1.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids are able to fit on the bus.After hearing about the predicament, the blind man lets the children get on instead of him.The wife asks
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids are able to fit on the bus.After hearing about the predicament, the blind man lets the children get on instead of him.The wife asks
2.
Four affluent fathers meet up for their yearly golf match with each otherAs fathers tend to do, they all start bragging about their children.The first father brags, “My son is a successful real estate agent! He's so successful, he gave a beautiful house
Four affluent fathers meet up for their yearly golf match with each otherAs fathers tend to do, they all start bragging about their children.The first father brags, “My son is a successful real estate agent! He's so successful, he gave a beautiful house
3.
… when an older man in the crowd was heard saying, “PeanutsPopcornCracker Jack.”Castro didn't break his stride but a few minutes later, a second voice was heard but with the same message, “PeanutsPopcornCracker Jack.”This time the Bearded One seemed momen
… when an older man in the crowd was heard saying, “PeanutsPopcornCracker Jack.”Castro didn't break his stride but a few minutes later, a second voice was heard but with the same message, “PeanutsPopcornCracker Jack.”This time the Bearded One seemed momen
4.
Story: Last BoastA fir tree said boastingly to the bramble bush growing in its shade:“You are useless.Nobody wants you.I am everywhere used for roofs and houses.Men can't do without me.”“You're so right,” said the bramble.“Here's a man coming to you with
Story: Last BoastA fir tree said boastingly to the bramble bush growing in its shade:“You are useless.Nobody wants you.I am everywhere used for roofs and houses.Men can't do without me.”“You're so right,” said the bramble.“Here's a man coming to you with
5.
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinnedI have been with a loose girl.”The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?”‘Yes, Father, it is.”“And who was the girl you were with?”“I can't tell you, FatherI don't want to ruin her reputation.”“Well, T
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinnedI have been with a loose girl.”The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?”‘Yes, Father, it is.”“And who was the girl you were with?”“I can't tell you, FatherI don't want to ruin her reputation.”“Well, T
6.
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, C
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, C
7.
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said angrily, “Maybe I'll just go out and cat
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said angrily, “Maybe I'll just go out and cat
8.
A police officer asks a thief, “Why did you steal this stranger’s watch?”
The thief replies, “I didn’t steal it — he gave it to me!” The policeman asks, “When did he give it to you?”
The thief tells him, “When I showed him the gun.
A police officer asks a thief, “Why did you steal this stranger’s watch?”
The thief replies, “I didn’t steal it — he gave it to me!” The policeman asks, “When did he give it to you?”
The thief tells him, “When I showed him the gun.
9.
1Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?2There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he we
1Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?2There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he we
10.
Wife's Diary:Tonight, I thought Tom was acting weirdWe had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinnerI was shopping with my friends all day long; and I was a little late for our date.Conversation wasn't flowing, so I thought he was upset at the fa
Wife's Diary:Tonight, I thought Tom was acting weirdWe had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinnerI was shopping with my friends all day long; and I was a little late for our date.Conversation wasn't flowing, so I thought he was upset at the fa
11.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.True to his word, he made the first contact:“Delora… Delora…”“Is that you, Darling?”“Yes, I've come back like we agreed.”“That's wonder
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.True to his word, he made the first contact:“Delora… Delora…”“Is that you, Darling?”“Yes, I've come back like we agreed.”“That's wonder
12.
… the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wifeTearfully she explained, “It's the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology.Before he could say m
… the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wifeTearfully she explained, “It's the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology.Before he could say m
13.
A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery,the doc is concerned about the baby's weight,“Is he bottle fed or breast fed? The woman replies, “Breast fed.” The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her fronts.He pinches her nips and suc
A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery,the doc is concerned about the baby's weight,“Is he bottle fed or breast fed? The woman replies, “Breast fed.” The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her fronts.He pinches her nips and suc
14.
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”She asked, “What does that mean?”He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”She asked, “What does that mean?”He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
15.
Reaching the end of a job interview the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,“And what starting salary are you looking for?”The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending
Reaching the end of a job interview the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,“And what starting salary are you looking for?”The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending
16.
There once was a girl who wasn’t feeling very pretty so she went to a genie to make her pretty.
The genie told her that to make her feel pretty, he would make it so that every time someone apologized to her her b*obs would increase by one size.
So t
There once was a girl who wasn’t feeling very pretty so she went to a genie to make her pretty.
The genie told her that to make her feel pretty, he would make it so that every time someone apologized to her her b*obs would increase by one size.
So t
17.
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
18.
A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said,“Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy,“It's not appropriate to say the word ‘pee' in church.So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee' just tell me that you have
A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said,“Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy,“It's not appropriate to say the word ‘pee' in church.So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee' just tell me that you have
19.
The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in RomeThe Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope's private chambers.“What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff.“It's my direct line to the Lord!”The Rabbi is skeptical
The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in RomeThe Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope's private chambers.“What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff.“It's my direct line to the Lord!”The Rabbi is skeptical
20.
Pam and Kate are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Pam pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
“What in the heck is that?” asks Kate.
“A condom”, repli
Pam and Kate are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Pam pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
“What in the heck is that?” asks Kate.
“A condom”, repli
21.
A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him.How bad is it? the doctor asks.I have no idea, the husband says.Well, please test herStand 20 feet away from her and say something.If she doesn't hear you, get closer and say the same thin
A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him.How bad is it? the doctor asks.I have no idea, the husband says.Well, please test herStand 20 feet away from her and say something.If she doesn't hear you, get closer and say the same thin
22.
Come out of the stall with wet hands.
Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, ‘Darn, I almost made it!’
Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.
Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend you’re Erykah Badu.
Write o
Come out of the stall with wet hands.
Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, ‘Darn, I almost made it!’
Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.
Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend you’re Erykah Badu.
Write o
23.
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lbweight loss program.The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round he
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lbweight loss program.The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round he
24.
A travelling salesman was passing through the countryside and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water.
The old farmer’s wife invited him to sit in the shade of the porch with her and got him some cold lemonade.
They sat and talked for a while w
A travelling salesman was passing through the countryside and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water.
The old farmer’s wife invited him to sit in the shade of the porch with her and got him some cold lemonade.
They sat and talked for a while w
25.
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in.
The doctor asked, “Why do you think you have such good health?”
The old-timer said,
“I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up before dayl
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in.
The doctor asked, “Why do you think you have such good health?”
The old-timer said,
“I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up before dayl
26.
A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, “Father, I have a problem.I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing… they keep saying ‘Hi, we're hot… do you want to bang us?'”“That's terrible!” says the priest.“But,
A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, “Father, I have a problem.I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing… they keep saying ‘Hi, we're hot… do you want to bang us?'”“That's terrible!” says the priest.“But,
27.
A customer in a restuarant orders a bowl of soup.However, the customer notices that something is wrong.So he calls the waiter over.“Can you please taste the soup?”“What's wrong with the soup?”“Just taste it.”“Why?”“Just taste it.”“Sir, I–““Just taste it.”
A customer in a restuarant orders a bowl of soup.However, the customer notices that something is wrong.So he calls the waiter over.“Can you please taste the soup?”“What's wrong with the soup?”“Just taste it.”“Why?”“Just taste it.”“Sir, I–““Just taste it.”
28.
1Call when you say you are going to call.2Never lie, about anything.3Showing emotion is good, it does not make you weak, it makes you human.4Girls talk on “Girls Night Out” so don't be surprised if you get in trouble when we get back.5The correct answer t
1Call when you say you are going to call.2Never lie, about anything.3Showing emotion is good, it does not make you weak, it makes you human.4Girls talk on “Girls Night Out” so don't be surprised if you get in trouble when we get back.5The correct answer t
29.
One of them is extremely smart, one is average, and one is extremely stupid.One day, it is the extremely smart one's turn to catch and cook dinner. He goes out and comes back with a bear.The other two are astounded and ask, “How did you catch this bear?”
One of them is extremely smart, one is average, and one is extremely stupid.One day, it is the extremely smart one's turn to catch and cook dinner. He goes out and comes back with a bear.The other two are astounded and ask, “How did you catch this bear?”
30.
His friends to him at coffee: “We adore your family life, you’ve got a great life with your wife and kids.
Tell us the secret of this happiness or we’ll consider you as a diffident”
“Well, i can shortly explain. After our wedding, she started riding
His friends to him at coffee: “We adore your family life, you’ve got a great life with your wife and kids.
Tell us the secret of this happiness or we’ll consider you as a diffident”
“Well, i can shortly explain. After our wedding, she started riding
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