1.
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.
The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.
But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet h*le he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal.
The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on they blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin.
After feeling it for a few moments, he announced “Bear.”
Then he felt the bullet h*le and declared, “Shot with a 308 rifle.” He was right.
They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk.
He took a bit longer this time and then said, “Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle.
He was right again.
Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks.
Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep.
The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner.
He said to his wife, “I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it.
Where did I get this black-eye?”
His wife angrily replied, “I gave it to you got into bed and put your hand down my underwear.
Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, “Skunk, killed with an axe.”
Examination At School
He sadly packed his belongings into boxes
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.
The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.
But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet h*le he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal.
The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on they blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin.
After feeling it for a few moments, he announced “Bear.”
Then he felt the bullet h*le and declared, “Shot with a 308 rifle.” He was right.
They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk.
He took a bit longer this time and then said, “Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle.
He was right again.
Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks.
Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep.
The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner.
He said to his wife, “I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it.
Where did I get this black-eye?”
His wife angrily replied, “I gave it to you got into bed and put your hand down my underwear.
Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, “Skunk, killed with an axe.”
Examination At School
He sadly packed his belongings into boxes
2.
![Funny Jokes]()
Anne was on her deathbed breathing her last.
“Anne”, said Anne’s husband Jim.
“Please, please,tell me, is there anything I can do for you?”
“Well” croaked Anne, “There is something. After I die, it would mean so much to me if you would marry my best friend Sandra.”
“You have nothing to worry about Anne” said Jim taking her hand,
“I’ve been thinking about that for a while now already.”
A terrible motorcycle accident
A lady was walking down the street
Anne was on her deathbed breathing her last.
“Anne”, said Anne’s husband Jim.
“Please, please,tell me, is there anything I can do for you?”
“Well” croaked Anne, “There is something. After I die, it would mean so much to me if you would marry my best friend Sandra.”
“You have nothing to worry about Anne” said Jim taking her hand,
“I’ve been thinking about that for a while now already.”
A terrible motorcycle accident
A lady was walking down the street
3.
![Funny Jokes]()
A girl is sitting on the couch with her grandpa and studying the wrinkles on his old face.
She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles.
She touches her own face and looks more puzzled.
Finally the girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?”
“He sure did honey, a long time ago,” replies her grandpa.
“Well, did God make me?” asks the girl.
“Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago,” answers her grandpa.
“Boy,” says the little girl, “He’s sure doing a lot better job these days isn’t He?”
They walked down to their old school
A couple were having problems remembering things
A girl is sitting on the couch with her grandpa and studying the wrinkles on his old face.
She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles.
She touches her own face and looks more puzzled.
Finally the girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?”
“He sure did honey, a long time ago,” replies her grandpa.
“Well, did God make me?” asks the girl.
“Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago,” answers her grandpa.
“Boy,” says the little girl, “He’s sure doing a lot better job these days isn’t He?”
They walked down to their old school
A couple were having problems remembering things
4.
![Funny Jokes]()
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room’s only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.
Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.
The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper
Three women die together
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room’s only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.
Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.
The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper
Three women die together
5.
![Funny Jokes]()
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what’s worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why.
The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations.
The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late.
He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one Ever.
The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late.
Johnny says, “I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school.
I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home.
If I didn’t clean it and freeze it, my mom would’ve been angry That’s why I’m so late”.
The teacher promptly takes him to the principal’s office and explains the story to the principal.
The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day.
He says, “I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me.
I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me.
He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs
He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear.
The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me
What do you think of that, Johnny?”
Johnny replies, “Oh yeah, that’s my dog Sparky
That’s his third bear this week.”
A little turtle
A beautiful parrot
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what’s worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why.
The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations.
The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late.
He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one Ever.
The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late.
Johnny says, “I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school.
I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home.
If I didn’t clean it and freeze it, my mom would’ve been angry That’s why I’m so late”.
The teacher promptly takes him to the principal’s office and explains the story to the principal.
The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day.
He says, “I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me.
I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me.
He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs
He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear.
The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me
What do you think of that, Johnny?”
Johnny replies, “Oh yeah, that’s my dog Sparky
That’s his third bear this week.”
A little turtle
A beautiful parrot
6.
![Funny Jokes]()
They were reaching a stalemate.
One day, an American came up with a plan that would win them the war.
The private explained his plan to his trench mates, and they figured, “Why not? It’s not like we have any better ideas.”
The next day, an American soldier called out, “Hans?!”
A German popped up and shouted back, “Ja?!”
Boom, the German was shot dead.
The next day the Americans shouted again, “Hans?!”
“Ja!?”
Shot dead.
This process continued over the next couple of days.
The Germans were losing large numbers and were now finally catching on.
The Germans had an emergency meeting.
They thought they could come back from the heavy losses using the same tactics as the Americans.
Thus, a German asked, “What is a popular American name?” “John!” replied another.
The next day, the Germans decided to execute their plan.
A German shouted, “John?!”
An American called back, “Is that you Hans?!”
A man goes to the doctor and tells
A guy is at the pearly gates
They were reaching a stalemate.
One day, an American came up with a plan that would win them the war.
The private explained his plan to his trench mates, and they figured, “Why not? It’s not like we have any better ideas.”
The next day, an American soldier called out, “Hans?!”
A German popped up and shouted back, “Ja?!”
Boom, the German was shot dead.
The next day the Americans shouted again, “Hans?!”
“Ja!?”
Shot dead.
This process continued over the next couple of days.
The Germans were losing large numbers and were now finally catching on.
The Germans had an emergency meeting.
They thought they could come back from the heavy losses using the same tactics as the Americans.
Thus, a German asked, “What is a popular American name?” “John!” replied another.
The next day, the Germans decided to execute their plan.
A German shouted, “John?!”
An American called back, “Is that you Hans?!”
A man goes to the doctor and tells
A guy is at the pearly gates
7.
![Funny Jokes]()
A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey, I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends.
We’ll be gone for a week.
This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box.
We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.
Oh! Please pack my new blue silk shorts.
“The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.
The following week end he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?
He says, “Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike, but why didn’t you pack my new blue silk shorts like I asked you to do?”
You’ll love this… The wife replies, “I did, they’re in your tackle box.”
A elderly couple was celebrating
A man and his wife were having some problems
A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey, I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends.
We’ll be gone for a week.
This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box.
We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.
Oh! Please pack my new blue silk shorts.
“The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.
The following week end he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?
He says, “Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike, but why didn’t you pack my new blue silk shorts like I asked you to do?”
You’ll love this… The wife replies, “I did, they’re in your tackle box.”
A elderly couple was celebrating
A man and his wife were having some problems
8.
![Funny Jokes]()
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; wouldn’t you rather I draw fresh pints for you one at a time?”
The fellow replies: “Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is now in America and the other, in Australia.
When we all left home, we promised we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The fellow becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the regulars notice and fall silent, speculating about what might have happened to one of the absent brothers.
When the fellow goes back to the bar for a second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”
The fellow looks confused for a moment and then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs and says: “Oh, no, everyone’s fine I’ve just given up beer for Lent.”
The base commander
A policeman was testing three Dumb brothers
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; wouldn’t you rather I draw fresh pints for you one at a time?”
The fellow replies: “Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is now in America and the other, in Australia.
When we all left home, we promised we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The fellow becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the regulars notice and fall silent, speculating about what might have happened to one of the absent brothers.
When the fellow goes back to the bar for a second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”
The fellow looks confused for a moment and then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs and says: “Oh, no, everyone’s fine I’ve just given up beer for Lent.”
The base commander
A policeman was testing three Dumb brothers
9.
![Funny Jokes]()
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a bread stick in his right ear.
He says, “Doctor, what is wrong with me?”
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”
He rubs it and a Genie emerges
A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a bread stick in his right ear.
He says, “Doctor, what is wrong with me?”
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”
He rubs it and a Genie emerges
A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident
10.
![Funny Jokes]()
Once there was a business executive who was sunken in debt and could see no way out.
Creditors were closing in on him suppliers were demanding payment.
He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from insolvency.
Suddenly an old man appeared before him.
“I can see that something is worrying you,” he said.
After listening to the executive’s woes, the old man said: “I believe I can help you.”
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying,
“Take this money meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time.”
Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.
The business executive saw in his hand a check for $100,000, signed by Andrew Carnegie, one of the richest men in the world at that time!
“I can erase my money problems in an instant!” he realized
But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
With revived hope, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment.
He closed several big sales within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
Exactly after one year, the executive returned to the park with the uncashed check of $ 100,000
At the same time, the old man appeared there but just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
“I’m so glad I caught him !” she cried.
He is always escaping from the rest home and telling people he’s Andrew Carnegie.
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned.
All year long he’d been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had a check of $100,000 behind him.
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn’t the money real or imagined, that had returned his life around.
It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.
A young naval student
Moishe the Carpenter
Once there was a business executive who was sunken in debt and could see no way out.
Creditors were closing in on him suppliers were demanding payment.
He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from insolvency.
Suddenly an old man appeared before him.
“I can see that something is worrying you,” he said.
After listening to the executive’s woes, the old man said: “I believe I can help you.”
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying,
“Take this money meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time.”
Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.
The business executive saw in his hand a check for $100,000, signed by Andrew Carnegie, one of the richest men in the world at that time!
“I can erase my money problems in an instant!” he realized
But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
With revived hope, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment.
He closed several big sales within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
Exactly after one year, the executive returned to the park with the uncashed check of $ 100,000
At the same time, the old man appeared there but just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
“I’m so glad I caught him !” she cried.
He is always escaping from the rest home and telling people he’s Andrew Carnegie.
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned.
All year long he’d been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had a check of $100,000 behind him.
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn’t the money real or imagined, that had returned his life around.
It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.
A young naval student
Moishe the Carpenter
11.
![Funny Jokes]()
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment.
He asks his father for help.
“Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?”
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars.
Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then come back and tell me what you’ve learned.”
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother.
“Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?”
“Don’t tell your father, but, yes, I would.”
He then goes to his sister’s room.
“Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?”
She replies, “Omigod! Definitely!”
The kid goes back to his father.
“Dad, I think I’ve figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts.”
A boy takes his girlfriend home
A old man his annual checkup
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment.
He asks his father for help.
“Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?”
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars.
Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then come back and tell me what you’ve learned.”
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother.
“Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?”
“Don’t tell your father, but, yes, I would.”
He then goes to his sister’s room.
“Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?”
She replies, “Omigod! Definitely!”
The kid goes back to his father.
“Dad, I think I’ve figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts.”
A boy takes his girlfriend home
A old man his annual checkup
12.
![Funny Jokes]()
One day, a man was dragged to the cinema by his wife who wanted to watch a romantic comedy.
Half an hour into the film, the man felt a nudge in his elbow.
“What an outrage,” his wife murmured to him.
“The person sitting in front of us is sleeping!” the woman said, clearly offended.
Her husband was fairly annoyed.
He replied: “You woke me up to tell me that?”
A Amish boy and his father were in a mall
A man dive in a nearby lake
One day, a man was dragged to the cinema by his wife who wanted to watch a romantic comedy.
Half an hour into the film, the man felt a nudge in his elbow.
“What an outrage,” his wife murmured to him.
“The person sitting in front of us is sleeping!” the woman said, clearly offended.
Her husband was fairly annoyed.
He replied: “You woke me up to tell me that?”
A Amish boy and his father were in a mall
A man dive in a nearby lake
13.
![Funny Jokes]()
An old hunter was on his way back to the village holding a dead goose he caught.
He met a scammer from another village on the way.
The scammer decided to try his skills on the hunter.
The scammer claimed that the goose was his goose that laid one golden egg every day and now hunter must compensate him for his loss.
To the scammer surprise, hunter apologized without disputing the ridiculous claim.
But said he would like a judge to determine the amount he owes the scammer.
They both agreed to take the matter to the village chief for a fair decision.
Scammer thought he had nothing to lose and took him to his village.
Scammer presented his claim to the chief.
Then hunter made the scammer swore in front of the chief that the goose had been giving him golden eggs and how long it had been.
The scammer repeated the claim and said it had been over a year.
The old man then claimed that he was a very wealthy person from another village and he had been hunting for this goose for over a year and he just caught it.
The goose had been stealing one golden egg a day from his vault.
He then asked the judge to seize all the scammer assets.
A lost dog strays into a jungle
A farmer comes home to find his sheepdog
An old hunter was on his way back to the village holding a dead goose he caught.
He met a scammer from another village on the way.
The scammer decided to try his skills on the hunter.
The scammer claimed that the goose was his goose that laid one golden egg every day and now hunter must compensate him for his loss.
To the scammer surprise, hunter apologized without disputing the ridiculous claim.
But said he would like a judge to determine the amount he owes the scammer.
They both agreed to take the matter to the village chief for a fair decision.
Scammer thought he had nothing to lose and took him to his village.
Scammer presented his claim to the chief.
Then hunter made the scammer swore in front of the chief that the goose had been giving him golden eggs and how long it had been.
The scammer repeated the claim and said it had been over a year.
The old man then claimed that he was a very wealthy person from another village and he had been hunting for this goose for over a year and he just caught it.
The goose had been stealing one golden egg a day from his vault.
He then asked the judge to seize all the scammer assets.
A lost dog strays into a jungle
A farmer comes home to find his sheepdog
14.
![Funny Jokes]()
A kid asks his father “Dad whats politics?”
“Politics? Well, consider our home. I am the wage earner, so let’s call me Capitalism.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her Government.
We take care of you and your needs, so we’ll call you the People. We’ll call the maid the Working Class, and your baby brother the Future. Do you understand so far?”
“I’m not sure, Dad, I’ll have to think about it.”
Late that night, the boy’s sleep was disturbed by the crying of his baby brother.
He got up and fond that the baby had soiled its diaper.
He went to his parents’ room and found his mother fast asleep, and then discovered that is father was boinking the maid so vigorously that they didn’t hear his knocks on the door. He returned to his bed and went to sleep.
Next morning he reported to his father.
“Dad I now think I understand what politics is.”
“Good my boy. Explain it to me in your own words.”
“Well Capitalism is lovemaking the Working Class and the Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.”
I went to a Dynamo show the other day
A Prisoner is digging a tunnel out of prison
A kid asks his father “Dad whats politics?”
“Politics? Well, consider our home. I am the wage earner, so let’s call me Capitalism.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her Government.
We take care of you and your needs, so we’ll call you the People. We’ll call the maid the Working Class, and your baby brother the Future. Do you understand so far?”
“I’m not sure, Dad, I’ll have to think about it.”
Late that night, the boy’s sleep was disturbed by the crying of his baby brother.
He got up and fond that the baby had soiled its diaper.
He went to his parents’ room and found his mother fast asleep, and then discovered that is father was boinking the maid so vigorously that they didn’t hear his knocks on the door. He returned to his bed and went to sleep.
Next morning he reported to his father.
“Dad I now think I understand what politics is.”
“Good my boy. Explain it to me in your own words.”
“Well Capitalism is lovemaking the Working Class and the Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.”
I went to a Dynamo show the other day
A Prisoner is digging a tunnel out of prison
15.
![Funny Jokes]()
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a bared beach.
As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had melons bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why.
She told her son, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”
The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger “units” than his dad.
His mother replied, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.
“Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again.
He promptly told his mother,
“Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.
One evening a husband and wife
A woman goes out shopping with her husband
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a bared beach.
As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had melons bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why.
She told her son, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”
The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger “units” than his dad.
His mother replied, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.
“Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again.
He promptly told his mother,
“Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.
One evening a husband and wife
A woman goes out shopping with her husband
16.
![Funny Jokes]()
While driving it off the lot she decides to take it on the highway and really open things up.
She hits the speed limit of 70MPH and continues to accelerate 75MPH… 80MPH and out of nowhere a siren and the flashing lights of a patrol car come into view of her rear-view mirror.
Thinking her new car could easily outrun the police, she speeds up further until she’s going well over 120MPH but the cop is still in pursuit.
Realizing how stupid she is being, she slows down and pulls over.
The cop pulls behind her, gets out and storms over to the car.
The woman is so distraught and apologizes profusely and explains that she had just bought the car and made the dumbest mistake of her life.
Feeling pity, and it being at the end of his shift, the cop says that if the woman can make him laugh, he’ll let her go without reprimand.
Thinking for a moment, she responds: “Well, Sir, about a week ago, my husband left me for a Sheriff and I thought you were trying to bring him back!”
The burnt light
Rat & Piano
While driving it off the lot she decides to take it on the highway and really open things up.
She hits the speed limit of 70MPH and continues to accelerate 75MPH… 80MPH and out of nowhere a siren and the flashing lights of a patrol car come into view of her rear-view mirror.
Thinking her new car could easily outrun the police, she speeds up further until she’s going well over 120MPH but the cop is still in pursuit.
Realizing how stupid she is being, she slows down and pulls over.
The cop pulls behind her, gets out and storms over to the car.
The woman is so distraught and apologizes profusely and explains that she had just bought the car and made the dumbest mistake of her life.
Feeling pity, and it being at the end of his shift, the cop says that if the woman can make him laugh, he’ll let her go without reprimand.
Thinking for a moment, she responds: “Well, Sir, about a week ago, my husband left me for a Sheriff and I thought you were trying to bring him back!”
The burnt light
Rat & Piano
17.
![Funny Jokes]()
A man went fishing one day.
He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth.
Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free.
But then he felt sorry for the snake.
He looked around the boat, but he had no food.
All he had was a bottle of bourbon.
So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots.
The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds.
He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat.
With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!
A young girl went to her family doctor
A huge guy marries a tiny girl
A man went fishing one day.
He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth.
Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free.
But then he felt sorry for the snake.
He looked around the boat, but he had no food.
All he had was a bottle of bourbon.
So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots.
The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds.
He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat.
With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!
A young girl went to her family doctor
A huge guy marries a tiny girl
18.
![Funny Jokes]()
After a wonderful night of lovemaking,
the young guy rolled over and was looking around,
when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance.
Naturally, the guy began to worry.
“Is that your husband?” he inquired nervously.
“No, silly,” she replied, snuggling up to him.
“Your boyfriend then?” he asked.
“No, not at all,” she said, nibbling away at his ear.
“Well, who is he then?” demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, she answered, “That’s me before the surgery.”
Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom
A elderly couple Ray and Bessie
After a wonderful night of lovemaking,
the young guy rolled over and was looking around,
when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance.
Naturally, the guy began to worry.
“Is that your husband?” he inquired nervously.
“No, silly,” she replied, snuggling up to him.
“Your boyfriend then?” he asked.
“No, not at all,” she said, nibbling away at his ear.
“Well, who is he then?” demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, she answered, “That’s me before the surgery.”
Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom
A elderly couple Ray and Bessie
19.
![Funny Jokes]()
A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher.
She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
“Davy, what noise does a cow make?”
“It goes moo.”
“Alice, what noise does a cat make?”
“It goes meow.”
“Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?”
“It goes baaa.”
“Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?”
“Errr.., it goes.. click!”
The boss joined a group of his workers
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor
A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher.
She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
“Davy, what noise does a cow make?”
“It goes moo.”
“Alice, what noise does a cat make?”
“It goes meow.”
“Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?”
“It goes baaa.”
“Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?”
“Errr.., it goes.. click!”
The boss joined a group of his workers
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor
20.
![Funny Jokes]()
A man’s car stalled on a country road one morning.
When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him.
“Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow.
Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer.
The amazed man told the farmer his story.
“Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer.
“Yes, yes,” the man replied.
“Oh! I wouldn’t listen to Bessie,” said the farmer.
“She doesn’t know a thing about cars.”
A guy was lost in the Sahara Desert
A man spitting and cussing on a corner
A man’s car stalled on a country road one morning.
When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him.
“Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow.
Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer.
The amazed man told the farmer his story.
“Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer.
“Yes, yes,” the man replied.
“Oh! I wouldn’t listen to Bessie,” said the farmer.
“She doesn’t know a thing about cars.”
A guy was lost in the Sahara Desert
A man spitting and cussing on a corner
21.
![Funny Jokes]()
There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park.
He was a widower and she a widow.
They had known one another for a number of years.
Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two were at the same table, across from one another.
As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”
After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered.
“Yes. Yes, I will.”
The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?”
He couldn’t remember.
Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.
As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her,
“When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”
He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.”
Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”
A city boy driving through passes a chicken farm
A couple were Christmas shopping
There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park.
He was a widower and she a widow.
They had known one another for a number of years.
Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two were at the same table, across from one another.
As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”
After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered.
“Yes. Yes, I will.”
The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?”
He couldn’t remember.
Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.
As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her,
“When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”
He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.”
Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”
A city boy driving through passes a chicken farm
A couple were Christmas shopping
22.
![Funny Jokes]()
When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her,
“but in just a week or two my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.
A shepherd used to take his herd of sheep
A kindergarten teacher is having her birthday
When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her,
“but in just a week or two my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.
A shepherd used to take his herd of sheep
A kindergarten teacher is having her birthday
23.
![Funny Jokes]()
An ugly old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise.
He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.
He yells out “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
Boy yells back “Roll of chicken wire.”
Old man says “What you gonna do with that?”
Boy says “Gonna catch some chickens.”
Old man yells “You damn fool, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!”
Boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man’s surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.
Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.
Old man yells out “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
Boy yells back “Roll of duck tape.”
Old man says “What you gonna do with that?”
Boy says back “Gonna catch me some ducks.”
Old man yells back, “You damn fool, you can’t catch ducks with duck tape!”
Boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man’s amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.
Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.
Old man says “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
Boy says “It’s a private part willow.”
Old man says “Wait up … I’ll get my hat.”
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment
A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic
An ugly old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise.
He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.
He yells out “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
Boy yells back “Roll of chicken wire.”
Old man says “What you gonna do with that?”
Boy says “Gonna catch some chickens.”
Old man yells “You damn fool, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!”
Boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man’s surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.
Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.
Old man yells out “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
Boy yells back “Roll of duck tape.”
Old man says “What you gonna do with that?”
Boy says back “Gonna catch me some ducks.”
Old man yells back, “You damn fool, you can’t catch ducks with duck tape!”
Boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man’s amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.
Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.
Old man says “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
Boy says “It’s a private part willow.”
Old man says “Wait up … I’ll get my hat.”
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment
A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic
24.
![Funny Jokes]()
A couple is in bed sleeping when there’s a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it’s half past 3 in the morning.
“I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over.
Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there’s a man standing there. It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
“Hi there,” slurs the stranger, “Can you give me a push?”
“No, get lost. It’s half past three and I was in bed,” says the man as he slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and she says, “That wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?”
“But the guy was drunk,” says the husband.
“It doesn’t matter,” says the wife.” He needs our help and it’s the right thing to help him.” So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere,
He shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?”
And he hears a voice cry out, “Yeah, please.”
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?” The drunk replies, “Over here, on the swing.”
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son
A couple were making their first doctor visit
A couple is in bed sleeping when there’s a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it’s half past 3 in the morning.
“I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over.
Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there’s a man standing there. It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
“Hi there,” slurs the stranger, “Can you give me a push?”
“No, get lost. It’s half past three and I was in bed,” says the man as he slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and she says, “That wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?”
“But the guy was drunk,” says the husband.
“It doesn’t matter,” says the wife.” He needs our help and it’s the right thing to help him.” So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere,
He shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?”
And he hears a voice cry out, “Yeah, please.”
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?” The drunk replies, “Over here, on the swing.”
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son
A couple were making their first doctor visit
25.
![Funny Jokes]()
A man returns home a day early from a business trip.
It’s after midnight.
While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.
The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act.
For £50 quid, the cabby agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip-toe into the bedroom.
The husband switches on the lights yank the blanket back and there is his wife, undressed, with a man.
The husband puts a gun to the undressed man’s head.
The wife shouts, ‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.
He paid for the Porsche I gave you.
He paid for your new 25 ft. Ranger Fishing Boat .
He paid for your Football season tickets.
He paid for our house at the lake.
He paid for your Golf Trip to St Andrews and your new 4 x 4.
He paid for our country club membership and HE even pays the monthly dues!’
Shaking his head from side to side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the cabby and says, ‘What would you do’?
The cabby replies, ‘I’d cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.’
This woman asks her husband why he Is acting crazy
A husband and wife came to see a therapist
A man returns home a day early from a business trip.
It’s after midnight.
While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.
The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act.
For £50 quid, the cabby agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip-toe into the bedroom.
The husband switches on the lights yank the blanket back and there is his wife, undressed, with a man.
The husband puts a gun to the undressed man’s head.
The wife shouts, ‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.
He paid for the Porsche I gave you.
He paid for your new 25 ft. Ranger Fishing Boat .
He paid for your Football season tickets.
He paid for our house at the lake.
He paid for your Golf Trip to St Andrews and your new 4 x 4.
He paid for our country club membership and HE even pays the monthly dues!’
Shaking his head from side to side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the cabby and says, ‘What would you do’?
The cabby replies, ‘I’d cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.’
This woman asks her husband why he Is acting crazy
A husband and wife came to see a therapist
26.
![Funny Jokes]()
A minister gave a talk to the community center on mating.
When he got home, he couldn’t tell his wife that he had spoken on mating,
So he said he had discussed “Horseback Riding” with the members.
A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,…
and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said:,
“Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter,… as he’s only tried it twice.
The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off.”
Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching
George was planning on going out
A minister gave a talk to the community center on mating.
When he got home, he couldn’t tell his wife that he had spoken on mating,
So he said he had discussed “Horseback Riding” with the members.
A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,…
and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said:,
“Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter,… as he’s only tried it twice.
The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off.”
Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching
George was planning on going out
27.
![Funny Jokes]()
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.
They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. A
t the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them.
They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”
The Christmas carol performance
A group of blondes walk into a bar
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.
They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. A
t the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them.
They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”
The Christmas carol performance
A group of blondes walk into a bar
28.
![Funny Jokes]()
A man is sitting at home one night suddenly, there’s a loud knock at the door.
The man opens the door to find a six-foot beetle standing at the doorstep.
“What in the world is this?” he asks.
The beetle responds by attacking the man viciously, with a flurry of kicks and punches then the beetle leaves.
The man crawls into his house and calls an ambulance.
At the hospital, the emergency room intern asks him how it happened.
The guy tells him about the beetle.
“Yes,” the doctor says, with an understanding nod.
“There is a nasty bug going around at the moment…”
How Men Came To Wear Earrings
A milkman who is dying in the hospital
A man is sitting at home one night suddenly, there’s a loud knock at the door.
The man opens the door to find a six-foot beetle standing at the doorstep.
“What in the world is this?” he asks.
The beetle responds by attacking the man viciously, with a flurry of kicks and punches then the beetle leaves.
The man crawls into his house and calls an ambulance.
At the hospital, the emergency room intern asks him how it happened.
The guy tells him about the beetle.
“Yes,” the doctor says, with an understanding nod.
“There is a nasty bug going around at the moment…”
How Men Came To Wear Earrings
A milkman who is dying in the hospital
29.
![Funny Jokes]()
A couple were Christmas shopping.
The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised.
When she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.”
He replied, “Well, I’m in the bar next door.”
A man and his wife were having some problems
A elderly couple who were childhood
A couple were Christmas shopping.
The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised.
When she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.”
He replied, “Well, I’m in the bar next door.”
A man and his wife were having some problems
A elderly couple who were childhood
30.
![Funny Jokes]()
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father.
He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, “I’m running away from home!”
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically.
“What if you get hungry?” he asked.
“Then I’ll come home and eat,” bravely declared the child.
“And what if you run out of money?” inquired the father.
“I will come home and get some,” readily replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt, “What if your clothes get dirty?”
“Then I’ll come home and let mommy wash them,” was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed, “This kid is not running away from home, he’s going off to college!”
Two little boys were arguing
A farmer and his wife were laying
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father.
He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, “I’m running away from home!”
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically.
“What if you get hungry?” he asked.
“Then I’ll come home and eat,” bravely declared the child.
“And what if you run out of money?” inquired the father.
“I will come home and get some,” readily replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt, “What if your clothes get dirty?”
“Then I’ll come home and let mommy wash them,” was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed, “This kid is not running away from home, he’s going off to college!”
Two little boys were arguing
A farmer and his wife were laying
Tags:
Eng Jokes
