1.
Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength.Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.The boy began lessons with an old J
Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength.Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.The boy began lessons with an old J
2.
Grandpa and his 7-year-old grandson are gardening when to boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”
“I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t,” says Gramps.
“It’s too wiggl
Grandpa and his 7-year-old grandson are gardening when to boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”
“I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t,” says Gramps.
“It’s too wiggl
3.
Two notorious drunks are sitting at the bar.
One is crying.
The other asks what’s wrong. “I’ve puked all over myself again and my wife is gonna kill me.”
The other drunk says “do what I do pal.
Explain to your wife that some other drunk puked
Two notorious drunks are sitting at the bar.
One is crying.
The other asks what’s wrong. “I’ve puked all over myself again and my wife is gonna kill me.”
The other drunk says “do what I do pal.
Explain to your wife that some other drunk puked
4.
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computersHe dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, “Hello?”Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computersHe dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, “Hello?”Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having
5.
He starts dialing numbers on his hand, like a telephone, and talking into his hand.The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.The guy says, “You don't understandI'm very hi-techI had a pho
He starts dialing numbers on his hand, like a telephone, and talking into his hand.The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.The guy says, “You don't understandI'm very hi-techI had a pho
6.
Sam and his wife Rachel were playing golf at the club when she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway.
Sam said, ‘Wow I have never seen you play this well before!’ ‘I took lessons.’ Says Rachel.
A couple of days later on the tennis cour
Sam and his wife Rachel were playing golf at the club when she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway.
Sam said, ‘Wow I have never seen you play this well before!’ ‘I took lessons.’ Says Rachel.
A couple of days later on the tennis cour
7.
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple that drove their car to Wal*Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.The w
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple that drove their car to Wal*Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.The w
8.
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhe
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhe
9.
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other.
The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong.
“Well,” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without t
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other.
The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong.
“Well,” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without t
10.
At an airline ticket counter, all of the ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could.A man at the end of the passenger line was impatient and frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow-moving line.
At an airline ticket counter, all of the ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could.A man at the end of the passenger line was impatient and frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow-moving line.
11.
A man in a bar saw a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he commented, “You look terribleWhat's the problem?”“My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.”“Gee, that's tough,” he replied.“Then in July,” the friend cont
A man in a bar saw a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he commented, “You look terribleWhat's the problem?”“My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.”“Gee, that's tough,” he replied.“Then in July,” the friend cont
12.
Three old women die and go to heaven.
When they reach the gates of heaven St. Peter tells them that they have to answer a question to enter.
Then he asks them which one wants to go first.
The oldest of the three say I will go first and set an exa
Three old women die and go to heaven.
When they reach the gates of heaven St. Peter tells them that they have to answer a question to enter.
Then he asks them which one wants to go first.
The oldest of the three say I will go first and set an exa
13.
Three guys were sitting in a biker bar.A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table.He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the fa
Three guys were sitting in a biker bar.A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table.He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the fa
14.
A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood.Every Friday The Catholics are driven crazy because, while they're eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks.So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him to Catholicism.Finally, after many threats
A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood.Every Friday The Catholics are driven crazy because, while they're eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks.So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him to Catholicism.Finally, after many threats
15.
Unlike English, Spanish and many other languages have masculine and feminine nouns, which determine whether you say “el” for masculine or “la” for feminine.So the committee divided into two groups to each come up with the best four arguments for computers
Unlike English, Spanish and many other languages have masculine and feminine nouns, which determine whether you say “el” for masculine or “la” for feminine.So the committee divided into two groups to each come up with the best four arguments for computers
16.
A farmer is sitting in the neighbourhood bar getting soused.A man comes in and asks the farmer,“Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?”Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.Man: So what happened that is so horrible?Farmer:
A farmer is sitting in the neighbourhood bar getting soused.A man comes in and asks the farmer,“Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?”Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.Man: So what happened that is so horrible?Farmer:
17.
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in.
The doctor asked, “Why do you think you have such good health?”
The old-timer said,
“I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up before dayl
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in.
The doctor asked, “Why do you think you have such good health?”
The old-timer said,
“I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up before dayl
18.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”Bob's wife goes out a
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”Bob's wife goes out a
19.
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right away.“Oh honey, I'm so happy,” he said“Who took you to the hospital?”“Yo
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right away.“Oh honey, I'm so happy,” he said“Who took you to the hospital?”“Yo
20.
A 91-year-old lady comes to the dentist’s office in North Dakota.
She claimed it was an emergency, so the young doctor working in the clinic prepared himself for the worst.
The old lady walks into the dentist’s office with her cane in one hand, stru
A 91-year-old lady comes to the dentist’s office in North Dakota.
She claimed it was an emergency, so the young doctor working in the clinic prepared himself for the worst.
The old lady walks into the dentist’s office with her cane in one hand, stru
21.
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight.
He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.
“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a s
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight.
He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.
“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a s
22.
I took the day off work and decided to go out golfing.
I was on the second hole when I noticed a frog sitting next to the green. I didn’t think anything of it and was about to shoot when the frog says, “Ribbit. 9- Iron”.
I looked around and didn’t s
I took the day off work and decided to go out golfing.
I was on the second hole when I noticed a frog sitting next to the green. I didn’t think anything of it and was about to shoot when the frog says, “Ribbit. 9- Iron”.
I looked around and didn’t s
23.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.When the time of the practical exam
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.When the time of the practical exam
24.
When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him.“WelcomeYou are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully.”Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, “Who really shot Kennedy?”God replies, “Lee Harvey Oswald
When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him.“WelcomeYou are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully.”Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, “Who really shot Kennedy?”God replies, “Lee Harvey Oswald
25.
Jim and Edna are both mental patients.One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air.Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out.Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes
Jim and Edna are both mental patients.One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air.Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out.Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes
26.
After going through the line at a crowded mall cafeteria,The three rambunctious teenage boys found they were forced to share a table with a kindly looking old lady.One of the lads decided to have a bit of fun at the woman's expense and, nudging one of his
After going through the line at a crowded mall cafeteria,The three rambunctious teenage boys found they were forced to share a table with a kindly looking old lady.One of the lads decided to have a bit of fun at the woman's expense and, nudging one of his
27.
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror.However, this does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.Then one day, fresh out of the shower, she
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror.However, this does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.Then one day, fresh out of the shower, she
28.
After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church's board following the close of the service.The first man to arrive and greet the minister was a total stranger.“You misunderstood my announcementThis is a meeting of t
After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church's board following the close of the service.The first man to arrive and greet the minister was a total stranger.“You misunderstood my announcementThis is a meeting of t
29.
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.The girl approached the boy and said, “Hey Billy, want to play house?”He said, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”Sally replied, “I want you to communicate your feelings.”“Communicate my feelings?” sa
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.The girl approached the boy and said, “Hey Billy, want to play house?”He said, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”Sally replied, “I want you to communicate your feelings.”“Communicate my feelings?” sa
30.
Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course.
They didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two ho
Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course.
They didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two ho
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