raat Aapki Jamkar Thoka-Thukayi Hogi”
Hindi Ki Madam Ne Class Mein Pappu Ko Khada Kiya Aur Puchha Madam: “Aaj Dhoom-Dham Se Meri Shaadi Hui – Is Past Tense Ko Future Tense Mein Badal Kar Batao?” Pappu Besharmi Se Bola: “Aaj Raat Aapki Jamkar Thoka-Thukayi Hogi”
4.
सूहागरात का सबसे बड़ा झटका : सुहागरात की तैयारी हो चुकी हो और
पत्नी पति से बोली :कंडोम सिर्फ़ कोहिनूर ही लेना,
बाकी से मुझे एलर्जी हो जाती हे.
सूहागरात का सबसे बड़ा झटका : सुहागरात की तैयारी हो चुकी हो और
पत्नी पति से बोली :कंडोम सिर्फ़ कोहिनूर ही लेना,
बाकी से मुझे एलर्जी हो जाती हे.
5.
Santa Ek Din Bada Confuse Sa Thha Aur Usne Banta Se Pucha Santa: “Yaar Teri Biwi Chalu Hai, Mujhe Hamesha Dekh Ke Muskurati Rahti Hai?” Banta: “Oye Nahi Yaar Esa Kuch Nahi Hai, Usne Mujhse Suhagraat Pe Puchha Tha, Kya Mene Kabhi Kisi Ki Gaand Mari Hai, To Maine Tera Naam Le Diya Tha“
Santa Ek Din Bada Confuse Sa Thha Aur Usne Banta Se Pucha Santa: “Yaar Teri Biwi Chalu Hai, Mujhe Hamesha Dekh Ke Muskurati Rahti Hai?” Banta: “Oye Nahi Yaar Esa Kuch Nahi Hai, Usne Mujhse Suhagraat Pe Puchha Tha, Kya Mene Kabhi Kisi Ki Gaand Mari Hai, To Maine Tera Naam Le Diya Tha“
6.
Santa Apni Gharwali Ke Sath Bus Mein Apne Mayake Ja Raha Thha Santa Ki Biwi Uske Kaan Mein Boli: “Suno Ji, Piche Wala Mere Bra Mein Hath Dal Raha Hai” Santa Hass Ke Bola: “Dalne De, Tu Chinta Na Kar Tera Purse Mere Pass Hai“
Santa Apni Gharwali Ke Sath Bus Mein Apne Mayake Ja Raha Thha Santa Ki Biwi Uske Kaan Mein Boli: “Suno Ji, Piche Wala Mere Bra Mein Hath Dal Raha Hai” Santa Hass Ke Bola: “Dalne De, Tu Chinta Na Kar Tera Purse Mere Pass Hai“
7.
Arz Kiya H Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,
Gaur Farmaiyega.
Wah Wah, !!! ,
Sun to Le Bhosdi ke,
Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,
Use Kehte H Jhaat K Baal...
Arz Kiya H Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,
Gaur Farmaiyega.
Wah Wah, !!! ,
Sun to Le Bhosdi ke,
Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,
Use Kehte H Jhaat K Baal...
8.
Hindi Ki Madam Class Mein Bachho Ka Hindi Grammar Ka Oral Test Le Rahi Thi.
Madam: “Saamp Bhi Mar Jaye Aur Lathi Bhi Na Toote – Is Muhavare Ko Ek Shabad Mein Samjhao” Pappu Muskurate Hue Bola: “Mam, Masturbation (Muth)“
Hindi Ki Madam Class Mein Bachho Ka Hindi Grammar Ka Oral Test Le Rahi Thi.
Madam: “Saamp Bhi Mar Jaye Aur Lathi Bhi Na Toote – Is Muhavare Ko Ek Shabad Mein Samjhao” Pappu Muskurate Hue Bola: “Mam, Masturbation (Muth)“
9.
Madam Claas Mein Bachho Ko Pada Rahi Thhi I For Ink J For Jug K For Kite L For Lund Ohh! Sorry Baccho Galti Se Muh Se Nikal Gaya.
Pappu: “Koi Baat Nahi Madam Wapas Muh Mein Le Lijiye“
Madam Claas Mein Bachho Ko Pada Rahi Thhi I For Ink J For Jug K For Kite L For Lund Ohh! Sorry Baccho Galti Se Muh Se Nikal Gaya.
Pappu: “Koi Baat Nahi Madam Wapas Muh Mein Le Lijiye“
10.
Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai, Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?” Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“
Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai, Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?” Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“
11.
Pappu Ne Collage Mein Aayi Ek Nayi Ladki Se Puchha Pappu: “Kya Mein Apke Boobs Ka Doodh Pee Sakta Hoon” Ladki Hairan Hokar: “Arrey, Main To Aapko Janti Bhi Nahi?” Pappu: “Bilkul, Par Meri Maa Hamesha Kehti Hai Ke Shubh Kaam Karne Se Pehle Ladki Ka Doodh Pee Lena Chahiye” Ladki Ne Taras Kha Ke Bola: “Ye Lo Pee Lo, Vese Kya Shubh Kaam Karne Jaa Rahe The” Pappu: “Mein Aapko Chodne Ki Soch Raha Thha“
Pappu Ne Collage Mein Aayi Ek Nayi Ladki Se Puchha Pappu: “Kya Mein Apke Boobs Ka Doodh Pee Sakta Hoon” Ladki Hairan Hokar: “Arrey, Main To Aapko Janti Bhi Nahi?” Pappu: “Bilkul, Par Meri Maa Hamesha Kehti Hai Ke Shubh Kaam Karne Se Pehle Ladki Ka Doodh Pee Lena Chahiye” Ladki Ne Taras Kha Ke Bola: “Ye Lo Pee Lo, Vese Kya Shubh Kaam Karne Jaa Rahe The” Pappu: “Mein Aapko Chodne Ki Soch Raha Thha“
12.
What Do Santa and Banta Says To Each Other If They Share The Same Girl? Ans: “Assi Tussi Same Pussy, Kabhi Tu Ghussy, Kabhi Mein Ghussy.”
What Do Santa and Banta Says To Each Other If They Share The Same Girl? Ans: “Assi Tussi Same Pussy, Kabhi Tu Ghussy, Kabhi Mein Ghussy.”
13.
Santa Ko Apne Achhe Kam Ki Vajah Se Company Mein Pramotion Mili Aur Vo Manager Ban Gaya.
Usne Apni Patni Ko Ye Good News Is Tarike Se Sunayi Santa: “Darling, Sunti Ho Aaj Raat Ko Tum Company Ke Manager Ke Saath Soyegi” Biwi Khushi Ke Mare Uchhal Padi Aur Boli Biwi: “Sachiiiii, Ye To Batao, Sharma Sir Ke Saath Ya Patel Sir Ke Saath“
Santa Ko Apne Achhe Kam Ki Vajah Se Company Mein Pramotion Mili Aur Vo Manager Ban Gaya.
Usne Apni Patni Ko Ye Good News Is Tarike Se Sunayi Santa: “Darling, Sunti Ho Aaj Raat Ko Tum Company Ke Manager Ke Saath Soyegi” Biwi Khushi Ke Mare Uchhal Padi Aur Boli Biwi: “Sachiiiii, Ye To Batao, Sharma Sir Ke Saath Ya Patel Sir Ke Saath“
14.
Ek Raat Ko Santa Fashion Tv Dekh Raha Tha To Achank Uska Ladka Aa Jata Hai To Banta Fatafat Bola: “Gareeb Ladkiyan Hain Bechari Kapde Kharidne Ke Liye Bhi Pese Nahi Hain” Ladka: “Daddy ! Jab Inse Bhi Gareeb Ladkiyan Aaye To Mujhe Bhi Awaj Laga Dena“
Ek Raat Ko Santa Fashion Tv Dekh Raha Tha To Achank Uska Ladka Aa Jata Hai To Banta Fatafat Bola: “Gareeb Ladkiyan Hain Bechari Kapde Kharidne Ke Liye Bhi Pese Nahi Hain” Ladka: “Daddy ! Jab Inse Bhi Gareeb Ladkiyan Aaye To Mujhe Bhi Awaj Laga Dena“
15.
Santa Suhag Raat Ko Sex Karte Hue Biwi Se Bola: “Teri Choot Badi Loose Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Jaldi Apna Lund Bahar Nikal, Aur Mera Cash, Car, LCD, AC and Jewellery Vapis Kar” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye Bola: “Janu Main To Majak Kar Raha Thha, Mera Lund Hi Patla Aur Chota Hai“
Santa Suhag Raat Ko Sex Karte Hue Biwi Se Bola: “Teri Choot Badi Loose Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Jaldi Apna Lund Bahar Nikal, Aur Mera Cash, Car, LCD, AC and Jewellery Vapis Kar” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye Bola: “Janu Main To Majak Kar Raha Thha, Mera Lund Hi Patla Aur Chota Hai“
16.
Ek Ladki Roti Hui Police Station Ayi Aur Inspector Ko Boli Ladki: “Kal Raat Ko Andhere Ka Fayda Utha Ke Santa Ne Mera Rape Kar Diya” Inspector Hairan Hokar: “Madam Ek To Aap Bol Rahi Ho Ki Raat Thhi, Dusra Pure Mohalle Mein Aapko Sirf Santa Pe Hi Shak Kyu Hua?” Ladki Rote Hue: “Kyunki, Mujhe Usko Batana Pada Thha Ki Kya Karna Hai Aur Kaisi Karna Hai“
Ek Ladki Roti Hui Police Station Ayi Aur Inspector Ko Boli Ladki: “Kal Raat Ko Andhere Ka Fayda Utha Ke Santa Ne Mera Rape Kar Diya” Inspector Hairan Hokar: “Madam Ek To Aap Bol Rahi Ho Ki Raat Thhi, Dusra Pure Mohalle Mein Aapko Sirf Santa Pe Hi Shak Kyu Hua?” Ladki Rote Hue: “Kyunki, Mujhe Usko Batana Pada Thha Ki Kya Karna Hai Aur Kaisi Karna Hai“
17.
Sir Miss Ke Boobs Daba Raha Tha Pappu Ne Dekh Liya.
Is Se Pahle Pappu Kuch Bolta, Sir Bola Sir: “Beta, Miss Ke Sine Mein Dard Hai Isliye Daba Raha Hoon” Pappu Gusse Se: “Bhonsdi Ke Bacha Hoon Koi Chutiya Nahi, Main Bhi HBO Dekhta Hoon – Pogo Nahi”
Sir Miss Ke Boobs Daba Raha Tha Pappu Ne Dekh Liya.
Is Se Pahle Pappu Kuch Bolta, Sir Bola Sir: “Beta, Miss Ke Sine Mein Dard Hai Isliye Daba Raha Hoon” Pappu Gusse Se: “Bhonsdi Ke Bacha Hoon Koi Chutiya Nahi, Main Bhi HBO Dekhta Hoon – Pogo Nahi”
18.
What Do Santa and Banta Says To Each Other If They Share The Same Girl? Ans: “Assi Tussi Same Pussy, Kabhi Tu Ghussy, Kabhi Mein Ghussy.”
What Do Santa and Banta Says To Each Other If They Share The Same Girl? Ans: “Assi Tussi Same Pussy, Kabhi Tu Ghussy, Kabhi Mein Ghussy.”
19.
Next Day Santa Ki Choti Beti Ne Santa Se Kaha: “Papa, Main Ma Ban Ne Wali Hu” Santa Aag Baboola Ho Gaya Aur Gusse Se Bola: “Sali Kutti, Kahan Chudva Ke Aayi Ho, Kon Hai Vo Bhen Ka Loda, Tune To Pure Khandan Ki Ma Chudva Di.” Ladki Fatafatt Boli: “Papa Pahle Puri Baat To Suno Lo, Main School Ke Natak Main Maa Ban Ne Wali Hu.“
Next Day Santa Ki Choti Beti Ne Santa Se Kaha: “Papa, Main Ma Ban Ne Wali Hu” Santa Aag Baboola Ho Gaya Aur Gusse Se Bola: “Sali Kutti, Kahan Chudva Ke Aayi Ho, Kon Hai Vo Bhen Ka Loda, Tune To Pure Khandan Ki Ma Chudva Di.” Ladki Fatafatt Boli: “Papa Pahle Puri Baat To Suno Lo, Main School Ke Natak Main Maa Ban Ne Wali Hu.“
20.
Santa In Kaun Banega Carorpati Amitab Bhachan: “”Sardar Ji What Is The Colour Of Your Wife’s Bra” A: White B: Black C: Red D: Pink Santa: “Can I Call A Friend?“
Santa In Kaun Banega Carorpati Amitab Bhachan: “”Sardar Ji What Is The Colour Of Your Wife’s Bra” A: White B: Black C: Red D: Pink Santa: “Can I Call A Friend?“
21.
Santa Ka Juta Fat Gaya, Usne Juta Mochi Ko Diya Aur Kaha, Santa: “Jute Ko Aisa Silna, Aisa Chamkana Ke Shakal Nazar Aaye” Mochi Ne Jute Ko Sil Kar Usme Shisha Fit Kar Diya Santa Khush Ho Gaya Aur Apni Shop Par Gaya,Uski Shop Par Ek Modern Ladki Aayi Santa Ne Juta Uski Tangon Ke Niche Kiya Aur Bola Santa: “Apne Blue Panty Paheni Hai Na” Ladki Hairan, Agle Din Wo Red Panty Pahen Kar Aayi, Santa Ne Phir Use Bola, Santa: “Apne Red Panty Paheni Hai Na” Teesre Din Wo Panty Pehan Kar Hi Nahi Aayi.
Jaise Hi Santa Ne Juta Age Kiya To Bola Santa: “Oohhhh, Bhenchod Juta Fir Se Fat Gaya“
Santa Ka Juta Fat Gaya, Usne Juta Mochi Ko Diya Aur Kaha, Santa: “Jute Ko Aisa Silna, Aisa Chamkana Ke Shakal Nazar Aaye” Mochi Ne Jute Ko Sil Kar Usme Shisha Fit Kar Diya Santa Khush Ho Gaya Aur Apni Shop Par Gaya,Uski Shop Par Ek Modern Ladki Aayi Santa Ne Juta Uski Tangon Ke Niche Kiya Aur Bola Santa: “Apne Blue Panty Paheni Hai Na” Ladki Hairan, Agle Din Wo Red Panty Pahen Kar Aayi, Santa Ne Phir Use Bola, Santa: “Apne Red Panty Paheni Hai Na” Teesre Din Wo Panty Pehan Kar Hi Nahi Aayi.
Jaise Hi Santa Ne Juta Age Kiya To Bola Santa: “Oohhhh, Bhenchod Juta Fir Se Fat Gaya“
22.
Santa Ke College Time Mein Uski Ek Premika Santa Ko Bade Pyar Se Boli.
Premika: “Darling, Shaadi Ke Baad Tum Mujhe Subha Se Lekar Shaam Tak, Shaam Se Lekar Subha Tak Pyaar Karna” Santa Hairani Se: “Abe Sali, To Fir Main Tatti Kab Karunga?“
Santa Ke College Time Mein Uski Ek Premika Santa Ko Bade Pyar Se Boli.
Premika: “Darling, Shaadi Ke Baad Tum Mujhe Subha Se Lekar Shaam Tak, Shaam Se Lekar Subha Tak Pyaar Karna” Santa Hairani Se: “Abe Sali, To Fir Main Tatti Kab Karunga?“
23.
Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?” Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se” Teacher: “Wo Kaisi” Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“
Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?” Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se” Teacher: “Wo Kaisi” Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“
24.
Teacher: “Explain Sex Without Any Bad Word?” Santa: “It Is An Entry Of “Polland” Into “Holland” In Between “Thailand” When Man and Woman Both Are In “Nagaland“.
Teacher: “Explain Sex Without Any Bad Word?” Santa: “It Is An Entry Of “Polland” Into “Holland” In Between “Thailand” When Man and Woman Both Are In “Nagaland“.
25.
Santa Apni Biwi Se: “Aaj Tumhari Choti Behan Ko Apne Ghar Mein Dekh Ke Bahut Khushi Ho Rahi Hai” Biwi: “Haanji, Aapki Khushi Pajame Mein Se Jhalak Rahi Hai“
Santa Apni Biwi Se: “Aaj Tumhari Choti Behan Ko Apne Ghar Mein Dekh Ke Bahut Khushi Ho Rahi Hai” Biwi: “Haanji, Aapki Khushi Pajame Mein Se Jhalak Rahi Hai“
26.
Baba Saxidas ka zindagi ko achhe tareeke se jeene ka formula:
Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne ke liye karoge,
to doosron ki gaand mein ungli karne ka waqt hi nahi milega.
Baba Saxidas ka zindagi ko achhe tareeke se jeene ka formula:
Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne ke liye karoge,
to doosron ki gaand mein ungli karne ka waqt hi nahi milega.
27.
Ek Bar Santa Cycle Pe Gaanv (Village) Jaa Raha Tha.
Raste Mein Ek Sunder Si Ladki Ne Santa Se Lift Maangi Santa Ne Usko Cycle Ke Aage Bitha Liya Thodi Door Jane Par Ladki Ne Santa Se Pucha
Ladki: “Maine Suna Hai Ki Punjabi Logo Ka Lund Bahut Bada Hota Hai, Kya Ye Sach Hai?”
Santa Bola: “Oye Kudiye, Is Baat Par Yakeen Kar
Le Kyunki Ye Cycle Ladies Hai“
Ek Bar Santa Cycle Pe Gaanv (Village) Jaa Raha Tha.
Raste Mein Ek Sunder Si Ladki Ne Santa Se Lift Maangi Santa Ne Usko Cycle Ke Aage Bitha Liya Thodi Door Jane Par Ladki Ne Santa Se Pucha
Ladki: “Maine Suna Hai Ki Punjabi Logo Ka Lund Bahut Bada Hota Hai, Kya Ye Sach Hai?”
Santa Bola: “Oye Kudiye, Is Baat Par Yakeen Kar
Le Kyunki Ye Cycle Ladies Hai“
28.
Pappu Ke Dost Golu Ne Us Se Pucha Golu: “Pappu Tera Dimag Bahut Tez Chalta Hai Na, Chal Bata Ki What Is The Similarity Between Schols And Girls?” Pappu Ne Sochte Hue: “Simple Hai Yaar, Both Have Periods“
Pappu Ke Dost Golu Ne Us Se Pucha Golu: “Pappu Tera Dimag Bahut Tez Chalta Hai Na, Chal Bata Ki What Is The Similarity Between Schols And Girls?” Pappu Ne Sochte Hue: “Simple Hai Yaar, Both Have Periods“
29.
Santa Biwi Ke Saath Sex Karne Ka Mood Bana Raha Tha To Light Chali Gayi Santa: “Uff, Aaj Ye Condom Itna Tight Aur Chota Kaisi Ho Gaya Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Arrey Ye Condom Nahi Hai, Bache Ki Doodh Ki Bottle Ka Nipple Hai“
Santa Biwi Ke Saath Sex Karne Ka Mood Bana Raha Tha To Light Chali Gayi Santa: “Uff, Aaj Ye Condom Itna Tight Aur Chota Kaisi Ho Gaya Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Arrey Ye Condom Nahi Hai, Bache Ki Doodh Ki Bottle Ka Nipple Hai“
30.
Santa Suhag Raat Ko Sex Karte Hue Biwi Se Bola: “Teri Choot Badi Loose Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Jaldi Apna Lund Bahar Nikal, Aur Mera Cash, Car, LCD, AC and Jewellery Vapis Kar” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye Bola: “Janu Main To Majak Kar Raha Thha, Mera Lund Hi Patla Aur Chota Hai“
Santa Suhag Raat Ko Sex Karte Hue Biwi Se Bola: “Teri Choot Badi Loose Hai?” Biwi Gusse Se: “Jaldi Apna Lund Bahar Nikal, Aur Mera Cash, Car, LCD, AC and Jewellery Vapis Kar” Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye Bola: “Janu Main To Majak Kar Raha Thha, Mera Lund Hi Patla Aur Chota Hai“
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Daily Hindi Jokes