1.
… and decide to take a shortcut through the cemetery.Right in the middle of the cemetery they are startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.Trembling with fear, they find an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of
… and decide to take a shortcut through the cemetery.Right in the middle of the cemetery they are startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.Trembling with fear, they find an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of
2.
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.One woman said, “I call my husband the dentistNobody can drill like he does.”The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.One woman said, “I call my husband the dentistNobody can drill like he does.”The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his
3.
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flow
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flow
4.
A young man buys a chicken farm out in the country.He doesn't know much about chickens, So he decides to go consult with some of the locals.He finds an old farmer and asks if he might be able to give him some pointers.The old farmer tells him “sure, meet
A young man buys a chicken farm out in the country.He doesn't know much about chickens, So he decides to go consult with some of the locals.He finds an old farmer and asks if he might be able to give him some pointers.The old farmer tells him “sure, meet
5.
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner.This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and th
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner.This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and th
6.
Once while travelling, Tenali Rama found himself in the company of a group of soldiers.
They were all veterans of war and soon they got to talking about their experiences on the battlefield.
One old soldier told of the time he had single-handedly sl
Once while travelling, Tenali Rama found himself in the company of a group of soldiers.
They were all veterans of war and soon they got to talking about their experiences on the battlefield.
One old soldier told of the time he had single-handedly sl
7.
A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room.
She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks.
As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle.
He pi
A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room.
She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks.
As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle.
He pi
8.
A businessman is hurrying home on the motorway after a hard days work when he is stopped by a policeman.“Do you know you were driving 30 mph over the limit?” asks the policeman.“Eh, actually no, officer, it's a big car and it just sort of coasts along… yo
A businessman is hurrying home on the motorway after a hard days work when he is stopped by a policeman.“Do you know you were driving 30 mph over the limit?” asks the policeman.“Eh, actually no, officer, it's a big car and it just sort of coasts along… yo
9.
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
“You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded.
“Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manage
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
“You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded.
“Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manage
10.
One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.“Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!”“Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied.“She gave it to you? I k
One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.“Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!”“Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied.“She gave it to you? I k
11.
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor.
The nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, “Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!” The man replied, “How about that, I work for the Do
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor.
The nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, “Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!” The man replied, “How about that, I work for the Do
12.
While showing off his new apartment to friends one night, a drunk man led the way to his bedroom where there was a huge clock on the wall with a big brass gong.“What's that brass gong for?” asked one of the guests.“Why, that's the talking clock,” the man
While showing off his new apartment to friends one night, a drunk man led the way to his bedroom where there was a huge clock on the wall with a big brass gong.“What's that brass gong for?” asked one of the guests.“Why, that's the talking clock,” the man
13.
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it.Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting an
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it.Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting an
14.
Two hikers were walking through central Pennsylvania when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in the ground.
They figured it must be the opening for a vertical air shaft from an old abandoned coal mine.
Curious as to the depth of the hole, the first h
Two hikers were walking through central Pennsylvania when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in the ground.
They figured it must be the opening for a vertical air shaft from an old abandoned coal mine.
Curious as to the depth of the hole, the first h
15.
I was playing a big game of hide and seek when I went camping with a big group.We were devided in teams of two and we had to stay hidden in a big forrest for as long as possible.I was put in a team with my little brother.After searching for a good spot we
I was playing a big game of hide and seek when I went camping with a big group.We were devided in teams of two and we had to stay hidden in a big forrest for as long as possible.I was put in a team with my little brother.After searching for a good spot we
16.
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for adviceThe doctor said she should run ten miles a day for thirty days.This, he promised, would help her lose the 20 pounds she's been trying to get rid of.The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thi
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for adviceThe doctor said she should run ten miles a day for thirty days.This, he promised, would help her lose the 20 pounds she's been trying to get rid of.The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thi
17.
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said angrily, “Maybe I'll just go out and cat
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said angrily, “Maybe I'll just go out and cat
18.
One is a member of the Gestapo. One is an Imperial Japanese officer. And one is a Fascist Italian Commander.They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they are going to do when they get interrogated.The German says, “My superior German s
One is a member of the Gestapo. One is an Imperial Japanese officer. And one is a Fascist Italian Commander.They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they are going to do when they get interrogated.The German says, “My superior German s
19.
An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months.Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says ‘who was the p
An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months.Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says ‘who was the p
20.
Magic WordsAs a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scr
Magic WordsAs a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scr
21.
A little old lady checked into a motel on her 70th birthday, but she was a bit lonely.
She thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in the phone books for escorts and sensual massages.”
She looked through the phone book, found a full-
A little old lady checked into a motel on her 70th birthday, but she was a bit lonely.
She thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in the phone books for escorts and sensual massages.”
She looked through the phone book, found a full-
22.
A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, “Father, I have a problem.I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing… they keep saying ‘Hi, we're hot… do you want to bang us?'”“That's terrible!” says the priest.“But,
A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, “Father, I have a problem.I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing… they keep saying ‘Hi, we're hot… do you want to bang us?'”“That's terrible!” says the priest.“But,
23.
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I'll leave the key under the matFix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.“Oh, by the way d
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I'll leave the key under the matFix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.“Oh, by the way d
24.
A Blonde is very upset at people stereotyping blondes, so she organises a blonde convention.
Over 50,000 blondes attend.
The leader stands on a stage and says, “Us blondes have always been misrepresented by the media and we have always been stereoty
A Blonde is very upset at people stereotyping blondes, so she organises a blonde convention.
Over 50,000 blondes attend.
The leader stands on a stage and says, “Us blondes have always been misrepresented by the media and we have always been stereoty
25.
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks,
“Where have you been?” The boy says, “On top of blueberry hill.”
Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says,
“Where have you been?
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks,
“Where have you been?” The boy says, “On top of blueberry hill.”
Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says,
“Where have you been?
26.
A farmer was taking three of his donkeys for sale to the market.
On the way, he saw a river and decided to have a dip.
Since he had only two ropes to tie the donkeys to a tree, he looked around wondering how to tie the third one.
He saw a sage an
A farmer was taking three of his donkeys for sale to the market.
On the way, he saw a river and decided to have a dip.
Since he had only two ropes to tie the donkeys to a tree, he looked around wondering how to tie the third one.
He saw a sage an
27.
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings, which happened to be on display.“I have good news and bad news,” the gallery owner replied“The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings, which happened to be on display.“I have good news and bad news,” the gallery owner replied“The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if
28.
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, “What you gonna do with that? There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here.”He says, “I won it and I'm a gonna keep it.”His brother came over to visit several days later.
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, “What you gonna do with that? There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here.”He says, “I won it and I'm a gonna keep it.”His brother came over to visit several days later.
29.
A man lives in a highrise on the 15th floor.
Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor.
But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up.
The only exc
A man lives in a highrise on the 15th floor.
Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor.
But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up.
The only exc
30.
Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken.When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the manager, “You've got to have a room somewhere, or just a bed, I don't care where.”“Well, I do have a
Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken.When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the manager, “You've got to have a room somewhere, or just a bed, I don't care where.”“Well, I do have a
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