1.
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.Turning to the man next to him he said, “I forgot my teeth!”The man said, “No pro
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.Turning to the man next to him he said, “I forgot my teeth!”The man said, “No pro
2.
It was a long day at work, and George decided to leave his London office and walk to the pub across the street to get a few drinks.
The rain was pouring as he stepped out, and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
As he crossed the street, he
It was a long day at work, and George decided to leave his London office and walk to the pub across the street to get a few drinks.
The rain was pouring as he stepped out, and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
As he crossed the street, he
3.
Queensland farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favourite bar, drinking beer.Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes.”
Queensland farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favourite bar, drinking beer.Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes.”
4.
Some boy scouts are sitting around a camp fire and begin to tell some jokes.
The first one lets out a chuckle and says, “13”.
The rest of the scouts chuckle and another says, “Heh, 6”.
This gets a good laugh from most of them and a third replies
Some boy scouts are sitting around a camp fire and begin to tell some jokes.
The first one lets out a chuckle and says, “13”.
The rest of the scouts chuckle and another says, “Heh, 6”.
This gets a good laugh from most of them and a third replies
5.
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your paradeSo remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your paradeSo remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her
6.
My uncle Jim is getting older, and he’s having trouble with his memory.
So he went to his doctor, and he started taking these pills to help his memory.
“Hey Uncle Jim,” I said, “what are those memory pills you’re taking called?” “Ahhhh…um….hmmm” he
My uncle Jim is getting older, and he’s having trouble with his memory.
So he went to his doctor, and he started taking these pills to help his memory.
“Hey Uncle Jim,” I said, “what are those memory pills you’re taking called?” “Ahhhh…um….hmmm” he
7.
Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York.About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left.However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New Yor
Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York.About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left.However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New Yor
8.
A monk and a priest are driving down a street in different directions.
Oddly enough, they end up getting into a crash.
They both get out of their cars, infuriated that there had been a wreck.
But since both of them are men of God, they began to t
A monk and a priest are driving down a street in different directions.
Oddly enough, they end up getting into a crash.
They both get out of their cars, infuriated that there had been a wreck.
But since both of them are men of God, they began to t
9.
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over.
The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face.
Stunned, the driver asks, “Why did you do that??”
The tr
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over.
The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face.
Stunned, the driver asks, “Why did you do that??”
The tr
10.
She decided she would just end her life herself and join him in death.Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the
She decided she would just end her life herself and join him in death.Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the
11.
An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery.The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves.He says to the Irishman: “That took great skill and guile to steal those bunsThe owner didn't even see me.”“That's just simple thievery
An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery.The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves.He says to the Irishman: “That took great skill and guile to steal those bunsThe owner didn't even see me.”“That's just simple thievery
12.
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough.He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof.He goes home
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough.He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof.He goes home
13.
As MrSmith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.He called for the three men he trusted most, his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.MrSmith told them, “I'm
As MrSmith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.He called for the three men he trusted most, his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.MrSmith told them, “I'm
14.
A son took his old father to a restaurant for an evening dinner.
Father being very old and weak, while eating, dropped food on his shirt and trousers.
Other diners watched him in disgust while his son was calm.
After he finished eating, his son w
A son took his old father to a restaurant for an evening dinner.
Father being very old and weak, while eating, dropped food on his shirt and trousers.
Other diners watched him in disgust while his son was calm.
After he finished eating, his son w
15.
An elderly man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility.
But each time he tried, it was occupied.
The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any o
An elderly man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility.
But each time he tried, it was occupied.
The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any o
16.
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a “manager”. The questions are not that difficult.1-How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe an
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a “manager”. The questions are not that difficult.1-How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe an
17.
A woman was pregnant with triplets when she got shot and survived…
The children came out fine and the doctor had told theit mother that the bullet would pass through each of them in around 13 years.
The children lived a happy life with their parents
A woman was pregnant with triplets when she got shot and survived…
The children came out fine and the doctor had told theit mother that the bullet would pass through each of them in around 13 years.
The children lived a happy life with their parents
18.
A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-six-year-old blonde woman because her hand signals were confusing.
“First you put your hand up, like you’re turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left,” said the officer.
“I decided
A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-six-year-old blonde woman because her hand signals were confusing.
“First you put your hand up, like you’re turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left,” said the officer.
“I decided
19.
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.
When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to ano
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.
When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to ano
20.
An elderly man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of viagra:The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a double dose.“Why not?” Asked the elderly man.“Because it's not safe.” Replied the doctor.“But I need it really bad.” Said the man.“W
An elderly man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of viagra:The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a double dose.“Why not?” Asked the elderly man.“Because it's not safe.” Replied the doctor.“But I need it really bad.” Said the man.“W
21.
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.
If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady.
He refrained from speaking for tw
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.
If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady.
He refrained from speaking for tw
22.
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t s
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t s
23.
Two college students, Desmond and Kurt, were walking on the pavement when they were approached by a beggar asking for money.
Kurt tries to shoo him away, but Desmond takes out his wallet, pulls out a few bills and hands them to the beggar.
The begga
Two college students, Desmond and Kurt, were walking on the pavement when they were approached by a beggar asking for money.
Kurt tries to shoo him away, but Desmond takes out his wallet, pulls out a few bills and hands them to the beggar.
The begga
24.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I
25.
A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park.“What's that?” says the Texan.“Oh! That's Queens Park,” says the Cabby, “
A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park.“What's that?” says the Texan.“Oh! That's Queens Park,” says the Cabby, “
26.
Woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what?Y
Woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what?Y
27.
The famous professor of mathematics was in town for a conference.Since he had some free time, he was approached to give a seminar for the undergraduate mathematics students at the local college.After covering several blackboards with densely packed comput
The famous professor of mathematics was in town for a conference.Since he had some free time, he was approached to give a seminar for the undergraduate mathematics students at the local college.After covering several blackboards with densely packed comput
28.
After 37 years of marriage Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed.He gave Edith his now ex-wife ju
After 37 years of marriage Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed.He gave Edith his now ex-wife ju
29.
A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks.“I have to be honest with you” the woman says as the guy makes his move.”I`m a call girl”.The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it.He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it.After th
A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks.“I have to be honest with you” the woman says as the guy makes his move.”I`m a call girl”.The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it.He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it.After th
30.
There was a little old lady who was suffering from a degenerative eye condition that had left her nearly blind.She had three sons, and each wanted to prove that he loved her more than the others.Son 1 bought her an expensive Mercedes, with a chauffeur inc
There was a little old lady who was suffering from a degenerative eye condition that had left her nearly blind.She had three sons, and each wanted to prove that he loved her more than the others.Son 1 bought her an expensive Mercedes, with a chauffeur inc
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