1.
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls.
To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the ball with on onion.
Several weeks later the patient returned for a checkup.
“How’s your s*x life?” the doc
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls.
To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the ball with on onion.
Several weeks later the patient returned for a checkup.
“How’s your s*x life?” the doc
2.
Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them.“I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to long life,” the reporter asked.The three old men agreed and the reporter asked the first old man hi
Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them.“I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to long life,” the reporter asked.The three old men agreed and the reporter asked the first old man hi
3.
A bus driver was plying his regular driving route when an old lady got on the bus and sat behind the driver,
For every ten minutes into the ride, She kept asking the driver a question.
The first ten minutes into the ride, the old woman piped up and
A bus driver was plying his regular driving route when an old lady got on the bus and sat behind the driver,
For every ten minutes into the ride, She kept asking the driver a question.
The first ten minutes into the ride, the old woman piped up and
4.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.”The professor says “I'll be an elementary school teacherWhat can be so hard abo
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.”The professor says “I'll be an elementary school teacherWhat can be so hard abo
5.
…something this girl knew all too well.One day a 12-year-old girl was walking down the street, when a car pulled up beside her and the driver lowered a window.“I'll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car,” said the driver.“No way! Get lost!” r
…something this girl knew all too well.One day a 12-year-old girl was walking down the street, when a car pulled up beside her and the driver lowered a window.“I'll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car,” said the driver.“No way! Get lost!” r
6.
A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks.“One of the benefits of this profession,” he explained, “is that we have built-in weather predictions.”“What do you mean by that?” asked one inquisitive visitor.“When the cows
A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks.“One of the benefits of this profession,” he explained, “is that we have built-in weather predictions.”“What do you mean by that?” asked one inquisitive visitor.“When the cows
7.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”The first guy answers, “That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”Th
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”The first guy answers, “That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”Th
8.
After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes.As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her, pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice “Hi Sweetheart, its Rajaram I'm on
After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes.As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her, pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice “Hi Sweetheart, its Rajaram I'm on
9.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were each given the same red rubber ball and told to find the volume.The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were each given the same red rubber ball and told to find the volume.The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in
10.
Ed and his wife Norma faithfully go to the state fair every year, and every year Ed would plead, “Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.”Frugal Norma would always sternly reply, “I know Ed, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is
Ed and his wife Norma faithfully go to the state fair every year, and every year Ed would plead, “Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.”Frugal Norma would always sternly reply, “I know Ed, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is
11.
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, “My son is so successful, he’s VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. “
The second says, ” That’s nothing, my son is CEO of his comp
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, “My son is so successful, he’s VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. “
The second says, ” That’s nothing, my son is CEO of his comp
12.
Once there were three men, Charlie, Mason and Buck, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.
As they stood at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your
Once there were three men, Charlie, Mason and Buck, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.
As they stood at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your
13.
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north.The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.The wife decided to take the
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north.The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.The wife decided to take the
14.
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lbweight loss program.The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round he
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lbweight loss program.The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round he
15.
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers.There weren't as many violators this day as usual.The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH.He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as d
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers.There weren't as many violators this day as usual.The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH.He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as d
16.
If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if
If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if
17.
Two men are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes of golf, but there two women golfers in front of them who are taking quite a long time to play each hole.
The first guy says, “Why don’t you go over and ask if we can play through?” The second guy get
Two men are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes of golf, but there two women golfers in front of them who are taking quite a long time to play each hole.
The first guy says, “Why don’t you go over and ask if we can play through?” The second guy get
18.
A young man was getting ready to graduate collegeFor many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.As Graduation Day approached, the young man awai
A young man was getting ready to graduate collegeFor many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.As Graduation Day approached, the young man awai
19.
An arab and his wife are at mid point on a long trek across the desert when suddenly their camel sits down and refuses to get up.The arab beats it with his stick, pulls with all his strength on the reins, swears at it, and invokes Allah's help. All to no
An arab and his wife are at mid point on a long trek across the desert when suddenly their camel sits down and refuses to get up.The arab beats it with his stick, pulls with all his strength on the reins, swears at it, and invokes Allah's help. All to no
20.
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun cont
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun cont
21.
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother.“He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother.“He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to
22.
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.
” Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it.
“Well,” said Mr. Johnson, “I was looki
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.
” Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it.
“Well,” said Mr. Johnson, “I was looki
23.
Two old farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbours but didn’t like each other much.
In 1999, there was a period of -30 degrees centigrade cold and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it.
So they bet a bottle of vodka who can sit out on the windo
Two old farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbours but didn’t like each other much.
In 1999, there was a period of -30 degrees centigrade cold and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it.
So they bet a bottle of vodka who can sit out on the windo
24.
A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautifulShe left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistakeHe thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.So he knocked on the door to cla
A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautifulShe left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistakeHe thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.So he knocked on the door to cla
25.
While showing off his new apartment to friends one night, a drunk man led the way to his bedroom where there was a huge clock on the wall with a big brass gong.“What's that brass gong for?” asked one of the guests.“Why, that's the talking clock,” the man
While showing off his new apartment to friends one night, a drunk man led the way to his bedroom where there was a huge clock on the wall with a big brass gong.“What's that brass gong for?” asked one of the guests.“Why, that's the talking clock,” the man
26.
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
“I’m sick of all these conferences.
I always say the same things over and over!”
The driver agrees: “You’re rig
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
“I’m sick of all these conferences.
I always say the same things over and over!”
The driver agrees: “You’re rig
27.
The friendly usher at the country church greeted the elderly woman visitor at the door and helped her up the steps.“Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.“The front row, please,” she answered.“You really don't want to do that,” the usher said“Th
The friendly usher at the country church greeted the elderly woman visitor at the door and helped her up the steps.“Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.“The front row, please,” she answered.“You really don't want to do that,” the usher said“Th
28.
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your paradeSo remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your paradeSo remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her
29.
At work, Tom and Jack were chatting:Tom: Jack, I've been attending evening classes for 8 months now and I have a test next month.Jack: oh!Tom: For example, do you know who is Thomas Edison?Jack: NoTom: He's the inventor of the light bulb; if you take even
At work, Tom and Jack were chatting:Tom: Jack, I've been attending evening classes for 8 months now and I have a test next month.Jack: oh!Tom: For example, do you know who is Thomas Edison?Jack: NoTom: He's the inventor of the light bulb; if you take even
30.
The priest says, “Oh heavens, I forgot my lures back on land” and steps out of the boat, walks across the water back to the land, and grabs his lures before walking back to the boat.The atheist was astounded, but before he could make sense of the situatio
The priest says, “Oh heavens, I forgot my lures back on land” and steps out of the boat, walks across the water back to the land, and grabs his lures before walking back to the boat.The atheist was astounded, but before he could make sense of the situatio
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