Get Ready to Laugh Until Your Stomach Hurts 06

1.



A man and a woman who never met before, find themselves on upper and lower berth of a long distance train.
At 2 am, man leans over saying, “Ma’am, sorry to bother you, would you be kind enough to give me a second blanket from the side table. It’s awfully cold here.”
“I have a better idea”, she replied, “Just for tonight, why don’t we pretend that we are married?”
“Great idea Ma’am”, he replied in great excitement.
She says, “Well then get up and get it yourself.”
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down
Two teenagers Fred and Joe

2.



If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name.
Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
Say “no” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak.
This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends, would you be my friend?”
If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems.
My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout…”
If the company cleans rugs, respond: “Can you get out blood?
Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?”
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?”
The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Me either!” Hang up.
Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”
Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .
When the salesperson asks, “Is this the homeowner?” say, “Is this the salesperson?” And when they say, “Yes,” hang up.
Actual Instruction Labels
MY SUSPENDERS ARE CAUGHT IN YOUR CAR DOOR

3.



A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies,
“Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids….”
A guy walks into the human resources department
Four married guys go golfing on Sunday

4.



He went to buy a guard dog, but his wife was angry when he returned with a chihuahua.
So the guy goes to a pet shop and says to one of the employees, “I need a guard dog to protect my apartment”
The employee responds, “I have the perfect dog for you”, she then showed him a chihuahua.
The man was not impressed and said, “I need a dog that can guard our house and fend off burglars, a chihuahua can’t do that.”
“But this is no regular chihuahua It’s an attack chihuahua!”
The employee said, “Here, I’ll show you how it works! Attack chihuahua, chair”
The employee pointed at a chair, and the guy and the employee watched as the chihuahua destroyed the chair, leaving only splinters behind.
“Wow,” the guy said “But I still think we need a real guard dog.”
“Are you sure?” she responded “Here I’ll show you again attack chihuahua, table!”
She pointed to a table, and, again, the chihuahua absolutely destroyed the table.
The man said “Okay, okay, I’ll take it.”
When he brought it home, his wife was very angry.
“Why did you buy a chihuahua?!”
She yelled “Because” he responded, “this is no ordinary chihuahua, this is an attack chihuahua!”
“Attack chihuahua, my bum!”
Are you still going to that memory clinic
A old hillbilly farmer

5.



A 75 year old man was walking by and suddenly he hears a voice,
‘Stop!! there is a brick going to fall on your head.’
The man stops and the brick drops in front of him.
After a short walk,
The man was again alerted by the voice,
‘Stop Don’t cross the road, there is a speeding car about to hit you.
The man cautiously waits and crosses safely.
He then turns back and thanks the voice behind and asks who is that.
The voice responds,
“I am the guarding angel sent by god to save you from Danger.”
The man politely asks, “Where were you when I was about to get married.”
The husband returns after several hours of fishing
A young woman was preparing a ham dinner

6.



Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.
One day Mike says, “Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s football there.”
“Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed,” Mike, you’ve been my best friend for many years.
If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favour for you.
Shortly after that, Joe passes on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,
“Mike–Mike.”
“Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. “Who is it?”
“Mike–it’s me, Joe.”
“You’re not Joe. Joe just died.”
“I’m telling you, it’s me, Joe,” insists the voice.”
“Joe! Where are you?”
“In heaven”, replies Joe.
“I have some really good news and a little bad news.”
“Tell me the good news first,” says Mike.
“The good news,” Joe says, “is that there’s football in heaven.
Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we’re all young again.
Better still, it’s always spring time and it never rains or snows.
And best of all, we can play football all we want, and we never get tired.”
“That’s fantastic,” says Mike.
“It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s the bad news?”
“You’re in the team for this Saturday’s match !!!”
Friends rock! heaven or he..
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation
A pig walks into a bar and orders

7.



A girl goes into her father’s study, “Daddy, why am I named rose?”
“Because the day you were born a rose petal blew through the window and landed on your cheek.”
Satisfied the girl walks out as her sister walks in. “Daddy, why am I named Lily?”
“Because the day you were born a lily petal blew through the window and landed on your cheek.”
Satisfied the girl walks out as her sister walks in. “Daddy, why am I named Daisy?”
“Because the day you were–“
“HUAAAARWAWAWAAAAAA”
“SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK I’M TALKING TO YOUR SISTER.”
A elderly couple are walking down a country road
3 nuns go to mother superior and say

8.



A poor boy was in love with a rich man’s daughter overcome with his love for the girl, the boy proposed to her.
However, the rich girl derisively rejected him and said, “Your monthly salary is equivalent to my daily expenses how do you expect me to marry someone like you? I can never love you so forget about me go find and marry someone else of your level.”
Despite being rejected so hurtfully, for some reason, the boy could not forget her so easily roughly 10 years later, they accidentally ran into each other in a shopping mall.
She immediately recognized the man and said, “Hey, how are you? I’m now married to a very smart man, and his salary is $15,700 per month! Can you beat that?”
The man, hearing those painful words from the woman he used to care for, held back his tears and said nothing not a few moments passed when the woman’s husband came back to her side.
But before the lady could say a word, her husband immediately recognized the man she was talking to and said,
“Sir? G-good afternoon! I see you’ve met my wife!”
“Good afternoon too, Mr…?”, said the man.
“Mr Carter, Sir!” The husband then turned to his wife and said,
“Dear, I’d like you to meet my boss he owns the $100 million project I’ve been working on!”
The woman, left flabbergasted by the turn of events, was not able to say anything back.
The man just smiled and said, “Well, Mr Carter I’ve got to get going, I have important things to attend to It was splendid seeing you today have a great day!”
For a minute, the couple just stared at the man as he walked away having been over her initial shock, the woman asked her husband in disbelief, “That was your boss?”
“Yes, dear he’s a very humble person but his life is quite a sad story they said he once loved a lady but she dumped him because he was just a poor boy back then.
Because of that, he worked really hard and because he’s smart, he became successful now he’s a multimillionaire who earns millions of dollars a month.
Unfortunately though, he couldn’t move on from that heartbreak and remains unmarried still.”
The husband went on and said, “How lucky would that lady have been if she had married that man?”
The lady looked in total shock and couldn’t utter a word.
The doctor tells him
Drunken Lady

9.



Two deaf people get married.
During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights.
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution.
“Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t we agree on some simple signals?
For instance, at night, if you want to have lovemaking with me, reach over and squeeze my left melons one time.
If you don’t want to have lovemaking, reach over and squeeze my right melons one time.”
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, “Great idea! Now if you want to have lovemaking with ME, reach over and pull on my weapon one time and if you don’t want to have lovemaking, reach over and pull on my weapon… fifty times!”
A elderly couple had been dating
A married couple in their early

10.



There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends.
Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old Little Johnny out for a drive in the car for some quality time pancakes, ice cream, candy just him and his grandson.
One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed.
He knew his grandson always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed.
Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take The Little Johnny for his weekly drive and breakfast.
When they returned, the little Johnny anxiously ran upstairs to see his grandfather who was still in bed.
“Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?” he asked.
“Not really, Papa, it was boring. We didn’t see a single man queer, piece of sh!!!!t, horse’s , tree hugger, socialist left-wing pr!!!!, blind man , and son of a b*** anywhere we went!
We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn’t have any fun.”
A elderly husband and wife noticed
A couple that has been dating

11.



A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant.
“No, no, no!” insisted the man.
“I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
A Father is asked by his friend
The teacher asks a question

12.



An elderly man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
“Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor,
“Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.
He says to himself,
“I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”
then in a normal tone he asks,
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response.
So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks,
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again he gets no response,
So; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her and asked,…
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
“James, for the FIFTH time, I’ve said, CHICKEN!,…” Said the wife.
A woman goes to Italy
Jonesey bought a donkey from Brathwaite

13.



Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest.
The first one spied a nut and cried out, “Oh, look! A nut!”
The second squirrel jumped on it and said, “It’s my nut!”
The first squirrel said, “That’s not fair! I saw it first!”
“Well, you may have seen it, but I have it,” argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, “You shouldn’t quarrel. Let me resolve this dispute.”
The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, “Now, give me the nut.”
He broke the nut in half, and handed half of the shell to each squirrel, saying, “See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved.”
Then he reached over and said, “And for my fee, I’ll take the meat.”
A guy walks into a shoe store
A man walks into a Chemist

14.



A man got really drunk one night in his local pub.
The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home.
The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave but fell over straight away.
He tried to stand up again but only fell over again.
He thought if only he could get outside and get some fresh air he’d be grand.
So he crawled outside then tried to stand up and fell over again.
In the end after falling over lots more he decided to crawl home.
When he got back to his house he pulled himself up using the door handle but as soon as he let go he fell over again.
He had to crawl up the stairs and managed to fall over onto the bed and fell asleep.
When he finally woke up the next morning his wife asked him what he was doing at the pub last night.
He denied it but she said, “I know you were there…” he maintained his innocence until “…the barman rang to say you forgot your wheelchair again….”
There are three girls at a bar
Two elderly excited women were sitting

15.



One old farmer had a large pond in the back,..
fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over.
He hadn’t been there for a while.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.
At once, they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him,
“We’re not coming out until you leave.”
The old man frowned,
“I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim n*ked, or to make you get out of the pond n*ked.”
Holding up the bucket, he said,
“I’m here to feed the alligator.”
Moral: Old men can still think fast!
A statue of a Macho athlete
Confession booth

16.



A woman goes her young daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?”
The mother says, “It’s my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight, and is sick most mornings.”
The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says,
“Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant about 4 months, would be my guess.”
The mother says, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?”
Darla says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!”
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it.
About five minutes pass and finally the mother says,
“Is there something wrong out there doctor?”
The doctor replies, “No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time!”
A old lady was walking down the street
A city kid went to his grandpa farm

17.



A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, “You can’t take it with you.”
After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases.
He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed.
His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.
“Oh, that darned old fool,” she exclaimed.
“I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”
A young lady was waiting for her flight
He goes to his doctor for a complete checkup

18.



A blonde and a brunet are getting in the elevator, along comes this really hot guy.
The girls noticed he has a really bad dandruff problem.
The brunet whispers to the blonde, “Someone should give him head and shoulders.”
And the blonde says, “How do you give shoulders?”
A New York Divorce Lawyer died
A lady about eight months pregnant

19.



At one point during the game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb bastard’, is it?”
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach.
“Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”
A 97 year old midwife at the Pearly Gates
As he walked up to old lady’s car

20.



A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.
“Mommy,” she said, “can we leave now?”
“No,” her mother replied.
“Well, I think I have to throw up!” exclaimed the girl.
“Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush,” said her mother.
After about sixty seconds, the little girl returned to her seat.
“Did you throw up?” her mother asked.
“Yes,” the little girl replied.
“How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?” her mother asked.
“I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy.”
They have a box next to the front door that says: ‘For the Sick.’”
A guy goes to a girl house for the first time
The wife has just taken a shower

21.



A farmer from the cotton fields of Central Texas dies and goes to hell
Why? Well, only his wife, God and the Devil knows!
Once there, the Devil notices that this farmer is not suffering like the rest there are he checks his gauges and sees that it’s 95 degrees and about 80% humidity.
So he goes to the farmer and asks why he’s so happy.
The farmer replies “I like it here It’s just like plowing my fields in June.”
Unhappy with the farmer’s response, the devil goes back to his controls and turns the temperature up to 105 degrees and 90% humidity.
After making the adjustment, the devil goes looking for the farmer finding him just as happy as can be, the Devil is very frustrated and asks the farmer again why he’s so happy.
“This is even beter now! It’s like pulling weeds in the fields during July!” says the farmer.
The Devil, now quite upset and deciding to make the farmer really suffer, returns to his controls and cranks the heat up to 115 degrees and the humidity to 100% “Now we’ll see if that farmer is smiling!” he thinks as he goes looking for the farmer again.
But he found him sitting on the ground, happy as ever now the Devil is madder than before.
When he asks the farmer why he’s happy now, the farmer answers, “This is great, it’s just like driving the picker in August!”
That was enough for the Devil running back to his controls, he turns the temperature down to a freezing 10 degrees below zero.
Within a matter of minutes, the pools of molten brimstone begin to ice over
“Let’s see what what farmer has to say about this,” snickers the Devil to himself.
To his surprise, the Devil returns to find the farmer running around and jumping for joy, yelling at the top of his lungs: “The Cowboys won the Super Bowl! I can’t believe it! The Cowboys won the Super Bowl!”
The Diaries Of A Married Couple
A Blonde Guy walks into a bar

22.



“A 70 years old retired Military officer had one hobby he loved to fish.
He was sitting in his boat and fishing when he heard a voice say, ‘Pick me up’ .
He looked around and couldn’t see anyone.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the same voice say again, ‘Pick me up.’
He looked in the water and saw a frog floating on the water surface.
The officer asked the frog: ‘Are you talking to me?’
The frog said, ‘Yes, I’m talking to you. Pick me up & kiss me; and I’ll turn into the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!’
The retired officer looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.
The frog said, ‘What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said?’
I said, ‘Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.’
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
‘Nah. I would like to have a talking frog rather than a nagging wife with age wisdom comes!
Three old ladies were sitting at dinner
A accountant is in a car travelling

23.



John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
“Would you like a new mink coat?” he asks.
“Not really,” says Mary.
“Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John.
“No,” she responds.
“Would some beautiful new jewelry do the trick?” he asks, becoming slightly exasperated.
“Nah…” she shrugs.
“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he persists.
She again rejects his offer with a “No thanks.”
“Well what WOULD you like?” John asks.
“John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary.
Sorry,” John sighed. “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
A man and his wife were having an argument
A couple is walking in East Berlin

24.



Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in.
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand.
Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”
A little guy sitting at a bar drinking a beer
She noticed several machetes in the car

25.



During a visit to a closed institution
A woman comes to the doctor with broken teeth

26.



Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town.
After a few drinks, they end up at the local night house.
The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager: ‘Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed.
These two are so old and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know the difference’.
The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says “You know, I think my girl was dead’. ”
Dead? says his friend, “Why do you say that?’
‘Well she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her’.
His friend says. ‘Could be worse I think mine was a witch’.
‘A witch??….why the hell would you say that?’ ‘
Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window… took my teeth with her!’
Two medical students were walking
A lady went to a psychiatrist complaining

27.



A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter.
“How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. ”
The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?
“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…”
A blonde had just gotten a new car
A small boy is sent to bed by his father

28.



Steve got a job as a lumberjack…
and on his first day his boss gave him a chainsaw. “here you go. now get to it.”
Steve took the chainsaw, and at the end of the day his boss comes over.
“How many did you get?”, he asks.
“One”, Steve answers.
“wait, how is that possible?
I need you to cut down at least 10 tomorrow.”
And after the second day his boss comes over and asks:”how many?”
Steve says:”two”
“Hmm, maybe there’s something wrong with your chainsaw.
let me take a look at it.” he then proceeds to turn it on.
Steve says:”What’s that sound?
The teacher was teaching the kids
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad

29.



A mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he’s driving a car.
The nurse asks him, “Charlie, what are you doing?”
Charlie replied, “Driving to Chicago!”
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie’s room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, “Well Charlie, how are you doing?”
Charlie says, “I just got into Chicago”.
“Great,” replied the nurse.
The nurse leaves Charlie’s room and goes across the hall into Bob’s room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously wanking.
Shocked, she asks, “Bob, what are you doing?!”
Bob says, “I’m screwing Charlie’s wife while he’s in Chicago!”
A guy who has a bad stutter
John and David were both patients

30.



Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.
In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,‘” asked the lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded,
“Well. I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite donkey Bessie into the…”
“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted,
“just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’“.
Farmer Joe said,
“Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”
The lawyer interrupted again and said,
“Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident,
this man told the Police officer on the scene that he was fine.
Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client.
I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer,
“I’d like to hear what he has to say.”
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded,
“Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the motorway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.
I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.
I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move.
However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Policeman came on the scene.
He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.
After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the officer came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.”
He said,…
“Your donkey was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”
I said: ………………………….
A man had the worst day of his life
Finding one of her student Little Johnny