1.
Mr. and Mrs Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely.
One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”
“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her elde
Mr. and Mrs Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely.
One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”
“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her elde
2.
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.“My what big eyes you have, MrWolf,” says Little Red Riding Hood.The surprised wolf jumps up and runs awayFurther down the road Little Red Riding Ho
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.“My what big eyes you have, MrWolf,” says Little Red Riding Hood.The surprised wolf jumps up and runs awayFurther down the road Little Red Riding Ho
3.
Year after year Bubba’s wife pleaded with him to take her fishing but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it.
She, finally, wore him down, he consented, and early one morning they took off to the lake.
They had not been there very long when the
Year after year Bubba’s wife pleaded with him to take her fishing but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it.
She, finally, wore him down, he consented, and early one morning they took off to the lake.
They had not been there very long when the
4.
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t
5.
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her:“If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.”Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her:“If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.”Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-
6.
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.He decides to give them a test.He gives each woman a present of $5000 and waits to see what they do with the money.The first does a total makeover.She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her ha
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.He decides to give them a test.He gives each woman a present of $5000 and waits to see what they do with the money.The first does a total makeover.She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her ha
7.
He calls home‘Dad,' he says, ‘you won't believe what modern education is developingThey actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'‘That's amazing!' his Dad says‘How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'‘Just send
He calls home‘Dad,' he says, ‘you won't believe what modern education is developingThey actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'‘That's amazing!' his Dad says‘How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'‘Just send
8.
A man lay sprawled across three seats in the cinema.When the usherette came by and noticed this, she whispered to the old man “Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat”.The old man didn't budgeThe usherette became more impatient.She said “Sir, if you d
A man lay sprawled across three seats in the cinema.When the usherette came by and noticed this, she whispered to the old man “Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat”.The old man didn't budgeThe usherette became more impatient.She said “Sir, if you d
9.
At the end of humanity, there were three gentlemen left on the face of the Earth.
The Creator (or whatever divine entity you’d like to place here) descends from the heavens to congratulate the last three survivors.
“You’ve made it to the end my frie
At the end of humanity, there were three gentlemen left on the face of the Earth.
The Creator (or whatever divine entity you’d like to place here) descends from the heavens to congratulate the last three survivors.
“You’ve made it to the end my frie
10.
A policeman was interrogating Paddy, Murphy and Mick who were training to become detectivesTo test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the Paddy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.“This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”Padd
A policeman was interrogating Paddy, Murphy and Mick who were training to become detectivesTo test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the Paddy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.“This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”Padd
11.
Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills.Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full.He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.Ma says,“Why don't you go ask the young
Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills.Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full.He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.Ma says,“Why don't you go ask the young
12.
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.Nobody can believe that any new baby can wei
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.Nobody can believe that any new baby can wei
13.
Two hikers were walking through central Pennsylvania when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in the ground.
They figured it must be the opening for a vertical air shaft from an old abandoned coal mine.
Curious as to the depth of the hole, the first h
Two hikers were walking through central Pennsylvania when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in the ground.
They figured it must be the opening for a vertical air shaft from an old abandoned coal mine.
Curious as to the depth of the hole, the first h
14.
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night.“My grandfather lived to be 96.”“Ninety-six? What finally got him?”“Liquor and women.”“Well, that just goes to show ya,” snickered the one guy, “both will get you in the end.”“Well actually, n
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night.“My grandfather lived to be 96.”“Ninety-six? What finally got him?”“Liquor and women.”“Well, that just goes to show ya,” snickered the one guy, “both will get you in the end.”“Well actually, n
15.
Four married guys went fishing.
After an hour or so, the following conversation took place:
First guy:
“You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife I will paint every room in the house n
Four married guys went fishing.
After an hour or so, the following conversation took place:
First guy:
“You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife I will paint every room in the house n
16.
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down.
You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests.
So what els
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down.
You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests.
So what els
17.
A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over.The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”The man replies, “Yes, I amI'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you t
A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over.The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”The man replies, “Yes, I amI'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you t
18.
Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavatedThe friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.It is through this entrance that they find a sec
Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavatedThe friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.It is through this entrance that they find a sec
19.
Nasreddin Hodja was boasting about the power of his faith.“If your faith is so strong, then pray for that mountain to come to you,” said a skeptic, pointing to a mountain in the distance.Nasreddin Hodja prayed fervently, but the mountain did not move.He p
Nasreddin Hodja was boasting about the power of his faith.“If your faith is so strong, then pray for that mountain to come to you,” said a skeptic, pointing to a mountain in the distance.Nasreddin Hodja prayed fervently, but the mountain did not move.He p
20.
When I first met my wife we went on our first date and I was pretty nervous.
I wanted to take her somewhere different to break the monotonous “first date” vibe of coffee or drinks so we decided to go to a local apiary to help transplant some bees to a
When I first met my wife we went on our first date and I was pretty nervous.
I wanted to take her somewhere different to break the monotonous “first date” vibe of coffee or drinks so we decided to go to a local apiary to help transplant some bees to a
21.
A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.However, he was delayed, so the pries
A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.However, he was delayed, so the pries
22.
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents' parents? And their parents?Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?”Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve a
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents' parents? And their parents?Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?”Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve a
23.
Whispering firmly to the dying man, the priest said,“Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order.Still the dying man said nothing.The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denou
Whispering firmly to the dying man, the priest said,“Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order.Still the dying man said nothing.The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denou
24.
… the prosecutor called his first witness, an elderly grandma, to the stand.He walked up to her and asked, “MrsWilliams, do you know who I am?”She answered, “Of course I know who you are, MrRawley. I've known you since you were a little boy, and honestly
… the prosecutor called his first witness, an elderly grandma, to the stand.He walked up to her and asked, “MrsWilliams, do you know who I am?”She answered, “Of course I know who you are, MrRawley. I've known you since you were a little boy, and honestly
25.
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said,
“Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donk
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said,
“Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donk
26.
At an airline ticket counter, all of the ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could.A man at the end of the passenger line was impatient and frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow-moving line.
At an airline ticket counter, all of the ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could.A man at the end of the passenger line was impatient and frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow-moving line.
27.
Note: We love both dogs and cats, this is just in jest!
1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
2. Cats look silly on a leash.
3. When you come home from work, your dog will be
Note: We love both dogs and cats, this is just in jest!
1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
2. Cats look silly on a leash.
3. When you come home from work, your dog will be
28.
… and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.“You've done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, “but for a million euros you've only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. If you get the next question wrong, y
… and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.“You've done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, “but for a million euros you've only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. If you get the next question wrong, y
29.
Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course.
They didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two ho
Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course.
They didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two ho
30.
A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks.“I have to be honest with you” the woman says as the guy makes his move.”I`m a call girl”.The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it.He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it.After th
A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks.“I have to be honest with you” the woman says as the guy makes his move.”I`m a call girl”.The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it.He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it.After th
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