1.
Three fathers we sitting in a bar bragging to each other about how successful each of their sons was.
The first father declared, “my son is a successful doctor. In fact, he just bought his best friend a brand new car.”
“That’s all fine and good.” Said the second father.
“But my son is a successful lawyer. He just bought his best friend a brand new yacht!”
“Ha!” Laughed the third father.
“My son in an incredibly successful CEO of a large company. He just bought his friend his own private jet!”
Just then, a fourth father walked in and sat down with them.
“What does your son do?” asked the first father.
“My son is a gay stripper.” The fourth father replied.
The other fathers looked at each other.
“You must be disappointed in how his life turned out then.”
“Nah.” said the fourth father.
“In fact, he has three boyfriends and they all just bought him a car, a yacht, and a private jet.”
A young man was watching the news
The English teacher called Peter
Three fathers we sitting in a bar bragging to each other about how successful each of their sons was.
The first father declared, “my son is a successful doctor. In fact, he just bought his best friend a brand new car.”
“That’s all fine and good.” Said the second father.
“But my son is a successful lawyer. He just bought his best friend a brand new yacht!”
“Ha!” Laughed the third father.
“My son in an incredibly successful CEO of a large company. He just bought his friend his own private jet!”
Just then, a fourth father walked in and sat down with them.
“What does your son do?” asked the first father.
“My son is a gay stripper.” The fourth father replied.
The other fathers looked at each other.
“You must be disappointed in how his life turned out then.”
“Nah.” said the fourth father.
“In fact, he has three boyfriends and they all just bought him a car, a yacht, and a private jet.”
A young man was watching the news
The English teacher called Peter
2.
“A 24 year old boy seeing out from the train’s window shouted…
Dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behavior with pity, suddenly he again exclaimed.
‘Dad, look the clouds are running with us!’
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…
‘Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?’
The old man smiled and said…’I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.’
Every single person on the planet has a story, Don’t judge people before you truly know them.
The truth might surprise you.”
The priest got a brilliant idea
Frank was excited about his new rifle
“A 24 year old boy seeing out from the train’s window shouted…
Dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behavior with pity, suddenly he again exclaimed.
‘Dad, look the clouds are running with us!’
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…
‘Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?’
The old man smiled and said…’I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.’
Every single person on the planet has a story, Don’t judge people before you truly know them.
The truth might surprise you.”
The priest got a brilliant idea
Frank was excited about his new rifle
3.
Death comes to collect a man’s soul.
When he gets to the man’s home, he sees the man and his family are in the middle of party.
Death tells the man why he has come.
The man begs death to spare him but death insists that he must start at the top of his list and his name is first.
The man sadly agrees but asks death if he could at least finish up the party with his family.
Death agrees and they invite him to join the festivities.
While death is distracted with the party, the man quickly moves his name to the bottom of the list.
Death has a great time and at the end of the party he’s in a good mood. He turns to the man and says,
“You know what? Since you’ve treated me to such a great time, I’ll start from the bottom of the list this time.”
Wife Going To Las Vegas
Two Lawyer Friends Playing Golf
Death comes to collect a man’s soul.
When he gets to the man’s home, he sees the man and his family are in the middle of party.
Death tells the man why he has come.
The man begs death to spare him but death insists that he must start at the top of his list and his name is first.
The man sadly agrees but asks death if he could at least finish up the party with his family.
Death agrees and they invite him to join the festivities.
While death is distracted with the party, the man quickly moves his name to the bottom of the list.
Death has a great time and at the end of the party he’s in a good mood. He turns to the man and says,
“You know what? Since you’ve treated me to such a great time, I’ll start from the bottom of the list this time.”
Wife Going To Las Vegas
Two Lawyer Friends Playing Golf
4.
A couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and asks the doctor, “Where is my baby?!”
The doctor replies, “They are both fine, you have a beautiful boy and girl.
Your husband went back to work and you were out so long that your brother named them.”
The woman looked concerned, as her brother wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. “Oh no. What did he name them?”
“He named the girl Denise,” The doctor replies.
The woman, relieved, “Well, that’s not so bad. What about the boy?”
“Denephew.”
A judge was interviewing a woman
The passenger window and tapped lightly
A couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and asks the doctor, “Where is my baby?!”
The doctor replies, “They are both fine, you have a beautiful boy and girl.
Your husband went back to work and you were out so long that your brother named them.”
The woman looked concerned, as her brother wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. “Oh no. What did he name them?”
“He named the girl Denise,” The doctor replies.
The woman, relieved, “Well, that’s not so bad. What about the boy?”
“Denephew.”
A judge was interviewing a woman
The passenger window and tapped lightly
5.
A couple were Christmas shopping.
The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised.
When she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.”
He replied, “Well, I’m in the bar next door.”
A man and his wife were having some problems
A elderly couple who were childhood
A couple were Christmas shopping.
The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised.
When she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.”
He replied, “Well, I’m in the bar next door.”
A man and his wife were having some problems
A elderly couple who were childhood
6.
Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict.
It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.
Then the long collaboration fell apart.
It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.
One morning there was a knock on John’s door he opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox, “I’m looking for a few days work” he said.
“Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there could I help you?” “Yes,” said the older brother.
“I do have a job for you look across the creek at that farm that’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother.
Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us.
Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll go him one better see that pile of lumber curing by the barn?
I want you to build me a fence — an 8-foot fence — so I won’t need to see his place anymore.”
The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation show me the nails and the post-fanny digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”
The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.
The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.
About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.
The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.
There was no fence there at all, It was a bridge — a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other!
A fine piece of work — handrails and all — and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.
“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”
The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand.
They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder.
“No, wait! Stay a few days I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.
“I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but, I have many more bridges to build.”
A lawyer’s dog
Two boys are playing football
Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict.
It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.
Then the long collaboration fell apart.
It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.
One morning there was a knock on John’s door he opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox, “I’m looking for a few days work” he said.
“Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there could I help you?” “Yes,” said the older brother.
“I do have a job for you look across the creek at that farm that’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother.
Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us.
Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll go him one better see that pile of lumber curing by the barn?
I want you to build me a fence — an 8-foot fence — so I won’t need to see his place anymore.”
The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation show me the nails and the post-fanny digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”
The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.
The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.
About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.
The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.
There was no fence there at all, It was a bridge — a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other!
A fine piece of work — handrails and all — and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.
“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”
The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand.
They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder.
“No, wait! Stay a few days I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.
“I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but, I have many more bridges to build.”
A lawyer’s dog
Two boys are playing football
7.
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year.
“He’s a magician,” said the small boy.
“How interesting! What’s his favorite trick?
“Sawing people in half.”
“Really? Now, next question any brothers or sisters?”
“Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters.”
A old hunter of foxes
A Raven & A Swan
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year.
“He’s a magician,” said the small boy.
“How interesting! What’s his favorite trick?
“Sawing people in half.”
“Really? Now, next question any brothers or sisters?”
“Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters.”
A old hunter of foxes
A Raven & A Swan
8.
After four years of drought in the small north-east village, the priest gathered everyone for a pilgrimage up to the mountain;
there they would do a collective prayer, asking for the rain to fall again.
In the group, the priest noticed a boy wearing a raincoat.
“Are you crazy?” he asked the boy.
“It hasn’t rained in this region for five years and the heat from hiking up the mountain will kill you.”
The boy replied: “I have a cold, priest
If we are going to ask God for rain, can you imagine our return from the mountain? It will be a spate and I need to be prepared.”
At this moment, they heard a great roar coming from the sky and the first drops began to fall.
It sufficed the faith of a boy in a miracle that even the most prepared ones didn’t believe in.
The Husband Hired A Detective
A chemistry professor wanted to teach
After four years of drought in the small north-east village, the priest gathered everyone for a pilgrimage up to the mountain;
there they would do a collective prayer, asking for the rain to fall again.
In the group, the priest noticed a boy wearing a raincoat.
“Are you crazy?” he asked the boy.
“It hasn’t rained in this region for five years and the heat from hiking up the mountain will kill you.”
The boy replied: “I have a cold, priest
If we are going to ask God for rain, can you imagine our return from the mountain? It will be a spate and I need to be prepared.”
At this moment, they heard a great roar coming from the sky and the first drops began to fall.
It sufficed the faith of a boy in a miracle that even the most prepared ones didn’t believe in.
The Husband Hired A Detective
A chemistry professor wanted to teach
9.
Mr. Johnson boarded a plane to New York City.
He was about to sit down in the aisle seat he had booked when he saw a blonde woman sitting in his seat.
“Wh-what are you doing?!” sputtered Mr. Johnson.
“I specifically booked this seat!
Why aren’t you sitting in your seat?!”
The blonde woman replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.”
Angrily, Mr. Johnson snatched the blonde’s ticket out of her hand. It was for the middle seat.
“Your ticket says you’re supposed to be sitting in this middle seat!” he shouted.
“I specifically booked this aisle seat because I’m six-foot-five and I hate the cramped spaces of airplane seats! Meanwhile, you don’t seem to be any taller than five-foot-one. You should be able to handle the middle seat just fine!”
He showed the blonde his ticket to prove that he had, indeed, booked the aisle seat.
Again, the blonde woman replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.”
“You’d better listen to that guy,” said the woman sitting in the window seat.
“I once dated a guy who was six-foot-one, four inches shorter than that guy, and he always sat in the aisle seat because he hated the cramped spaces.”
For the third time, the blonde woman replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.”
Mr. Johnson was now furious.
He told a nearby flight attendant about the blonde in his seat.
The flight attendant whispered something in the blonde’s ear, and the blonde sheepishly moved into the middle seat.
A relieved Mr. Johnson sat in the aisle seat.
As soon as the plane had landed, Mr. Johnson asked the flight attendant, “What did you tell that woman?”
“I told her that the aisle seat wasn’t going to New York City.”
A blonde walks into a bank
George raises his beer mug
Mr. Johnson boarded a plane to New York City.
He was about to sit down in the aisle seat he had booked when he saw a blonde woman sitting in his seat.
“Wh-what are you doing?!” sputtered Mr. Johnson.
“I specifically booked this seat!
Why aren’t you sitting in your seat?!”
The blonde woman replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.”
Angrily, Mr. Johnson snatched the blonde’s ticket out of her hand. It was for the middle seat.
“Your ticket says you’re supposed to be sitting in this middle seat!” he shouted.
“I specifically booked this aisle seat because I’m six-foot-five and I hate the cramped spaces of airplane seats! Meanwhile, you don’t seem to be any taller than five-foot-one. You should be able to handle the middle seat just fine!”
He showed the blonde his ticket to prove that he had, indeed, booked the aisle seat.
Again, the blonde woman replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.”
“You’d better listen to that guy,” said the woman sitting in the window seat.
“I once dated a guy who was six-foot-one, four inches shorter than that guy, and he always sat in the aisle seat because he hated the cramped spaces.”
For the third time, the blonde woman replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City.”
Mr. Johnson was now furious.
He told a nearby flight attendant about the blonde in his seat.
The flight attendant whispered something in the blonde’s ear, and the blonde sheepishly moved into the middle seat.
A relieved Mr. Johnson sat in the aisle seat.
As soon as the plane had landed, Mr. Johnson asked the flight attendant, “What did you tell that woman?”
“I told her that the aisle seat wasn’t going to New York City.”
A blonde walks into a bank
George raises his beer mug
10.
A statue of a Macho athlete was displayed in a Museum.
Husband and Wife came walking there appreciating and arguing everything they saw so far.
Husband would not let wife win the battles of wits.
So wife relaxed watching this n*de statue with just a couple of leaves to cover its privates, hoping husband goes to other displays.
The husband says, “Marvelous, but really darling there is not much to appreciate here.
What is it that you are waiting for?”
Wife says, “Dear, the season when the Leaves Fall.”
A woman goes to her doctor
Old Men Are Fast Thinkers Beware
A statue of a Macho athlete was displayed in a Museum.
Husband and Wife came walking there appreciating and arguing everything they saw so far.
Husband would not let wife win the battles of wits.
So wife relaxed watching this n*de statue with just a couple of leaves to cover its privates, hoping husband goes to other displays.
The husband says, “Marvelous, but really darling there is not much to appreciate here.
What is it that you are waiting for?”
Wife says, “Dear, the season when the Leaves Fall.”
A woman goes to her doctor
Old Men Are Fast Thinkers Beware
11.
These three guys die together in a tragic accident and they all go to heaven.
When they get there, St.Peter greets them and tells them, “We only have one rule here in heaven don’t step on the ducks.”
So, they enter heaven and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It’s almost impossible not to step on a duck there’s so many, and though they try their utmost to avoid standing on them, the first guy soon accidentally steps on one.
St.Peter then appears with the ugliest woman the guy had ever seen.
St.Peter chains the woman to the guy and says to him, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!”
The next day, the second guy also accidentally steps on a duck.
Once again, St.Peter shows up and with him is another extremely ugly woman.
He chains the woman to the second guy saying, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!”
The third guy has observed all this and as he really doesn’t want to be chained to an ugly woman for eternity, he’s extremely careful where he steps.
Indeed, he manages to go months without stepping on any ducks one day though, St.Peter appears with the most gorgeous woman the guy has ever laid eyes on.
She’s tall, curvaceous, tanned.
Without a word, St.Peter chains the woman to the third guy.
The guy happily says to the woman, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity?”
The woman replies, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.”
Two elderly women were out driving
A Priest was being honored
These three guys die together in a tragic accident and they all go to heaven.
When they get there, St.Peter greets them and tells them, “We only have one rule here in heaven don’t step on the ducks.”
So, they enter heaven and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It’s almost impossible not to step on a duck there’s so many, and though they try their utmost to avoid standing on them, the first guy soon accidentally steps on one.
St.Peter then appears with the ugliest woman the guy had ever seen.
St.Peter chains the woman to the guy and says to him, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!”
The next day, the second guy also accidentally steps on a duck.
Once again, St.Peter shows up and with him is another extremely ugly woman.
He chains the woman to the second guy saying, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!”
The third guy has observed all this and as he really doesn’t want to be chained to an ugly woman for eternity, he’s extremely careful where he steps.
Indeed, he manages to go months without stepping on any ducks one day though, St.Peter appears with the most gorgeous woman the guy has ever laid eyes on.
She’s tall, curvaceous, tanned.
Without a word, St.Peter chains the woman to the third guy.
The guy happily says to the woman, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity?”
The woman replies, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.”
Two elderly women were out driving
A Priest was being honored
12.
Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least.
After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable.
Due however, to Bob’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad news.
A Instead, he gave the sorry job to Bob’s wife of 40 years, hoping that she would know how to break the bad news to him ever so slowly and gently.
“Honey”, said Bob’s wife Eva the next morning, “I’ve got good news and bad news, which one would you like to hear first?”
Bob, always in a morbid state, responded in his usual grumpy voice, “what do I care? Just give me the bad news!”
“Well dear,” said Eva cupping Bob’s hand with her two hands, “I hate to have to tell you this, but it seems like your legs are going to have to be taken off.”
Bob, barely able to hold his voice from cracking croaked out, “Eva, what’s the good news?”
“The good news” said Eva happily, “is that that the gardener that was in here just before, said he may be interested in buying your slippers from you!”
Sam goes to the doctor
Anne was on her deathbed breathing
Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least.
After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable.
Due however, to Bob’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad news.
A Instead, he gave the sorry job to Bob’s wife of 40 years, hoping that she would know how to break the bad news to him ever so slowly and gently.
“Honey”, said Bob’s wife Eva the next morning, “I’ve got good news and bad news, which one would you like to hear first?”
Bob, always in a morbid state, responded in his usual grumpy voice, “what do I care? Just give me the bad news!”
“Well dear,” said Eva cupping Bob’s hand with her two hands, “I hate to have to tell you this, but it seems like your legs are going to have to be taken off.”
Bob, barely able to hold his voice from cracking croaked out, “Eva, what’s the good news?”
“The good news” said Eva happily, “is that that the gardener that was in here just before, said he may be interested in buying your slippers from you!”
Sam goes to the doctor
Anne was on her deathbed breathing
13.
An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other.
The whole street could hear them screaming and yelling whenever they had a confrontation.
The old man used to say: “I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
One night, he died suddenly, and was buried. His wife celebrated by heading straight to the local bar to party as if there was no tomorrow.
To her dismay, the old man returned to life the day after, and really did manage to dig his way out of his grave.
Inevitably, they went back to arguing as they always had done.
A couple of years went by, and the man died once again.
The old woman went out to celebrate, just as she had done the first time he died.
The neighbors asked about whether he really would come and haunt her for the rest of her life this time round.
“I don’t think he’ll be climbing out this time,” she said.
“I had the old fool buried upside down.”
A woman and a baby were in the doctor
A wife was cooking something in the kitchen
An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other.
The whole street could hear them screaming and yelling whenever they had a confrontation.
The old man used to say: “I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
One night, he died suddenly, and was buried. His wife celebrated by heading straight to the local bar to party as if there was no tomorrow.
To her dismay, the old man returned to life the day after, and really did manage to dig his way out of his grave.
Inevitably, they went back to arguing as they always had done.
A couple of years went by, and the man died once again.
The old woman went out to celebrate, just as she had done the first time he died.
The neighbors asked about whether he really would come and haunt her for the rest of her life this time round.
“I don’t think he’ll be climbing out this time,” she said.
“I had the old fool buried upside down.”
A woman and a baby were in the doctor
A wife was cooking something in the kitchen
14.
“You’ve got a rare disease and you’ve only got 6 months to live,” the doc tells him.
The patient is incredulous and tells the doctor he’s going to get a second opinion.
He finds another doctor a few days later and after a battery of tests, this doctor gives him the same bad news.
Patient is in shock and asks if there’s anything he should do.
The doctor pauses a moment and says, “Can I give you some non-medical advice?”
“Sure, anything, Doc I’m desperate!”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” the doctor asks.
“Nope, been single for years,” says the patient.
“Well,” says the doctor, “I encourage you to find a girlfriend. Go shopping with her, listen to all of her complaints and problems, get involved with every thing she does and completely immerse yourself into her I mean, EVERY aspect of her you can.”
The patient perks up and is feeling hopeful.
“Will that extend my life?!”
“No,” says the doctor, “But it’ll be the longest darn 6 months you’ve ever had.”
Two older lady decide to meet for tea
A poor boy and rich girl
“You’ve got a rare disease and you’ve only got 6 months to live,” the doc tells him.
The patient is incredulous and tells the doctor he’s going to get a second opinion.
He finds another doctor a few days later and after a battery of tests, this doctor gives him the same bad news.
Patient is in shock and asks if there’s anything he should do.
The doctor pauses a moment and says, “Can I give you some non-medical advice?”
“Sure, anything, Doc I’m desperate!”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” the doctor asks.
“Nope, been single for years,” says the patient.
“Well,” says the doctor, “I encourage you to find a girlfriend. Go shopping with her, listen to all of her complaints and problems, get involved with every thing she does and completely immerse yourself into her I mean, EVERY aspect of her you can.”
The patient perks up and is feeling hopeful.
“Will that extend my life?!”
“No,” says the doctor, “But it’ll be the longest darn 6 months you’ve ever had.”
Two older lady decide to meet for tea
A poor boy and rich girl
15.
A blonde decides to make an experiment.
She gets a spider, and pulls of two legs and tells it to walk.
It walks a few steps, so she removes another two legs and asks it to walk.
It walks a few more steps, so she yanks off another two legs and tells it to walk.
It walks, so she removes the last two legs and tells it to walk.
Nothing happens, so she asks it again to walk.
It doesn’t move so she comes up with a conclusion.
Spiders with no legs are deaf.
A farmer walked into a bar
She goes to doctor
A blonde decides to make an experiment.
She gets a spider, and pulls of two legs and tells it to walk.
It walks a few steps, so she removes another two legs and asks it to walk.
It walks a few more steps, so she yanks off another two legs and tells it to walk.
It walks, so she removes the last two legs and tells it to walk.
Nothing happens, so she asks it again to walk.
It doesn’t move so she comes up with a conclusion.
Spiders with no legs are deaf.
A farmer walked into a bar
She goes to doctor
16.
A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.
She pulls out a large syringe to give him an anesthesia shot.
“No way, no needles! I hate needles!” the man exclaims so she starts to hook up the nitro us oxide tank, and the man says,
“I can’t do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me!”
The dentist then asks the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill.
“No,” he says, “I’m fine with pills.”
So the lady dentist gives him two little blue pills and he swallows them.
“What are those?” he asks. “tablet,” she calmly replies.
“I’ll be damned,” said the man, “I didn’t know tablet works as a pain killer.”
“It doesn’t,” says the wise lady,
“But it’ll give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.”
Mr. Evans discovered that her daughter
Two lawyers are having a drink
A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.
She pulls out a large syringe to give him an anesthesia shot.
“No way, no needles! I hate needles!” the man exclaims so she starts to hook up the nitro us oxide tank, and the man says,
“I can’t do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me!”
The dentist then asks the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill.
“No,” he says, “I’m fine with pills.”
So the lady dentist gives him two little blue pills and he swallows them.
“What are those?” he asks. “tablet,” she calmly replies.
“I’ll be damned,” said the man, “I didn’t know tablet works as a pain killer.”
“It doesn’t,” says the wise lady,
“But it’ll give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.”
Mr. Evans discovered that her daughter
Two lawyers are having a drink
17.
Nasreddin Hodja, having need for a large cooking container, borrowed his neighbor’s copper cauldron, then returned it in a timely manner.
“What is this?” asked his neighbor upon examining the returned cauldron.
“There is a small pot inside my cauldron.”
“Oh,” responded the Hodja.
“While it was in my care your cauldron gave birth to a little one because you are the owner of the mother cauldron, it is only right that you should keep its baby and in any event, it would not be right to separate the child from its mother at such a young age.”
The neighbor, thinking that the Hodja had gone quite mad, did not argue.
Whatever had caused the crazy man to come up with this explanation, the neighbor had a nice little pot, and it had cost him nothing.
Some time later the Hodja asked to borrow the cauldron again.
“Why not?” thought the neighbor to himself.
“Perhaps there will be another little pot inside when he returns it.”
But this time the Hodja did not return the cauldron.
After many days had passed, the neighbor went to the Hodja and asked for the return of the borrowed cauldron.
“My dear friend,” replied the Hodja.
“I have bad news
Your cauldron has died, and is now in her grave.”
“What are you saying?” shouted the neighbor a cauldron does not live, and it cannot die return it to me at once!”
“One moment!” answered the Hodja.
“This is the same cauldron that but a short time ago gave birth to a child, a child that is still in your possession if a cauldron can give birth to a child, then it also can die.”
And the neighbor never again saw his cauldron.
A teacher in New York
The best positions for prayer
Nasreddin Hodja, having need for a large cooking container, borrowed his neighbor’s copper cauldron, then returned it in a timely manner.
“What is this?” asked his neighbor upon examining the returned cauldron.
“There is a small pot inside my cauldron.”
“Oh,” responded the Hodja.
“While it was in my care your cauldron gave birth to a little one because you are the owner of the mother cauldron, it is only right that you should keep its baby and in any event, it would not be right to separate the child from its mother at such a young age.”
The neighbor, thinking that the Hodja had gone quite mad, did not argue.
Whatever had caused the crazy man to come up with this explanation, the neighbor had a nice little pot, and it had cost him nothing.
Some time later the Hodja asked to borrow the cauldron again.
“Why not?” thought the neighbor to himself.
“Perhaps there will be another little pot inside when he returns it.”
But this time the Hodja did not return the cauldron.
After many days had passed, the neighbor went to the Hodja and asked for the return of the borrowed cauldron.
“My dear friend,” replied the Hodja.
“I have bad news
Your cauldron has died, and is now in her grave.”
“What are you saying?” shouted the neighbor a cauldron does not live, and it cannot die return it to me at once!”
“One moment!” answered the Hodja.
“This is the same cauldron that but a short time ago gave birth to a child, a child that is still in your possession if a cauldron can give birth to a child, then it also can die.”
And the neighbor never again saw his cauldron.
A teacher in New York
The best positions for prayer
18.
A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor.
As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father.
They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine.
The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father.
The wife says, “Oh, that’s actually better.”
The husband says he can’t feel anything.
Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn’t hurt nearly as much.
The husband says he sill can’t feel anything.
The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%.
The husband still can’t feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her.
The baby is born.
The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep.
A guy walks into a bar
A police officer attempts to stop
A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor.
As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father.
They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine.
The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father.
The wife says, “Oh, that’s actually better.”
The husband says he can’t feel anything.
Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn’t hurt nearly as much.
The husband says he sill can’t feel anything.
The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%.
The husband still can’t feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her.
The baby is born.
The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep.
A guy walks into a bar
A police officer attempts to stop
19.
A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day.
She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years.
His favorite: a sandwich on Italian bread, made with turkey, American cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo.
The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite.
His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “How’s the sandwich dear?”
Every time he would give the same response, “It tastes fine”.
He would continue eating with a disappointed look on his face.
His wife thinks maybe its time to switch things up a bit.
So the next day, she makes him his normal lunch, only this time, she makes it with ham and cheese, and on wheat bread.
She thought surely he will enjoy this!
The husband enters the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife then asks “How’s the sandwich dear?”
As always, he replies “It tastes fine”.
He would continue eating with a disappointed look on his face.
His wife then thinks maybe she needs to offer him more variety.
So the next day, she makes him a sandwich, only this time it’s made with salami, pepperoni, and extra veggies and vinaigrette dressing.
He walks in the kitchen, takes a bite, and the wife asks, “How’s the sandwich dear?”
As always, he replies “It tastes fine” and continued eating with a disappointed look on his face.
The next day, as lunchtime is getting ready to roll around, his wife was making him lunch.
She was furious at the lack of excitement and enjoyment coming from her husband, so she decides she’s going to make him the most unique sandwich he’s ever had.
She prepares her Italian bread, only this time she toasts it, and almost burns it.
She adds random ingredients like peanut butter, peppers and onions, strawberry jam, turkey, ham, corned beef, some olives and some various seasonings.
She thought “If this doesn’t get a new reaction out of him, nothing will!”
The husband walks into the kitchen, takes a seat, and takes a bite of his sandwich.
All of a sudden, his eyes widen, and he takes two more bites.
Suddenly, he looks up at his wife with the biggest grin he’s ever had.
He chuckled a bit and says “Finally! Something original in this sub!”
A husband and wife get up on Sunday
A wife was in bed with her lover
A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day.
She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years.
His favorite: a sandwich on Italian bread, made with turkey, American cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo.
The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite.
His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “How’s the sandwich dear?”
Every time he would give the same response, “It tastes fine”.
He would continue eating with a disappointed look on his face.
His wife thinks maybe its time to switch things up a bit.
So the next day, she makes him his normal lunch, only this time, she makes it with ham and cheese, and on wheat bread.
She thought surely he will enjoy this!
The husband enters the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife then asks “How’s the sandwich dear?”
As always, he replies “It tastes fine”.
He would continue eating with a disappointed look on his face.
His wife then thinks maybe she needs to offer him more variety.
So the next day, she makes him a sandwich, only this time it’s made with salami, pepperoni, and extra veggies and vinaigrette dressing.
He walks in the kitchen, takes a bite, and the wife asks, “How’s the sandwich dear?”
As always, he replies “It tastes fine” and continued eating with a disappointed look on his face.
The next day, as lunchtime is getting ready to roll around, his wife was making him lunch.
She was furious at the lack of excitement and enjoyment coming from her husband, so she decides she’s going to make him the most unique sandwich he’s ever had.
She prepares her Italian bread, only this time she toasts it, and almost burns it.
She adds random ingredients like peanut butter, peppers and onions, strawberry jam, turkey, ham, corned beef, some olives and some various seasonings.
She thought “If this doesn’t get a new reaction out of him, nothing will!”
The husband walks into the kitchen, takes a seat, and takes a bite of his sandwich.
All of a sudden, his eyes widen, and he takes two more bites.
Suddenly, he looks up at his wife with the biggest grin he’s ever had.
He chuckled a bit and says “Finally! Something original in this sub!”
A husband and wife get up on Sunday
A wife was in bed with her lover
20.
A beautiful, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane.
The lady said to him “Can you help me remove something from my corset please?”
‘The exciting young man replied, “Wow! It will be my pleasure……. So what is it?”
“Your Eyes, idiot!”
Two Irishmen were talking
Two drunks are driving down the highway
A beautiful, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane.
The lady said to him “Can you help me remove something from my corset please?”
‘The exciting young man replied, “Wow! It will be my pleasure……. So what is it?”
“Your Eyes, idiot!”
Two Irishmen were talking
Two drunks are driving down the highway
21.
A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
She asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?”
“NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!”
Now she was smiling. Hey, they’re getting it, she thought!
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?” she asked.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
She was just bursting with pride for them.
“Well,” she continued,
“then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old little Johnny shouted out,
“YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”
He was a widower and she was a widow
A man was sick and tired
A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
She asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?”
“NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!”
Now she was smiling. Hey, they’re getting it, she thought!
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?” she asked.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
She was just bursting with pride for them.
“Well,” she continued,
“then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old little Johnny shouted out,
“YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”
He was a widower and she was a widow
A man was sick and tired
22.
The mother came on her little son who was standing thoughtfully before the gooseberry bush in the garden.
She noted that his expression was both puzzled and distressed.
“Why, what’s the matter, little lamb?” she asked tenderly.
“I’m thinkin, mumy,” the boy answered.
“What about, little man?”
“Have gooseberries any legs, mumy?”
“Why, no! Of course not, dear.”
The perplexity passed from the little boy’s face, but the expression of trouble deepened, as he spoke again:
“Then, mumy, I fink I’ve swallowed a catapillar.”
A elderly couple who were childhood
An 18 year old girl tells her Mum
The mother came on her little son who was standing thoughtfully before the gooseberry bush in the garden.
She noted that his expression was both puzzled and distressed.
“Why, what’s the matter, little lamb?” she asked tenderly.
“I’m thinkin, mumy,” the boy answered.
“What about, little man?”
“Have gooseberries any legs, mumy?”
“Why, no! Of course not, dear.”
The perplexity passed from the little boy’s face, but the expression of trouble deepened, as he spoke again:
“Then, mumy, I fink I’ve swallowed a catapillar.”
A elderly couple who were childhood
An 18 year old girl tells her Mum
23.
Nasruddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart.
Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal’s head between the horns, but never dared try it.
One day the animal came and sat down very near him.
Hodja threw caution to the winds and seizing the horns swung himself into the space between them.
“Now I feel like a king on his throne!” he said exultantly to his wife.
The buffalo, startled by the sudden invasion of its privacy, got indignantly to its feet and jerked its head violently forward.
Hodja went sailing into the air and fell head foremost into a ditch.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said to his wife who came running to help him.
“It’s not the first time a king has lost his throne.”
The father shark said to the son shark
The guard stops him and says
Nasruddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart.
Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal’s head between the horns, but never dared try it.
One day the animal came and sat down very near him.
Hodja threw caution to the winds and seizing the horns swung himself into the space between them.
“Now I feel like a king on his throne!” he said exultantly to his wife.
The buffalo, startled by the sudden invasion of its privacy, got indignantly to its feet and jerked its head violently forward.
Hodja went sailing into the air and fell head foremost into a ditch.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said to his wife who came running to help him.
“It’s not the first time a king has lost his throne.”
The father shark said to the son shark
The guard stops him and says
24.
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.
The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its h*le.
He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that h*le.”
The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little h*le.”
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray.
He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.
Then he puts the worm back into the h*le.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.”
The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your grandma.”
A couple walked into cheap restaurant
A young boy caught sight of his mother
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.
The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its h*le.
He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that h*le.”
The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little h*le.”
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray.
He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.
Then he puts the worm back into the h*le.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.”
The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your grandma.”
A couple walked into cheap restaurant
A young boy caught sight of his mother
25.
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe’s place.
When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work.
When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her.
Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife.
Joe said that he’d started this about six months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn’t be better.
Bob thought he’d give it a go.
When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her.
His wife burst into tears.
Bob was confused and asked why she was crying.
She said, “This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle.
Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!”
A man went to the doctor
Bubba and Earl were driving down the road
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe’s place.
When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work.
When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her.
Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife.
Joe said that he’d started this about six months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn’t be better.
Bob thought he’d give it a go.
When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her.
His wife burst into tears.
Bob was confused and asked why she was crying.
She said, “This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle.
Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!”
A man went to the doctor
Bubba and Earl were driving down the road
26.
A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves.
He had the manager try them on.
She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up.
When the manager gave him the gift she accidentally gave him a pair of undergarment instead.
When the girlfriend got the gift there was a note attached to it.
The note read: Dear Honey, Hope you like the gift.
The lady at store said they were perfect.
I had her try them on for me.
She looked more like a lady,
I hope you will wear them for me Friday night.
Love, Bobby.
I Gotta Be Drunk
Supermarket Mother
A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves.
He had the manager try them on.
She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up.
When the manager gave him the gift she accidentally gave him a pair of undergarment instead.
When the girlfriend got the gift there was a note attached to it.
The note read: Dear Honey, Hope you like the gift.
The lady at store said they were perfect.
I had her try them on for me.
She looked more like a lady,
I hope you will wear them for me Friday night.
Love, Bobby.
I Gotta Be Drunk
Supermarket Mother
27.
The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.
The defense lawyer asks Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?”
“Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take the goods.”
The lawyer asks Sam again, “Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?”
“Yes,” says Sam, “I saw him do it.”
Then the lawyer asks Sam, “Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?”
Sam says, “I can see the moon, how far is that?”
A Hunter walking through the jungle
Two man went bear hunting
The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.
The defense lawyer asks Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?”
“Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take the goods.”
The lawyer asks Sam again, “Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?”
“Yes,” says Sam, “I saw him do it.”
Then the lawyer asks Sam, “Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?”
Sam says, “I can see the moon, how far is that?”
A Hunter walking through the jungle
Two man went bear hunting
28.
There was once a couple that had been married for 20 years.
They had a fine love life, with one exception:
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights completely.
Well, at first it wasn’t so annoying, but after so many years of marriage the wife felt it was foolish.
She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down and saw her husband was holding a specially made pleasure device.
She got very angry.
“You impotent bastard!” she screamed at him.
“How could you have been lying to me all these years? You better explain yourself!”
The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly:
“I’ll explain the toy if you explain the kids.”
A husband said to his wife
A man and his wife were having an argument
There was once a couple that had been married for 20 years.
They had a fine love life, with one exception:
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights completely.
Well, at first it wasn’t so annoying, but after so many years of marriage the wife felt it was foolish.
She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down and saw her husband was holding a specially made pleasure device.
She got very angry.
“You impotent bastard!” she screamed at him.
“How could you have been lying to me all these years? You better explain yourself!”
The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly:
“I’ll explain the toy if you explain the kids.”
A husband said to his wife
A man and his wife were having an argument
29.
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a ‘sniffing dog’.
‘His name is Sniffer and he’s the best there is
I’ll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work.’
The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman Said, ‘Watch this.’
He told Sniffer to ‘search’.
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman’s arm.
The Policeman said, ‘Good boy’, and he turned to the man and said,
‘ That woman is in possession of marijuana, I’m making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
‘Gee, that’s pretty good,’ replied the first man.
Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles..
The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent’s arm.
The Policeman said, ‘That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I’m making a note of his seat number for the police.’
‘I like it!’ said his seatmate.
The Policeman then told Sniffer to ‘search’ again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poop on the seat.
The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn’t figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.
So he asked the Policeman, ‘What’s going on?’
The Policeman nervously replied, ‘He’s just found a bomb.’
A group of devils
A young man was getting ready
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a ‘sniffing dog’.
‘His name is Sniffer and he’s the best there is
I’ll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work.’
The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman Said, ‘Watch this.’
He told Sniffer to ‘search’.
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman’s arm.
The Policeman said, ‘Good boy’, and he turned to the man and said,
‘ That woman is in possession of marijuana, I’m making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
‘Gee, that’s pretty good,’ replied the first man.
Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles..
The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent’s arm.
The Policeman said, ‘That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I’m making a note of his seat number for the police.’
‘I like it!’ said his seatmate.
The Policeman then told Sniffer to ‘search’ again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poop on the seat.
The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn’t figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.
So he asked the Policeman, ‘What’s going on?’
The Policeman nervously replied, ‘He’s just found a bomb.’
A group of devils
A young man was getting ready
30.
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:
Mother: ‘What does the cow say?’
Child: ‘Moooo!’
Mother: ‘Great! What does the cat say?’
Child: ‘Meow.’
Mother: ‘Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?’
And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, ‘Bud.’
A guy and a girl are lying
A old man and old woman are together
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:
Mother: ‘What does the cow say?’
Child: ‘Moooo!’
Mother: ‘Great! What does the cat say?’
Child: ‘Meow.’
Mother: ‘Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?’
And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, ‘Bud.’
A guy and a girl are lying
A old man and old woman are together
Tags:
Eng Jokes
