Best Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter 03

1.

Funny Jokes

who after examining him says, тАЬYou have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.тАЭ
So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks, тАЬDo I have to take them every day?тАЭ
тАЬNo,тАЭ replies the doctor, тАЬtake one on Monday, skip Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip Thursday and go on like that.тАЭ
Two weeks later the doctor is walking down the street, and he sees the patientтАЩs wife.
тАЬHello Mrs Murphy,тАЭ he says, тАЬhowтАЩs your husband?тАЭ
тАЬOh he died of a heart attack,тАЭ says Mrs Murphy.
тАЬIтАЩm very sorry to hear that,тАЭ says the doctor, тАЬI thought if he took those tablets he would be all right.тАЭ
тАЬOh the tablets were fine,тАЭ says Mrs Murphy, тАЬIt was all the bloody skipping that killed him!тАЭ
Two men were sitting in a pub drinking
A old Italian man goes to church for confession



2.

Funny Jokes

A couple walked into a cheap looking restaurant.
As they were about to sit down they noticed there were crumbs on the seat, after cleaning up the seat and wiping down the table they sat down.
A waitress came over asking them what they wanted, тАЬIтАЩll just take a coffeeтАЭ said the man, тАЬme tooтАЭ said the lady тАЬand make sure the cup is clean.тАЭ
The waitress returned with their drinks тАЬOKтАЭ she said placing down their cups тАЬnow, which one of you wanted the clean cupтАЭ.
A Amish girl and her mother
A little boy and his grandfather



3.

Funny Jokes

One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, тАЬActs 2:38: тАШRepent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'тАЭ
The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police.
While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, тАЬGee mate, you gave up pretty easily.
How come you gave up so quickly?тАЭ
The robber said, тАЬShe said she had an axe and two 38тАЩs!тАЭ
A radical feminist is getting on a bus
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church



4.

Funny Jokes

A man lives in a high rise on the 15th floor.
Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor.
But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up.
The only exception is when itтАЩs raining. Why?
The manтАЩs a midget, and canтАЩt reach the buttons.
When itтАЩs raining, he has his umbrella with him, so he can reach the 15 button with it.
Two men were hunting in the woods
A police officer asks a thief



5.

Funny Jokes

A son challenged his boastful father to a game of golf.
The son was determined to beat his father in golf for the first time.
On the very first swing, the father got a hole in one.
тАЬOkay, nice shot dad,тАЭ said the son, thinking quickly on his feet.
тАЬNow I will take my practice shot and then we will start.тАЭ
Johnny runs to his dad and says
A family sat down for dinner



6.

Funny Jokes

An elderly couple, a priest, and a doctor walk into a bar
As they are sitting down and drinking, they eventually start talking about conception and the question of.
тАЬWhen does life beginтАЭ.
The priest said in the Bible states that life begins at conception Jeremiah 1:5
тАЬBefore I formed you in the womb I knew youтАЭ. This is GodтАЩs word so it is true.
The doctor looked at the priest funny and said, тАЬYou cannot be serious, I have been in practice for years and life begins at birth when you breathe your first breath of air.тАЭ
The priest and doctor continue to argue their point and as others began to shift their attention to their conversation, the old man spoke.
тАЬYou are both wrong, my wife and I fully agree that life begins when your kids finally move out of the houseтАЭ.
Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar
A old woman was arrested for shoplifting



7.

Funny Jokes

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesnтАЩt serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesnтАЩt serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesnтАЩt serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, тАЬHow in the world do you know I am a blonde?тАЭ
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, тАЬThatтАЩs not a TV itтАЩs a microwave.тАЭ
A father asks his 10-year-old son
A man and his wife were in divorce court



8.

Funny Jokes

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park.
He was a widower and she was a widow.
They had known one another for a number of years.
Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two were at the same table, across from one another.
As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her,
тАЬWill you marry me?тАЭ
After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of тАШcareful consideration,тАЩ she answered.
тАЬYes. Yes, I will.тАЭ
The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. тАЬDid she say тАШyesтАЩ or did she say тАШnoтАЩ?тАЭ
He couldnтАЩt remember.
Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained to her that he didnтАЩt remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.
As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her,
тАЬWhen I asked if you would marry me, did you say тАШYesтАЩ or did you say тАШNoтАЩ?тАЭ
He was delighted to hear her say,
тАЬWhy, I said, тАШYes, yes I willтАЩ and I meant it with all my heart.тАЭ
Then she continued,
тАЬAnd I am so glad that you called because I couldnтАЩt remember who had asked me.тАЭ
He gets into the taxi
A teacher was testing the children



9.

Funny Jokes

A cop pulls a car over for going 20 mph on the highway.
The driver is a little old lady, and there are two old ladies in the back seat.
The cop asks, тАЬWhy were you driving just 20 miles per hour?тАЭ
The old lady responds, тАЬI was just going the posted speed limit!тАЭ and points to a sign up ahead.
The cop smiles and says, тАЬThatтАЩs not the speed limit sign, thatтАЩs the sign for this highway Route 20!тАЭ
One of the old ladies in the back gasps out, тАЬWe tried to tell you, Eugenia!тАЭ
The cop takes another look at the old women in the back and sees that they are wide-eyed and disheveled.
One of them is tightly gripping the door handle.
тАЬWhatтАЩs the matter?тАЭ the cop asks.
She responds, тАЬWe just came off of Interstate 190.тАЭ
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet
Two very old men were having a conversation



10.

Funny Jokes

George has an operation on his neck, so he has to be force-fed through his ass.
At mealtime, the nurse rolls in a big feeding machine, attaches one end of a tube to the machine, and shoves the other end far up GeorgeтАЩs ass.
After a few days of the force-feeding, George says,
тАЬHey, nurse, have you got another one of those machines here at the hospital?тАЭ
She says, тАЬYes, of course. Why?тАЭ
George says, тАЬI want you to have dinner with me tomorrow.тАЭ
There was a World wide survey
A young doctor had moved out to a small community



11.

Funny Jokes

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together.
They made a decision, one day to make it,..
тАЬyesterday once moreтАЭ.
They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young.
The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning,
dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise,
waited there for his sweetheart to come.
But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.
Grandpa went home in such anger.
He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow.
He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned:
тАЬWhy didnтАЩt you come to our date?тАЭ
Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly
тАЬMom didnтАЩt allow me to goтАжтАЭ
An elderly, faithful man died
A group of racist Americans



12.

Funny Jokes

A man is in court for murder and the judge says, тАЬYou are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.тАЭ
A voice at the back of the court says, тАЬYou bastard.тАЭ
The judge continues, тАЬYou are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer.тАЭ
Again the voice at the back of the court says, тАЬYou bastard.тАЭ
The judge says, тАЬWe cannot have any more of these outbursts from you, what is the problem?тАЭ
The man at the back of the court says, тАЬFifteen years I lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didnтАЩt have one!тАЭ
A secretary goes to the company stockroom
A man was working on a preacherтАЩs car



13.

Funny Jokes

I have such a dilemma.
There is a guy at my gym with no legs.
And I feel really awkward around him every time I see him.
So I tried to make a connection.
I said, тАШHey Dan. Working on arms again today?тАЩ
A squirrel
You Know YouтАЩre Addicted



14.

Funny Jokes

A man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East.
An Arab approaches the husband, saying, тАЬIтАЩll give you 100 camels for your woman.тАЭ
After a long silence, the husband says, тАЬSheтАЩs not for sale.тАЭ
The indignant wife says, тАЬWhat took you so long to answer?тАЭ
The husband replied, тАЬI was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.тАЭ
Wife sent a message to her husband
A teacher was helping one of her kids



15.

Funny Jokes

A man from Texas is vacationing in Mexico, and spends his day roaming around, taking in the sights.
In the evening he goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
As he sits there sipping his tequila, he notices that the couple at the table next to him are being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.
When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.
The waiter replied, тАЬAh, Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bullтАЩs testicles from the bull fight this morning a real delicacy!тАЭ
The Texan said, тАЬWell, what the heck, bring me an order.тАЭ
The waiter replied, тАЬI am so sorry, Senor there is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning if you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.тАЭ
The next morning, the man returned, placed his order, and that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, тАЬThese are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.тАЭ
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, тАЬSi, Senor sometimes the bull wins.тАЭ
Shortly after British Airways 293 flight
A leper goes to watch a baseball game



16.

Funny Jokes

Four freshman partied too hard during a music festival and unable to make it back for their final exam the next day
As they drove back to the college, they tried to think of a good excuse.
Finally, they agreed to the same story: a tire was blown in the middle of nowhere at mid night so they were stuck.
They each sent the professor an email asking to retake the exam and gave the excuse.
The understanding professor said itтАЩs fine and ask them to take it the next day, but for fairness they would have to take a different exam.
The next day they came to the exam room, and as per usual procedure, each obtained a copy of the exam and sat in a corner.
The classroom was big and empty, the professor sat and watched them, so they were nervous.
Fortunately, the questions on the first page are fairly easy.
Even though these questions only worth 10/100 points, it calmed them down a bit.
So they quickly finished the first page at the same time and turned to the second page.
There was a single question on it: (90/100) Which tire was blown?
Three men attend a job interview
Ole and Sven are invited to a costume party



17.

Funny Jokes

A woman walks into the City Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids .
тАЬWOW,тАЭ the social worker exclaims, тАЬAre they ALL yours?тАЭ
тАЬYeah, they are all mine,тАЭ the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, тАЬSit down Terry.тАЭ All the children rush to find seats.
тАЬWell,тАЭ says the social worker, тАЬthen you must be here to sign up
IтАЩll need all your childrenтАЩs names.тАЭ
тАЬтАЩThis oneтАЩs my oldest тАУ he is Terry.тАЭ
тАЬOK, and whoтАЩs next?тАЭ
тАЬWell, this one, he is Terry, also.тАЭ The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues.
One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri
тАЬAll right,тАЭ says the caseworker
тАЬIтАЩm seeing a pattern here
Are they ALL named Terri?тАЭ
Their Mother replied, тАЬWell, yes тАУ it makes it easier.
When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, тАШTerry!тАЩ AnтАЭ when itтАЩs time for dinner, I just yell тАШTerry!тАЩ anтАЩ they all come running.тАЩ
AnтАЩ if I need to stop the kid whoтАЩs running into the street, I just yell тАШTerry and all of them stop
ItтАЩs the smartest idea I ever had, naminтАЩ them all Terry.тАЩ
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, тАЬBut what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch
тАЬI call them by their surnames!тАЭ
A climber fell off a cliff
It was no ordinary watch



18.

Funny Jokes

A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.
She pulls out a large syringe to give him an anesthesia shot.
тАЬNo way, no needles! I hate needles!тАЭ the man exclaims so she starts to hook up the nitro us oxide tank, and the man says,
тАЬI canтАЩt do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me!тАЭ
The dentist then asks the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill.
тАЬNo,тАЭ he says, тАЬIтАЩm fine with pills.тАЭ
So the lady dentist gives him two little blue pills and he swallows them.
тАЬWhat are those?тАЭ he asks. тАЬtablet,тАЭ she calmly replies.
тАЬIтАЩll be damned,тАЭ said the man, тАЬI didnтАЩt know tablet works as a pain killer.тАЭ
тАЬIt doesnтАЩt,тАЭ says the wise lady,
тАЬBut itтАЩll give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.тАЭ
Mr. Evans discovered that her daughter
Two lawyers are having a drink



19.

Funny Jokes

Two roosters fought for supremacy in the farmyard.
Finally one was vanquished and he went and hid himself in a corner of the hen-house.
The victor flew up to the roof of the barn and begin to crow,
тАЬIтАЩve won, IтАЩve won!тАЭ
An eagle swooped down and carried him away and the rooster that had been defeated suddenly found himself unchallenged master of the farmyard.
Moral Of The Story: The enemy is often defeated by his own pride.
A guy driving a Yugo
The cruise ship was sinking



20.

Funny Jokes

A group of devils were trying to enter the soul of a holy man who lived near Cairo; they had already tempted him with Nubian women, Egyptian food, Libyan treasure, but nothing had worked.
One day, Satan passed and saw his servantsтАЩ efforts.
YouтАЩre hopeless тАУ said Satan
You havenтАЩt used the only technique no one can resist; IтАЩll teach you.
He went over to the holy man and whispered in his ear:
Remember the priest who studied under you? HeтАЩs just been made Bishop of Alexandria.
Immediately, the holy man was filled with rage, and blasphemed against GodтАЩs injustice.
The next time, use this temptation тАУ said Satan to his subjects.
тАЬMen can resist almost everything, but they are always jealous of the victory of a fellow man.тАЭ
A older doctor stopped her
A man had just settled into his seat



21.

Funny Jokes

Two Women riding in an elevator in a very lavish and posh building, when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume.
She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, тАЬRomanceтАЭ by Ralph Lauren, at $180.
Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, тАЬChanel No. 5, at $220.тАЭ
When they got to the third floor, the old woman had reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator.
Before she leaves, she looks at both beautiful women in the eye,
Farts, and then saysтАж Heinz Baked beans тАж $1.50.
A bear walks into a bar
The car speed off the highway



22.

Funny Jokes

A man went to the doctorтАЩs.
The doctor came in and said, тАЬWell, IтАЩve got some good news and some bad news.тАЭ
The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor.
The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out front and a young couple was killed and you can have whichever brain youтАЩd like.
The manтАЩs brain costs $100,000.00 and the womanтАЩs brain costs тАЬ30,000.00.тАЭ
The patient could not help but ask, тАЬWhy such a large difference between the male and the female brain?тАЭ
The doctor replied, тАЬThe female brain is used.тАЭ
George goes to the doctor
A man walk into a supermarket



23.

Funny Jokes

Mr. Johnson boarded a plane to New York City.
He was about to sit down in the aisle seat he had booked when he saw a blonde woman sitting in his seat.
тАЬWh-what are you doing?!тАЭ sputtered Mr. Johnson.
тАЬI specifically booked this seat!
Why arenтАЩt you sitting in your seat?!тАЭ
The blonde woman replied, тАЬIтАЩm blonde, IтАЩm smart, and IтАЩm sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.тАЭ
Angrily, Mr. Johnson snatched the blondeтАЩs ticket out of her hand. It was for the middle seat.
тАЬYour ticket says youтАЩre supposed to be sitting in this middle seat!тАЭ he shouted.
тАЬI specifically booked this aisle seat because IтАЩm six-foot-five and I hate the cramped spaces of airplane seats! Meanwhile, you donтАЩt seem to be any taller than five-foot-one. You should be able to handle the middle seat just fine!тАЭ
He showed the blonde his ticket to prove that he had, indeed, booked the aisle seat.
Again, the blonde woman replied, тАЬIтАЩm blonde, IтАЩm smart, and IтАЩm sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.тАЭ
тАЬYouтАЩd better listen to that guy,тАЭ said the woman sitting in the window seat.
тАЬI once dated a guy who was six-foot-one, four inches shorter than that guy, and he always sat in the aisle seat because he hated the cramped spaces.тАЭ
For the third time, the blonde woman replied, тАЬIтАЩm blonde, IтАЩm smart, and IтАЩm sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.тАЭ
Mr. Johnson was now furious.
He told a nearby flight attendant about the blonde in his seat.
The flight attendant whispered something in the blondeтАЩs ear, and the blonde sheepishly moved into the middle seat.
A relieved Mr. Johnson sat in the aisle seat.
As soon as the plane had landed, Mr. Johnson asked the flight attendant, тАЬWhat did you tell that woman?тАЭ
тАЬI told her that the aisle seat wasnтАЩt going to New York City.тАЭ
A blonde walks into a bank
George raises his beer mug



24.

Funny Jokes

A 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me:
тАЬDad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?тАЭ
тАЬErm, I donтАЩt knowтАЭ I replied
тАЬMickey MouseтАЭ he replied laughing.
тАЬDad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs.тАЭ
тАЬDonald DuckтАЭ I replied.
тАЬNo, all ducks you idiot.тАЭ
A elderly couple is having their 75th anniversary
She asks the doctor about her baby



25.

Funny Jokes

A man was married to a woman whose commands to her husband were as sharp as the bite of a barracuda.
It wasnтАЩt so much that he was a coward, or too timid to talk back, but you know how it is letтАЩs keep peace in the family.
One day the wife invited a group from the local womenтАЩs club to her house for tea and discussions.
To make sure that her husband did not interrupt the goings-on, she ordered him into the closet and sternly told him to stay there until the last lady had left.
During their bridge game, the ladies of the club spoke of the authority they wielded over respective husbands.
Not to be outdone, the hostess informed the others that not only had she ordered her husband into the closet, but she could order him to come out, at will.
тАЬIтАЩll prove it,тАЭ she boasted.
тАЬBob!тАЭ she commanded, тАЬcome out of that closet!тАЭ No response.
тАЬBob!тАЭ she called in a louder voice, тАЬcome out of that closet this instant!тАЭ Nothing.
тАЬBob!тАЭ she screamed at the top of her lungs, тАЬI order you to get out of that closet this instant!тАЭ
тАЬNo, I wonтАЩt!тАЭ came her husbandтАЩs muffled cry from inside the closet.
тАЬIтАЩll show you whoтАЩs boss in this house!тАЭ
Jim first time leaving Europe
Harry and Sam were going for a stroll



26.

Funny Jokes

Late one night, paramedics rushed Mr. Steinberg to the hospital, suspecting a massive heart attack.
The medical team worked tirelessly through the night and well into the morning, finally stabilizing him and moving him to the Intensive Care Unit for ongoing treatment.
After a few days of recovery, Mr. SteinbergтАЩs doctor visited him with great news.
тАЬSol, IтАЩm thrilled to tell you that your heart is in remarkable shapeтАФjust like when you were 15! YouтАЩre being discharged tomorrow, and you can resume any physical activity you enjoy without worrying about your heart.тАЭ
Excited to return home, Mr. Steinberg eagerly shared the news with his wife that evening.
тАЬDoris, you wonтАЩt believe this! IтАЩm perfectly healthy. No heart problems whatsoever! Tonight, my darling, weтАЩre going to have the most passionate, wild lovemaking youтАЩve ever experienced!тАЭ
Doris paused thoughtfully before responding. тАЬIтАЩm not so sure, Sol. IтАЩve heard about the risks of intense physical activity with heart conditions. If something happened to you, IтАЩd feel awful. MaybeтАж if your doctor wrote me a note confirming itтАЩs safe, I might consider it.тАЭ
Disheartened but determined, Mr. Steinberg visited his doctor the following day.
Dr. Katz cheerfully agreed. тАЬOf course, Sol! IтАЩll write it up for you right now.тАЭ
He scribbled on his prescription pad: тАШMr. Sol Steinberg, my patient, is in excellent health with the heart function of a 15-year-old. He may engage in passionate, adventurous intimacy whenever he desires. Signed, Dr. Aaron Katz.тАЩ
As he prepared the note, the doctor asked, тАЬBy the way, Sol, whatтАЩs your wifeтАЩs name?тАЭ
After a brief hesitation, Mr. Steinberg replied sheepishly, тАЬUh, Doctor, could you just address it, тАШTo Whom It May ConcernтАЩ?тАЭ
Two men are out just fishing quietly
Two old men were sitting on a park bench



27.

Funny Jokes

Once there was a young man whose friends made fun of him for not being good at anything.
As time passes by, the young man loses self esteem and spends more and more nights crying in bed.
But suddenly a geenie appears and grants him one wish.
The man has the perfect wish right away; and tells the geenie that he wished to be able to walk on water.
The next morning, he wants to try his new ability and visits the local swimming pool.
And indeed, it works, the man is mind blown. HeтАЩs so happy and thankful to finally have a real ability.
His friends wonтАЩt no longer make fun of him.
But then, one of his friends swims by and spots him there standing on the water surface.
He bursts out laughing and shouts: -Look at him, swimming he canтАЩt either!
Two drunks are talking in a bar
A chemist comes back from his lunch break



28.

Funny Jokes

A guy was in an elevator one day and noticed an attractive woman running to make it before the door closed.
He held the door for her to get in and then politely asked her тАЬwhat floor?тАЭ тАЬ
3rd floorтАЭ she replied, тАЬI come here once a month to donate blood and they pay me $50тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs a coincidenceтАЭ said the guy because I come here once a month myself, donate semen and they pay me $200тАЭ.
Just then the elevator door opened and the woman stepped out.
The next month the guy was in the same elevator and noticed the same woman running to make it in.
He held the door and as she stepped in he said тАЬI remember you, 3rd floor right?тАЭ
With her mouth completely full she looked at him and said тАЬmph, mph, fif floor.тАЭ
A bodybuilder takes off his shirt
John goes to a doctor



29.

Funny Jokes

The nervous young bride became irritated by her husbandтАЩs lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely.
тАЬI demand proper manners in bed,тАЭ she declared, тАЬjust as I do at the dinner table.тАЭ
Amused by his wifeтАЩs formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets.
тАЬIs that better?тАЭ he asked, with a hint of a smile.тАЭ
тАЬYes,тАЭ replied the girl, тАЬmuch better.тАЭ
тАЬVery good, darling,тАЭ the husband whispered.
тАЬNow would you be so kind as to please pass the privates.тАЭ
A husband and his wife sitting in a bar
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon



30.

Funny Jokes

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other,
тАЬAre you a little girl or a little boy?тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt know,тАЭ replied the other baby giggling.
тАЬWhat do you mean, you donтАЩt know?тАЭ said the first baby.
тАЬI mean I donтАЩt know how to tell the difference,тАЭ was the reply.
тАЬWell, I do,тАЭ said the first baby chuckling, тАЬIтАЩll climb into your crib and find out.тАЭ
He carefully maneuvered himself into the other babyтАЩs crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets.
After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face.
тАЬYouтАЩre a little girl, and IтАЩm a little boy,тАЭ he said proudly.
тАЬYouтАЩre ever so clever,тАЭ cooed the baby girl, тАЬbut how can you tell?тАЭ
тАЬItтАЩs quite easy really,тАЭ replied the baby boy,
тАЬYouтАЩve got pink socks and IтАЩve got blue ones.тАЭ
SHAME ON YOU, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???
Baby Love, Cup Of Tea & Dad
A man comes home with his little daughter



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