😜 Biwi Ki Demand Aur Pati Ka Reaction – Funny Jokes – 04

1.



Ek Baar Santa Shirt Utaar Ke Balcony Mein Khada Tha.
Santa Ke padosi ne ye dekha aur uski tariff karte hue bola.
Padosi: “Wah Santa Ji, Kya Chest Hai?” Santa Khush Hote Hue: “Arrey Ye To Kuch Bhi Nahi, Apni Bhabi Ki Dekhega To Pagal Ho Jayega“

2.



Santa Aur Banta Bethe Baat Kar Rahe Thhe Santa: “Yaar Jab Tu Paida Ho Raha Thha To Tune Sir Pahle Nikala Ya Pair”
Banta: “Maine Pair Pahle Nikale, Aur Tune?”
Santa: “Mene To Bhai Sir Nikala Thha”
Banta: “Kyu?” Santa: “Purane Log Kahte Hai Kisi Ki Phati Mein Tang Nahi Adani Chahiye“

3.



Sunny Leone: “Meri Next Hindi Movie Mein Main Sab Ko Dara Ke Rakh Dungi” Pappu: “Darr To Aapki Pehle Ki Movies Mein Bhi Lagta Tha, Kahi Peechhe Se Mummy Papa Na Aa Jaayen”

4.



Santa Made Lot Of Money In USA.
Banta Asked: “How?” Santa: “I Made A Cream, When Applied On Penis, It Smells Like Banana and Was A Hit.” Banta Also Went To USA and Made 5 Times Money Than Santa.
Santa Asked: “How?” Banta: “I Also Developed A Cream, When Applied On Banana, It Smells Like Penis“

5.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

6.



Santa Galti Se Ladies Toilet Mein Guss Jata Hai Ek Ladies Jo Ander Hoti Hai Chilla Ke Kahti Hai: “Arey Ye Ladies Ke Liye Hai” Santa Apni Zip Khol Ke Kahta Hai: “Ji Ye Bhi Sirf Ladie Ke Liye Hai“

7.



Aajkal ke time mein ladkiyan bewafa kyu hoti hain, aur biwiyan apne mard ko chhod kar doosre mardon ke peeche kyu bhagti hain?
Is cheez par research karke hamare Pujniye Baba Saxidas ji ne ek slogan banaya hai:

"Rozana muth marne se parhez kijiye,
Yaad rakhein ke lund jaandar to mard shaandar."

8.



Teacher: “Bachon Aaj Hum Grammer Padhenge, To Batao Ek Aurat Ek Khidki Se Jhank Rahi Hai, Ye Kya Hai?” Pappu: “Mam, Ye Ek Vachan Hua” Teacher: “Good, Ab Batao Ki – Bahut Si Aurtein Khidkiyon Se Jhank Rahi Hai?” Pappu Kuch Sochkar Bola: “Mam, Ye To Randi Bazar Hua“

9.



Ek Baar Santa Aur Banta Raste Par Ja Rahe The… Santa: “Yaar Main Toh Aaj Mar Gaya, Meri Patni Aur Meri Masook Dono Ek Sath Saamne Se Aa Rahi Hain” Banta: “Oye Banteya Main V Tan Ehi Kehan Wala Si…“

10.



Santa: “Dr.
Sahab I Am Suffering From Loose Motions” Doctor: “Kitni Patli Aati Hai??” Santa: “Samajh Lo Ki Aap Usse Gargle Kar Sakte Ho“

11.



Santa Truck Driver Thha Ek Din Sharab Pee Ke Ghar Aya Aur Apni Biwi Ki Panty Mein Hath Dalkar Pucha Santa: “Ye Rasta Kidhar Jata Hai?“ Biwi Ne Uska Lund Pakadkar Kaha: “Is Se Pucho Isko Pata Hoga, Ye Roj Up Down Karta Hai.“

12.



Santa Ko Bavaseer Ho Gayi, Hakim Ne Kaha Marham Lagwane Roj Aana Padega.
Hakim Ne Usko Chaar Din Marham Lagaya Aur Kaha, Hakim: “Ab Kafi Theek Ho Gayi Hai, Baqi Biwi Se Lagwa Lena” Jab Agle Din Preeto Marham Lagane Lagi To Usne Ek Haath Santa Ke Kandhe Par Rakha, Aur Dusre Se Marham Lagane Lagi To Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa: “Tera Ek Haath Kandhay Par Hai Dusra Kaha Hai?” Preeto Boli: “Us Se Marham Laga Rahi Hoon” Santa Chonk Kar Bola: “Oh, Hakim Ki Bahan Ki Choot, Uske To Dono Haath Mere Kandhe Par Hote The“

13.



Santa Apne Padosi Ke Ghar Mithayi Ka Dibba Lekkar Jata Hai.
Santa: “Le Mithayi Kha, Meri Biwi Ko Call-Center Mein Promotion Mil Gayi Hai” Padosi: “Arrey Wah, To Ab Vo Kya Ban Gayi Hai?” Santa: “Wahan Ki Best Call-Girl“

14.



Sardar Ji Ne Ek Din Apne Bete Ko Muth Marte Dekh To Kuch Dino Baad Uski Shadi Ker Di.
Kuch Din Baad Bete Se Pucha: “Beta Ab To Sab Theek Hai Na?” Bete Ne Gusse Se Kaha: “Kya Ghanta Theek Hai Uska Haath To 5 Minute Mein Hi Thak Jata Hai“

15.



Santa Ek Din Apne Gaanv Se Door Shahar Mein Mela Dekhne Aaya Hua Tha.
Wahaan Uski Cycle Chori Ho Gayi, Bechara Zor-Zor Se Rone Lag Gaya.
Santa: “Main Ghar Kaise Jaunga – Main Ghar Kaise Jaunga” Ek Aadmi Ne Ye Dekha To Us Se Raha Na Gaya Aur Santa Se Bola.
Aadmi: “Bhai Ro Mat Aaj Raat Mere Ghar Ruk Kar Subha Gaanv Laut Jana, Par Ek Chhoti Si Problem Hai Mere Paas Sirf Ek Hi Khaat Hai Tumhe Khaat Ke Niche Sona Padega” Santa Maan Gaya, Raat Ko Aadmi Apni Biwi Ke Sath Daru Peekar Sex Karne Laga Aur Masti Mein Bola Aadmi: “Aaj To Teri Chut Mein Saari Duniya Dikh Rahi Hai” Niche Leta Santa Ye Sab Sun Raha Tha, Ek Dam Se Bola Santa: “Bhai Sahab, Please Meri Cycle Bhi Dekh Lena Kahaan Par Hai“

16.



Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian” Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai” Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon” Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun“

17.



Santa Ko Natak Mein Arjun Ka Role Mila, Jab Natak Shuru Hua To Santa Arjun Ke Roop Mein Aaya, Logo Ne Shor Kiya: “Pagdi Wala Arjun…….Pagdi Wala Arjun” Santa Bola: “Bhosdi Walo, Abhi Do Minute Pehle Lund Wali Dropadi Aayi Thi, Tab Saare So Rahe The Kya?“

18.



Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?” Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“

19.



Santa Apne Dost Se: “Aaj Ghar Jate Hi Biwi Ki Chaddi Utarunga.” Dost: “Aaj Bade Mood Mein Lagte Ho?” Santa : “Ghanta Bhenchod, Bahut Tight Hai Yaar, Subah Galti Se Biwi Ki Pehan Li Thi.”

20.



Teacher Ne Class Mein Santa Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Aisi Konsi Jagha Hai Jise Banaya To Aadmi Ne Hai, Par Phir Bhi Vo Wahan Nahi Ja Sakta?” Santa Kuch Soch Ke: “Madam Ji, Ladies Toilet“

21.



Teacher: Prove That AB/AG + 2MP + 4WD + 9MC = ABC? Pappu: “A Boy Over A Girl + 2 Minute Pain + 4 White Drops + 9 Months Course = A Beautiful Child.

22.



Santa Badi Buri Halat Mein Ghar Aya Sab Ne Pucha: “Kya Hua?” Santa: “Mandi Mein Anaaj Bech Raha Thha Ye Kah Ke Gehoon-Le-Lo” Gharwale: “Fir?” Santa: “Sab Ne Samjha Gay-Hun-Le-Lo, Aur Unhone Meri Mill Ke Li“

23.



Ek Ladki Ke T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha Amul – The Taste Of India.
Use Dekh Kar Santa Bahut Khush Hua, Aur Apni Pent Pe Likhva Liya Kurkure – Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai.

24.



सरदार का प्रमोशन इनस्पेक्टर से DSP हो गया.
जिससे वो बड़ा खुश था।
उसने अपनी ख़ुशी को घर आकर वाइफ को ऐसे अंदाज़ में बताया..
कि वाइफ बेहोश हो गई..?
सरदार बोला : आज से तू DSP के साथ सोएगी…

25.



Santa Ki Shaadi Ke 3 month Baad Hi Beta Ho Gaya.
Santa: “Ye Hamara Bachha 3 month Baad Kaise Ho Gaya? Aur Logo Ka To 9 month Baad Hota Hai?” Biwi: “Aaap Bhi Na..
Ye Batao Aapki Shaadi Ko Kitna Time Hua Hai?” Santa: “3 month” Biwi: “Aur Meri Shaadi Ko?” Santa: “3 month” Biwi: “Aur Hamara Bachcha Kitne Time Baad Hua?” Santa: “3 month Baad” Biwi: “Total Kitne Months Ho Gaye?” Santa Khushi Se: “Oh Shit Yaar, Samay Ka Pata Hi Nhi Chala..
Sorry Janu Mene Tumpar Shak Kiya“

26.



Madam Claas Mein Bachho Ko Pada Rahi Thhi I For Ink J For Jug K For Kite L For Lund Ohh! Sorry Baccho Galti Se Muh Se Nikal Gaya.
Pappu: “Koi Baat Nahi Madam Wapas Muh Mein Le Lijiye“

27.



Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai, Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?” Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“

28.



Santa Banta Ek Sath Sadak Ke Ja Rahe Thhe To Santa Ne Sunder Si Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Kaha: “Wah!! What A Breast” Banta Bola: “Yaar Breast To Yaad Aya Babhi Da Ki Haai Hai?“

29.



Doctor Returns To His Clinic After A Day Off And Asks His Assistant Santa About His Patients.
Santa: “1st Patient Came With Headache.
I Gave Him Saridon.” Doctor: “Good Job.” Santa: “2nd With Running Nose And I Gave Him Coldarin.” Doctor: “Good Job Again!” Santa: “3rd Patient Was A Lady.
She Took-Off Her Clothes On The Bed, Opened Her Legs And Said, “help Me, I Have Not Seen A Man For Last 5 Months”.
Surprised Doctor: “What Did You Do Then?” Santa: “I Put Ciplox Eye Drops In Her Eyes”

30.



Golu Asks Pappu Golu: “What Is Common Between A Girl’s Legs And Amul Butter?” Pappu: “Simple, Both Are Delicious When Spread“